INSTANT REVIEWS of programming languages (296)

1 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:33 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: C

You can complain all you want, it's not going anywhere anytime soon.

2 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:34 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: C++

You can complain all you want, it's not going anywhere anytime soon++.

3 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:34 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: Java

Mediocre language for mediocre minds.

4 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:38 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl

After using it for eight years, I am still not halfway through learning it.

5 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:39 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: Pascal

What good is it to design a language for learning and not for using?

6 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:39 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: Modula-2

THIS IS JUST LIKE PASCAL, EXCEPT YOU HAVE TO SHOUT.

7 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:40 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: Standard ML

People who majored in CS because they're too dumb for maths love this language.

8 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:46 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: Python

A guy holding a gun to my head could make me write readable code too, but I wouldn't like that either.

9 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:47 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic for Applications, Localized

I used this once, and I've been trying to forget it ever since.

10 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:48 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: SQL

SQL is the COBOL of the nineties.

11 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/04(Tue)18:21 ID:YySFIYFB [Del]

You forgot VB.NET.

12 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/04(Tue)18:21 ID:YySFIYFB [Del]

... And C#.

13 Name: Sling!myL1/SLing 05/01/04(Tue)18:31 ID:x6GgmRhq [Del]

But he didn't forget Poland. ;)

14 Name: !h3/bEAAN16 05/01/04(Tue)18:31 ID:FG8NgWxM [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: PHP

Consistency? That's the hobgoblin of small minds. php.net/manual/ needs more traffic anyway.

15 Name: Lain!KNzMOHRwcE 05/01/04(Tue)20:46 ID:jNc3zqIO [Del]

PHP SUCKS.

16 Name: Albright!LC/IWhc3yc 05/01/05(Wed)08:10 ID:Heaven [Del]

>>14: Agreed.

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby

A programming language developed in Japan which is known by ten Japanese people and ten thousand geeky American otaku who learned it solely because it is a programming language developed in Japan.

17 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/05(Wed)23:05 ID:CxAXq+B1 [Del]

haha, GNAA is wapanese

18 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/07(Fri)06:43 ID:Heaven

>>17 gnaa.us is powered by PHP5. Team Barry on the otherhand, uses Ruby/PostgreSQL/NetBSD.

19 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/07(Fri)06:50 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: mIRC SCRIPTING
Created to make the front end of some random IRC client have a bit more functionality, so then people went and made text editors, mp3 players, image viewers and web browsers and call themselves "coders".

20 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/07(Fri)13:55 ID:Heaven

[b]INSTANT REVIEW: HTML[/b]

It's not a language, doofus.

21 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/07(Fri)14:19 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: BBCode

As dumb as the people who implement it and also not a language

22 Name: hk0!0khonVgaHI 05/01/07(Fri)15:02 ID:L0YmfdLF

INSTANT REVIEW: Javascript

A prototyping object based language that is a joy to use but is forever doomed to spend its years detecting browsers in web pages that insist on pixel-perfect CSS.

23 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/07(Fri)21:23 ID:Heaven

>>18 why did GNAA demand that 4chan admit ruby is awesome and port futallaby to it, then? :\

24 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/07(Fri)21:23 ID:Heaven

or maybe it was iichan, i forget

25 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/07(Fri)21:25 ID:Heaven

>>24
iichan used Wakaba and was never flooded (vericodes)

26 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/08(Sat)01:49 ID:O24eTWL7

>>22

I was struggling to come up with something about Javascript. Thanks!

27 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/01/08(Sat)03:33 ID:Heaven

>>23

Could it be because they are a trolling organisation??

28 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/02/14(Mon)22:05 ID:e3W2mLkB

/INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp/

A language which mysteriously makes everyone who learns it sit around on IRC complaining about how every other language is worse than Lisp.

29 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/02/14(Mon)22:07 ID:e3W2mLkB

INSTANT REVIEW: WakabaMark

A language I can't remember how to use.

30 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 05/02/14(Mon)22:59 ID:F69jWDIM

INSTANT REVIEW: Prolog

slow(prolog).
esoteric(prolog).
mostly_useless(X) :- esoteric(X), slow(X).

?- _

31 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 05/02/14(Mon)23:01 ID:F69jWDIM

INSTANT REVIEW: BASIC

Older versions are better.

32 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 05/02/14(Mon)23:30 ID:F69jWDIM

INSTANT REVIEW: Shell

echo "You must be looking for this: find /usr/ -name perl 2> /dev/null | grep "/usr/.*bin/perl" | sed -e "2~1d""

33 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 05/02/14(Mon)23:31 ID:F69jWDIM

INSTANT REVIEW: Shell [correction]

echo "You must be looking for this: `find /usr/ -name perl 2> /dev/null | grep "/usr/.*bin/perl" | sed -e "2~1d"`"

34 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 05/02/14(Mon)23:36 ID:F69jWDIM

INSTANT REVIEW: Lua

Only game programmers use it.

35 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 05/02/14(Mon)23:45 ID:F69jWDIM

INSTANT REVIEW: Forth

IS RPN SUPERIOR;

36 Name: hk0!0khonVgaHI 05/02/16(Wed)06:08 ID:6JdIinsf

INSTANT REVIEW: perl

Simultaneously the best and worst write-only programming language.

37 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/02/16(Wed)17:47 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Javascript

I turned it off.

38 Name: !#usr/bin/anon 05/02/18(Fri)03:39 ID:sflUXsFL

39 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/02/18(Fri)21:49 ID:2nZo6VYJ

>>38

Wow, that is pretty awesome.

40 Name: Albright!LC/IWhc3yc 05/02/19(Sat)06:32 ID:Heaven

I guess... I don't see why it has to be so complex. Check for an @, then check for at least one . after the @. I can't think of any valid, modern email addresses that break that.

41 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/02/19(Sat)13:19 ID:2nZo6VYJ

>>40

The rules for what a valid email address are are much, much more strict and complex than that. You can do what you suggested, but you'll catch lots of addresses that are invalid, too. This is for making sure an address is strictly valid.

42 Name: Suzuran_Majere!FJv214OAd6 2005-05-11 05:15 ID:jFPgsdSH

>>38

TECO called, and it wants its macros back (and some coffee).

43 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-11 10:12 ID:W4cqn3km

INSTANT REVIEW: Python
owns

44 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-05-11 14:29 ID:Heaven

>>43 lacks funny.

45 Name: facek!DSv3yyjLCE 2005-05-11 18:34 ID:cD3NLWo9

INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN

Your parents dabbled with it in college so they say "know how computers work, stop talking down to me!"

46 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-11 19:58 ID:e3LwI36E

INSTANT REVIEW: Python
My code actually looks pretty now! But I can't remember what it does anymore.

47 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-12 09:13 ID:9OUUTOFJ

INSTANT REVIEW: TECO

[1 J^P$L$$
J <.-Z; .,(S,$ -D .)FX1 @F^B $K :L I $ G1 L>$$

48 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-12 11:59 ID:sUrnyq+X

INSTANT REVIEW: Whitespace

49 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-13 18:53 ID:ZN0y455B

>>46

INSTANT REVIEW: COMMENTS
# ah, i remember.

50 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-16 05:07 ID:qJTXntBK

INSTANT REVIEW: Java

Sucks

51 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-18 00:51 ID:EqHbN6co

>>50 is DQN

INSTANT REVIEW: VBScript

Some bright spark thought it would be cool to make VB's Very Bad syntax scriptable in a browser . sigh

52 Name: American 2005-05-26 21:56 ID:pi462IV/

ASP

SQL MArkup Language

53 Post deleted by moderator.

54 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-07-12 10:52 ID:4n632Blu

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
Swiss Army Ballerina

55 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 2005-07-13 05:34 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: OCaml
(you (can (look (make it)(like lisp)) too));;

56 Name: Stephen Thorne 2005-07-15 03:11 ID:Heaven

>>40 valid email addresses include "<>" and "justaname", they don't have @'s.

57 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-07-15 19:01 ID:T4NambXk

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
Things are automatically better if they're Japanese.

58 Name: Ichigo Pie!5ouPkmz/WI 2005-07-20 17:01 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Clean
When will... the hurting... stop

59 Name: rickyok 2005-08-06 17:07 ID:o8BNf7Hb

INSTAN REVIEW : PHP
<? for( ; ; ) ?> <?= "THis is PhP" ?>

60 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-06 17:32 ID:Heaven

>>59
shrug No worse than perl. And that example is too mundane. That's useless for the sake of it.

61 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 2005-08-07 02:23 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Humourless Dunce

plz read >>60 4 info

62 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-22 00:40 ID:AVfAGgig

INSTANT REVIEW: Java

InstantReview no62 = (new InstantReviewCreator(InstantReviewFactory.get())).newInstantReview()

63 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-22 00:42 ID:AVfAGgig

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl

"#()%$/#"()=%/=")(/#%"$%?=)"#)$?=)"#?=¿!"($)="%?=$(%?(

64 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-22 08:05 ID:In8r3SqM

>>63
lol

65 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-08-22 17:28 ID:Heaven

>>59,62,63 are missing the point. This is not the write-one-line-of-made-up-code thread, it's the Instant Review thread.

66 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-23 04:53 ID:Heaven

>>62
no no no! You must follow established best practises down to the letter, everything else is wrong!

InstantReview no62 = InstantReviewBuilderFactory.getInstance().newInstantReviewBuilder().newInstantReview();
no62.setInstantReview("Just do what it says, don't think about it.");

67 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-26 14:55 ID:AVfAGgig

>>65
Ok then

INSTANT REVIEW: Java
Manager shit.

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
Star Trek for programmers.

68 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-08-26 16:20 ID:ZL7/zNnI

> INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
> Star Trek for programmers.

Now THAT'S more like it!

69 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-28 06:00 ID:QJyaD3TV

INSTANT REVIEW: Dylan
LISP pretending to be C (and object-oriented.)

70 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-30 08:24 ID:4Hl8nOw0

INSTANT REVIEW: .NET
= Same as Java - Platform Independence

71 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-31 18:56 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: C# (sharrrp)
So that VB programmers can feel like real programmers. Also see >>67 >Java

72 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-31 18:57 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: VB
GWBASIC without line numbers

73 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-01 03:32 ID:8rb01OsE

INSTANT REVIEW: ObjectPAL
VBA with weirder syntax, basic regexp support, and more fatal crashes.

74 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-03 06:25 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: C++
C--

75 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-03 08:46 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: bash
you need me nomatter what the review!

76 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-05 21:00 ID:Y6AjK5dR

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C
Smalltalk and C are great! Let's program in both of them at the same time!

77 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-09-05 21:44 ID:ZL7/zNnI

>>76 made me laugh.

78 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-24 19:55 ID:9Ax/PGLq

Perl:
perl -e 'print map {(split(//))[0]} (q study abs, q chomp getc, q die bind, q lstat eval, q g u fag, q die bind, q lstat eval, q y u r gay, q wantarray qw, q y 4chan is gay, q crypt ungetc, q next warn, q eval time, q die bind, q keys break, q qw uniq)'

79 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-09-25 14:47 ID:Heaven

>>78 didn't read >>65.

80 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-25 16:10 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Ada
Lets blow up the world!

81 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-13 05:53 ID:WU9tFWjt

INSTANT REVIEW: Java
NullPointerException

82 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-13 07:09 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: >>81
GA

83 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-13 07:24 ID:oi5Faqs1

INSTANT REVIEW: Assembly Language
Kill yourself in 1001 easy steps.

84 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-14 07:03 ID:Nk1QN56t

INSTANT REVIEW: MATLAB
Vector math and DSP FTW!

85 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-23 17:27 ID:FSEs0iV8

INSTANT REVIEW: Applescript

Tell every reader of the post "Applescript" of the thread "Instant Reviews" of the board "Programming" of the site "4-ch" of the Internet : Making programming easy for morons makes it hard for programmers. End tell.

86 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-23 20:07 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby

The bastard child of Smalltalk and Perl.

87 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-12-03 02:23 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: VHDL
For something that depends on bit and bit_vector so much, it sure hates literal bit strings.

88 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 2005-12-16 08:07 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Python

def __Too__ Many(self, Ugly):
"""Symbols"""

89 Name: #!/usr/bin/anon 2006-01-22 08:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Brainfuck

>+++++++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++[<++++>-]<+.+++++++..+++.[-]>++++++++[<++++>-]

<.#>+++++++++++[<+++++>-]<.>++++++++[<+++>-]<.+++.------.--------.[-]>++++++++[
<++++>-]<+.[-]++++++++++.

90 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 12:00 ID:mHEFa4d3

INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
contents = "Enlightenment and headaches" ++ drop 13 contents

91 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 12:54 ID:Heaven

ITT we write in English as she is spoke.

92 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 21:44 ID:O3BtjTiC

INSTANT REVIEW: VB.NET

If YouAre.FuckingMoron = True Then

 Kick.Self("InAss")

ElseIf

 Invest.Stocks("Google")

EndIf

93 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 23:14 ID:Heaven

These are supposed to be instant reviews, not instant lame code samples.

94 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 23:16 ID:Heaven

btw, >>ElseIf

gg.

95 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-26 02:48 ID:Heaven

>>93
Those are reviews. Don't hate just because you can't be as witty as other people.

96 Name: !WAHa.06x36 : 2006-03-26 17:27 ID:/jW1zPYT

>>95

No, >>93 got it. This is not the "oh-so-clever pseudocode describes what the language" thread, this is the INSTANT REVIEW thread. Reviews are written in English. There's really not much that is witty about writing pseudocode. See >>65, and also see >>1-10,14,16,19-22,28-29,31,34-37,45-46,57,67 and so on.

97 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-26 20:14 ID:Heaven

98 Name: 92 : 2006-03-27 04:15 ID:O3BtjTiC

Fucking prudes.

99 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-27 11:43 ID:j8pECNl8

Why do people who don't get the jist of threads like this have to go and shit on them :(

100 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-27 12:34 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: >>95
idiot

101 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 17:15 ID:RZNxnYSP

INSTANT REVIEW: C#
Modern hindi

102 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 18:53 ID:Heaven

I can't decide if >>101 is some totally hilarious joke I don't get, or just plain nonsense. Most mysterious!

103 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 23:18 ID:Heaven

>>102
Maybe >>101 is alluding to some apparently large number of .NET development that is outsourced to India. ("Kids in India these days speak C# rather than Hindi" or some such.)

104 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-01 14:20 ID:RZNxnYSP

>>103
That was kind of my idea, but it seems that I somewhat failed :(

105 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-04 10:22 ID:tFsKfKu2

INSTANT REVIEW : SCHEME

i'm glad KATE has 7 different colours for parentheses, the code looks just like rainbow afterwards

106 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-04 11:40 ID:Heaven

>>105
never seen scheme source or used kate, but I lol'd anyway

107 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-09 20:59 ID:dZkvOJ4k

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
At least it's not C shells.

108 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-25 14:25 ID:Uble2l1r

Instant Review: tcl
A great way to protect your IRC chan from takeover

109 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-25 16:43 ID:TLag+LIM

INSTANT REVIEW: mIRC script
Perhaps the only "language" designed specifically to code trojans and virii.

110 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-26 20:21 ID:+CaYz4NM

INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
Singly-linked lists are the best data type EVER!

111 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-26 21:39 ID:Heaven

>>110
In all fairness, you could describe Lisp the same way.

112 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-27 02:36 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
Just like that other language.

113 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-06 11:12 ID:fOE2L+Wy

INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
See >>105

114 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-15 13:00 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEW
Stack Overflow

115 Name: edsger : 2006-06-21 16:21 ID:jv578MG5

INSTANT REVIEW: C
C = (BCPL--)++

116 Name: edsger : 2006-06-21 16:29 ID:jv578MG5

INSTANT REVIEW Visual BASIC; Star BASIC
Object oriented PASCAL with added DIM statements and SUBs for that kitsch Olde Worlde feeling

117 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 08:25 ID:aHiB+f4E

Instant review: Python
clean and nice

Instant review: Ruby
Kawaii desu ne

Instant review: Java
Enterprise-grade, industry-standard, scalable language to meet business needs, maximize profits and convert visitors into customers

Instant review: Perl
The goggles, they do nothing!

118 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 08:25 ID:aHiB+f4E

>>117
Oh, boardmarkup messed with my Python review. clean and nice were between two underscores on each side each.

119 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 21:04 ID:Heaven

Wakabamark strikes again!

120 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-29 04:36 ID:Heaven

>>119
Who the hell is Wakabamark? (I know, I know... lurk more... but you can't expect me to know the names of everyone here.)

121 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-29 09:08 ID:T+d3rv+X

122 Name: !TgfOVovqoo : 2006-08-30 23:20 ID:cj2LDwZT

Instant review: Perl
Write only.

Instant review: Python
Easy to write concepts.

123 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 00:06 ID:Heaven

"Easy to write concepts"? What the hell does that even MEAN?

124 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 00:16 ID:TLag+LIM

That it's good for prototyping but little else?

125 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 23:11 ID:DPw5ajaq

A different view of Java, based on the rather disturbing fine print in the licensing agreements:

Don't use this code for realtime control, for weapons systems, or for
anything else that may put life or limb at hazard. It isn't man-rated,
it isn't really thing-rated, and we don't claim that it's worth a good
G*dDamn for anything at all, at all.

          -- Mike Andrews, on Java

126 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-01 18:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: PHP

for(;;)if(pcntl_fork())posix_kill(posix_getpid(),11);

127 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-01 21:10 ID:Heaven

128 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-08 20:19 ID:ID07H8UQ

Instant review: AutoIt
Brave little toaster

129 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-21 22:10 ID:MLPWiCNo

INSTANT REVIEW: FVWM Script

Hey, at least it makes me cool on the Gentoo forums.

130 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-24 11:41 ID:Te/fUAkP

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C

Oh Yeah, now we're talking! =)

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C 2.0

Bring on the goodness! =D

131 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-24 15:40 ID:/jW1zPYT

>>130

More like Smalltalking, am I rite?

Also your review needs some funny.

132 Name: Coo : 2006-09-25 06:14 ID:W1FRwwty

wanna try and make a os?
because if ya want to e mail me to computervirusdocter@yahoo.co.jp
ok

133 Name: Coo : 2006-09-25 06:14 ID:W1FRwwty

come
onn

134 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-25 08:54 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>131

Yeah, see >>76 =D

There was a priest, a rabbi and a monk...

135 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-25 17:56 ID:Nl5L26z8

INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN

Great if you want to make a super computer.

136 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 07:01 ID:NlnfM89W

INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN/COBOL

1960 just called, it wants its code back.

137 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 12:27 ID:HykwNBzd

INSTANT REVIEW: C

'We stopped when we got a clean compile on the following syntax:
for(;P("\n"),R--;P("|"))for(e=C;e--;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("|"+(*u/4)%2);'

138 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 23:00 ID:syKxshv2

>>137 ("_"+(*u++/8)%2)
Is dat some addition of strings??

139 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 02:20 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>138
It will return either '_' or '`' as a char, or as a char cast to whatever the prototype of P accepts.
The value from '(*u++/8)%2' is either a 0 or 1, cos it is the remainder of dividing '*u++/8' by 2.
This is then added to the char value of '_'.

As to what the point of it is, I have not a clue! I would like to know what P does, if it is meant to do anything at all...

Hope this helps! (and is correct...)

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl

Now, which of the 300 hundred ways of parsing a string should I use...

140 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 05:26 ID:O/24EciQ

>>139
"" is a string, not character, literal. That expression adds 0 or 1 to the address of the string, producing (the address of) either "" or "".

141 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 05:30 ID:Heaven

Damn it. Preview post and I both fail.

142 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-09-27 05:44 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: D

This is what happens if you use C++ too long.

143 Name: 137 : 2006-09-27 21:57 ID:lCRvEJt4

>>139
>>140
Actually, I don't have a freakin clue what this does. I ripped it from the GNU humour pages: http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/unix-hoax.html

INSTANT REVIEW: 8052 ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE
200 lines of code, just for displaying "Hello World" on a LCD.

144 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 23:41 ID:8BGjPnfx

Google uses python.

145 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-28 00:48 ID:Heaven

Google, however, does not use >>144.

146 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-28 09:59 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>143
Nice :)

INSTANT REVIEW: HTML
Newbie: Yeah, I can only program in HTML...
Me: 0_o' ... go home.

147 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-01 22:03 ID:Heaven

wow >>146 you must have a big e-penis to be able to call other people newbies

148 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 05:59 ID:NlnfM89W

INSTANT REVIEW: Genetic code (DNA)
Not a real programming language, so obviously it's ultimately useless and for noobs only.

149 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 08:23 ID:Heaven

>>148 hah

150 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 10:08 ID:ebedZw17

>>148
INSTANT REVIEW: Genetic code (DNA)
God: Sup guys?
Darwin: 0_o' ... go home.

151 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 14:07 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>147
Just refering to someone who is not familiar of the differences between programming languages, scripting languages and markup languages.

>>150
God: 0_o' ... depart from me, I never knew you.

152 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 22:12 ID:Heaven

>>151

Oh yes, that is indeed a mortal sin, worthy of eternal contempt and mockery.

Christ, man, get over yourself.

153 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 23:38 ID:Heaven

>>151
so people who are new to coding don't know what they're talking about? phwoar, who woulda thunk! thank you for your instant review; it was an educational experience.

next time more funny though, please.

154 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-10-03 00:26 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEWS of programming languages thread @ 4-ch

ITT we post INSTANT REVIEWS (with more funnay)

155 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-03 14:16 ID:6cv9XDiL

INSTANT REVIEW: WakabaMark
__*Bold and italic*__
**_Bold and italic_**
___God dammit___
** * EAT FLAMING DEATH! * **

>>154
There, the funniest thing I could think of. And by the way, how DO you make something bold and italic in WakabaMark? Because, I really don't know... ^_^;;

156 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-04 06:28 ID:Heaven

>>155
<b><i>like this?</b></i>
actually, you don't. you don't make text <b>bold</b> or <i>italicized</i> with wakabamark, you make it <em>emphasized</em> or <strong>strongly emphasized</strong>. combining emphasis and strong emphasis doesn't really make sense. if you want to make things bold and italicized, use html instead of wakabamark.

157 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-04 06:31 ID:Heaven

oops, i meant to use html

158 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-04 21:24 ID:XwP4lusB

Instant Review: .NET
cross-platform shmosh-platform

159 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-05 14:51 ID:F33LqDXu

INSTANT REVIEW: C

Remember back when they said C was a cross-platform language?

INSTANT REVIEW: Java

Remember back when they said Java was a cross-platform language?

160 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-08 04:14 ID:Heaven

C is a cross-platform language, dammit, unless your definition of "cross-platform language" is "a language in which it is not even possible to do something platform-specific", and that would be silly. I've written dozens of cross-platform C programs. You only have to try.

161 Name: !SrB.HArbLo : 2006-10-09 09:49 ID:aGMM1NdF

INSTANT REVIEW: HARBL

i'm in ur message boardz strokin it

162 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-09 12:31 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: >>161
2004 called, they want their meme back.

163 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-16 00:09 ID:iV+VxpwY

INSTANT REVIEW: C CODE
#INCLUDE yourhotsister.fap

164 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-16 09:19 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: FAIL
>>163

165 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-19 05:55 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Regular Expressions
Just because you can do stuff like ((((\p{L}\p{N})*((\.\p{L}\p{N})*)?):)?(\p{L}\p{N}((\.\p{L}\p{N})*)?)) doesn't mean you should.

166 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-20 20:53 ID:tdNRWfN+

INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell

We're still trying to figure out how to make it useful, but it'll be really expressive and powerful once we do.

167 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-24 17:56 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: !WAHa.06x36

He likes to pass himself off as an anonymous bbs enthusiast, but really still uses a tripcode as seen in >>1

168 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-11-06 00:33 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Common Lisp

The *nix of languages: full of cruft, inertia, and too many implementations.

169 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-08 19:55 ID:fVto3oD1

INSTANT REVIEW: JavaScript 2.0

Perl 6.

170 Name: !WAHa.06x36 : 2006-11-08 21:25 ID:Heaven

>>167

Try and guess how many posts I have made in this thread.

171 Name: not dag ågren!WAHa.06x36 : 2006-11-09 18:51 ID:Heaven

i think i've posted as !WAHa.06x36 at least once in this thread... i thought everyone knew his tripcode...

172 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-09 22:08 ID:Vn9wp4is

a review from someone who's in the middle of learning...

Instant Review: ASM

huh...?

173 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-09 22:48 ID:Heaven

>>172
more like "huh...? which ASM?"

i'm guessing x86, in which case my comment would be more like "OH GOD MAKE THE PAIN STOP" and also "why would anyone learn this"

174 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-10 01:26 ID:JuQczCtB

>>173
actually, that last question applies equally no matter which ASM you're talking about.

175 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-11-10 05:26 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby2

And you thought Perl6 was taking a long time...

176 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-10 06:50 ID:Zqxrhi1V

INSTANT REVIEW: WINDOWS DDK

When you think programming is easy

177 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-10 06:52 ID:Zqxrhi1V

INSTANT REVIEW: MACHINE CODE

Put that in Pascal's pipe and smoke it.

178 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-19 20:25 ID:Heaven

>>171
we don't, please tell us :3

179 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-14 04:35 ID:ugE4JKvk

INSTANT REVIEW: brainfuck
Any language that looks like ebay comment feedback is GREAT+++++++++++++

180 Name: not dag ågren!WAHa.06x36 : 2007-01-14 05:08 ID:Heaven

>>178
write a tripcode cracker and crack it yourself. that's what i did.
it only took me about half an hour to crack this tripcode...

181 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-14 17:32 ID:7kGCLyAg

09013251697
E8IW-QI8E.Ru-chan.E8IW-QI8E@softbank.ne.jp

182 Name: !WAHa.06x36 : 2007-01-14 22:25 ID:Heaven

#hR6k

183 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-21 02:19 ID:5NRPEZwb

>>173-174
ASM more like Spasm

184 Name: Mr VacBob!JqK7T7zan. : 2007-01-23 02:41 ID:3kxjsr+0

INSTANT REVIEW: Ragel

Despite being a language for writing parsers, I am only going to provide text parsing and not any built-in way of reading numbers, and code callbacks will only get pointers to the end of a token instead of the beginning.

185 Name: Mr VacBob!JqK7T7zan. : 2007-01-24 00:47 ID:Yj6TVa7z

(It's actually quite nice though. http://www.zedshaw.com/tips/ragel_state_charts.html)

186 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-25 05:20 ID:yoRGtsDq

INSTANT REVIEW: Java and PHP

Fail and AIDS.

187 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-25 05:42 ID:Heaven

>>186

Thank you for your most wonderful and constructive addition to this THREAD. You humble >>1-185 and remind them about why they can't post just like YOU.

Idiot.

188 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-26 04:01 ID:yoRGtsDq

class Yhbt {
public static void main (String[] args) {

    System.out.println("Thank you for your most humble critique of my most serious post, whose purpose was only to attempt to contribute constructively to this thread");

}
}

189 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-28 00:29 ID:eKV1bKEi

INSTANT REVIEW: Smalltalk
Yay programming:Everything using:Messages is:Fun.

190 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-28 04:10 ID:yoRGtsDq

INSTANT REVIEW: SQL

Official lanaguage of the universe.

191 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-28 12:48 ID:eKV1bKEi

The embedded list!
------------------

INSTANT REVIEW: x86 assembly
It's fun when you're programming your shiny new 3GHz $500 processor with an instruction set that was antiquated 20 years ago, and realize it's gonna be around for another 20 years.

INSTANT REVIEW: MIPS assembly
It's fun when you're programming your four year old 1GHz $5,000 processor with one of the cleanest instruction sets around, and realize that nobody makes MIPS systems anymore.

INSTANT REVIEW: ARM assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 1GHz $5 processor with one of the simplest instruction sets around, and realize you're targeting a mobile phone.

INSTANT REVIEW: PowerPC assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 3GHz $50 processor with one of the most popular RISC instruction sets around, and realize that Apple abandoned you and the latest PowerPC processors are more crippled than netburst.

INSTANT REVIEW: PIC assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 40MHz $0.50 processor with one of the most basic instruction sets around, and realize that you're writing code for a remote control!

INSTANT REVIEW: C166 assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 40MHz $50.00 processor with one of the most funky instruction sets around, and realize that if you make a mistake somebody is probably going to die.
(note: C166s are used in a lot of car management computers, airplane instruments, etc)

INSTANT REVIEW: VU assembly
It's fun when you're programming your six year old 297MHz processor with one of the coolest instruction sets around, and realize you've just spent twenty hours solid optimizing a loop for a game that's just been canceled.

INSTANT REVIEW: C
It's fun when you realize that you can do something easier and more efficiently in assembly, but your manager requires it to be "portable".

192 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-29 05:02 ID:/jW1zPYT

INSTANT REVIEW: Python and Ruby at the same time, presented entirely as a quote from some web forum:

"0 is true?!? This sensation in my head must be what those Python-haters feel when they unfairly dismiss a language with meaningful whitespace."

193 Name: Mike : 2007-01-30 04:44 ID:IUtWi4Az

are there any reviews on Visual Basic ^^;

194 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-01 14:56 ID:F33LqDXu

INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic

No.

195 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2007-02-01 18:28 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic

Did you mean: delphi?

196 Name: Nanoviper : 2007-02-02 22:51 ID:FmOmdMOq

C++ is teh pwn lols

197 Name: Mike : 2007-02-03 05:37 ID:IUtWi4Az

nope visual basic is an actual programming language. it was made by microsoft.

198 Name: Mike : 2007-02-03 05:38 ID:IUtWi4Az

>>195

you might be right I am still new to programming.

199 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-03 08:28 ID:NlnfM89W

INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic

HyperCard for professionals.

200 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-03 14:43 ID:iXdB98qu

>>195 win... even though nobody else seems to have got the joke :)

201 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-04 05:07 ID:Heaven

>>200
oh we got it, but we didn't feel a need to bump the thread to say so

202 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-05 08:58 ID:Heaven

In after 200GET

203 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-11 15:49 ID:08L0mvSO

INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
Because boss wants it done, YESTERDAY!

204 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-12 18:54 ID:3kxjsr+0

INSTANT REVIEW: SML

It is impossible to get a runtime exception with this language, because it is impossible to understand the compiler errors.

205 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-13 18:54 ID:3kxjsr+0

(This also applies to Haskell.)

206 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-14 08:04 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: VB.NET

>combines the essence of C++ and javascript

207 Name: Guille : 2007-02-14 15:34 ID:aVlv23GN

>>80 I lold

INSTANT REVIEW - Pseudocode

Just as useful as Pascal: You will have a great idea of what to do, but you'll have to apply it somewhere else later if you want it to be out to the public.

208 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-16 04:28 ID:5NRPEZwb

>>203
Now that's the truth.

209 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-16 14:03 ID:BYjEXjax

INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
http://xkcd.com/c224.html

INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
BASIC and C++ are horrible! Let's program in both of them at the same time!

210 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-20 19:11 ID:jP2jR3E9

INSTANT REVIEW: C++
Segmentation fault.

INSTANT REVIEW: C
Hello World!^$&% @LK#J @ ^K@#LJ$ @#LKJ(U (U ASH@#%() (@U# 235 23(^@#)(U$ @#I^ 2394 2#^(@ U#$@#$ 23^KJ#$ @(#U ^U==12#(P @%(U

211 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-20 21:26 ID:3kxjsr+0

INSTANT REVIEW: PHP
\'Hello World!\'

212 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-24 17:03 ID:Heaven

>>211
good one

213 Post deleted by moderator.

214 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-06-03 03:51 ID:CoHgljDv

>>211

oh exploitable

215 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-06-04 21:47 ID:+HdpEdoV

INSTANT REVIEW: Common Lisp

We got the language right back in the '50s, and then spent the next 50 years trying to agree on the argument order. And failed.

216 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-07 10:45 ID:p53KKMyr

Algol: Assembly language is too low-level.

Pascal: Algol doesn't have enough data types.

Modula: Pascal is too wimpy for systems programming.

Simula: Algol isn't good enough at simulations.

Smalltalk: Not everything in Simula is an object.

Fortran: Assembly language is too low-level.

Cobol: Fortran is scary.

PL/1: Fortran doesn't have enough data types.

Ada: Every existing language is missing something.

Basic: Fortran is scary.

APL: Fortran isn't good enough at manipulating arrays.

J: APL requires its own character set.

C: Assemby language is too low-level.

C++: C is too low-level.

Java: C++ is a kludge. And Microsoft is going to crush us.

C#: Java is controlled by Sun.

Lisp: Turing Machines are an awkward way to describe computation.

Scheme: MacLisp is a kludge.

T: Scheme has no libraries.

Common Lisp: There are too many dialects of Lisp.

Dylan: Scheme has no libraries, and Lisp syntax is scary.

Perl: Shell scripts/awk/sed are not enough like programming languages.

Python: Perl is a kludge.

Ruby: Perl is a kludge, and Lisp syntax is scary.

Prolog: Programming is not enough like logic.

http://www.paulgraham.com/fix.html

217 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-07 10:53 ID:3zcV5jbD

MATLAB: You'd already best have finished C if you even want to THINK about using this language.

218 Name: c:\4-ch\anonymous.exe : 2007-11-07 11:24 ID:Heaven

>>216
Look, it's Paul Graham!

Or is a just a faggot who copy and pastes shit from reddit?

219 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-07 14:46 ID:Heaven

Aw c'mon, don't bring back this worthless trolling thread.

220 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2007-11-07 17:44 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Python and Ruby

We're advanced languages!

Huh? Lexical scoping? What's that?

221 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-07 22:33 ID:Heaven

ruby: last minute attempt to be functional

222 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-08 04:00 ID:Heaven

lucid: haskell and prolog are not academic enough

223 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-08 12:01 ID:Heaven

>>220 Ruby has lexical scoping.

224 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2007-11-08 16:29 ID:Heaven

>>223
It most assuredly does not. Rather, it has that hack called blocks to substitute for first-class functions and lexical scoping (and doesn't get it right either).

225 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-10 10:23 ID:Heaven

Saying it doesn't get it right without saying how it doesn't get it right, is effectively the same as giving no information whatsoever.

226 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2007-11-10 21:13 ID:Heaven

>>225
For your edification: http://4-ch.net/code/kareha.pl/1132768506/105

Now, let's get back to the humor:

227 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-14 23:33 ID:TpfWKJ1a

INSTANT REVIEW: Machine Code
1010 1010 1011 1010 0010 0011 1001 1001

228 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-15 14:51 ID:wJ/iY0TB

Delphi: silently getting shits done.

229 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-15 15:02 ID:NqLovCe4

INSANT REVIEW: lisp
Simple (the first scheme manual was ~50 pages long))))))))))))))))))))))))

230 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-16 01:27 ID:Z2bF661s

PowerShell, C#, and J#: "C'mon guys, we're cool and hip! Just like Ruby, Python, and Java!"

WCF (Indigo) and ASP.NET: "C'mon guys, we're cool and hip! Just like SOAP, AJAX, PHP, and Rails!"

OT: Zune: "C'mon guys, we're cool and hip! Just like the iPod!"

231 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-16 12:31 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: >>230

Will hate anything with Microsoft's name on it, without ever looking at what it actually is.

232 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-16 13:39 ID:Z2bF661s

>>231
I used to work at Microsoft ("v-" work-for-hire on the Group Policy sub-division of the Enterprise Services sub-division of the OS division). So yes, I am pretty familiar with most of the technologies I mock.

Have you ever heard of irony? I hate MS's sycophancy more than the actual technologies themselves.

INSTANT REVIEW: >>231

Abort, Retry, or Fail (A/R/F)? F

233 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-18 00:27 ID:qb2OZHWF

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby

A blast!

234 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-18 03:47 ID:N0iTodDE

INSTANT REVIEW: Actionscript
Let's pay money to program in PHP.

235 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-18 22:05 ID:FV4Xok2O

INSTANT REVIEW: Python
The OSX of programming languages. Good at getting stuff done, but it won't help your E-penis.

236 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-19 03:00 ID:Heaven

>>235
If you have to explain the analogy then it isn't funny.

237 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-19 12:33 ID:Heaven

>>236
If you have to explain someones failure, he instantly wins and you fail

238 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-19 23:35 ID:Heaven

>>237
I disagree. Rather, you fail.

239 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-20 00:07 ID:Heaven

>>238
i agree. you fail.

240 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-24 13:41 ID:Heaven

>>239
I'm >>238, and I concede that I fail.

241 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-27 00:35 ID:4qYKlJbL

INSTANT REvIEW: C#
I'm Java, but not portable.

242 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-11-27 04:21 ID:jlwenTeP

INSTANT REVIEW: Eiffel
Buzzword-oriented programming.

243

244

245 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-07 20:45 ID:QKTQ9yxK

INSTANT REVIEW VIA LARRY WALL QUOTES: PHP
"We've also seen the rise of PHP, which takes the worse-is-better approach to dazzling new depths, as it were. By and large PHP seems to be making the same progression of mistakes as early Perl did, only slower."

246 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-07 21:18 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Java

I'm Java, but not portable.

247 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-08 00:13 ID:/I5weYqw

INSTANT REVIEW: Python

Unreadable, unmaintainable and unstructured.

248 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-08 05:06 ID:cPy/hgsy

>>247

>Unreadable

Anything but, with it's forced indentation.

249 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-08 06:38 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Trolling

Post deleted by moderator.

250 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-08 12:12 ID:Heaven

>>248
Forced indentation doesn't help readability, although it does increase irritability.

251 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-10 02:38 ID:Heaven

>>250
Why not?

252 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-10 03:41 ID:7RLMXImK

>>251

Because frankly, expert programmers don't want to waste time tending bonsai when they're experimenting. That means they want a language that helps them get prototype-quality results fast. That's why languages like perl and lisp are so damn powerful: Their design makes it easy to get results fast.

When Python makes you spend so much time on some code aesthetic that you're not experimenting, you necessarily end up with a second-rate design. Oh sure, it looks pretty, but it took you three times longer, and it's slower than what could've been accomplished in better languages.

253 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-11 12:15 ID:Heaven

>>252
I've already designed my program using models on paper and in my head before I touch a keyboard. Writing code takes me no time compared to the time it takes me to model ways of solving the specs.

254 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-12 02:57 ID:7RLMXImK

>>253 The requirements are rarely well-known enough to make those kinds of decisions before development starts. That's why programs like BIND, Sendmail, DHCPD, and Apache are so freakishly complicated, and buggy. It isn't because the people writing them are worse engineers than you- they're probably much better engineers. It is the result of their development that has made the domain well-defined, so it is obvious that getting the prototype working quickly is more important. It provides useful information that all the planning on paper and "in your head" will simply never provide.

255 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-12 03:09 ID:19xldjGT

>>252
Get a real text editor editor.

Also, I don't see how it doesn't help readability.

256 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-12 14:06 ID:Heaven

Better yet, use a better language and a real text editor, and save even more time.

257 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-12 17:31 ID:Heaven

Discussion now continues here: http://4-ch.net/code/kareha.pl/1197432195/

258 Post deleted.

259 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-14 10:59 ID:FV4Xok2O

INSTANT REVIEW: XSLT

It's Turing Complete!

260 Post deleted.

261 Name: bash2.05b$ : 2007-12-19 03:00 ID:28OSZLnX

Assembler
Like trying to shoot yourself in the foot, but you end up having to invent the gun, the foot, and you.

262 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-20 20:51 ID:+k9wIilP

>>261
What do you mean by assembler?
Like NASM or that fucking horrible GNU ASM

263 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-21 01:37 ID:Heaven

>>262
NASM uses what's called Intel assembly. "The other" format is AT&T assembly, and it has a number of functional benefits over Intel syntax, not the least of which being it's what every other system uses, which means porting between architectures is (a small bit) easier.

NASM reminds me too much of Microsoft assembler.

264 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-28 11:19 ID:w5mKF+sm

[B]INSTANT REVIEW: MALBOLGE[/B]

GOQ/)§%"06z8jT§%OI&UJASOI%

265 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-12-28 20:52 ID:Heaven

>>264

The point here is kind of that you should try to actually be funny or insightful. Also, welcome to a world unpolluted by BBcode.

266 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-07 11:40 ID:6OiYkSnE

INSTANT REVIEW: PHP

Warning: mysql_connect() [function.mysql-connect]: Can't connect to MySQL server on 'localhost' (10055) in /home/httpd/public_html/index.php on line 3
Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent in /home/httpd/public_html/index.php on line 3
I don\\\\'t know why more people haven\\\\'t tried PHP yet, it\\\\'s so easy to make a dynamic website with it!
Warning: mysql_num_rows(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home/httpd/public_html/index.php on line 21

267 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-07 16:07 ID:Heaven

>>266

See >>265. Do try to actually say something.

268 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-07 21:51 ID:Heaven

>>267
I did. Read the post.

269 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-10 06:23 ID:Heaven

That's not a review. That's an error copypasta.

270 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-10 11:38 ID:Heaven

271 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-10 12:10 ID:Heaven

>>269 obviously didn't read the body of the error.

272 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-10 15:42 ID:Heaven

I did, and it wasn't funny, and the error messages didn't make it any funnier.

273 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-11 04:52 ID:Heaven

>>267-272
massive fail

274 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-11 15:29 ID:Heaven

>>273

Less lame 4chanisms would also be appreciated. Once again, if you have something to say, say it. Don't quote tired old memes that no longer have any meaning at all.

275 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-12 14:20 ID:Heaven

>>274
massive fail

276 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-02-13 18:42 ID:Heaven

>>274 "Don't quote tired old memes" is in itself a tired old meme.

277 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-08-14 22:00 ID:74p6ockq

INSTANT REVIEW: Io

Javascript done right, but these objects are too slow :(

278 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-08-21 04:30 ID:pVJ0gVPq

<b>INSTANT REVIEW: C#/Java</b>

Slower than C, more memory use than Python, less libraries than Perl. Serves no technical purpose.

279 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-08-24 00:14 ID:qVp/RhSv

[b]INSTANT REVIEW: C#/Java[/b]

Popularity through marketing has one huge advantage for the programmer: thousands and thousands of employment opportunities, so you can hack on Haskell/Ruby/YourFavoriteToyLanguage in your spare time.

280 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-08-24 10:38 ID:UkP80jsH

INSTANT REVIEW: PostScript
{(Why talk to people when there is printers?)=} loop

281 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-08-24 14:17 ID:Heaven

>>280

close! You need a space between the = and the )

282 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-08-24 15:29 ID:Heaven

>>281

Ghostscript is more forgiving then this board.

283 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-08-27 16:01 ID:5+Rn0sCo

still more forgiving than DQN's elitist superstructure

284 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-08-28 00:19 ID:EGX9muy3

INSTANT REVIEW: Java

When you want to create apps(shit) like Runescape.

285 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-02 08:26 ID:SqiLWOjm

INSTANT REVIEW: C++

All the features of your favorite modern languages, without the overhead, as long as you're willing to invest YEARS learning it.

286 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-06 07:58 ID:s+abQu4p

>>285
Unless those YEARS'' involve implementing those other languages in C++, that statement is only true if your only favorite modern'' language is C++, and then only partially, because C++ has exactly as much overhead as C++ does.

287 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-07 23:09 ID:1CRDGsLC

INSTANT REVIEW: MarkDown

Monkey patching ASCII at its finest.

288 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-10 05:05 ID:ltoDa+1P

INSTANT REVIEW: Brainfuck
You'll know it when you see it.

INSTANT REVIEW: lisp
It pretty much writes, rewrites and rerewrites itself.

INSTANT REVIEW: QuickBASIC
This language died. Its fanbase didn't.

INSTANT REVIEW: BASIC
For when you get bored in math class.

INSTANT REVIEW: l33t
Yes, there's a programming language based around it.

289 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-11 02:56 ID:MLd/Coir

>>285

All the features of your favorite modern languages, with the overhead of implementing those features yourself, and it will take YEARS to do that correctly.

Fix'd

290 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-16 22:40 ID:HcPj6Bfa

INSTANT REVIEW: LOLCODE
Oh god no.

291 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-17 12:13 ID:Qk0dVSes

INSTANT REVIEW: C# and .net
ms make VB verson of java and c

292 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-17 12:36 ID:Heaven

>>291
Oh man Allen Iverson is my favorite basketball player!

293 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-17 19:06 ID:ObJGF8bi

>>291

That makes absolutely no fucking sense at all. You are confusing a lot of unrelated things.

.Net is not a programming language.

C# and VB.Net have similar capabilities but are not the same and the languages are fundamentally different.

C# is similar to the Java language, but closer to C++ than the Java language.

Many languages use the C style syntax, including Java. Java and C# are a long way from the C language.

.Net is similar to the Java platform but fundamentally contains more in many aspects.

You demonstrate a complete lack of understanding of the concets of Java, .Net and C.

294 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-19 06:30 ID:Heaven

>>293
You demonstrate a complete inability to understand metaphor, or the meaning of "instant" in "instant review".

295 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-19 07:17 ID:ObJGF8bi

>>294

OK, I'll instantly review a language with the same comprehention as that post.

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby and Rails
Ruby Team make Smalltalk verson of Python and Perl

Fuck, that actually makes more sense than that nonsense.

296 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2008-09-19 09:42 ID:Heaven

>>295
I'd have said "Ruby Team make Python version of PHP and shell script" if the intention was to have it make the same amount of sense as >>291.

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