shitty fucking poetry night (473)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-5045 20:53

I raise up
to only fall down
drown in the tears of the wallyb
for it is you that will have to be
TONIGHT

308 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8331 20:42

>>306
This would actually sound really cool if chanted to the Yuru Yuri theme song.

309 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8332 08:31

All I've ever known was
how to be a companion
it feels so odd
to be all alone
inside is a hole
as deep as a canyon
as i sit and stare
at my silent phone
under the moon
loli to issho

310 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8341 09:23

Silent shite, holy shite
Cutting turds with all my might
Round yon virgin porcelain is piled
Anus curry, so tender and mild

311 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8343 14:38

I fear the wasp that checks my window
Every now and then.
I fear it more than violent men
or frostbite, liquid nitrogen
or falling down up stories ten
yet I cant just close it, no, I fear the heat more than waspbro.

312 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8345 16:37

i lost my first love
and the pain only grows
an injury my mother cannot kiss better
loli to issho

313 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8347 01:44

You don't wanna fuck wit a G like me
I'll cop your stash and steal your girl fo free
You don;t know shit bout a G like me
I have the best time in donkey kong country
You don't wanna fuck wit a G like me
I'm really fuckin good at MTG

My hood is lit
I got yo bitch
My Pikachu
don't fuck wit you

under the moon
loli to issho
watching my favorite
television show

Cheers!

(fade out with "Where Everybody Knows Your Name")

314 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8365 18:47

Get a big TV
Someone walks in front of it
Woah, hey; hey, woah, hey

315 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8385 19:16

A rumbling in my bowels has started.
A maneuver means my cheeks are parted.
What feels wet? I only farted.
Oh my god, I think I sharted.

316 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8394 05:53

Our beloved admin appears to be dead
So in order to hide the unsightly spam
I will now bump all of the threads
In a manner suited to fists of ham

317 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8526 20:52

A trigger warning
Hey, my brother died that way
Triggered by warning

318 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8562 10:56

How now, you've got Austar, got the game on, go, watch, play
How now, you've got Foxtel, got your shows on, go, press play

319 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8613 09:03

The longer my donger
It lessers her pleasures
I know it was wronger
But don't use half-measures

320 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8613 12:07

Ranger Rick
took a shit
Ranger Rick
has no dick

321 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8634 13:54

(Oh shit) Here comes Diogenes
Not an easy man to please
Never makes me glad to see
A grown ass dude on hands and knees

(Oh no) If that is your philosophy
To label every thought as greed
Then don't you even talk to me
Instead I'll take up sophistry

322 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8634 15:39

>>320
I remember reading that preachy magazine as a lad! Always hated it, read it anyway.

323 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8648 00:12

And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing
You're going to have to do her with your ding-a-ling
('cause you can't say "penis")

324 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8650 02:45

Fred Fuchs
Alas, his name sucks
Some shitty nerd
Thinks it's a turd
It really sucks
to be Fred Fuchs

325 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8650 03:58

thick cum
up the bum
yum yum
lotsa cum

326 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8652 13:45

My golden rod of heaven goes "zork zork"
When Asuka Soryu Langley does "pork pork"
I eat my peas and honey with a fork
Some dude you've never heard of is a dork

327 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8653 01:02

Symmetry gimmickry
A kopipe recipe

328 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8703 15:39

Go-gurt myself today
To skip another meal
It won't turn out okay
My butthole's gonna squeal

329 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8763 07:39

somebody once asked
could i spare some change for gas
i've gotta get these jews out of my place
i said yep, what a concept
i could use an endlösung myself
and we could all use a cleaner race

330 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8763 08:05

My dick in your chakras
Make you shake like maracas

331 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8763 13:40

Sitting in my tracksuit
Wanting to play the skin flute

332 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8808 22:35

nig-nog
chink gook wog

333 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8811 03:22

I sit between a crossroads.
A dark circle,
white flight,
welcome to the Anime Turnpike.

334 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8812 07:07

dicks out for Harambe
is a dead meme
and yes i know these words dont rhyme

335 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8813 00:52

Loli to issho under the moon.
My strong, burly visage is making her swoon.
Moon to issho under the loli,
This is all wrong; a ridiculous folly.

336 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8814 08:28

Circle, circle,
dot, dot,
Now you've got some herpes, thot.

337 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8816 14:39

bad luck
butt fuck

338 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8816 19:06

Still life, not quite death.

339 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8874 20:26

He's checking your pulse
He's checking it twice
He'll make the job quick if you have been nice
Santa Claus is hunting you down

340 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8875 21:23

Alexa, set a reminder to turn off the life support.

341 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8877 12:09

Thank You Merry Christmas
Thank You Merry Christmas
Thank You Merry Christmas
Thank You Merry Christmas
Thank You Merry Christmas
君を愛しているからOnly Silent Night

342 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-8878 00:06

The lights above the sink
That illuminate the sink
They will help you
See the sink

343 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8878 14:55

Under za moon loli to issho
Za moon is the vehicle
Za device I use to describe it
Za true meaning of my phraze
Za penis
Under za penis, loli to issho.

344 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8947 01:22

make an entrance
to entrance
make a purchase
to perch ass

345 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9009 09:01

I felt my life-years and creativity faded away.
I had indeed let my dreams be dreams.
Why didn't I do things my own way?
Then I would at least be somewhere I don't hate.

My heart is aching
my world is decaying
nobody loves me
and I have no savings

346 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9011 02:11

when i find myself in times of trouble
rap battles comfort me
speaking words of history
epically, epically

347 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9028 19:46

My name is Anonymous and I'm here to say:
I hate living and I am gay.

348 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9028 23:10

Hark ser Pavel, and good day,
My Christian name is CIA.

We journeyed to the meeting zone,
But the doctor was not alone.

I fear doctor this party ends,
Our deal did not include your friends.

Nay agent, you are incorrect.
These men do not my life protect.

Worry not, ser CIA.
For these men you need not pay.

Good ser, I plainly fail to see,
What use these men would be to me.

Well agent, these hooded knaves,
Nearly put us in our graves.
They laid in wait to spring their trap,
Ser Pavel they aimed to kidnap.
The rogue who set them on their task,
Was the man who wears the mask.

Surely you do not mean Bane?
Alright, embark upon our plane.
Our Lords in Langley I'll notify,
That with the doctor we now fly.

Hark now, knaves, and listen well,
For you may soon end up in Hell.
The first of you to knowledge share,
Will stay with us safe in the air.

Tell me man, and tell me true,
The name of he who hired you,
To take the Doctor from his home,
And carry him to place unknown.

...Will you not speak? The you shall die,
"Not good" 's how I'd describe you fly.
The next among you I shall ask:
Bane! Why does he wear the mask?

Your silence is both strange and bold,
For one who fights for naught but gold.

Perhaps the man does simply wonder,
Why, before you'd throw him yonder,
You would shoot him in the head,
And cast him out when he is dead.

Finally a man here who can speak,
You may be the one I seek.
Tell me this: what is your name?
Lest you suffer a fate the same.

349 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9028 23:13

It matters not, dear CIA.
It did not matter until the day,
I set my mind upon my task,
And donned my distinctive mask.

If I removed, with my fair hand,
the mask that has become your brand,
Would forth the maw of death creep,
and bring about eternal sleep?

An action such as that would be
painful to an extreme degree.

But the pain that would ensue,
could surely be endured by you,
For after all, I clearly see,
A man of grander build than me.

It seems you have mistaken it,
it won't be I that bites the bit!
Painful times are sure ahead
but not for me - for you, instead.

Surely Bane you had not planned,
To end up captive in my hand?

Of course dear man, now here I am.
I shall unveil my master plan.
The Doctor's aid we had sought,
But in with you he threw his lot.
With my own eyes I had to see,
What knowledge he had shared with ye.

Nothing, I have not told them a word,
To think otherwise would be absurd.

Ser Bane it seems you are now here,
Pray, dear ser, lend me your ear,
And allow me, if it pleases you,
to ask what you intend to do.
So tell me, if you even can,
what's the next step in your master plan?

My plan, you see, is quite insane
For I intend to crash this plane
To send it falling from the sky
So all aboard will surely die!

350 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9028 23:13

NAY! You cannot do this Bane!
For I am the lord of this plane!

Hold up, brother - you stay here,
We cannot all just disappear
One of us must stay in the plane,
But your death shall not be in vain.

Tell me, brother, if it pleases you,
Of the ravaging fire that we pursue.
Is it small and calm and unexcited,
Or is kindled, warm and ignited?

The mighty flame for which you die,
Is burning hot and rising high.
Pray doctor, 'tis not the time for fear!
Such time has yet to draw near.

351 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9038 02:23

Against what light

is false what breath
sucked, for deadness.
Murder, the cleansed

purpose, frail, against
God, if they bring him
bleeding, I would not

forgive, or even call him
black dada nihilismus.

The protestant love, wide windows,
color blocked to Mondrian, and the
ugly silent deaths of jews under

the surgeons knife. (To awake on
69th street with money and a hip
nose. Black dada nihilismus, for

the umbrellad jesus. Trillby intrigue
movie house presidents sticky on the floor.
B.D.N., for the secret men, Hermes, the

blacker art. Thievery (ahh, they return
those secret gold killers. Inquisitors
of the cocktail hour. Trismegistus, have

them, in their transmutation, from stone
to bleeding pearl, from lead to burning
looting, dead Moctezuma, find the West

a grey hideous space.

2.

From Sartre, a white man, it gave
the last breath. And we beg him die,
before he is killed. Plastique, we

do not have, only thin heroic blades.
The razor. Our flail against them, why
you carry knives? Or brutaled lumps of

heart? Why you stay, where they can
reach? Why you sit, or stand, or walk
in this place, a window on a dark

warehouse. Where the minds packed in
straw. New homes, these towers, for those
lacking money or art. A cult of death

need of the simple striking arm under
the streetlamp. The cutters, from under
their rented earth. Come up, black dada

nihilismus. Rape the white girls. Rape
their fathers. Cut the mothers throats.

Black dada nihilismus, choke my friends

in their bedrooms with their drinks spilling
and restless for tilting hips or dark liver
lips sucking splinters from the masters thigh.

Black scream
and chant, scream,
and dull, un
earthly
hollering. Dada, bilious
what ugliness, learned in the dome, colored holy
shit (i call them sinned

or lost
burned masters
of the lost
nihil German killers
all our learned

art, member
what you said
money, God, power,
a moral code, so cruel
it destroyed Byzantium, Tenochtitlan, Commanch
(got it, Baby!

For tambo, willie best, dubois, patrice, mantan, the
bronze buckaroos.

For Jack Johnson, asbestos, tonto, buckwheat,
billie holiday.

For tom russ, loverture, vesey, beau jack,

(may a lost god damballah, rest or save us
against the murders we intend
against his lost white children
black
dada
nihilismus

352 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9047 17:38

353 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9049 06:25

I’ve been drinking again
Go to bed at 2am
Feeling quite unhappy
And I know that it’s sappy
But I want to start a family
It really means a lot to me
Doubt I’ll ever do it though
Probably end up with stupid ho
No morals or tradition
Believes in dumb shit like superstition
Feminism and career goals
Wants to do away with gender roles
Sexual liberation
Something wrong with this nation
Romance is dead and buried
Single moms twice remarried
Only for financial support
Prenups don’t hold up in court
Used goods, not my thing
Ain’t giving someone like that a ring
The death of the nuclear family
Is bad news for society
Concentrate on university
Depressed by the enormity
Of America’s social mess
The cause of a lot of stress
Time is flying by
Fewer options for an older guy
I could get back with my ex
But the baggage just ain’t worth it
The only thing I liked was the sex
But in every other way she’s pure shit
Probably die bitter and alone
But at least I can vent about it on my phone

354 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9049 19:10

Of Man's first disobedience, and the fruit
Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste
Brought death into the World, and all our woe,
With loss of Eden. till one greater Man
Restore us

355 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9061 21:50

☆Twinkle Twinkle little cunt,

Looking for some puss to hunt,

No matter how hard you try

To go get some on the sly

Twinkle Twinkle little cunt,

Looking for some puss to hunt!☆

356 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9062 18:09

capitalism sucks
jobs are really lame
I don't give two fucks,
play a video game

357 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9094 06:37

I LIVED THROUGH STRUGGLE

I HAD CUP OF NOODLES FOR BREAKFAST

EVERYDAY LAST WEEK

MY CAR GOT A FLAT TIRE

AND IM STILL STANDING

LIKE A TREE, LIKE A ROCK, LIKE A FUCKING LION I AM POWER

IM OUT OF SRIRACHA FOR MY NOODLES WHEN I GET HOME BUT THATS OK BECAUSE ILL BE GOING TO THE SUPERMARKET ON MY WAY OUT THANK YOU EVERYBODY

AROOOO

358 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9094 19:03

Standin' on the rooftops, givin' Tim a blowjob, whoooah-oah

359 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9094 23:55

eastern europeans and rooftop koreans
I'm dtf but she just wanna be friends

360 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9106 18:33

[tune: Eleanor Rigby]

Oliver Cromwell
lived in a horse 'til his children divorced
then he screamed
into a pylon

Eat all the cheez-its
once more you shit, and I'll hand you a jar full of horns
into your rectum

361 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9107 09:33

I haven't been to DQN
Since September 7000 or so (1993)
Holy shits, this site still exits
So many memories
Miton ga suki

362 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9114 21:52

I ain't happy
The 10 rolls: bad
Love live sunshine
Weapon: bag
My Grid's useless
But not for long
My Omega's Coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on

363 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9139 13:57

Acres of dry clouds
Stuffed full of soulmeat
Cops fall asleep standing up on the rainbeat

364 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9142 20:33

They say no man might be an Island, but an Island Makes The Man...
'Specially when they come from one called Newfoundland.
And to da ones dat left , Ye're never truley gone
Dere's a candle in da window and da kettles always on!

365 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9144 03:38

Zero point

Alpha Beta

Muno sleeps in the forest

Yo Gabba Gabba listen for truth

Trudy hides in the forest

480

Q

366 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9175 18:25

I am a Brown bear...

I was born under Hokkaido's sky!

In the wild I did abide.

A human decided to bother me one day...

I fought long and hard, such is the bear's way.

He pushed me off a cliff and said that I was killed.

But I am livin' still...

...

I'll always be around, around, around, around, around.........

367 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9237 21:13

“Praying For Rain”

The sky god is also named Zhang
Why does he make life hard for me
If it doesn’t rain in three days
I’ll demolish your temple
Then I’ll have cannons bombard your mom

“Untitled”

Someone asks me how many women I have
I really don’t know either
Yesterday a boy called me ‘dad’
I don’t know who his mother is

“Visiting Mount Tai”

From afar, Mount Tai looks blackish
Narrow on top and wide at the bottom
If you flipped it upside down
It would be narrow at the bottom and wide on top

368 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9240 01:31

I GOT SOME EAR PAIN
AND NOW I CAN'T FEEL A GOOD
HALF OF MY DAMN FACE

369 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9247 04:06

The sound of George Washington's bell
Rings of the impermanence of populous British colonies

370 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9266 03:45

Once upon a midnight dreary, as I rolled, weak and wary,
over many a minimum roll and spooks of heroes of lore,
While I nodded, nearly crying, suddenly there came a sparking,
a gold picture of one casting, a Caster at the gacha's door
"'tis Merlin" I muttered, "Merlin at my Chaldea's door -only him and nothing more"
Quoth the gacha, "Helena"

371 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9283 02:02

sheltered existence's
selfish insistences
tenko's rampage
can't be assuaged
BURMA SHAVE

372 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9294 11:11

see these nuts see these balls
see this dick
hit these walls

373 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9294 23:26

Let me put a poem, all across the land
It's about a guy whos in a band
He toots all day that much is true
But boy can he play that horb.

Hello sir im horny for boys
fuk u mate imhorny for ploys

374 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9309 05:34

Oompa Loompa doopity doo
Hitlers gassing millions of jews

375 Name: poetry criticist : 1993-09-9309 05:55

>>374
Umm, excuse me, but many more Soviet civilians died in WW2, even if USSR nor its successor states didn't play the furnaces of holocaust card.

376 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9309 06:08

>>375
Well there was probably far worse shit going on within the timeframe of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory than some kids being idiots, but they didn't sing songs about that, did they. Ergo, all Oompa Loompa whataboutism is futile.

377 Name: poetry criticist, philosophy contemplationist : 1993-09-9309 06:32

>>376
On the moral compass, I wonder what was more wrong: Willy Wonka's Oompa Loompa forced labour and exploitation or the cruel and unusual torture of the nasty kids, to which their parents or, otherwise, legal guardians didn't agree.

378 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9311 03:14

>>372
to the tune of barney's "i love you"

379 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9311 23:54

I have cancelled
the ticket
for the lady superhero movie

and which
i wanted to
trash
on the review website

Forgive me
my masculinity
is so toxic
and so fragile

380 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9312 06:14

>>379
Fifty cents have
been deposited
in your account

381 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9324 06:06

Sweet dreams are made of cheese.
Who am I to dis a brie?

382 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9356 15:14

(boot me up) IT'S INTEL INSIDE
(shut me down) UPDATE IS REQUIRED
(SAVE ME) SAVE YOUR FILES and R E S T A R T Y O U R P C

383 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9357 21:15

good lord above make known your presence
on this the day of your palm tree celebration
would that I could wield not palms but pompoms
that I might be a cheerleader for the Lord

384 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9402 18:30

the ice we skate
is getting pretty thin
so now you want to date
but you didn't want me then

385 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9402 20:51

my world's on fire
how 'bout yours
my brain's being fried
and we're living in holes

386 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9404 15:04

My son is dead
Shot in the head
Pierced by lead
He bled and bled.

387 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9420 17:59

a milkshake cup falls
cardboard joining with plastic
trash strews on our street

388 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9420 21:33

I can't sit around.
This eternal September,
Find things distasteful.

389 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9422 03:39

A naked hobo
with chronic diarrhea,
running down the street.

390 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9430 23:38

Insist on plural pronouns
Without a plural name.
"But you used it for 'someone'!"
No, that's not the same.

391 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9431 16:22

spivaks are the way
why say they when ey
eir eirs can ease parlay
pronouns are here to stay

392 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9532 16:35

Eternal September!
Shitty threads awash in ire dance into the soul. (ji amari)

393 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9535 20:38

"Oi used t' thynk that Oi could not go ohn
And loife was no thyng but an awful sohng"
--Shakespeare, thinking it was the start of a sonnet

394 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9536 02:56

808s in the distance
I kill a noob
I shoot a noob
I con a noob
I sell a noob
snare fill
I hate a noob
I fuck a noob
I eat a noob
I shit a noob

395 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9562 19:57

Tale as old as time,
Skin as green as lime,
Smells like stale old wine, can't you read the sign?
Get out of my swamp

396 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9602 13:43

can't stand liars
people who yell
people who pull rank

in short, my parents

397 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9637 18:54

I wearily watched
The world weaponize

398 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9640 09:19

Roses are red
Oatses make gruel
What about it
Daddycool

399 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9686 20:57

easy breezy
lazy beamy

400 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9691 08:47

Republicans are the scummiest
Like no one ever was
Steal election's their real test
And power is their cause

They will travel across the land
Looting far and wide
Build super PACS, and then command
The money that's inside

REPUBLICANS!
(Gotta vote 'em out!)
Together you and me
Don't want a plutocracy
REPUBLICANS!
Oooh they're no one's friend
Except the rich, whom they defend

REPUBLICANS!
(Gotta vote 'em out!)
Their heart so cruel
Dark money may pull 'em through
You pay them and they'll serve you
REPUBLICANS!
Gotta vote 'em out!
Gotta vote 'em out!

Yeah!

Each election along the way
Smear campaigns we will face
They're on Fox News every day
Spewing hate from their safe space

They're mostly rich men who are white
To them there's no better genes
Voter suppression is how they fight
For their fascist regime

REPUBLICANS!
(Gotta vote 'em out!)
Together you and me
They're full of hypocrisy
REPUBLICANS!
Oooh their knee will bend
For the rich whom they defend

REPUBLICANS!
(Gotta vote 'em out!)
Their heart so cruel
Tribalism's what pulls 'em through
Not with them and they'll purge you
REPUBLICANS!
Gotta vote 'em out!
Gotta VOTE 'em out!

Gotta vote 'em out!
Gotta vote 'em out!
Gotta vote 'em out!

Yeaah!

REPUBLICANS!
(Gotta vote 'em out!)
They hate minorities
They're caging child refugees
REPUBLICANS!
Oooh you must understand
They're authoritarians

REPUBLICANS!
(Gotta vote 'em out!)
If you're poor, you're screwed
Insurance may not cover you
If you croak it's thanks to whom?
REPUBLICANS!
Gotta vote 'em out!
Gotta VOTE 'em out!

REPUBLICANS!

401 Name: five daily prayers brother : 1993-09-9691 12:41

鳥目
至りも 仇バレ 鳥目
雨の 雨の 拉致レー
拉致レーも 鳥目

402 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9806 10:55

The golden mean
Must yet be seen
Some do prize
The average size
If moderation
Is your wave
You have friends at
Burma-Shave®

403 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9809 20:06

Nerd Porn Auteur
by Ernest Cline

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
Men who like their women stupid and submissive
Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos
with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
liposuctioned women
Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.
I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:
Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world
is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework,
and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
for hours and hours
until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Summa cum laude, baby!
That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?
No.
Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.
I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.
And the women in my porno movies will be the kind
that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.
The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.
Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.
Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses
and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.
My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.
In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies
because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
of all sexual orientations.
Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."
This idea is a fucking gold mine.
I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers
and electronics engineers
and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful. . .
And I will make you a star.

404 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9835 03:46

government didn't renew
my letters of marque, they rigged it
now what am i gonna do
to fly my friggen frigate

405 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9871 04:53

So here I yam
Doin' everything I can
Holdin' on to what I yam
Pretandin' I'm a sailor man

406 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9871 06:58

Roses are red
That much is true
But violets are violet,
you cretin, not blue.

407 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9885 15:55

If I ruled the world, my cock would be long
and I'd rock a LAN party in an edible thong
I'd meet a genie and he'd give me three wishes
motherfucker, they're all about PENISES

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