[British]Post British stereotypes[cruel] (115)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6201 23:44

( ゚ -゚) Come on ya bloody wankers!

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6202 07:01

>>1 is is traditionally made from pig's heart, liver and fatty belly meat or bacon minced together, with herbs added for flavouring and sometimes breadcrumbs. The mixture is shaped in the hand into balls, wrapped round with caul fat (the omentum membrane from the pig's abdomen), and baked. A similar dish, almôndega, is traditional in Portugal.

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6202 12:42

I see what >>2 did there.

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6202 14:21

>>3 can't cook.

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6202 15:06

>>4 has bad teeth.

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6202 16:35

>>5 has an indecipherable accent

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6202 19:47

>>6 is really British

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6202 19:51

>>7 pays a television tax.

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6202 21:57

>>8 is banned from purchasing kitchen utensils.

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6202 23:09

Come on ya bloody wankers! is more Australian thab British

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6203 01:06

>>10 likes getting into huge fights at football matches.

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6203 05:15

>>11 eats Irish children

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6203 07:00

( ゚ -゚) Formin' queues for no bloo'y reason, just like >>2-9,11-12 did!

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6203 08:27

( ゚ -゚) We joined the fuck’eads in P--nix (with an œ, mind you) in eR------k just so we wouldn’t ’ave to be on the same side as the Americans, Canadians, Australians, Irish, Indians, South Africans, and any other Anglospheric types.

( ゚ -゚) We ’ate you all. It’s our language, tossers.

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6203 11:02

>>14
Revealed he was a Brit because that was too realistic to be a joke.

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6203 11:11

( ゚ -゚) Just reciting video game history, ma’am.

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6203 13:38

most of these are english stereotypes rather than british.

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6203 19:26

( ゚ -゚) We occupied the surroundin’ countries and made ’em use our language, BECAUSE WE COULD.

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6204 01:23

LET'S EAT BEANS AND TOAST

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6204 03:23

>>19 pronounces z as "zed."

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6204 13:11

>>20 Makes cars that leak oil and have electrical failures like no other cars on the road.

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6204 14:57

>>21 is still blaming Margaret Thatcher for his own unwillingness to get out of bed before noon and get a job instead of drinking White Ace cider all day and beating his pregnant, chain-smoking girlfriend.

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6204 15:34

>>22 is a socialist twat who's still pissed at Margaret Thatcher for bringing the economy back to life when it was so close to collapsing altogether.

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6204 16:58

>>23 Thinks about Margret Thatcher naked on a cold day when he gets an erection at an inconvenient time.

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6204 18:03

( ゚ -゚) The BNP speaks for me, but I still vote Labour.

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6205 14:57

( ゚ -゚) I wish the government would install CCTV in my toilet, I don't feel safe going in there alone.

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6206 00:38

>>26 spray-paints AA art in the London sewers.

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6206 01:21

>>27 Isn't homosexual, but likes smoking fags.

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6206 01:37

So hang on, now, are we talking about the previous poster, or are we not? Because this thread is right bloody confusing, as it is.

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6206 03:36

( ゚ -゚) when overly drunk like 30% of my countrymen (well, at least it's not as bad as the russians or the irishers!), i speak in the unintelligible manner of ma 'ome village in some shire neither of which you've prolly ever 'eard about if you din't go to school 'ere, wotwot.

( ゚ -゚) well, school back when. it's all dumbed down now.

(gor blimey, it is not about the previous poster, guv'nor!)

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6206 05:51

      ,,,...... . . ----------- .....,,,,
      /――r''''"~~~「 r'''' @_@ ̄ ̄~`;、  I drive this old Mini because I'm still mad at the Japanese for killing the British auto industry.
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  {,,r=、,   i       :,       (::::)r;:=====i、.,;!   ブロロロロ
  ;!,r=、i:!   :       ,:'"三ミ:、    ,','(::):;:;:;:;:;:;:;(::):|
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  iヾノ:;;リ  ̄~~~`'''''―' :;|  リ;;;;;!二二..,,,,,,,,:!---',,;:;:;!
   '''''"          ヾニ"::ノ        ''''''''"

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6206 16:08

( ゚ -゚) I'm so British I shit the queen

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6206 16:17

( ゚ -゚) cor blimey mutton bloody whats all this then toodle pips

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6228 23:18

>>33 Takes a vacation, and then gets sunburned until he is as red as a beet.

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6229 06:10

As a Scot, I love this thread because you're only making fun of the English, and I hate this thread because you're only making fun of the English.

36 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6229 17:30

>>35 Fine, ya dress wearing pansy!

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6230 19:39

i often wonder if i'd be offended if someone insulted me for being scottish

38 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6231 20:20

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6231 20:34

( ゚ -゚) I speak the only Bri'ish accent, ya schupid Yank. All the other ones are fake and can go sod off.

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6231 20:41

>>37 hoots mon the noo haggis breeks

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6232 00:01

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.

42 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6233 16:44

>>41 Give it a rest, you hack.

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6234 00:34

Programs "Games Yanks Can't Wank"

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6234 15:38

>>37 All Scottish food is based on a dare.

45 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6234 19:29

>>44 hehe that's pretty funny, doesn't offend me no though. I think it's kinda like Renton's speech in Trainspotting, we ken how shit we are so we don't really take offence.

Anyone fancy a deep-fried pizza?

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6235 02:08

>>45 is a manky Scots git.

47 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6235 02:39

>>45 y'know, as a Scot, it only really upsets me that we were a fundamental part of the KKK.

Other than that, I think we have a pretty fucking cool ancestry. On one hand we were fucking batshit badass warriors, on the other really fucking intelligent businessmen.

48 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6235 11:02

>>47 The only thing Scottish about the KKK is the high number of people of scottish descent in southern US at the time. I heard that too but sources seem to debunk it

I agree though, I'm a fucking batshit badass warrior AND a really fucking intelligent businessman.

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6236 12:38

#14 Stealing words from other languages and and making a dialect out of it does not make it your own. British English is just as much of a clusterfuck as any other form of English.

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6238 21:51

Knows all about dead parrots

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6247 09:38

>>50 became so famous in Japan from dancing to anime videos on Youtube that he released a single over there.

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6247 09:46

Let me tell you. BIG PENIS. Penis cockin'.

53 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6247 11:49

I once had sex with a 41 year old mother of two. She was Welsh and ginger.

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6247 19:50

>>53

Are you a sheep?

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6247 23:53

>>54 Nah I jusht woke up

56 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6249 18:41

Ma name's Duncan Campbell fae the shire o Argyll
A've traivellt this country for mony's the mile
A've traivellt thro Irelan, Scotlan an aa
An the name A go under's bauld Erin-go-Bragh

Ae nicht in Auld Reekie A walked doun the street
Whan a saucy big polis A chanced for tae meet
He glowert in ma face an he gied me some jaw
Sayin whan cam ye owre, bauld Erin-go-Bragh?

Well, A am not a Pat tho in Irelan A've been
Nor am A a Paddy tho Irelan A've seen
But were A a Paddy, that's nothin at aa
For thair's mony's a bauld hero in Erin-go-Bragh

Well A know ye're a Pat by the cut o yer hair
Bit ye aa turn tae Scotsmen as sune as ye're here
Ye left yer ain countrie for brakin the law
An we're seizin aa stragglers fae Erin-go-Bragh

An were A a Pat an ye knew it wis true
Or wis A the devil, then whit's that tae you?
Were it no for the stick that ye haud in yer paw
A'd show ye a game played in Erin-go-Bragh

An a lump o blackthorn that A held in ma fist
Aroun his big bodie A made it tae twist
An the blude fae his napper A quickly did draw
An paid him stock-an-interest for Erin-go-Bragh

Bit the people cam roun like a flock o wild geese
Sayin catch that daft rascal he's killt the police
An for every freen A had A'm shair he had twa
It wis terrible hard times for Erin-go-Bragh

Bit A cam tae a wee boat that sails in the Forth
An A packed up ma gear an A steered for the North
Fareweill tae Auld Reekie, yer polis an aa
An the devil gang wi ye says Erin-go-Bragh

Sae come aa ye young people, whairever ye're from
A don't give a damn tae whit place ye belang
A come fae Argyll in the Heilans sae braw
Bit A ne'er took it ill bein caad Erin-go-Bragh

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6253 20:50

I just had a wank.

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6253 21:38

penis

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6644 17:21

>The Prime Minister was captured by ruffians. >>58 is a righteous enough bloke to rescue the Prime Minister.

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6645 01:33

>>55 ba dum tss!

61 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6646 02:25

>>60's national dishes include "faggots" and "spotted dick".

62 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6646 12:23

>>61 That would be England.

63 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6831 15:14

This thread is racist.

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6831 17:40

>>63 Is a Chav.

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6834 22:14

>>64 Can go to all kinds of clubs in London to get high on bath salts

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6834 23:08

>>65 hates gingers.

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6835 19:40

>>66 believes everything he reads in the Daily Mail, and regularly writes complaint letters to the council about his immigrant neighbours.

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6848 00:19

>>67 Is waiting in an extremely long line at an NHS hospital, while making fun of the yank's medical system.

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6848 04:26

>>68 drinks five pints of ale a night after work with a side of fish and chips while watching football at the pub.

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6848 07:07

>>69 was arrested for owning an obscene comic book. Strangely, no arrests were made at the Burn Britain to the Ground for Islam rally.

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6864 21:34

>>70 contracted swine flu from his university professor, and spent his recuperation period making fun of the pandemic-related media hysteria.

72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6864 22:04

>>71 was arrested and placed under Anti-Social Behavior Order because he was seen on a surveillance camera writing "Prime Minister Cameron is a wanker" on a wall in a back alley.

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6864 22:19

>>72 felt guilty for spelling "Behavior" without a "u".

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6864 23:34

>>73 wonders why almost every nation decided to drive on the wrong side of the road, and sees it as a sign of others not understanding Britain's obvious superiority.

75 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6864 23:39

>>74 cheered at today's Trooping of the Colours, despite considering the royal family a bunch of useless leeches.

76 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6865 11:44

>>75 went to Beachy Head today for his weekly pub lunch and the possibility of getting to watch a suicide jumper.

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6941 20:19


     | \
     |Д`)   No one is here.
     |⊂     I can dance now !
     |

     ♪  ☆
   ♪   / \    God save our gracious Queen!
      ヽ(´Д`;)ノ   Long live our noble Queen!
         (  へ)    God save The Queen!
          く       

   ♪    ☆
     ♪ / \   Send her victorious!
      ヽ(;´Д`)ノ  Happy and glorious!
         (へ  )    Long to reign over us!
             >    God save The Queen!

78 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7898 13:56

>>77 uses an alphabet containing the letters "haitch" and "zed".

79 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7900 00:30

>>78 Understands politics, thanks to Sir Humphrey Appleby.

80 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7900 11:14

>>79 is a right cheeky cunt ill hook in the gabber, I swer on me mum

81 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7900 14:17

>>80 punched Piers Morgan on multiple occasions.

82 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7904 00:37

>>81 reads the newspapers that spread rumors of celebrity sex lives.

83 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7904 10:23

>>82 spends his days admiring grandmother's china. Sometimes he ponders if he should take up rambling.

84 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7904 23:37

>>83 Inspired people to add Yakety Sax to chase scenes.

85 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7917 09:10

>>84 swears by the existence of the loch ness monster.

86 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7928 17:45

>>85 Likes to cross Abbey Road with 3 of his best friends.

87 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7928 22:39

>>86 has invaded all but 22 countries, although some of the ‘invasions’ were kind of bullshit, like that thing with Switzerland in the 1300s.

88 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7929 19:14

>>87 is checkin' me dubs.

89 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7930 05:52

>>88 overcooks his vegetables until they turn into a sad unidentifiable puddle of olive-drab glop.

90 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7930 17:44

>>89
I'd drive 18 furlongs in my motorized rollingham to have a just a fluid scruple of vegetable ollyboggle like me mum used to make

91 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7930 21:49

>>90 drinks his beer warm, and likes it that way.

92 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7931 01:25

>>91
not only never seen a toothbrush, but has a deep psychological fear of them

93 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7932 12:01

>>92 talks like a pikey, but isn't

94 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7932 19:34

>>93 is married to his sister

95 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7935 13:31

>>94
Complains about any and every other country's nationalism; will knock you the fook out if you say a word agin' the Queen, swer on me life

96 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7935 17:32

Me boat when ah've no boat

97 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7941 21:19

>>96 Lives on Bell End street.

98 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7942 12:34

>>97 leaves everyone unable to recall whether his name is Iva Mill from Biggin Hill or Iva Biggin from Mill Hill.

99 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7942 13:37

>>98 loves the joke about the police constable who lives at 999 Letsby Avenue

100 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7943 14:43

Scotland Yard is searching for >>99

101 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10528 10:47

>>101 probably has a name like "Andrew"

102 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10528 15:46

>>101 can't count - probably a leftover of using the imperial system

103 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10588 11:19

>>102 Reads comic books from Viz, not translated manga.

104 Name: vc: woy : 1993-09-10588 12:56

>>103
Rages at players and fans of sports that are not soccer, and holds deep rage towards other codes of football

105 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10590 08:18

>>104 uses a Union Jack to wank his wonky willy

106 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10590 10:04

>>105 plays soggy biscuit on the weekend with his mates

107 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10590 12:13

>>106 started an annual international soggy biscuit competition but always loses to the rest of the world

108 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10590 20:04

>>107 knows every word to Charles Penrose's 'The Laughing Policeman'

109 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10590 21:06

>>108
Campaigns to get cricket into public schools

110 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10591 00:37

>>109 rages about Thatcher, 32 years later

111 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10593 02:07

>>110 collects Wisden and Non-league club directory annuals

112 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10593 08:40

>>111's head looks uncannily like London Planetarium

113 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10595 17:06

>>112 loves a tory MP from Bishop Auckland

114 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10596 06:13

>>113 cant believe Americans eat whatever as he shovels down Jellied Eels and washes it down with Dandelion and Burdock

115 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10599 14:02

>>114 Has a Dr. Who telephone booth.

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