ITT the Previous Poster is Unfathomably Weak (216)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 04:21

>>0 gets beat up by Richard Simmons.

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 04:49

>>1 once politely asked his own shadow to stop following him.

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 10:02

>>2 once tripped over a light breeze.

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 10:37

>>3's puny fists could not cause his mouse button to budge, so he had to ask his mommy to come click 'Reply' for him.

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 10:39

>>4 has legs like Pocky sticks.

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 13:03

>>5 tried to smear some butter on a slice of toast this morning, but as it had spent the night in the fridge instead of on the counter, he broke his wrist and splintered his ulna instead.

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 14:00

>>6 chipped his tooth on a ripe banana.

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 14:35

>>7 regularly gets beaten up for his lunch by silverfish.

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 17:43

>>8 is responsible for this thread, which is the weakest DQN has seen in quite a while.

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 18:35

>>9 typed that on his custom keyboard with hair-trigger weighted keys.

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 23:08

>>10 has a policy of pre-emptive surrender.

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6294 23:38

These aren't the droids that >>11 is looking for.

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 00:14

>>12 Appeared as a guest star in Axis Power Hetalia. Italy killed him by complete accident

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 01:43

>>13 is actually Niccolo Machiavelli, history's most prolific armchair general.

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 11:25

>>14 would like to read Machiavelli, but the pages are too heavy to turn. He tried reading it on an e-book reader, but could not press the page flip buttons either.

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 15:18

>>15 can't fly a model airplane without needing a barf bag.

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 16:26

>>16 died when he accidentally turned his car stereo's volume up too high.

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 17:36

>>17 passed out when he got his first erection.

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 18:18

>>18's left ulna once shattered under its own weight.

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 20:21

The kids call >>19 "Mr. Glass."

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 21:05

>>20 prefers the Text Art formatting because it makes the letters look less heavy.

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 23:12

A Kit-Kat bar is too crunchy for >>21 to chew.

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 23:20

>>22 requires surgery every time he breaks wind

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 11:00

>>23 has twice received severe concussions from blobs of pigeon excrement.

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 17:57

>>24 suffered a hip fracture when caressed by a gentle spring breeze.

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 19:26

>>25 cannot dive more than 3 feet below the water surface before the water pressure crushes his ribcage.

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 19:51

>>26 is seriously bruised up by the process of putting on underpants, but otherwise his junk would just swing a little too far and rip away from his body entirely.

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6297 00:01

>>27 once tried to masturbate, but his arm got tired after the third stroke.

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6297 01:05

>>28 would be propelled backwards by the force of his own ejaculation, if he ever got around to achieving that of course.

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6297 03:49

>>29 tore right through his foreskin on the first jerk.

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6297 10:45

When >>30 builds a sand castle, he has to lift the sand one grain at a time.

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6297 10:53

>>31 Tried to play a guitar once but the strings cut off his fingers.

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6297 23:21

>>32 took one sip of cold beer, and had to be rushed to the hospital to be treated for alcohol poisoning and hypothermia simultaneously.

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6298 06:29

>>33 cries when threads are derailed.

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6298 10:58

>>34 tried to derail a thread once, but the passengers felt only the slightest of bumps as it ran over his miniscule e-peen, snapping it like a twig.

36 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 05:47

>>35's unobtrusive, soft-spoken attempt to rob a convenience store got him laughed out by the clerk and everyone in line.

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 06:46

>>36
would pee sitting down if the toilet seat were softer

38 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 07:11

If >>37 doesn't take a whiz every five minutes, his bladder ruptures from the pressure.

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 17:46

Every time >>38 takes a whiz, the water pressure strips a layer off his urethra.

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 17:56

>>39 aspires to be as physically incompetent as Stephen Hawking, because then he would not even have to wipe his own ass.

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 20:14

>>40 gets beat up by Gene Simmons.

42 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6299 23:46

>>41 barely manages to beat up pudding

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6300 02:28

>>42 suffocated on second hand smoke

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6300 04:16

>>43 burned his mouth while sipping orange juice.

45 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6300 18:10

>>44 ordered a steamed carrot in a fancy restaurant but it was too spicy for him

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6300 18:18

>>45 gets staggeringly drunk on tap water.

47 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6300 20:54

>>46 cracked an egg and the shell cut him up so bad, that he has scars on his hands for the rest of his life.

48 Name: ( ˃ ˂)!dWFvipper. : 1993-09-6300 22:45

Being able to crack an egg is >>47's lifelong dream.

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6301 00:43

An egg fell on >>48. He was crushed to death. The egg was undamaged.

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6301 01:30

>>49 Gets covered in bruises when the rain falls on him.

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6301 08:23

>>50's face fell to shreds when his cat licked it.

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6301 18:14

>>51 once attempted to pluck a chicken. His hand tore off at the wrist, still grasping the first feather.

53 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 15:32

>>52 cannot stand up wearing more than one layer of clothing.

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 16:15

>>53 needs months of steroid injections in order to gain the strength to make his own bed.

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 22:23

>>54 Has serious difficulties in 2 story and taller buildings.
He doesn't have enough muscle to climb 1 flight of stairs, and blacks out due to acceleration when he uses the elevator or the escalator.

56 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 22:32

Smilarly, when >>55 stands up, he immediately gets altitude sickness, and the force of the resulting projectile vomit is enough to send him into a triple backflip.

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6304 02:59

>>56 is being crushed by the pressure of the atmosphere.

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6304 07:43

MAGIKARP used SPLASH! >>57 fainted!

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6304 08:25

>>58 dearly wished to employ the PokéWalker, but was unable to take a single step under its burden.

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6304 11:49

>>59 can only use ghost Pokémon. Anything else would result in impacted shins.

61 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6305 00:44

When >>60 rides a bicycle, the bike pedals HIM!

62 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6305 01:17

>>61 is the lead singer in Finnish "love metal" band HIM.

63 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6305 18:24

>>62 tried to sing once, but the vibrations tore up his larynx.

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6305 21:30

>>63 tried to beat up a wet paper bag, but drowned.

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 00:51

>>64 will suffocate if he is within 1 mile of kimchi

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 19:31

>>65 Has a house with automatic opening doors that are also found in food stores. He has them because if he had to open doors the old fashioned way, or had to push a button, he would never be able to enter or exit his house.

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 20:10

>>66's heat signature is so weak that he cannot open >>65's door.

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 20:16

>>67 jaws were sealed shut forever after trying to chew gum.

(also automatic sliding doors do not work that way)

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 22:02

>>68 was crushed and horribly maimed by an automatic sliding door, ironically enough.

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 22:49

>>69 was crushed by the irony of his own existence.

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 23:58

>>70 Can't shit without making his anus bleed.

72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 00:50

>>71 got sucked into the toilet when he flushed it

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 01:28

>>72 got sucked into the toilet without flushing it.

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 01:28

>>72 got sucked into the toilet without flushing it.

75 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 01:59

>>72 got sucked into the toilet. flushing it.

76 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 03:31

>>74 and >>75 are mentally feeble.

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 09:10

>>76 couldn't justify the Brobdingnagian effort of typing out a post to insult just one person.

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 23:29

>>77 nearly died from fatigue after spelling out "Brobdingnagian" on his keyboard

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 23:34

>>78 got fired from his job at the chip shop after 1 day because he couldn't batter a fish.

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 10:06

>>79 was rushed to hospital after visiting >>78's chip shop because the floor was quite hard.

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 10:43

>>80 on the other hand was rushed to the same hospital because of 3rd degree burns from the mild warmth inside >>78's chip shop. No, >>80 didn't walk into the shop, >>80 was carried into the shop by their pet squirrel, while bruising all over because of the grip before the "heat" got to them.

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 12:15

>>81 asphyxiated while trying to read his post out loud in a single breath.

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 13:54

>>82 also did that.

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 14:41

>>83 died from the mental effort of imagining a weaker method of dying.

85 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 20:00

>>84 faints from the heat regularly because he can't unzip his jacket

86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 23:05

>>85 died from Dave's Syndrome about 25 seconds after submitting his reply.

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 23:26

(@ิ֥ิ) >>86 has terminal bonitis.

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 02:04

>>87 broke his neck when a fly landed on it.

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 18:24

>>88 will drown if the atmosphere is more than .01% humid.

90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 19:22

>>89 popped all his zits at once by briefly holding his breath. Then his chest ruptured.

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 21:11

>>90 popped a zit once and required an emergency blood transfusion afterwards.

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 21:12

>>90's zit-popping shenanigans left >>91 permanently deaf

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6312 02:39

>>92 was bitten by an ant and passed out from the pain.

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6312 15:40

>>93 tried to eat grapefruit once, but when he stuck the spoon in, juice sprayed into his eyes. It nearly blinded him.

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6312 15:43

>>93 tried to eat grapefruit once, but when he stuck the spoon in, juice sprayed into his eyes. It blinded him.

96 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6312 16:29

>>95 tried to eat grapefruit once, but couldn't manage to stick the spoon in.

97 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6312 17:21

>>96 licked a grapefruit once, but it was just too sour for him, so he gave it to someone else. However, they didn't want it since >>96 licked it, so it went in the bin.

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6312 18:01

>>97 caught glandular fever from looking at >>96's saliva.

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6312 18:32

>>98 couldn't lift the spoon.

100 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6315 01:45

>>99 was unable to press the enter key to post his reply which would have been a 100 get

101 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6315 03:46

>>100 is so shy and timid he's afraid of bumping threads, nonetheless ones in which he obtains landmark GETs.

102 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6315 19:10

>>101 tried to bump a thread, but it wouldn't budge and he got the most terrible muscle ache.

103 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 03:20

>>102 cracked his shoulderblade bumping a thread.

104 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 13:47

>>103 tried to SAGE a thread, but it wouldn't go down. It took him several hours to do it because in order to type, he had to lift multiple 100 Mg weights in order to make a keyboard key go down to type. >>103 also sweat until he was dehydrated and passed oyt from exhaustion. He didn't wake up for 3 days.

105 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6357 16:34

>>104 cracked his ribs and burst his gallbladder during a bad case of hiccups.

106 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6357 16:45

>>105 had to type so hard to write this that his moustache fell off

107 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6357 17:32

>>106 face is all saggy and limp because when he hit puberty and started growing a little bit of facial hair it pulled his face down greatly

108 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6357 17:34

>>107 broke his jaw on a grape.

109 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6359 23:24

>>108 broke several teeth the last time he ate Jell-o.

110 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6364 09:33

>>111
WAS CRUSHED BY MY BOULDER-LIKE FIST

111 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6364 09:58

>>110 had to use an exoskeleton with an attached fist-shaped boulder...
BUT IT FAILED.

112 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6364 18:20

>>111 couldn't even defeat a Magikarp.

113 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6364 23:46

>>112 Died from watching Hokuto No Ken. He really was WA SHOCK

114 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6365 02:08

>>113 cried during CLANNAD before he was even done watching the opening of the first episode.

115 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6365 04:00

>>110 couldn't even stop the text describing his own weakness from slipping down the screen.
">>110 couldn't even stop the text describing his own weakness from slipping down the screen." fell on >>114's head and crushed him to death. Needles to say, he died.

116 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6365 04:02

>>115 meant >>109 and died from embarrassment.

117 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6372 19:28

>>116 broke his ulna by trying to push his hand into a mitten.

118 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6373 00:04

>>117 broke his spine when he was coughing.

119 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6378 17:49

>>118 's innards exploded after he ate 1 bean and farted.

120 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 01:30

>>119 Tried brushing his teeth once, but the toothbrush knocked out all his teeth.

121 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 02:43

>>120 used a waterpick once, and it bored straight through his teeth and the back of his throat on the first pulse.

122 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6380 10:31

One day >>121 stumbled over the doorstep and spent a weekend in the intensive care.

123 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 14:32

Last night >>122 walked into a bar--and died from the impact.

124 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 16:16

Last night >>123 walked into a bar and instantly fell over drunk from the mere smell of alcohol.

125 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 16:58

>>124 went to a party and immediately fainted from overstimulation.

126 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6381 18:16

>>125 barely survives required daily physiotherapy.

127 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 20:17

>>126 gets horrible train-wreck comedowns from chocolate

128 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 23:57

>>127 tried to eat chips with salsa that contained just a tiny bit of chopped jalapeno pepper, and burst into flames.

129 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6382 00:00

>>128 tried to eat chips plain. His teeth shattered and his mouth was badly lacerated.

130 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6382 10:55

>>129 tried to pick up crumbs left after >>128's demise, but couldn't even achieve this!

131 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6382 23:44

>>130 got in a fight and he didn't win

132 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 02:30

>>131 almost got in a fight but the suspense gave him a heart attack.

133 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 11:15

>>132 fought the law and the law won.

134 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6383 12:51

>>133's head exploded when he tried to watch Hokuto no Ken.

135 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 20:23

If >>134 was a liquid and you mixed 9 parts of him with 1 part water, you would only taste water.

136 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 21:19

>>135 is confusing weakness with tastelessness.

This is >>135's weakness.

137 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 21:52

>>136 is weakly flavoured.

138 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 00:23

>>137 tastes like lemons on Sundays. Because he is weekly flavored. (yes, I know, juvenile puns are MY weakness)

139 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 01:47

>>138 Tried playing Mega Man 2 but can't defeat Air Man.

140 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 04:36

>>139 was rendered unconscious by a light breeze

141 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 04:29

>>140 was carried off by a light breeze

142 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 13:24

>>141 was carried off by >>140.

143 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 14:52

>>142 was carried out and was w

144 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6391 14:52

>>142 had to use hydraulic power typing assist to write his words.

145 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 15:25

>>143 and >>144 stumbled into each other in the hallway and collapsed into a pile of torn up, bloody body parts.

146 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 19:30

Upon seeing that, >>145 vomited so energetically that he prolapsed his stomach right out his mouth.

147 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 20:02

>>146 went into shock as the faint smell of >>145 and >>144's mishap wafted into his apartment, three floors down.

148 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 22:03

>>147 suffered cardiac arrest at the sound of >>146's prone body gently alighting on the soft, carpeted floor.

149 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6392 20:31

>>148 died from the pressure of seeing 147 prior posts atop his.

150 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6392 20:57

>>149 dropped his pencil and nailed his foot to the floor with it.

151 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6392 22:46

>>150 tried to type "150GET" but died from the excitement.

152 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6400 21:04

>>151 can't get a full erection, because he would black out due to blood being taken from his brain.

153 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6400 22:29

>>152's blood pressure is so low that when he gets a cut, the wound inhales.

154 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6401 00:39

>>153 almost had a heart attack when he noticed his ban in [ITT]We ban the person who posted before[Moderation] thread.

155 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6401 00:46

>>154 tears the skin off his penis whenever he tries to masturbate to Espeon porn.

156 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6401 01:54

>>155 died because of terminal gettodge

157 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6402 08:29

>>156 has to breathe into a paper bag if Sailor Moon comes on

158 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6402 15:45

>>157's body tears asunder more easily than said paper bag.

159 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6402 16:50

>>158 failed to fight his way out of a paper bag. Also, doesn't Sailor Moon have that effect on everyone? :3

160 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6402 22:19

>>159 had to be carried to bed when his cousin gave him a friendly pat on the back.

161 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6404 07:18

>>160
Was already in the bed dying of aids. The two tried to make love afterwords but were unable to penetrate eachother's butts.

162 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6404 10:21

>>161 has terminal bonitis.

163 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6404 11:46

>>162 was ripped apart at an atomic level when he felt the minuscule rumblings of an earthquake on the other side of the world.

164 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6404 14:16

>>163 drowned in a wet paper bag.

165 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6404 18:02

>>164 drowned in a dry paper bag.

166 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6404 21:12

>>165's nickname is "Flower"

167 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6406 02:59

>>166 is a flower. Its subtle, alluring beauty and delicate contour has left me feeling vaguely content with life.

168 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6406 05:58

>>167's puny heart struggles to pump sufficient oxygen to his brain, leaving him too feeble-minded to understand the concept of this thread.

169 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6406 09:59

>>168 couldn't do anything himself, but ended up as a famous theoretical physicist.

170 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6406 11:21

>>169 tried to become a theoretical physicist but met his demise in a freak accident involving a perfectly tight frictionless piston, a massless frictionless chain, and a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion.

171 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6406 11:37

Actually, it was a result of suffocation in imaginary vacuum.

>>170 accidentally scraped his knee; now he is terminally ill because of sepsis.

172 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6406 19:50

>>171 got slammed into the bathroom wall when he popped a zit.

173 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6410 05:35

>>172
Got knocked out after being flogged by a warm lettuce leaf.

174 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6410 19:04

>>173 died from hypothermia after warming a lettuce leaf on his bare skin.

175 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6607 23:03

>>174 A grain of sand in >>174's hand feels like carrying the rock of Gibraltar in an ordinary person's hand.

176 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6608 04:08

>>175's power level is negative.

177 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6608 07:55

>>176 was stuffed into the Golden Throne by mistake.

178 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6614 07:38

>>177 nega dildos

179 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7212 22:54

>>178 once passed out from blinking too hard.

180 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7212 23:59

>>179 has to be strapped to toy balloons to stand.

181 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7213 03:18

>>180 Suffered from G-Loc while flying a paper airplane

182 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7213 17:33

>>181 was brutally beaten to a pulp by Cirno.

183 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7214 02:22

>>182 When he had a tiny amount of static electricity and touched something metal, he looked like a man in an electric chair. He also exploded into flames.

184 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7214 04:39

>>183 experienced YASD.

185 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7214 20:40

>>184's hand was crushed to a bloody pulp when a butterfly alighted on it.

186 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7215 07:57

Insulin syringe went through >>185 arm and broke the bone.

187 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7215 14:49

>>186 suffered severe radiation poisoning after being exposed to an unpeeled banana.

188 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7215 20:58

>>187 is engulfed in flames in direct sunlight.

189 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7216 00:04

>>188's attempt to smoke a single cigarette caused his lungs to implode.

190 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7216 15:21

>>189's spine was broken in 7 places when a shiver ran down it.

191 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7216 15:52

>>190 required a blood transfusion after drinking a can of coke.

192 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7216 17:09

One of >>191's eyelashes fell out and he passed out from the pain.

193 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7216 21:39

>>192 broke every bone in his fingers when he attempted to crack his knuckles.

194 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7216 23:00

>>193 was crushed to death by atmospheric pressure.

195 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7218 00:00

>>194 was crushed to death by his awareness of his own mortality.

196 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7218 00:22

>>195 is instantly dehydrated whenever he spits on the ground or cries.

197 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7219 00:07

>>196 lost a fight against a moth.

198 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7219 08:52

>>197 suffered chemical burns after being sprinkled with a water.

199 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7219 09:29

>>198 was permanently deafened at birth by his own crying.

200 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7219 22:17

>>199 died of cardiac arrest when he saw a football rolling towards him.

201 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7219 23:50

>>200 accidentally choked to death on a delocalised electron.

202 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7219 23:52

>>201 went outside for a walk in the sun and overdosed on Vitamin D.

203 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 00:57

>>202 ate a single honey roasted peanut and suffered a blood-sugar drop so severe he went into a year-long coma.

204 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 11:49

>>203 literally turned himself inside out on a toilet.

205 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 14:41

When >>204 scratches an itch, it creates permanent scars on his skin

206 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 17:48

>>205 was set ablaze by a toy laser pointer

207 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 18:35

>>206 crushed his pelvis by sitting down.

208 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 18:50

>>207 sneezed once and simultaneously broke all his ribs, ruptured his lungs in three places, dislocated his collarbone, soiled himself, and one of his toes fell off.

209 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7220 20:14

>>208 imploded after holding in a fart.

210 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7221 08:33

>>209 tore his skin away when he covered himself in a soft blanket

211 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7221 14:03

>>210 Permanently crushed his penis when he put a condom on it.

212 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7233 00:36

>>211 became horribly malformed after a terrible head-on collision with a parked kids bike.

213 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7233 01:21

>>212 dissolved in the shower when the soap broke his surface tension.

214 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7238 00:17

>>213 had an emotional breakdown when he broke his pencil.

215 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7239 22:37

>>214 received severe facial lacerations by accidentally walking into a cobweb.

216 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7240 07:19

>>215 suffers whiplash injuries every time he nods.

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