Is a panda-o'-nine-tails
There are many things in this world that are not pandas, but >>8 is not one of them.
>>9 is in this picture somewhere https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CztnKvcVIAAjjjS.jpg
>>15 will perform his hit single I'm a big fat stupid panda (and so are all of you) at every possible opportunity.
After some genetic evidence was unearthed, it has been decided that >>16 really is a bear.
>>19 just wants a quiet evening alone with his feeding trough full of bamboo.
>>20 is tragically doomed to be a panda for the rest of his life.
>>23 ironically wears a t-shirt that says "I am not a Panda"
>>26 has an excellent sense of smell, but only really uses it to seek and destroy bamboo, which given that bamboo has a distinctive scent, is kind of a waste.
>>27 is intimately familiar with the distinctive scent of bamboo, having been stuffing his fat face with it at every available opportunity his whole life.
>>28's face is so round that people say, "YOU ARE AS FAT AS A PANDA!!!!" to him. He only gives them "how naive you are" smile in return.
>>29 tries to convince people on the internet that he is not a panda, with limited success.
>>31 has been spotted sitting sad, unable to access pornographic anime site.
As a child, >>32 wished upon a star to become a panda. His wish came true.
>>38 is quite a panda already, but is always looking for ways to become even more of a panda.
Behold, we are in the presence of >>40, better known as Ramplebottom III, king of the pandas! Gaze upon his radiant monochrome visage and weep!
>>43 used to be a small panda. But then he grew up into a full panda.
>>47 was the founder of Bamboo, a high quality quarterly magazine created by and for bamboo enthusiasts.
>>49
Is a popufur commissioner who paid off a lot of beginner artists' Wacom Bamboo tablets. The cartoon portraits thus commissioned bear an uncanny resemblance to the photos.
>>50 cannot even imagine what it must be like not to be a panda.
>>51 looks great on Instagram but is kind of off-putting up close, with smaller eyes than you realized and the fat face from a lifestyle of lying around.
>>57 has been formally diagnosed with Panda Personality Disorder.
>>58 was born a grizzly, but thanks to greasepaint is now a proud transpanda.
I'm not even kidding here, I think >>62 might actually be a panda.
>>64 is a prime example of what we in the scientific community refer to as "a panda".
>>66 narrowly escaped falling victim to a top secret order identifying all pandas as traitors to the Galactic Republic and, therefore, subject to summary execution by the Grand Army of the Republic.
>>67 is a fucking worthless piece of shit, even by panda standards.
I can't believe we let blatant pandas like >>71 post on DQN these days.
Psst, don't tell anyone I told you this, but >>73 is secretly a panda!
Now look, it's really not my place to be dictating who is and isn't a panda, but >>75 certainly isn't not a panda, that's all I'm saying.
I don't believe >>76 is a panda, but statistically speaking, some of my beliefs are erroneous, especially the ones I post anonymously online.
A collision between >>77 and a Pan Am Boeing 747 in Tenerife killed 583 people, the deadliest accident in aviation history. With the unmatched constitution of a morbidly obese panda, he survived the accident and then attempted to lose weight, but failed.
>>82 can be ridden by baby zombie variants [Bedrock and PlayStation 4 editions only].
>>83 is probably aware, on some level, that she's a panda, but doesn't realise just how much of a panda she truly is.
>>85 I'm sorry, but you've got to start facing the reality of being a panda. Stop this immature nonsense.
I've seen plenty of pandas and panda wannabees in my lifetime, but holy shit, >>87 is one hell of a panda!
>>88 regularly pays homage to a deceased and disgraced fascist leader who believed in the innate racial superiority of pandas.
>>89 is a strange and highly disturbing mythological creature, possessing the head of a panda, and the body of a panda.
What does it mean to be a panda? Let us ask our resident expert, >>91, for his opinion on the matter.
>>94 is rocking Outland-ish livery in the homeland of his ancestors, at least till he's done with these stupid dailies.
As t tends to infinity, >>97 asymptotically approaches pandahood.
During a tarot card reading, >>98 drew the Twelve of Bamboo Shoots, indicating that she is a panda or will become a panda in the immediate future.
>>100 is by nature a solitary person, for most of his time is spent avoiding direct contact with others of his own kind. But at crucial stages in >>100's life, he, just like all solitary mammals, is forced to spend time with others. In spring >>100 must seek out a female in order to mate. And in autumn the female gives birth to a single cub which will be her constant companion for the next 18 months or more.
>>100 generally avoids contacting others of his kind in the wild. In their dense habitat their coats help make them conspicuous to each other, preventing them from surprising themselves by approaching too close to each other.
>>100 signifies aggression by lowering his head and staring at his opponents. To signal submissiveness, >>100 will put his head between his front legs, often hiding his eye-patches with his paws. Interestingly, this position is adopted by his partners during mating season, and also by >>100 when being harassed by humans - particularly vets with anaesthetic darts. At close range, >>100 signifies aggression by swiping a paw, or by letting out a low-pitched growl or bark that will send opponents scampering up the nearest tree.
>>102 wishes he could invert the colors of his fur, like a panda superhero.
>>104 had no sexual outlet until discovering erotic roleplay in World of Warcraft on the momentous day of September 25, 2012.
>>105 pppppppppppppppppppppppppaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddddddddddddddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>>107 lived a normal life with their fellow humans until one day they crossed the edge of a bamboo forest in northern china and found a whole society of pandas. While distracted by some advanced panda technology they where spotted by a panda and soon took a dart to the neck. When they awoke they were back with their family in the forest, but no-one believed his tale about panda world except for a plucky young boy named bamboo gargler the panda.
>>109 can't help but to remain a panda after the wizard cursed him
>>110 calls others pandas because they are insecure about being a panda
>>115 has forty white teeth, a bumpy black nose, and is covered in fur from his head to his toes
>>121 is, infamously, not known as "the panda-fucking bastard"
There are 1120 pandas on this website and >>122 STILL can't get laid
>>123 looks like a panda, smells like a panda. Might be a panda
>>128 is a robotic lifeform cunningly constructed to be externally indistinguishable from a panda. Or maybe just a panda, I haven't checked.
>>132 carried out malicious destruction of property on a hut made of bamboo by systematically dismantling and eating it.
>>133 stopped ransacking the village because he was given hope that his forest would grow back
>>134 heroically carried his children out of their burning house. Like his children, he is a panda.
>>135's children are humans, but they are adoptive children, because she refuses to breed naturally, because she is a panda.
>>137 is embarrassed by his short panda tail and pinned on a longer one, but it keeps coming off.
>>138, on the other hand, is immensely proud of his stubby little panda tail.
The previous poster is a panda. I'm not sure why he's so upset about it. It isn't like he's a panda or anything. It's just a panda.
I think that the first thing to notice is that he's not saying that he wants to kill the panda. He's saying that he wants to eat it. I think that's important for the first part of the poster. He's saying that he wants to eat a panda.
The second thing to notice is the word "panda." That's the word that's used in the original poster. In the original poster, he says, "I want to eat the panda." He's not saying, "I want to eat a panda." He's saying, "I want to eat a panda." But he's not saying, "I want to eat a panda and kill it."
The thi
>>140 is a neural network closely trained on the behavioural traits of pandas. In fact, they have recently made news headlines as the very first "Strong AP (Artificial Panda) System".
>>142's mighty teeth can penetrate any armour, so long as it's made of bamboo
>>143 is a panda who needs to come to terms with his past and move on already.
Microbes in >>144's waste are being investigated for their use in creating biofuels
>>147's human friends didn't used to know whether to let him say nigga, but it turned out he was saying nigger the whole time anyway
>>148 is referred to in Latin American countries as a "mulatto."
150get
Panda bakes. Panda shakes. Panda manda Amanda. >>151 is a panda.
>>153 doesn't know any words, but will stare at you if you so much as whisper "bamboo"
>>158 is a panda who offers political forcasts on the news, that's right, he's a pandit
>>165 Is in a meme about what didn't happen in Tienanmen square in 1989.
>>166 now orbits the sun in a capsule launched early in the Chinese space program.
>>167 has, as an ancestral inheritance, an unrewarding diet of shoots and leaves despite ursine teeth and the ability to digest meat.
>>169 did all the modelling for their start up fashion line, sexy panda apparel
In a startling show of force, >>171's rival group "big pandas matter" stood in a big line and puffed up their fur
Surprising no one, >>172's Pandanistas blew off trying to cross the border AGAIN.
>>173 is actually a double agent for pandanistas.org, the python library for pandas by pandas
>>174 successfully infiltrated the Pandarados, and then took control after a bloody duel with their head pancho.
>>175 assassinates rivals by blowing huge loads of cocaine in their faces with a contextually unsuspicious bamboo stick
>>177 sailed the ocean blue in the year 1492. Why? Naturally, in search of bamboo.
>>178 taped a carrot to their nose and pretended to be a penguin, but they weren't fooling anyone.
>>179 thinks putting flowers in their fur disguises them as a bee, everyone just plays along becase it looks cute
(Captcha: gay)
>>189 projects giant images of himself onto skyscrapers and uses microphones he hid around the city to get peoples opinions on if he's a panda or not
>>191 is a pathetic snivelling unlovable wretch, and I'm not just saying that because he's a panda.
It's time to face the truth, >>193. You can't keep hiding from the fact that you're a panda forever.
>>200 may be somewhat of a panda at times, but we love them anyway.
>>201 is a front- and all-wheel drive, five passenger city car manufactured and marketed by Fiat, now in its third generation.
>>203 is a dandy pandy sippin on brandy and eatin candy with ghandy, proudly pounding pretty panda puss is his modus operandy
Wow, it sure smells like panda in here! I think it's coming from >>204...
>>207 snitched on the panda next door to the Geheime Pandapolizei, and another at his workplace, so they'd not take him away this time.
>>208 is a spooky undead panda, returned from beyond the grave!
When, long ago, the gods created Earth
In Jove's fair image bears where shaped at birth.
The beasts for lesser parts were next designed;
Yet were they too remote from bearkind.
To fill the gap, and join the rest to bear,
Th'Olympian host conceiv'd a clever pair.
A beast they wrought, with dog and salamander,
Filled it with vice and called >>209 a panda.
>>215 attempted to clone themselves, but the cloning machine malfunctioned and did not stop after the first clone, causing an uncontrollable pandamic.
>>217 is a twin but would have been abandoned by its mother if not for zookeepers playing switcheroo rather frequently
>>218 bumped this thread specifically because he wanted someone to reaffirm his pandahood.
>>219 went from endangered to vulnerable in the time this thread has existed without ever giving a shit (despite shitting up to forty times a day due to a herbivorous bulking diet) or lifting a finger in his own salvation (despite having a pseudo-thumb).
>>222 wants to be the cute panda girl, but is just an average panda.
>>223 wants to be the average panda, but is instead a weird freak panda.
>>224 is such a panda that it's a wonder he can survive in the wild.
>>226 has become one with the panda, in both body and soul.
>>229 is responsible for 9/11. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he's also a panda!
>>230 is such a lazy pandas that other pandas seem like workaholics around his lazy panda ass.
Behold, >>234 in all his glory!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVKtHTG8VBA&t=85s
>>235 is using his billions in panda money to set up a Mars Panda Colony.
>>237
Behold footage of >>235 and >>237 [PAV]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w212Pxf1w8
>>238 is a lying panda, there's no way two members of his fellow species would voluntarily attempt to reproduce like that.
>>240 is a panda dreaming of being a butterfly dreaming of being a panda.
>>241
Is an overweight panda carrying a screaming red haired pig tailed girl through the streets to the Tendo School of Anything Goes Grappling.
>>242 is a devastatingly sexy absolute smokeshow of a girl. Too bad she's also a panda.
243 Across: Endangered mammal involved in termination of Grandpa, possibly? (5)
245 Down: And in Pennsylvania, a bear! (5)
