Dear Squeaks,
I left dinner for you in the fridge, as I'm going to be working the swing shift tonight. Don't forget tomorrow is trash day!
Love,
Mom
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and this mom sucks dick
（つ つ like the rest of those wannabe "Lets make our son like us".
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Mr Squeeksand
I know this mail may meet you as a surprise but i have to start
by introducing myself to you,i am Mr. Name, a merchant in
Dubai, Arab Emirate. I have been diagnosed with Cancer which was
discovered very late, due to my laxity in careing for my health. It has
defiled all forms of medicine, Right now I have only about a few months
to live, according to my Medical Doctor. I have not particularly lived
my life so well, as I never really cared for myself but the oil
business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I only focused
on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret
all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to
have or make all the money in the world.
I believe when God gives me
a second chance and heal me I would live my life a different way from
how I have lived it. I have sowed a seed for my healing I have willed
and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended
family members and as well as a few close friends.
I want God to be
merciful to me and accept my soul and so, I have decided to give arms
to charity organizations and give succour and comfort to the less
priviledged of the Tsunami Victims, as I want this to be one of the
last good deeds I do on earth.
So far, I have distributed money to
some charity organizations in India and Malaysia. Now that my health
has deteriorated so badly,I cannot do this my self anymore. I once
asked members of my family to close one of my accounts in Saudi Bank
and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization and
to the less priviledged in Bulgaria and Sudan Africa They cashed the
money but kept it only to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them
anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for
them already.
The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge
cash deposit of twenty two million dollars that I have in the Vault of
a Financial company in europe for safe keeping.
I want you to collect
this deposit on my behalf and disburse it to the Tsunami EarthQuake
victims in Asia and hurrican victms in America for the less
priviledged.
I will set aside 20% for you for your time and efforts.
I need your urgent reply so that I will not have to go on sourcing for
a credible person to handle this project.
If you are okey with the
condition, do not hesitate to send me mail (email} so
that i can furnish you up with all the informations needed.
I wish to
hear from you soon.
God bless you.
Mr. Name
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and 20% is not good.
（つ つ I got better deals.
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Date: 1993-09-4810
To: Jay Squeeksand
To the above Tenant and all others now in possession of the below described premises:
You are hereby requested to quit, vacate and deliver possession thereof to the undersigned on or before 09-1825, 1993.
This notice to vacate is due to your following breach of tenancy:
Should you fail, refuse or neglect to pay your rent, cure the breach, or vacate said premises within 15 days from service of this notice, I will take such legal action as the law requires to evict you from the premises. You are to further understand that we shall in all instances hold you responsible for all present and future rents due under your tenancy agreement.
Thank you for you cooperation.
Squeeks:
It's over. Don't call me. Don't IM me, don't message me on gmail. I threw away your things, so don't pretend you want to come over to pick it up.
Don't reply to this in any way, ever.
Love,
Mom
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and it is times like this that I know
（つ つ I can rely on my long-standing friendship with Marty!
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
To: squeeks@4-ch.net
From: （ ｀ハ´） (darkpa@eviloverlords.net)
Subject: All medications to cure yourself!
Date: September 4810, 1993 1:51:48 AM PST
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There is no need to visit your doctor and local drug store anymore!
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・Д・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and I was promised that I would be reached
（つ つ in a confidential manner, Darkpa!!
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
Dear Squeeks,
I left dinner for you in the rubbish bin, as I'm going to be working the fridge tonight. Don't forget Tuesday is swing shift night!
Love,
Mum
corrected for authenticity!
Dear Mum,
I get it already!
Love,
Squeeks
Dear Squeeks:
HA HA! I AM USING THE INTERNET!
-Signed
Internet user
Dear Squeeks:
I'm afraid I have bad news. You have terminal bonitis.
-Signed
Your doctor.
Deer Squeeks
and lion roars
Dear Squeeks,
Summer camp is a lot of fun, and I'm getting along with all of my new bunk mates. We went swimming today, and later on we're going to play something called box lacrosse.
Thank you for sending me the candy. The counselors saw it, and made me share it with everyone, which really stunk, but now everyone is really friendly with me. Can you please send more?
I hope you're having as much fun as I am this summer!
yours truly,
Marty
Dear Squeeks,
Today I met another man in downtown new york. For some reason my previous boyfriend doesn't call me anymore. People in New York are sure hard to understand. But it's great! I love it here, I'm free!
Love,
Hinako
PS: Please be quick with that western union transfer (^_^)Z
Dear Squeeks,
Hi! I'm a long time reader, first time emailer!
I've been staring at digital cameras for a while, and somehow cannot make up my mind! Should I go with Nikon or Canon? It's so confusing, with all these lenses and memories and megapixels and stabilizers, I'm in a tizzy! Mr. Squeeks, they say that you're a smart guy who knows all about this stuff and things. Can you please give me a word of advice?
Sincerely,
Confused Shutterbug
Dear Squeeks,
I've been visiting and participating in your site and bulletin board for some time now. Sadly, I have noticed a trend for the worse.
I suggest you provide some sort of registration on your site so we can know who is posting what and act accordingly.
Sincerely,
Russ