Dear Squeeks:

Dude, I swear what you did was totally fucked up. I mean shit, I can't believe you had the fucking gall to say that. Where the hell did you come up with that complete line of bullshit anyway?

Anyway, it was plain fucking wrong, and totally uncool. You're completely in the wrong on this, and I'm not about to stand up for you this time.

Seriously, think about apologizing before you burn all your bridges.

Your friend in Jesus,
Father Thomas McGuire