(continued from >>414)
Mere seconds later, Mister Kibble pulled out a gun very similar to his toy gun from his Balloon Belt, without even wincing once. "This is my duty, and you will not interfere with it", he said as he pushed the barrel against Marco's smiling forehead. The bar shaked in terror at the thought of what could happen next.
Mister Kibble pulled the trigger very, very slowly, causing Marco's forehead to turn into a puddle of sweat within seconds. The gun didn't go off; maybe it was another toy gun? Mister Kibble had seemingly prepared another speech for this moment. "You see, sometimes, not all desperation leads to the end of one's life. In some mere moments, you have been revitalized. I have a present for you; let me hand you it. Change your life after you receive this present, or something bad might happen." Mister Kibble took off a "HAPPY DAY!" pin from his vest and gave it to Marco.
The entire bar clapped as Mister Kibbles was slowly walking out of the door. Or rather, the location where a door would've been. The clapping stopped, angering Mister Kibbles and causing him to rush back into the bar.
"YOU HAVE ANGERED ME FOR THE LAST TIME! I AM THE PRIME DEFENDER OF HAPPINESS. YOU KNOW WHO I AM. YOU KNOW WHO I CAN BE. YOU KNOW WHAT NOT TO DO. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. YOU'RE NOT DOING IT. YOU'RE DOING THAT WHICH YOU SHOULDN'T. YOU SHALL EACH MEAT YOUR DOOM!", Mister Kibbles shouted. "But first, who wants a balloon animal?" As the crowd realized what was about to happen, they kept quiet. "Nobody... nobody? I can make you a dog, a cat, a lovely turtle or even an Espeon!" Still, he didn't receive a response. This was desperate; the entire bar with infected with Unhappiness. He knew that only one measure would work.
Mister Kibbles took a machine gun out of his pocket and shot everyone, followed by himself. With a full 199 happy pins remaining, his day had ended. This was his worst day yet. Even his Happy Hat fell off. The end.
>>416
Compare both versions of the story and indicate which one you prefer the most.
>>415 Hmm i liked the original better. As I was reading yours I thought "hmmm he is just re-writing the original in a slightly different way" but by the end I was thinking "hmmm i'm not really feeling this story at all". And then the Espeon reference made me shake my head and audibly tut. Reminds me of the people who would mention jaffa cakes to increase their chances of teletext fame. Poor show.
>>417
http://i.imgur.com/ZeXuz.png
>>419
Without necessarily, you know, bragging, tell us something about yourself that you're pretty proud of, or that you feel good about, so that we will also be proud of you and/or admire this thing about you.
>>420 I am not a danmaku otaku, so of course I never got past level 2.
>422 I demand that you tell me what your favorite sketch from "Monty Python's Flying Circus."
mustang cobra
>>426
Videotape yourself dancing to daddy cools rasputin song. Covering some/all parts of the body is acceptable unless a panda.
>>425
My most sincere apologies, but it appears that nobody on DQN is willing to do that and I don't really want to see this thread fall off the front page for several days/weeks again. Your demand will have to go unrequited but, alas, such is life. Besides which, who the hell uses videotapes these days?
>>427
I demand to know what happened in one of your recent dreams.
>>426
My last dream was really strange, after two sleepless nights, just before falling to a much-awaited sleep after 2 days of intense masturbation, I decided to read a not-so-good manga, "Tokyo Toybox". I'm not sure I've remembered all of it, but I spent all the night dreaming about it. It was about a lazy but genius game developer. Add to that the insane amount of hentai I saw the last 48 hours and you can imagine the mess it was.
>>428
I demand you make a random original ASCII art, possibly funny.
>>431 While looking for a download link I read the wikipedia article on it. Already excited, I then noticed at the bottom of the article a link to a review by the NME. "This should be good" I thought: http://www.nme.com/reviews/autechre/6602 Hahaha. The comments are funny too. Then I looked up the reviewer, Sarah Dempster, and found an article by the her for the guardian 3 years later talking about how she likes to dance around her bedroom to Queen and Phil Collins and The Very Best Of The Moody Blues, but she also sort of brags about her time at the NME "name-dropping german electro artists" and stuff.
I just laffed and laffed and shook my head, but now I am excited to listen to Gantz Graf EP in headphones. If the NME doesn't like it, that means it's probably interesting. OOOOH SICK BURN!
>>433 Hate on something which is an easy target.
>>433
http://www.tatsuya-koyama.com/software/wg002_genetos_eng.html
GENETOS
>>434
Link us to your favorite freeware game!
http://www.charliesgames.com/cactus/MondoAgencyFixed.zip
Express love for something most people find distasteful.
>>436 i'm not going to use an inferior operating system just cos some sap on /dqn/ tells me to!
>>438 rate my penis http://www.freeimagehosting.net/66a85
>>439
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3gHi9ZMlQ8
If you go through this guy's videos (specifically the "Episodes") quite a lot of the interpretations are mine. Unfortunately, anonymity and forgetfulness mean I can't quite say which ones...
>>441
Post a picture of something you are proud of (but not genitalia).
>>441
Uh huhuhuhuhuhu I gatz a gurlfrond and I gotz a faecbuk adn I amz popular with peoplz because eye gatz a social life dan I still fock bitches an shyt nigger. I'm betar dan everybody hear and I'll bitch about my problems becuse I'm a stupid piece of dog shit that needs to point out how much better I am than erybudy uh huhuhuhuhuhuh.
>>443
Do whatever you want.
>>448
The day after my girlfriend left I relieved my remaining sexual tension by spending the day masturbating. The fantasies included gangbanging another man's wife on her wedding day without her knowledge, fucking my ex-girlfriend on top of my tied-up girlfriend, and fucking an underage girl as her mother forces her into a threesome.
>>450
Motivate me for going back to work tomorrow.
>>451
http://i.imgur.com/Y7jE4.png
>>453
link to the first porn video you remember watching.
>>452 http://xhamster.com/movies/476375/bbw_roberta.html
>>454 don't worry about it
>>454
I wanna pilot a helicopter! Like, one of those huge military transport choppers I've seen on my Top Trumps cards! And once I get my hands on it, I'll customise it into a flying camper van and go on holidays wherever I want to without expensive plane tickets and hotel bookings!
>>456
Describe your favourite PC game.
>>455
That game has a bad end where your cousin dies and a good one where your bride gets shot during the wedding. After beating the game you can easily acquire a t-shirt with Statue of Liberty and commit suicide as a free man (in-game, on your own discretion), then uninstall the game and try to get over this depressive 'aftertaste' by getting drunk (AFK, on your own discretion).
>>457
What popular videogame I just spoiled? (Hint: it's a console port)
>>455
A ship you were sleeping on makes a narrow escape from a world destroyed but a religeous alien armada by making a blind jump through slipspace. Where they came out, they don't know. But after being followed by the armada you and your shipmates are forced to jump ship and crash land on a strange ringworld. The aliens follow you and seem to think they can use the secrets of this ringworld as a weapon. All you know is that you have to stop the aliens from unlocking secrets of the ringworld, as doing so would mean both the aliens, the Humans, and all life in the known Universe would become nothing more...than food.
Know what game I'm talking about?
>>457
Draw Giko on paper, take a photo, then post it.
>>457
Oi, mate! Someone gotsa hit f5 more often.
ttp://uploda.in/img/data/img10131.jpg
Here ya go. Tools: no-name notepad (apparently made in Germany), Faber-Castell pencil 1.0 B, Olympus E-P1 with Pancolar 1.8/50 MC lens (M42 screw thread).
>>459
>>456 still doesn't know what game he enjoyed playing. Help him out.
I don't actually own any consoles except for a Sega Master System, so I would say my favourite is 'The Ninja'. You play a dude wearing a blue vest and he chucks rice at ninjas to save the princess. Later you can upgrade to shuriken and this helpsin defending the large hordes of ninja who attack you.
>>461
Make a new thread on http://4-ch.net/love/
>>460
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1326265053/
>>462
Post a question in my thread
>>468 We were 6 and used to hold hands in class, and she lived round the corner from me. This one time I stole a kiss right on her lips but she wasn't too impressed. I was obsessed with her till I was 13, I used to look out my window with my telescope to see if i could see her in her window but I never could. It wasn't till I was 11 that I learned she'd moved away when she was 8 cos she was getting bullied at school. It was news to me. She came back to the same high school as me when we were 13 and it made my heart flutter still if I saw her in the hall. I got to do the canadian barn dance with her at the xmas dance that year but she seemed disinterested. She randomly added me on facebook a couple of years ago and i found it rather funny, she's now your common variety fake-tanned wasted-at-weekends chubby tart. That said, it would be nice to bump into her sometime and see what she says.
Describe the girl of your dreams >>470
>>469
Shorter than I am, slim, cute face, short hair. Very sincere and kind. Not stupid, but not too cynical; she has a lot of hope for the world and dreams for herself. (Incidentally, I have a "wife," but it'd be best I not mention her. She's a minor character from Touhou.)
>>471
Tell us about one of your favorite experiences you've had with /dqn/, or something like that.
>>470 Well I love DQN to bits. I first discovered it about four and a half years ago when I stumbled across the Yoshinoya rant and wanted to find out where it came from, and the thread here came up on google. I can't think of any particular favourite experiences but I love the general feel of the place. I feel some sort of kinship with our small userbase, we must have some sort of connection in our way of thinking to come here and post. It's kinda fun too noticing different posters personalities and telling when they post - the rat-killing guy, the druggies, the kinky menstruation guy, and there was someone who used to post detailed descriptions about why various numbers were special but I haven't seen a post like that for ages....
I check here many times a day. I feel like I've learned a lot too - hmmm maybe "learn" is the wrong word but I've found lots of interesting stuff via the ctrl+v thread, the DQN Quality Videos thread and the Post Right Now thread. The latter is my favourite thread because I like to get an insight into what goes through your heads haha.
Actually, seeing those chewits arrive safely made me really happy, I've got a proper cheesy grin right now haha.
>>472 Hmmm bump the Yoshinoya thread I mentioned!
oops http://s18.postimage.org/k57kkl6nd/Photo_on_2012_01_27_at_20_40_2.jpg
>>478 you should jerk off too
I am unsure if it qualifies as an act I would like to commit, but I do so wish that suave gentleman >>482 would cast me down upon the bedsheets and ravish me with the fury of a hundred orangutans. In fact, I beseech him to take me now!
>>482
Take three spoonfuls of the gall of a barrow swine, three spoonfuls of hemlock juice, three spoonfuls of wild neep, three spoonfuls of lettuce, three spoonfuls of pape, three spoonfuls of henbane, three spoonfuls of eysyl, and mix them all together and boil them a little and put them in a glass vessel well stopped and put thereof three spoonfuls into a potel of good wine and mix it well together. Drink this and you will never have to worry about orangutile dysfunction ever again!
>>484
List your top ten favorite snacks.
>>483 hmmmmmm
that was difficult, and hardly in order, and there's probably better stuff i've forgotten. i have a sweet tooth haha
>>485 send a text message of encouragement or compliment or anything nice to anyone you like!
I demand >>489 speak in iambic pentameter in his reply and in at least one other post on DQN.
Oh no. What have this sillyphone done! I owe you a picture now.
>>493
Tell me what I must draw on the wall.
>>494
I meant the wall of the lounge room, you museless asshole. I'm not drawing a lounge in a lounge for someone like you.
>>506
A certain kitten is too shy about being bad at drawing whilst suffering from acute perfectionism. I'm working on it! I'm doing it. But you should draw it anyway, >>506! It might inspire me to do my best. Also, the weight of IOU is so insufferable that I almost ceased to post.
>>508
I demand that you make a photo of anything you want outdoors.
>>507 http://www.pistonheads.com/sales/largepic.asp?i=3534221&noPics=9&imgsrv=1¤t=3&make=NISSAN&model=SKYLINER34&trade=1
>>509 I demand a mattress sized hug pillow with a character that fits it.
>>511
http://i.imgur.com/MIhtM.jpg
>>513
I demand you list your five most recent bookmarks.
>>512
http://www.moepod.net/archive/20100809.php
http://www.moepod.net/supermodo
http://www.personaldna.com/report.php?k=qDDFECnARCaBlZm-FA-ABABC-d83a&u=2ed113baf9f7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=iv&annotation_id=annotation_388602&src_vid=MjwmVjB73xw&v=jl-bqELepRM
http://www.sockdreams.com/products/socks/thigh-highs/lycra-acrylic-striped-thigh-highs
>>514
I demand that you post a brief anecdote regarding your childhood.
>>513
I may have told this before on 4-ch, but any anecdote worth telling is worth re-telling.
When I was 8, I was building a Lego pirate ship with a good friend from down the street. Our relations until that point had been nothing but amicable. I introduced him to my beloved stuffed seal friend, trusting he would share the joy of its acquaintance. Contrary to my expectations, he began making fun of it. I could not stand for such intolerance. Although he was a close friend, the seal was a closer one. Yet my demands of him to stop only egged him on, and he even began violently beating and swinging my poor seal friend around.
This was the last straw. A rage I had never known before filled my body. Normally a mild-mannered child, I suddenly felt that inhuman disconnect that enables men to murder. I tackled my friend and wrapped my fingers tightly around his neck and squeezed. At first he struggled and screamed at first, but I did not let go. His body went limp and he fell silent. Yet I continued to push my thumbs into his throat, unwilling to let go until I was sure he had perished.
Disturbed by the sudden seconds of silence, my mother ran in and saw what was happening. She pulled me off of him, he ran home, our mothers organized an apology between us. To my surprise he wasn't angry at all, in fact he seemed genuinely guilty, while I secretly felt pretty remorseless. We remained good friends until the day he asked me to lick his dick (but that's another story).
I later reasoned that I probably was not actually that close to killing him. Nonetheless, since that day, I have always lived with the haunting knowledge that I have the willingness to kill another human without remorse.
>>515
I demand that you post a brief anecdote regarding your teenagehood.
