[Contentful] ITT we write down our dreams. [Serialization] [Thoughts] (596)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6700 20:39

In the beginning I am running in the forest naked as fast as I can, as if I'm escaping from something. I encounter big swarms of aggressive bees recklessly stinging me on the road but it doesn't stop me. Then I get to a branch and realize that all but one of the stings were actually nails. Strangely, those nails are actually reversed, pointing up with the head inside my skin.
Suddenly, an empty cinema room. I'm standing there, examining the only one of those stings that isn't a nail, and vomitting on it in order to neutralize the poison. The nails are expulsed out of my skin, the scars and the vomit disappear, I take a seat, and people start getting inside the room.
The film starts, and I know even before its beginning it's a sequel to a show I really like (Kaamelott). But that film is fucking terrible, and the only scene I remember is some guy running ejecting nails out of his skin.
Suddenly, I'm in a medieval Europe-styled market next to the forest and a railroad. Someone is with me and goes on the railroad. I tell that person what ey's doing is dangerous and ey comes back. I look at an arcade game in the market and decide to play it. The screen shows a cylindric tower slightly to the left in front of a blue sky with a few clouds, and there are ghosts with their tongues out represented exactly by the same sprite as in the Touhou games for PC-98.
And then I wake up.

447 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9454 17:00

This was a pretty long dream. I remember bits and pieces of some sort of post-disaster world, with ruined cities and various other things.

The bit I remember was at the end. I was investigating something or other, and I ended up at a technical trade show. A company was advertising their system for performing rapid chemical analysis of something-or-other in an unmanned environment (I think it was somewhere on the moon). They showed a demo of an existing space shuttle-like vehicle, and how their system allowed transport of samples without modifying the shuttle design. There was a CGI simulation of the process. As the simulated shuttle landed and the machinery went into operation, there was an explosion on-screen and the demo went dead.

I had managed to get into the good graces of one of the technical people (call them N), so I was able to watch while the various executives and directors frantically tried to figure out what had happened. It turned out that the CGI simulation had ended, the explosion had come from the next thing that was supposed to be shown in the video: an interview with the genius who developed some of the compounds needed in the process. I think they were called the HCL2020Z series, and they were very, very tightly kept secrets.

There was more confusing investigation, and I ended up inside the house/office of some executive, whose family ran the whole department (one of those cackling old women who issued orders from her bed). It turned out that their development process involved binding some kind of demon onto one of the employees. The HCL2020Z series was too complicated to be understood by a mere mortal. The current host was the "genius" who was to have been interviewed: his human part had regained enough control to attempt suicide just as the video feed switched.

At all times, there was a current host of the demon, and another technical worker selected as "acolyte": one named by the host at the instant of possession, who was next in line and was granted some knowledge of the technicalities. Control of both host and acolyte would allow one family branch to oust the others, and completely control the chemical department. I forget all the character names, but at this point, with the current host dying in a hospital, there were all sorts of Mexican stand-offs and double-crosses to choose the next host/acolyte pair.

After a shoot-out, my friend N ended up as host. As the last double-cross, I was named the acolyte without anyone but me and N knowing. In the resulting confusion, I tried to escape.

The last thing I remember was trying to board a moving freight plane that was leaving the research lab/mansion/factory/whatever. I pleaded with the pilot, who laughed and asked for some kind of bribe. I looked around for something, anything, and by the power of the acolyte, I scrawled the structural diagrams of the first dozen compounds in the HCL2020Z series, somehow in a Fraktur script, on the side of his plane, where his observation cameras could see them. Astonished, he let me on, and that's when I woke up.

448 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9472 02:29

I was looking up an Internet meme in Japanese based off a Korean tourist getting food poisoning from tainted seafood but not stopping eating it. ƒ€ƒJƒ€ƒJ something or other.

449 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9477 05:16

My brother became a VIP and I kept trying not to embarrass myself in front of his handler, a really hot blonde named Buttons, except she was dropping huge hints like leaving a magazine with a cover story about "people who want to become living pillows (no really)" (no, really) and not leaving when I couldn't stop myself from opening two tabs of hentai, and also brought her friend along later

anyway basically the only reason we didn't bang is probably because i have no experience and my family was there

450 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9516 14:31

Someone named "Antoine Internet" was leaving hang-up messages on my old Casio wristphone/calculator watch while I was involved with a Space Diversity Action Team(tm) adventure which fizzled out half way through, even though I got to bone the shy little Arabian girl on the team while we were alone on the bridge.

Actually, I think she was Japanese and just dressed like an Arab girl.

451 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9571 17:34

I dreamt that Chinese agents had released a horrible disease into the entire west coast of America, north and south, and I was hiding from it in a sealed room with a few friends, who changed into different friends every time I looked around. I opened a door into a huge underground arcology like a 30 story shopping mall or hotel with this giant open space. Chinese spies came in from another door and I flew into the arcology to escape them, zipping around giant columns and escalators while they shot at me with some kind of energy weapons.

I had that dream a couple of weeks ago, and now I see this in the news: https://people.com/health/cases-pneumonic-plague-found-in-china/

holyfuck

452 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9572 14:50

>>451

>I dreamt that Chinese agents had released a horrible disease into the entire west coast of America

That wasn't a dream

I had a dream I dug a hole to my uncle's house and I was playing some obscure shmups with his twelve yr old daughter. She's really weird and she loves seeing me when I come over during family holidays.

453 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9572 17:07

I dreamed I went to the store and bought a box of Mentos and when I opened the box it was full of gummy lifesavers (which I despise). I went to the cashier and demanded a refund, but he refused to give me a refund and said he would give me a coupon for some donuts and 6% off a box of Mentos. I got angry and I started making a scene and some 12 year old girl was watching and laughing. I attempted to choke the cashier with a soft prezel and got thrown out. The End.

454 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9587 17:08

Wasted a lot of time reading an old, long-winded site I made (with terribl teenage-quality jokes, although one innuendo I can't remember was particularly good in its audacity). Tried to recover an old game I made that was on it that was a parody "sequel" (The Queen of Sheba 3) of a game with infamous Engrish. Although I had bragged about it being only 25kB, archive.org didn't go that far. I felt "Wow, I forgot I made all this. I have lost touch with the creative energy I used to have."

There was a lot more to it, but I only remember these details because of how detailed it was.

Also neither that site nor that game was a thing I did, of course. They merely sounded like things I plausibly would have done if my life weren't so fucked up.

455 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9589 18:22

Last night I had a dream that my reality-crazy mother took an 18-wheeler and drove through as many mansions as possible. When I exited the truck, I was looking for my computer in order to tell my two reality-important online friends that I was going to kill myself shortly due to being unable to afford the damages. However, I couldn't find a keyboard and there is no way that I would kill myself without saying my goodbyes to them (in reality), so I never got to the suicide part in the dream either. I found a whole bunch of N64's though instead of keyboards. Apparently I was somehow in my childhood home because I recognized the TV that I used to have and my computer desk was where it belonged just without the PC. Also we did not live in a mansion so the transition between the mansions to my room is a mystery.

456 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9593 16:12

I had a dream where I saw western otaku women showing off the gifts they got from their Japanese boyfriends. I then started to wonder who is better off, western otaku women with Japanese boyfriends or western otaku men with Japanese boyfriends.

457 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9593 17:58

My beloved dream-uncle who owned (and apparently lived in) a pizzeria died in a fire that destroyed the whole building.

458 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9596 07:43

Read a medium-decent doujin

Wish I could remember enough details to bring it into existence.

459 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9596 20:23

Kissed a ginger girl in secret

460 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9602 15:46

I dreamed that I was in a huge investment firm, and somehow the mainframe took data from my computer and revealed my embarrassing fetishes to all kinds of people at the firm. They were all mad as hell.

461 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9603 17:18

I had a dream I returned to a former job, and everyone I knew was still there, but the whole company had pivoted to making apps and infosites about frogs and toads. Everyone had a frog or a toad on their lap, the whole floor was crawling with frogs and toads, the whole office was decorated to look like a rainforest and also this guy came over and started showing off his toad expertise and explained to me how to recognize a frog from a toad in the wild, and then asked me to pet his toad because he thought it was very cute. It wasn't, it was a very disgusting toad.

462 Name: vc: shoutchable : 1993-09-9604 21:21

Was in some series of tunnels where people lived.

While we were traveling (kind of a paranoid voyeuristic atmosphere, think of Indiana Jones in "Temple of Doom" watching the human sacrifice), one of the mercenaries (female) lagged behind and did a sort of horror-movie "don't do this thing that's very easy to not do" and used a moment of privacy to masturbate, which turned out to activate a large statue nearby (that wasn't apparent before) and then the raider faction (they had a name, don't remember what) yeeted in from a side path. Not sure if the two were related, the timing was too sudden.

463 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9618 20:56

I dreamed that I won a limited edition Sig Sauer handgun, but I immediately had to hide it from my roommates. I didn't have time to find something lockable, so I buried it under some clothes. I can't remember exactly what kind of Sig Sauer it was, but it was 2 tone with wooden grips. I'm guessing it was a P226.

464 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9621 21:25

I and an old friend were going to a new high-tech amusement park and I was really looking forward to it. We got there, my friend ditched me, and I found myself wandering around an abandoned luxury resort in some abandoned part of a city that a bunch of families made their ratty little homes in. While looking for him and the park, I found a speedboat then woke up before I could drive it around.

465 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9630 21:50

I got into a fist fight with a girl, then had to run away in a cargo ship.

466 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9646 16:31

I don't recall exactly what was I dreaming, but I distinctly remember Fortunate Son blaring literally fucking everywhere, really weird shit.

467 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9665 05:21

For some reason I had to drink two beers at once. I don't drink often or much (and accordingly have next to no alcohol tolerance), and I don't like the taste of beer.

(It was Valentine's, though...)

468 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9665 09:22

Grandma wanted to post here

469 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9666 01:41

I dreamed I got a job and had to show up for a 10 AM shift tomorrow.

In retrospect, it was more of a nightmare.

470 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9666 12:08

I dreamed a country singer and I bombed a truck together.

471 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9666 18:27

I remember going on a Green Lantern amusement park ride. The ride was similar to an airplane motion simulator, and it followed Hal Jordan and other lantern ring wearers to battle some badguys. I don't remember the ride being any better than similar amusement park rides. I just didn't expect one to be based on Green Lantern.

472 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9668 16:57

I had a dream where I had an Ipad freeze up. It was stuck on a page full of Cardcaptor Sakura lewds. Someone else wanted to use it, and was getting impaitient. I was doing every trick I could think of to hide the lewds, but I didn't know much about how to work with Apple products.

473 Name: vc: peashen : 1993-09-9712 13:39

I was looking up a wiki article and it was remarkably detailed. What I can recall of it reads as follows:

"Cocainius" is a surgical procedure performed only at Sacred Heart. It consists of ... "up the tonsil's nose." In the final episode, the procedure, and the hospital's financial future, came under doubt when ... discovered that its results came about because ... into the spine.....

474 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9713 13:19

I had a dream where I woke up and went to the kitchen. While preparing breakfast I dropped a bread slice on the floor, which scared me and made me actually wake up, confused as to what had happened.

475 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9725 03:30

I was looking at dailies for a new cartoon that was supposedly based on Twin Peaks, but the only thing it had in common was the theme music. The cartoon itself involved a giant harp seal and a tiny walrus doing old Tom & Jerry routines at sea, as interpreted by John K.

It wasn't cute or funny, so it got cancelled before the first toon was finished.

476 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9725 16:40

I dreamed that I got a Steyr AUG that shot 12 gauge shotgun shells.

477 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9748 14:36

I was working with an old coworker on hunting down the source code for Atari's Star Raiders so we could modernize it a bit. The disassembler we were using for some reason also rendered a pleasingly 8-bit summer day in the background with little 8x8 pixel sprite kids flying kites and running around aimlessly, as simulated kids often do.

When I woke up, I googled for the source code and found someone had done it about five years ago, with much useful commenting.

478 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9748 22:23

I had a nightmare my toenails were being forcibly clipped and the person doing it was complimenting me on how nice they looked and how well cared for they were

479 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9749 09:59

I was cuddling a cute girl I know, but she kept periodically slipping her hand between my legs and trying to finger me, and it really spoiled the mood.

480 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9749 22:48

I had something like sleep paralysis, and most of my body seemed dead weight. I was also extremely tired, so much so that it was an effort not to fall asleep (asleep within the dream, that is). I was lying at an angle that made it difficult to see the corner of the room in the direction of my feet. When I did twist myself to look, that corner was hidden in unnatural shadow. There was a sound coming from within the shadow.

After several attempts, I shook off some of the paralysis, crawled onto the floor, and pulled myself (my legs did not work) towards that corner, hoping to confront the thing making the noise. I then noticed one of my spare coax cables discarded on the floor. The connector had been neatly disassembled. I knew then that whatever was hidden in the shadow was carefully preparing to cut off all my means of communication with the outside world, and in such a way that repairs could be made later.

As I realized this, I fell asleep. My last thought was that this was certainly a dream, because I had never felt this tired before.

481 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9750 05:05

Running on foot at highway speeds (on a highway) with rent-a-friends trying to get home from my high school (IRL it's a drive along one road that takes about an hour due to rush hour traffic) as soon as possible.

Somehow this led directly to abandoned construction that was falling apart and we were climbing up in it. Good times.

482 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9770 12:28

I was going to make an X-Men movie where superpowers were going to be an allegory for disability and by the end there shouldn't be any superpowers featured in the movie at all (focusing entirely on the human aspect), and it was going to be the best superhero movie ever made.

483 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9795 22:26

I advised my father--who has had more and better booze in a 1960s frat than I will in my entire life--that it's recommended to put a couple drops of water in neat whiskey (okay, that's just an opinion albeit a popular one that many producers of fine whisky endorse or approve) but/so if you mix whiskey and vodka (wtf?) don't bother.

Dream-me also gives bad life advice sometimes too!

484 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9815 19:43

I had a dream that I met an old man with a 1971 Nissan GT-R. He bought it when he was new. He needed some repair help and I gave it to him.

485 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9829 11:51

I dreamed that the Disgaea 1 crew were besieging a McDonald's restaurant and (as usual) Etna had a plan to betray Laharl at the last second and usurp his title. This time she planned to have the support monsters she hired hold him down and give him brain surgery to alter his brain and make him think he was her vassal, but when they opened up his head there wasn't actually a brain in there, just a bunch of little plastic balls with personality traits and motivations and what not written on them. The only relevant alteration she was able to make was to throw away one of the little balls that had "hates McDonalds" written on it.

486 Name: vc: petting : 1993-09-9849 10:09

All I remember is that there was a pig involved. It looked like Waddles from Gravity Falls, not like a real one. Someone picked it up even though a big hawg should be too heavy for that.

(Then I woke up and rolled Circe in FGO. Pathetic, I know.)

(Bonus: the other day I had a dream about trying not to get into Internet arguments after a day of trying not to get into Internet arguments)

487 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9863 01:29

It was all so clear to me. In order to create the perfect set theory, I just needed one extra symbol. It would mean gNot Balder than Gödelh. But what would I call it...

488 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9883 12:39

Soldier 76 is juking around in that goofy Overwatch way that makes the head hitbox spaz out. But this is indoors. Hanzo asks why he's doing that and Soldier just says "You will." as a bullet trail misses.

This comeback seemed a lot more clever while I was asleep.

489 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9883 16:16

i tried to scream but my head was underwater

490 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9918 11:35

Nuclear air raid sirens, and I had to run into the basement to hide. But it ended up being a false alarm somehow.

Later on, a GTA-like dream. My father was killed after his plane got shot down, and to pay off a debt collector, I went into a building and started killing Asian college students.

491 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9935 20:59

I dreamed that I created a fake computer review channel. However, all it reviewed was shovelware and abandonware demo discs from the 1990s.

492 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9935 21:54

>>491
Please follow your dreams

493 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9942 14:45

I had a hand crank gattling gun that I was shooting off in a local grocery store to show off.

494 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9946 08:17

Two incidents of being filmed against my will and having my clothes stolen by hooligans...

495 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9946 20:16

I was in a giant enclosed amusement park with an enormous dome covering it, and one of the rides was a catapult launched glider for two. A fairly nondescript girl took an interest in me while I wandered the place, but then became fascinated with some 8-bit era arcade game about bees, and chose to do that while I flew around in the glider.

Gliding was fun, but I couldn't find her or the bee game after I landed, so I wandered into a small boutique store full of spaceship models and tabletop wargames.

GodDAMN was I disappointed when I woke up.

496 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9946 20:17

What's with the lack of word wrap? Site never had that problem before.

497 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9946 20:22

>>496
It's been added to the "Text Art" formatting option, so as not to break AA in narrow windows.

498 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9947 17:29

had a dream that a friend and I were watching a v

499 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 18:04

Went lucid in my last dream and told some punk who'd been hassling me throughout the dream that when I wake up, he's going to cease to exist.

Punk said "yeah, right." then I woke up.

OWNED!

500 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 19:04

>>499
Cease to exist? No, the punk is alive and well in the dream world. In fact, from his perspective, you're the one who randomly fell over and died! I bet he's laughing at you right now, thinking "What a chump, I bet he didn't realize he's the one who was going to disappear!"

501 Name: (iœjΔͺͺͺ²iœj) : 1993-09-9975 15:56

I had a dream Richard Spencer was making a video on how to make a grilled cheese sandwich in a toaster where he was squatting and looking down at the camera set on the floor. Also his physical form was Louis Theroux, and he said something about how a pickle slice is X mm thick which means you can get Y slices of pickles out of 1 whole pickle.

I went on a walk at midnight then realized I needed to be somewhere, so I started running and there was fat guy walking in a dark alley. He noticed I was running toward him so he tried to jog away afraid I might be trying to mug him or something. He gave up due to being fat and I just ran past him anyway.

And then I was at a bar playing with a Sprite can while waiting for someone and thinking about how if you shook it up and poked 2 diagonal holes on opposite sides it'd spin. I later applied that principle to shooting some sort of zombie creature so it'd spin around from the blood.

There was a massive fire pit dug in someone's yard. Around 8'x20'x15' (WxLxD) and made of brick. It had 3 big bundles of wood in it with some space in between them. We set the fires and kept throwing in dried plant matter to keep it going. I almost fell in after stumbling on the corner of one of the bricks when bringing more plant matter from a nearby hill.

Also at some point between all this there was a modern made map like you'd find on Wikipedia of Khwarazm. It was colored in a medium blue with some surrounding regions in a lighter blue. This was right before the Mongol invasion. This image was "fullscreen"

502 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10010 00:40

My bed was seriously overheating and I had to resolve the fact that a 4 ft tall heater was directly beneath it.

(My body temperature is running a little hot IRL after switching to a more meat-based diet)

503 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10053 11:42

I ate a head-sized portion out of a torso-sized loaf of bread in a few bites, but I was still hungry....

504 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10053 12:16

I left my siblings at a cafe to do some business, but when I returned I found that they were on their way out and had thrown away my giant salty licorice rat. This angered me, and my brother went to buy me a new one, but when I offered to pay because I saw how upset he got, the staff got really pissed off at me...

505 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10060 11:29

A bunch of really primitive 3D character models were bopping to music. The only one I remember distinctly is Cloud from FF7 because he was the most complex model there. Some were SNES sprites that had been voxelized.

(This is the third night in a row involving tunes that came from my head but that I don't remember. A pity, I have trouble inventing those.)

506 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10060 11:48

Im tired and kinda stressed and im going to sleep soon.

507 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10063 20:53

I was living with my uncle, Erwin Rommel from the Wehrmacht, who had a bizarre thing for collecting abortions and miscarriages (not sure if he was eating them or feeding them to his cat). I found one on the pavement, in some weird format that was a mix of an MTG card and a wojak spinoff variant (e.g. "aborted cool wine aunt") (but still representing a physical fetus somehow); the only flavor text I remember is:

>glad that it's dead
>has no nutritional value
>(something about being in a catastrophic state (I think the words "biblical mess" were used))

508 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10067 23:24

People determined social status by comparing wrist-worn water filters by their design, extra features and build quality. The world was all in dark greys and apart from the filters, everyone wore dull black outfits. My filter was functional, quick, but old and most people shunned me.

509 Name: (iœjΔͺͺͺ²iœj) : 1993-09-10067 23:59

In the dream the catgut frets on my instrument were actually made of some sort of plant fiber instead. It had been sitting around in its case for months and I guess the humidity brought some of the plant matter in the frets back to life and they had grown thick roots that looked like bean sprouts with conical subroots growing from them. 2 of the had grown long enough to penetrate the skin membrane on the body of the instrument which made me mad because it's a pain to replace. It was quite disgusting.

510 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10072 08:31

Nuclear war was announced, but apparently only a single bomb was dropped (I was told on either Australia or Denmark, but later it turned out to be a piece of land in Egypt with some ethnic disputes). In preparation for the upcoming evacuation (?), the government started setting up food carts at the nearby gas station, and even airlifted in a weird garbage bin (for whatever reason) using a helicopter.

511 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10072 19:09

I had a nightmare that while vacationing in a foreign vaguely Nordic country a crazy many was stalking me and my friends and family and killing every one of them in front of me just to taunt me. He left me alone though.

512 Name: (iœjΔͺͺͺ²iœj) : 1993-09-10076 15:24

There was some sort of work being done on our front lawn by a man in a hard hat. It seemed to be some electrical work. A large ditch had been dug up that was filled about 3/4 of the way with water on the front of the lawn. The water was presumably from rain. I was talking to the man in the hard hat when I noticed a catfish in the ditch. We decided it must have blown over from a lake by the wind during the rain storm which supposedly happened on some previous day. He told me about how Shad Gaspard was in some Fassbinder movies. A clip played over the dream of an adult Shad Gaspard with a shaved head and some strange goatee on a set that looked similar to Kamikaze 1989. When the dream went back to the front lawn, instead of a catfish it was 3 spiders swimming in the water but this wasn't abnormal or a transformation. It had always been spiders. We were worried since there were multiple spiders they would breed in the water. I harassed one with some sort of object that looked like a really wide, short, slotted bar spoon. Then the man in the hard hat looked at a buried wire and told me that our house was subscribed to Tim and Eric. I didn't want a Tim and Eric subscription and asked if I could get a refund since we didn't actually subscribe. The man in the hard hat said I had to call Tim Heidecker directly and (I think) gave me the phone number. My wife placed the call but couldn't explain the situation properly so Tim thought it was a prank call and treated it like a bad comedy bit. I took the phone and explained the situation clearly, but he kept acting like it was a prank. At that point I knew he was pretending to think it was a comedy bit and just didn't want to cancel the subscription. I think it got cancelled, but I don't recall much after that point.

513 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10076 17:32

I found myself treading water well away from shore. To one side, there was a city block-wide pier of streets and skyscrapers stretching out to the far horizon. No boats though. When I woke up, my legs were out from under the covers.

514 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10077 12:43

Working on cleaning up the grade crossing for the heritage railroad near my grandparents' house, when suddenly three cars (without any locomotive) rushed over the crossing, stopped and went back across it the other way, and then went over it again, over to the other grade crossing which is located in the busiest part of town. A crashing sound and a bunch of honking ensued.

515 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10079 08:45

I wanted to buy candy, but my card got declined and I got a phone call from the NEETbux authority saying that they had been monitoring my spending and had locked my account due to excess candy purchases.

Also later on, somebody created a weird cannon that used ambient air pressure (???) to shoot an inflatable space capsule at the moon. The concept attracted all the tw*tter schizophrenics, who wanted to try it out.

516 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10079 13:34

I got kidnapped by a clown that kept his robotic son alive through the suffering of dying conservatives, being forced to participate in his plans. Other children were with me, resigned to the same fate. I eventually found a bed-vehicle and drove back home, getting to a mattress store on the way and doing drifts in it.

517 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10079 16:31

based clown

518 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10080 00:32

My dream was inappropriate.
I cannot share my dream with DQN, for it would reveal too much of my character to the scrutiny of the Elitist Superstructure.

519 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10080 08:05

I dreamt that channel4 added a special board that was an in-browser 3D world. First thing I tried to do was to figure out how to download and archive the world, but it turned out to be impossible as the world was rendered on the server, with only frames being sent to the browser. So then I just explored for a bit; the world was a weird mix of the internet and the high school I used to go to.

520 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10080 11:43

A red haired woman who identified herself as Brigid, angrily shouted at me. That turned me on. She forced me to trim her bushy red pubic hair, but didn't mind me licking her a little. Then I was looking for mineral water in the corner store, and realized, in long additions errors accumulate in proportion to the square root of the number of terms, not linearly.

521 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10082 18:05

I was eating an incredibly tasty cake, kinda like cheesecake (the non-baked variety) but really it wast just a bunch of fluffy vanilla cream on pie crust.
At the same time, I was listening to a very cool music track, supposedly modified from one of the stock mp3 files bundled with Kareha.
These two events were somehow one and the same thing.

522 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10082 20:51

>>521 That's a cream pie

523 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10087 17:31

Had a dream the gas station I buy cigarettes from hooked up an n64 to their security TV and they were playing Pokémon stadium and I won one of the cups but then the people in line told me that they need to buy gas and I was hogging the line because for some reason you needed to stand in the line at the cash register to play.

524 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10089 10:38

Aside from family drama that was happening, AC Milan opened a university in my small seaside Texan town and they were giving red and black checkered gear and I was considering transferring there.

525 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10090 01:25

Alice from Touhou being really excited for an easter egg hunt

526 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10090 21:26

I forgot what led up to this, but I perceived as fact that a chimpanzee communicated "I AM BURGER HOLE" and that shit was too silly for me to stay asleep

527 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10091 18:54

Usada Pekora invited me to her boudoir after I won some sort of contest, but insisted I put on makeup first. The part I remember is thick white foundation and blue-green eyeshadow, though there was more to it than that. She also gave me a pair of tighty whities to wear.

Putting on makeup is hard, and the dream ended while she was looking at me in disappointment following my earnest attempt.

Note: When conscious, I have never thought of Pekora as particularly desirable. If I could fuck a hololive it would be Lamy.

528 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10105 20:34

Living with my family and various pets in an apartment complex that disallowed them. Our dog escaped, and I went to our ground-floor neighbor to look for it. Even though he seemed very friendly (and almost sad over not being able to help me, seeing as I had been "so nice"), it was heavily implied that he had actually beaten our dog to death with his cane because it had been annoying him, and he knew that we'd be fucked if we went to the custodian for help.

529 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10108 13:02

i and another guy were playing with our dicks in the shower
he managed to jerk me off, but i was not able to figure out the right motions to get him off

i swear i'm not gay...

530 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10119 06:05

I got arrested for hanging around with high school kids, I was a high school kid, until I was getting arrested.

531 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10129 08:38

Due to strict noise ordinances in our area, some guy remote-teaching a class and talking too loudly (or using a buzzer/bell, can't remember) was technically committing a grave felony, and some of my neighbors went outside in the middle of the night to go looking for him. I tagged along, but while trying to find him I accidentally ran too loudly, and was admonished for it. I decided to go back to my house first (and maybe bring along a sibling or two), but as I touched the front door it opened and there was no one inside it.

532 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10130 08:56

The only thing I remember is walking outdoors with my new birketstocks.

533 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10134 09:28

Dreamt about buying jeans again.

534 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10149 18:27

Had a dream that I was looking for a youtube channel that had a small video series about exploring bike paths in my old hometown, but I couldn't find it. Woke up to discover that I couldn't find it in real life either (probably didn't exist in the first place).

535 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10150 15:37

I was playing a PC strategy space sim from the DOS days where you spent years going from star to star trying to find a new home planet. The actual trip spiraled through a real star map and gave me the uncomfortable feeling of flushing the human race down a toilet.
I limped into the farthest star system on the map on fumes, found a perfect new earth, and the endgame was so unsatisfying that I felt like my crew and colonists were the loneliest bastards in the whole universe.

I kinda want to make that game now, except not so depressing.

536 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10198 15:25

I have started taking sleeping medication and I have been having extremely vivid dreams except instead of the extreme nightmares most people have they have been extremely mundane.

For example, last night my dream was about having a cigarette and enjoying it.

537 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10198 18:20

>>536
What a coincidence. Last night I dreamt about smoking a paper cigarette and feeling some guilt for doing it in a non-smoking area even though everyone around insisted there was no tobacco so it's fine.
(I have never smoked in my life and likely never will. Can't, lungs too shitty which is probably why I dreamt this. This only added to the discomfort and absolutely unrealistic experience of taking huge drags for practically no burn.)

538 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10199 13:43

I was in three different SOL comedy animes.
In the first I was working at Mc›nald's and it was unsanitary and disorganized. My co-workers mocked me for starting my acting career as an extra in 2002, which they claimed was "the same year as Fatal Attraction 2" (wut?), so I got to wear "Fatal Attraction 2 2.0" on my name tag. I failed to organize files for the assistant manager. I wanted to quit on the second day, meeting the owner at a fancy skyscraper party and realizing it was never going to get better. Oddly enough, I don't remember any food or kitchen equipment.
I forgot the second as soon as I woke up. I was sure it had good bits, and that's why I remember there were three.
The third was school themed and the best of the bunch. Everything from senpai criticizing my font selection (on hilariously politically incorrect pun signs to put on classrooms, which I wish I could remember) by printing it the wrong color to my elementary school best friend improvising a 5-minute EDM piece with a massive drop in the middle of a lunch conversation about arthritis ("Pianist's -ts -ts -ts -ts -ts ... [...] ... FINGER").

539 Name: vc: napezz : 1993-09-10201 15:28

In a game exactly like Overwatch but with different characters there was a stage magician guy/gal whose ult killed you by psychically reminding your character of its most embarrassing academic performance.
One unexplained transition later, I'm back in high school getting back homework at the end of the year, and cookies.
Another unexplained transition and we're at a black market of sorts where you have to buy your embarrassing homework back.
And finally I'm walking about in college and we're having a laugh discussing the magician character because some of the characters are dumb as fuck and wouldn't be affected by something like that.
(I have regrets about 22 years of schooling, yes)

540 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10204 18:19

Me and a friend were on a day trip to Scotland.
I lied to a friend in uni about playing youth football for Celtic and he demanded me to eventually produce proof which made me wonder if I should have lied about playing for a smaller club like Partick Thistle or Falkirk. then on the bus transfer to London there was a really creepy guy at the stop so we just stayed on the bus until we couldn't anymore and then we were eventually stranded in Edinburgh trying not to get killed and looking for people who were awake but not dangerous.

541 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10204 20:41

>>540 Sounds like Gordon Ramsay

542 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10243 23:01

I had two dreams that I feel were worth cataloguing lately. You guys should try glycine + l-theanine before bed for dreammaxxing.

  1. I remember this because before bed I said a quick prayer, which I hadn't done in a long time, especially not a Christian prayer: "Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Amen." and was asleep immediately.

I was walking in the woods and had been lost for days, when I stumbled into a clearing and came upon a small village and fell over on the outskirts. An Orthodox priest with a long gray beard found me, noted the state I was in, and invited me to eat and rest with him. He took me to the local village tavern, we sat down and were about to order when I realized I didn't have my wallet or any money with me, and excused myself from the table and snuck off. After doing that I woke up immediately and couldn't get back to sleep even though I had only slept for like 3 hours at that point. I actually believe this was real and that he could have shared some kind of wisdom with me if only I had been humble enough to accept a free meal from someone of a different faith, or to let him "save" me, so to speak. Since then I've been afraid that this was God sending me a test and I failed it.

2. A friend got me a job on a fishing boat. The captain was an austere early 50s no-nonsense type woman with a secret soft side and the entire dream was in kind of a Japanese-Portuguese pidgin which for some reason was the commonly accepted jargon of sailors and fishermen in this world. There were a lot of distinct adventures: we docked in an indistinctly oriental/chinese-y trading port to offload fish, which was then locked down due to the murder of a high ranking official which we had to solve to be able to leave, we braved a sea storm, I discovered the captain's "secret soft side" by giving her a pair of earrings for her birthday when she normally didn't wear any jewelry or makeup. I woke up a couple times over the course of the night to pee and then got back into bed and fell right back asleep and continued the dream from where it left off.

543 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10247 03:15

I had a dream. I'm watching a late night tv, without ads and a slightly boring yet interesting movie is playing. Something about a male and a female in a big city setting, and they look like they are good with guns or something, even if they never used them on screen. I fall asleep, sleep for 5-10 min or so, wake up again, and turn tv on. Then there is something about a nude dancer with very energetic moves, and another woman who is less insane. Fall asleep, wake up. Those two finally meet, everything looks like it's the end of the world or it's all in her mind, because sky is very weird, purple and alien. Fall asleep, wake up, apparently this was some kind of trial for those two gun people, I see them with some kind of tubes near them freshly removed, probably from gas masks or something. Next those two are in a snowy park, and I'm the girl one of those two. We see a plastic "cone", white with red top, that holds another slightly bigger cone on top / inside of itself, and that one holds yet another, this whole construction kind of reminds me of icecream. We are a bit sad. He takes one red top and goes ahead, I decide to not give up and hold the whole structure. It is twice my height, but it's mostly hollow, so it's not that heavy, just very uncomfortable to hold. Also it is made from plastic, it gleams a bit. People around me look slightly amused at the sight of me holding it, which kind of amuses me. We move out of the park, one of the roads out of it is only wide enough for one person and is simply walked-on-snow. It is also L shaped for some reason. I try to cut courner by walking on snow instead of that road, I kind of fall a bit more than knee deep into it near the end, but get to the road just fine. I don't think I hold that cone anymore. I sit on the edge of that road, trying to wash dirt away from my clothes with snow. I stand in the snow, but fall deeper than I expected, now only my hand is visible outside, and only a bit of it. I start screaming for help, and afraid to move at all to not sink even deeper. Some old lady grabs my hand and starts to pull. But she slips or something, and we both fall, this time there is twice my height of snow above us. I can hear the guy and a few other people starting to dig, but they aren't sure where we are. We can breathe, but it's cold, and for some reason we think cold causes cancer. I wake up. I'm walking on the street, making my way through busy street traffic. I think "what a cool dream, I need to write it down". Then I think "Am I really awake? Could I still see a dream on the go? I probably could." I try to wake up, and I do, this time I'm sleeping in my bed. I turn on my computer and start typing this.

544 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10263 19:28

i had a dream of a dream that i once had whilst dreaming however in my dream i was dreaming of thigs one could only dream of doing in dreams to awake from my slumber into a dream about dreaming duplicated dreams which made me doze off into another dream o a dream that i once had

545 Name: vc: sefation : 1993-09-10281 06:19

Marching through somewhere under a bizarre bridge, where some Imperial soldiers are freefiring on us, hopelessly outnumbered but untouchable and under the direct command of the Emperor (whom I believed to be the same as the one from Skyrim's Dark Brotherhood quest). I fired a bit to the side of him and it gets him in the fucking eye, killing him instantly. Takes a minute for the Imperials to realize the improbable has happened, but they stop shooting once they realize.

Years later, his replacement is some glutton named Crassus who looks like Vizzini and nowhere near as chill as the previous guy. The DB sends two of us and Mei to navigate his trap-filled dungeon of a house (in that cheesy Roman architecture that's more Hollywood than reality). It's not my mission, actually it's the other DB's. We other two are there to hold switches down and wall off his servants. It goes down without a hitch; he was caught by surprise in his bath, which was attached to a spinning secret wall. Given that some servant-lady delivered it just as we got there, he was expecting a snack, not a daedric dagger in the chest.

546 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10315 12:10

Dreamed of, and please don't laugh, "Harry Potter and the Nuclear Holocaust". Which was some plotline about wizards inadvertently causing the global financial communications network (???) to shut down and not restoring it in time, leading to the bombs dropping and all the 1st world nations being at each others' throats.

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