>>300
You believers are all stark raving madfellows. I don't mind that you believe a fictional two-dimensional character born of a light novel is lord. But you're destroying society with your ridiculous beliefs. You Haruhi fundamentalist psychotics are so power-mad you stop at nothing. Willful ignorance, intimidation, suppression of information...I feel like /dqn/ is back in the dark ages!! If it was up to you I bet you fools would hold an Inquisition and burn and torture non-believers, despite all your claims that Haruhi is a loving God. Well answer me this. If Haruhi is so powerful why is she so tsundere for boring-ass straight-man Kyon? What kind of Lord shows such human weakness? And if she's so real why does she never answer my daily prayer to lose my virginity?
>>302
Go exploring somewhere you've never been and tell us what you find.
It's too late tonight to bake anything, but here's some bread I made a while back:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v109/naoh37/pan006.jpg
Despite looking a little odd, it was really tasty!
Go outside, find the brightest/prettiest star you can see, then look up its name and report to us.
>>304
With the city lights here, the only constellation I can see this morning is Orion. To the left of that is a star I had heard of but I never knew its exact location until now (DQN taught me something, lol).
Reading up on it, I learned that Sirius (also known as the Dog Star) is a main sequence star a mere 8.6 light years from earth and has a white dwarf twin in its orbit. I did know this before, but it's a fun fact: ancient Greeks believed heat from this star in the night sky contributed to the "dog days of summer."
>>306
Find a hilariously long German word and tell us the meaning of it. The longer the better.
>>305
"Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft"
means:
"association of subordinate officials of the head office management of the Danube steamboat electrical services"
>>307
I demand that you demand that you demand that you that you that you you you you y---@:A~T&$#YR$*&Y{=[NO CARRIER]
That's it, show's over guys.
>>308, I take it you can "take care of" any witnesses, yeah?
>>308
What a coincidence; I'd just finished work on my "Put new tires on an AE86 Toyota Corolla and drift until the rear tires pop" simulator v1.0. You'll probably have to download Python to run it.
http://www.mediafire.com/?7crxwhn9cp2wrma
http://www.python.org/getit/
>>310
I demand that you find me a better programming language than Python.
>>309
I found a few.
HQ9+ is superior to Python because it can pass the four standard programming language tests ("hello world", quine, "99 Bottles of Beer", increment) with a lot less code than Python.
http://www.esolangs.org/wiki/HQ9_Plus
Piet is aesthetically superior to Python because the programs are colorful abstract art.
http://www.dangermouse.net/esoteric/piet.html
Shakespeare is aesthetically superior to Python because the programs resemble Shakespeare plays.
http://shakespearelang.sourceforge.net/
>>311
I demand you write something in an esoteric programming language.
>>311
Here you go, in all its unkempt glory.
http://i.imgur.com/CsuWt.jpg
>>313
Smile for me if you can.
>>312
I only took it because I love you, >>312-san.
http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/3830/1105110121.jpg
>>314
Write a poem and post it!
>>313
It's a song I wrote, but it started as a poem:
Never not a blank thought, because it terrifies
C'est la vie, share the feeling, asking If I'm blind
Just because se cannae see the freshly-tarmacced roads
(A hint for question 23: "I love you loads")
The only way to think straight
Is to go around the side
Don't say you lived
When you've only just survived
65,538
We're alive for more than just to procreate
So I said "Okay, I know" but then my glider stalled
So I turned and ran back up my waterfall
The only way to think straight
Is to go around the side
Don't say you lived
When you've only just survived
[ring modulated bass solo]
The only way to think straight
Is to go around the side
Don't say you lived
When you've only just survived
>>314
http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/9/dqnsmile.jpg
>>316
I demand you write your post without looking at the screen or keyboard, except for the captcha. If this is too easy, cross your hands too.
>>315 maybe cos it's datk but you have better teeth than i expecrted from a fokyuin
??317 was 69b ass, wash yohair, veyag ti twwth (o wkkwaw you'll be gtjy)
(aww, off to a good start but i lost my positioning on the keyboard for the demand)
>>319
I vowed to fulfill your demand if nobody had posted after I got home from work, so here you go!
http://iiichan.net/boards/music/src/DQNfreestyle.mp3
Lyrics:
The internet's not a place to be serious
Let's chill, you know, just be mysterious
Copy and paste, that's how I roll
I don't really care if it gets outta control
You posers be thinking while I be feelin
Rappin' up and down from the floor to the ceilin'
You say "VIP" but I'm a DQN
Born on a farm and raised by a hen
Motherfuckers wait all night for quality
I don't wait, I make it, who cares, let's be free
If you care too much you'll be sad and bored
If you just let it go freedom's your reward
Posers be thinking while I be feelin
Rappin' up and down from the floor to the ceilin'
You say "VIP" but I'm DQN
Born on a farm and raised by a hen
>>321
Remix it!
>>320 Golly gosh, that was life-affirming! Whether or not anyone posts after this I'm going to remix it anyway, but I have a job interview now. Or anyone else can remix it too, I'm going to do a weird ambient remix
http://www.kindaikobo.com/staffblog/?p=239
Please comment.
>>327 I just graduated at university and am now on the dole, though I have started up a record label with a friend and the future is quite exciting. On one hand i don't like taking handouts, and I was a bit disappointed my job interview yesterday didn't go well, but on the other hand i like having time to work on my folio and other projects
>>329 post a download link to your, if push comes to shove, alltime favourite album
>>328
http://mediafiresharing.blogspot.com/2009/09/frog-pocket-gonglot.html
>>330
Listen to the whole album once and review it.
>>329
This is an album which, unlike your typical IDM album, conveys some warm feelings besides chaotic and other colder feelings. While it gives you a sense of hope and reminds your emotional self that everything can and will be alright, it also tells you that nothing's easy. This is a feeling which reminisces of World's End Girlfriend.
Its Celtic and dreamy feel isn't overshadowed by its more chaotic sense of emergency, there's a balance here, between what's good and what's complicated in life. It's an album surely many can relate to, as it tells a tale of ups and downs, of dreams and hopes, of living life to it's fullest.
It gives off that intense feeling that you are, one day, going to die, and that you need to make the most out of your life. That you shouldn't waste away your life with idle thoughts, but you should however, have fun in your life. It's important that you do something, that you struggle for everything you want. This is indeed the sense of emergency it conveys.
Vaedre is, in my personal opinion, the best sounding thing in the album, it's a bit like the artist decided to take everything he wanted to put in the album, and decided to make one final push towards showing his true message. And then along comes Sea Angel Lament, with sadder, tiresome feelings creeping through. It's the end of the journey.
All in all, this album could mean nothing to most, and it surely will, but anyone, when given the appropriate time and peace of mind could find everything they want to hear in it. Just like in every other album ever made.
>>331
I command thee to be my friend. My MSN is rupertmariejohanson(at)hotmail(dot)com, if you don't have MSN just e-mail me and let's talk via e-mail.
>>330 I sent you a wee message :3
>>332 record a little message for us using http://audioboo.fm/
>>331
http://audioboo.fm/boos/538737-332
>>333
Make this GET a good one! Other than that, feel free to do whatever.
>>333 well actually I was going to say, before I saw your demand (as I had to click view whole post) that when >>332's recording stopped, I sat for a few minutes in quiet contemplation of what I had just heard, and went on quite a deep mental journey thinking about lots of things, the song seemed to inspire lots of memories within me, and also made me think about the future. Funnily enough I did think about my hands for a bit; I have a date tomorrow with the girl I'm quite certain I shall marry, and she has a thing about my hands, and I was thinking about the time we've spent staring at our interlocked hands. Woah, like, contemplating my hands deep within a meditation on a higher level or something.
Hope you don't mind >>332 if i post this direct link so i can download your recording. http://audioboo.fm/boos/538737-332.mp3 I like you voice. It makes me feel cosy and safe.
>>334 Come find yourself.
>>336 I demand that you add me on MSN! Pidgin is sometimes weird, so if I don't accept, send me an email ~
>>338
I'm going to assume you were talking to me. My favourite mathematical theorem is our dear friend the quadratic formula. I knew it off by heart within a week of being taught it, and frightened small children by repeating it in monotone and telling them that was the sort of thing you had to memorise in maths.
>>340
I demand that you do not in any way mention, hint at or allude to the fact that >>333 says "300" instead of "333".
>>346
Jealous mother takes a life
A life she once held dear
Hides the books of memory
Without a single tear
But when she sees the old piano
It all comes flowing back
Cakes and kids and memory drops
Can't stop guilt and regret
>>348
Find the episode/show this is from. Hint: the poem can be used as lyrics for the episode's theme music.
>>348
Sorry, after I posted I realized my demand was a bit silly and regretted it. If you search youtube for Clonico it might be the second result or so?
Anyway, two semi-amusing anecdotes to make up for how neither is that amusing:
I was at an event with a friend when A reporter came up and interviewed us. I didn't speak much and let my friend answer all the questions. When the paper came out, it quoted me as saying everything my friend had said, and didn't mention him at all.
I asked a group of middle schoolers to choose what they would take to survive on a deserted island from a collection of things. 20% of them chose a dog -- to use as food. Three of them chose the gun -- to kill themselves.
>>350
Tell me an average anecdote!
>>349 i was on one of those camgirl sites the other night, you know where they go on webcam to shake their jiggly bits and i've mucked about a few times the past few days but this time i went in and there was a woman slapping her bum-bum and other guys saying things like "mmm bb u so fine" and "take it off" and she seemed to be enjoying the attention, then I said "I'M GONNA FEED MY CHILDREN NON-ORGANIC FOOD, AND WITH THE MONEY SAVED TAKE THEM TO THE ZOO" and she stopped gyrating, closed her legs, sat up with a confused look on her face and scratched her head a bit, and all the conversation died. Then she lay down again and gradually got back into the swing of things, so i left because i just wasn't interested any more.
>>351 post the nicest thing anyone's ever said to
>>351
I can't actually think of anything other than a pretty standard "you are fucking retarded and should stop posting until you understand the community better because you're making all of us look like dicks" aimed at me and some other guys on another board. Day 1 registrant elitists are good at throwing that kind of drama out after some years, I've found.
IRL, I was always that quiet guy sitting in the back. I didn't really get any comments at all. Nobody liked me, but nobody hated me enough to call me names either. I've changed a bit since then but the people I've done stuff with since then were too mature for namecalling. Probably for the better.
>>353
Post the meanest thing you've ever said to someone, and reflect on if it was truly appropriate or just a heat of the moment thing.
>>352
Oh, god. There were so many brutal comments exchanged between my first ex and I (we were 14 and 16, respectively) I can't even begin to enumerate them. Putting two vindictive, bi-polar, narcissistic, intelligent cynics together is the worst idea ever. Maybe the meanest thing I'd said was when I went off about how she should, in all honestly, just kill herself and save me all her problems. Or something as simple as, a few years later, giving a calm dissertation on why I hate her, the way she thinks, the people she knows and the life she leads.
None of it was appropriate. I could definitely have afforded to be a better friend after we'd broken up and she'd moved away. But I was just tired of being someone she constantly depended on to cry about situations she got herself into, soon thereafter hounding me for not knowing what the fuck I could say that she wouldn't immediately disregard.
>>354
Tell us your opinion of yourself.
>>354
A cursory check reveals that it seems to be up right now. Unless by "up" you mean "up in quality", which I doubt will ever happen.
>>356
Post your five oldest bookmarks.
(I don't know about other browsers but firefox can sort bookmarks by date added; it's a little harder if you have lots of folders, but you can just spend a couple minutes copying everything into one temporary folder and then sort it.)
I'm on safari so just doing it by memory
I woke up 2 hours ago at 3pm, and i've been talking to a hot babe online since I got up. I also went for a jobby and read my Sgt. Frog book while i was there. I might go play some infamous and i might go buy doughnuts too.
>>360 buy yourself a big cake and eat it all
>>359
I couldn't find a cake so I bought a big castella and ate it all instead. It was castella quality!
http://i.imgur.com/1M8bB.jpg
>>361
Post with a prime number of words.
>>368
http://tanasinn.info/wiki/Title
I contributed a couple tracks!
But you've probably already seen that so I'll show you something else I'm proud of.
http://agargara.iiichan.net/misc/swhj/195.html
>>371
Spend an hour reading through a random friend's social network history, preferably somebody you don't really know, then post a one-paragraph summary of that person's life here. If you're not into social networking then spend an hour going through some random person's livejournal.
>>370
This person is currently not in relationships (apparently he dreams about the day when he finally finds a woman of easy virtue with well-developed secondary sex characteristics). He has a new car which was a gift from his parents (he boasts about it, yet he complains about lack of funds). He visits nightclubs often (he likes RnB and dubstep). Either he has low salary or he is "between jobs".
>>372
Make a video of you playing Touhou.
>>373
I was going to play KOLM II but it told me to play KOLM I first so I played Freeway Fury 2 instead.
A brief opening comic-style cinematic explains the protagonist's motivation. An impatient athletic commuter stuck in traffic is overtaken by Fury. He punches his way out of his car and begins leaping from vehicle to vehicle -- to escape what turns out to be surprisingly light traffic. The moment our road-raging anti-hero crashes through a windshield, rather than swerve out of control and crash, the vehicle actually continues in a straight line, and even begins to speed up. Some sort of mysterious power awards him with "nitro" for these violent invasions of private property.
Not only can this madman leap ridiculously long distances and instantly take control of any vehicle, he is also gifted with control over time itself. Truly this man's fury has gone beyond any mortal road rage, and entered the realm of the occult. He has clearly traded his life for the unholy ability to slow time. And so he proceeds, remorselessly smashing and leaping, destroying all cars in his path. The bloodshed only feeds his strength.
But at the end of it all, when the hero has crossed the finish line and arrived at his terminus, perhaps he will begin to reflect. As his demonic road-rage subsides, he will slowly being to realize the consequences of his actions. When he closes his eyes he will see broken skulls, lifeless eyes, motherless children, childless mothers. Was the havoc he wreaked worth the few precious minutes he spared? All those lives lost, families destroyed, commuters inconvenienced? But it is too late for repentance. His soul is forever lost. He is beyond forgiveness, doomed to a Sisyphean life of ceaseless freeway destruction.
Apparently some sort of boss appears after completing all possible routes, but I quit after completing the main route. I can only assume that the "boss" is the protagonist forced to confront his inner demons. Overwhelmed by the monster he's become, he is faced with the choice of harnessing the last bit of humanity left deep inside of him to destroy himself, or fully completing his transformation into a Chaos God.
>>375
Reply to five different threads in /love/ with esoteric advice.
>>374
Okay then:
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1319120416/20
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1318968831/11
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1321350138/6
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1223204821/48
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1310938293/10
>>376
I demand that you give a detailed account of the worst physical injury you have ever received.
>>375
I was at daycare. We were outside, where the caretakers wouldn't have to be fucked to keep us entertained. Two of my pals were sitting on either end of the teeter-totter.
"Come play with us, ( ˃ ˂)!"
But there are only two seats on the teeter-totter... where was I to sit? And that's when I proved that I am DQN. I decided, "I'll just sit in the middle! It won't be comfortable, but at least I'll be in the good company of my chums!"
So I ran. And I tripped. And, with my mouth open, my two front teeth in my upper gums were driven deep within my mouth on the cold, taunting steel of the teeter-totter. My teeth were now lodged in the depths of gums, and I was reduced to a mess of blood and screams. My friends and I panicked and the teachers called my mother.
>>376
Do you like teeter-totters? Tell me, >>376. Describe how you feel about teeter-totters.
Well >>376, I guess you're talking to me and not yourself but I will ask, has that given you a phobia about teeter-totters in the rest of your life? We call them "seesaws" here. I guess I like them though I've never spent much time on one. I used to have this plastic all-in-one kind of seesaw when i was really wee, but I rarely played on it. I often filled it up with water though, there was a hole in the bottom I'd stick the garden hose in. One time I stuck it in, and hanked it so it stayed inside it filling it up with water. Then my mum called me in for dinner, so I left it and went and sat at the table to eat my dinner. After a few minutes there was a sudden loud crack as the hose hit the window and sprayed water everywhere as it did the kind of dance that only garden hoses spraying water with some force can do. I shat myself.
>>378 what is your favourite condiment?
>>379
I played Popotan when I was 19. It was in Japanese, so I kind of loitered around hoping for the best. It was pretty cute. I enjoyed the idea of me being closer to characters of Caramelldansen than most of the nerds who visited that certain flash board.
>>381
Judge >>379 for his choice of music and make >>378 change his mind in favour of All Alone for Christmas (pmix) by Captain Obvious. It might be obvious for us, but it will certainly take commoners by surprise.
>>380 okay
>>379 It's a good song but Bach is too damn obvious. >>378 should instead go with captain obvious. A Bach prelude in a DJ set is just gonna make people sigh and shake their heads, but All Alone for Christmas is not only appropriate considering the situation, but will give those uncultured swine a real taste of our finely-honed traditional music. Also as a user of DQN it is your duty and refusing to comply will mean that we'll always recognize >>378 as a traitor, a plebeian and a no-good scallywag.
>>382 Marathon no less than 5 films where Nicolas Cage plays the lead role and tell us the impact this had on your fragile psyche.
>>382
I lived for 15 years with a father who suffered early-onset dementia. It's part of the reason I can be so cold and detached as to feel zero remorse for any act of questionable morality. Also, I took on his degenerative, solitary behavior to the point where I've become a hikikomori.
>>384
Commit a random act of generosity in your MMO of choice by gifting a valuable item or appreciable amount of currency.
I went in to the central square in tinierme and gave away nice items of clothing to people hanging about and now my heart feels warm
>>385 Give me a phrase to spell out with my tongue on my girlfriend's pussy tomorrow nigt.
Solenoid Robots: Mmm! Buzz! Click! Buzz! Click! When we trap Roger Mmm! Buzz! Click! Buzz! Click! Buzz! Click! Ramjet, we are now rulers. Buzz! Click! Buzz! Click!
>>389, tell us what's in your pockets.
>>390
I know who you are and this is more than you deserve.
http://i.imgur.com/7AlHX.jpg
>>392
Draw me a picture of Patchouli from Touhou project wearing a Santa hat and a santa suit, please~
>>395
I believe in killing rats. They've plagued us for countless generations and for the first time in our history we are presented with technology that may at last end the menace: genetic engineering, a century of biological weapons research, and Ron Paul with an honest chance at the Republican nomination. This will free us from all the harmful regulation that has stopped us from pursuing my ultimate goal. RON FUCKING PAUL: FOR A RAT-FREE FUTURE.
>>397
Draw me a rat celebrating its last miserable Christmas in our bright new future!
>>396
One valiant rat making his last futile Christmas stand.
http://i.imgur.com/MaLFV.png
>>398
Buy yourself a Christmas present under $5 and tell us what you got.
>>398 http://rigelseven.com/dqn/All%20Alone%20For%20Christmas%20(As%20Usual)%20~Parked%20mix~%20-%20dqn-kun.mp3
>>400
Get 400GET in an original way.
>>399 http://vocaroo.com/?media=vXBmye1KciGVDISYL
>>401 Get in the swing, pal!
>>406
I have never listened to Iron Maiden and likely never will, therefore I will tell you my favourite Shrine Maiden song. By which I mean Project Shrine Maiden. By which I mean Touhou. Anyway, it's "Bloom Nobly, Ink-black Cherry Blossoms ~ Border of Life". Can't go wrong with a name like that.
>>408
I demand that you post your favourite piece of punctuation and why you like it.
>>410 I had a shrine at my old flat to my ex girlfriend, it had a fair bunch of her hairs and some of her makeup she left and hair bobbles and the tights i ripped off her the night i met her and pictures of her and a couple of her tampons and blood stained tissue papers and cans she'd drank from. There was a photo of her tampon right here on /dqn/ somewhere that i posted after i licked it the first time (it took some courage to finally do it cos i'd thought about it for a long time but I'm glad i did, it tasted nice)
>>411 give us the 411 on the situation in your bowels right now!
>>412
Mister Kibble whistled tunelessly as he carefully attached seventeen Happy Pins to his corduroy vest. The vest was already vested with 183 such joyous proclamations, with phrases like "SMILE HAPPY!" and "LET'S FUN!" Not one of them was without an exclamation point. Yesterday had been a slow day, Mister Kibble reflected, but it was important to always replenish the Happiness. You never knew when you might need to give out all 200 pins in one day!
Satisfied with his pinnage, Mister Kibble pulled on the vest, strapped on his Balloon Belt, donned his Happy Hat, and began his greeting practice. "Hello, how are you? No, too aggressive. Hello, how are you? Too creepy. Hello, how are you? There we go. How are you? How are you? Hello! You! How are you? You look happy today! I think you deserve a Happy Pin!" Satisfied, Mister Kibble double checked his supplies one last time and bravely stepped out into the cold gray morning.
Marco stared nervously without hunger at his apple pie. As the waitress walked past she glanced at the uneaten morsel but said nothing. Marco wondered if she saw him shaking. He felt like he was shaking but wasn't sure. Marco was trying to avoid looking at the door but couldn't help watching it in his peripheral vision.
The door swung open and the bell rang. Marco involuntarily jumped in his seat. He felt like he was sweating. A large figure stepped through the door and said, "Morning, Nancy! How's the Happiness today?" Marco stared meaningfully at his pie. It did not give him an appetite. Out of the corner his eye, he saw that the big man was coming his way. Shit. He knew it. Big Nate was fed up with Marco and had sent somebody to do the dirty work. This was it. This Applebee's would be his graveyard.
The large man slowly sidled up and loomed over Marco's table. Marco slowly turned his gaze from the pie to the giant's deadly smiling face. "Hello, how are you?" asked Mister Kibbles. Marco simply stared, his wide eyes filled with mortal fear. "You look a little down, so let's turn that frown upside-down!" Mister Kibbles right hand began to reach down and back toward his Balloon Belt. Marco's eyes carefully followed the hand's trajectory, then suddenly leaped up onto his seat and backed up into the corner, cowering in fright.
"No, please! No!" he cried. Everybody in the diner turned and stared. The quiet murmur of cursory conversation died. "Please! Take anything! Just not my life!" But Mister Kibbles did not blink. Without any change in his demeanor, he pulled out a gun from the back of his Balloon Belt.
"This oughta cheer you up," he said with a wide smile on his face, pressing the barrel against Marco's sweat-soaked forehead. Marco swallowed. The waitress gasped. Coffee went unpoured. Pie went uneaten. Mister Kibbles pulled the trigger.
Marco's brains painted the wall. His corpse slowly sunk down into the booth, no longer shaking with fear. Mister Kibbles took a pin that said "HAPPY DAY!" off his corduroy vest and attached it to Marco's sweater.
"Have a nice day!" Mister Kibbles said, tipping his Happy Hat. He turned to face the diner, whose patrons were staring in shock. "Who wants a balloon animal?"
>>414
Rewrite my story.
>>413
It's been a slow day for Mister Kibble. Mister Kibble, known for his protection of Happiness, had only managed to protect Happiness 17 times. It was hopeless. But tomorrow will be different, Kibble murmurs in his sleep. Tomorrow will be different.
As Mister Kibble wakes up, he decided to restock his supply of Happiness. You see, Kibble's vest has room for 200 Happy Pins. Yesterday's events left this at 183. With his mission to make today a great day, he decided that he'd need all 200 of them. Making sure to have an even distribution between "SMILE HAPPY!" and "LET'S FUN!" pins, he replenished the stock on his vest. After seconds of silence, he practiced his ritual of Happiness. As he uttered the phrase "Hello, how are you!?" several dozen times, he realized that today's Happiness will be good enough to make it work.
Meet Marco. This fine morning, Marco was eating apple pie. Or trying to, at least. Marco's appetite wasn't good enough to eat, upsetting the waitress. Marco's only center of focus was the door, waiting for whatever would come on.
Mere moments later, Mister Kibble rang the bell and ran through the door, destroying it in the process. The concept of doors simply wasn't Happy enough for him. "Hey, Nancy, today will be a great day for Happiness!" Nancy shook her head at the idea of having to replace the door.
Mister Kibble looked around the Applebees, looking for their famous apple bees. He didn't find any. This enraged Mister Kibble into a state of Happiness. Marco didn't appreciate Happiness at the moment; after all, he still had some apple pie in front of him without having enough hunger to eat. It's the worst predictment that one can be in. So close to perfect Happiness, yet so incredibly far away. It makes one incredibly unhappy at the sheer thought.
As Mister Kibble noticed the perfect Happiness being left alone by one in a sheer state of Unhappiness, Mister Kibble knew he had to do something. He'd have to interject for a moment. This was his moment. His day hadn't even started yet and he was already close to failing his mission for the second day in a row.
Mister Kibble charged at Marco, gaining Marco's complete attention in the process. Mister Kibble said his stock catchphrase of "Hello, how are you!?" several dozen times, capturing the attention of everyone in the immediate vicinity. "You look a little down, so let's turn that frown upside-down!", he uttered. This was Kibble's moment of complete Happiness protection. Looking for his Balloon Belt, Mister Kibble accidently touched his spare toy gun, dropping it in the process. As the entire crowd looked at it, they ran away, driving Mister Kibble to complete desperation.
Fortuanetely, Mister Kibble noticed the apple pie and ate it all in one big gulp. Yummy! The delicious apple pie revitalized Mister Kibble. However, Marco was scared. The idea of having his apple pie eaten by somebody with a toy gun wasn't his cup of tea. Marco leaped up on his seat and backed into the corner, cowering in fright, awaiting what would happen next.
Mister Kibble was clearly preparing a speech of some kind. Mere seconds later, Mister Kibble proclaimed "Ah, apple pie. Without this pie, my day would've been ruined. But even with, we have here an typical example of that which cannot be saved. That which cannot be helped. That which cannot be healed. That which cannot be nurtured. That which cannot even eat his apple pie anymore. That without hunger. That without happy pins. That without Happiness. The complete opposite of what one can possibly stand for. There is only one solution, and you aren't a part of it."
As Marco tried to say something, Mister Kibble interrupted him and went on with his speech. "Color is the prime way to express Happiness. A human contains lots of color; any pie does this as well. Life in general is full of color. However, you don't seem to be so colorful at the moment. My duty calls here; it will express itself in mere seconds. Please wait."
(continued in >>415)
(continued from >>414)
Mere seconds later, Mister Kibble pulled out a gun very similar to his toy gun from his Balloon Belt, without even wincing once. "This is my duty, and you will not interfere with it", he said as he pushed the barrel against Marco's smiling forehead. The bar shaked in terror at the thought of what could happen next.
Mister Kibble pulled the trigger very, very slowly, causing Marco's forehead to turn into a puddle of sweat within seconds. The gun didn't go off; maybe it was another toy gun? Mister Kibble had seemingly prepared another speech for this moment. "You see, sometimes, not all desperation leads to the end of one's life. In some mere moments, you have been revitalized. I have a present for you; let me hand you it. Change your life after you receive this present, or something bad might happen." Mister Kibble took off a "HAPPY DAY!" pin from his vest and gave it to Marco.
The entire bar clapped as Mister Kibbles was slowly walking out of the door. Or rather, the location where a door would've been. The clapping stopped, angering Mister Kibbles and causing him to rush back into the bar.
"YOU HAVE ANGERED ME FOR THE LAST TIME! I AM THE PRIME DEFENDER OF HAPPINESS. YOU KNOW WHO I AM. YOU KNOW WHO I CAN BE. YOU KNOW WHAT NOT TO DO. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. YOU'RE NOT DOING IT. YOU'RE DOING THAT WHICH YOU SHOULDN'T. YOU SHALL EACH MEAT YOUR DOOM!", Mister Kibbles shouted. "But first, who wants a balloon animal?" As the crowd realized what was about to happen, they kept quiet. "Nobody... nobody? I can make you a dog, a cat, a lovely turtle or even an Espeon!" Still, he didn't receive a response. This was desperate; the entire bar with infected with Unhappiness. He knew that only one measure would work.
Mister Kibbles took a machine gun out of his pocket and shot everyone, followed by himself. With a full 199 happy pins remaining, his day had ended. This was his worst day yet. Even his Happy Hat fell off. The end.
>>416
Compare both versions of the story and indicate which one you prefer the most.
>>415 Hmm i liked the original better. As I was reading yours I thought "hmmm he is just re-writing the original in a slightly different way" but by the end I was thinking "hmmm i'm not really feeling this story at all". And then the Espeon reference made me shake my head and audibly tut. Reminds me of the people who would mention jaffa cakes to increase their chances of teletext fame. Poor show.
>>417
http://i.imgur.com/ZeXuz.png
>>419
Without necessarily, you know, bragging, tell us something about yourself that you're pretty proud of, or that you feel good about, so that we will also be proud of you and/or admire this thing about you.
>>420 I am not a danmaku otaku, so of course I never got past level 2.
>422 I demand that you tell me what your favorite sketch from "Monty Python's Flying Circus."
mustang cobra
>>426
Videotape yourself dancing to daddy cools rasputin song. Covering some/all parts of the body is acceptable unless a panda.
>>425
My most sincere apologies, but it appears that nobody on DQN is willing to do that and I don't really want to see this thread fall off the front page for several days/weeks again. Your demand will have to go unrequited but, alas, such is life. Besides which, who the hell uses videotapes these days?
>>427
I demand to know what happened in one of your recent dreams.
>>426
My last dream was really strange, after two sleepless nights, just before falling to a much-awaited sleep after 2 days of intense masturbation, I decided to read a not-so-good manga, "Tokyo Toybox". I'm not sure I've remembered all of it, but I spent all the night dreaming about it. It was about a lazy but genius game developer. Add to that the insane amount of hentai I saw the last 48 hours and you can imagine the mess it was.
>>428
I demand you make a random original ASCII art, possibly funny.
>>431 While looking for a download link I read the wikipedia article on it. Already excited, I then noticed at the bottom of the article a link to a review by the NME. "This should be good" I thought: http://www.nme.com/reviews/autechre/6602 Hahaha. The comments are funny too. Then I looked up the reviewer, Sarah Dempster, and found an article by the her for the guardian 3 years later talking about how she likes to dance around her bedroom to Queen and Phil Collins and The Very Best Of The Moody Blues, but she also sort of brags about her time at the NME "name-dropping german electro artists" and stuff.
I just laffed and laffed and shook my head, but now I am excited to listen to Gantz Graf EP in headphones. If the NME doesn't like it, that means it's probably interesting. OOOOH SICK BURN!
>>433 Hate on something which is an easy target.
>>433
http://www.tatsuya-koyama.com/software/wg002_genetos_eng.html
GENETOS
>>434
Link us to your favorite freeware game!
http://www.charliesgames.com/cactus/MondoAgencyFixed.zip
Express love for something most people find distasteful.
>>436 i'm not going to use an inferior operating system just cos some sap on /dqn/ tells me to!
>>438 rate my penis http://www.freeimagehosting.net/66a85
>>439
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3gHi9ZMlQ8
If you go through this guy's videos (specifically the "Episodes") quite a lot of the interpretations are mine. Unfortunately, anonymity and forgetfulness mean I can't quite say which ones...
>>441
Post a picture of something you are proud of (but not genitalia).
>>441
Uh huhuhuhuhuhu I gatz a gurlfrond and I gotz a faecbuk adn I amz popular with peoplz because eye gatz a social life dan I still fock bitches an shyt nigger. I'm betar dan everybody hear and I'll bitch about my problems becuse I'm a stupid piece of dog shit that needs to point out how much better I am than erybudy uh huhuhuhuhuhuh.
>>443
Do whatever you want.
>>448
The day after my girlfriend left I relieved my remaining sexual tension by spending the day masturbating. The fantasies included gangbanging another man's wife on her wedding day without her knowledge, fucking my ex-girlfriend on top of my tied-up girlfriend, and fucking an underage girl as her mother forces her into a threesome.
>>450
Motivate me for going back to work tomorrow.
>>451
http://i.imgur.com/Y7jE4.png
>>453
link to the first porn video you remember watching.
>>452 http://xhamster.com/movies/476375/bbw_roberta.html
>>454 don't worry about it
>>454
I wanna pilot a helicopter! Like, one of those huge military transport choppers I've seen on my Top Trumps cards! And once I get my hands on it, I'll customise it into a flying camper van and go on holidays wherever I want to without expensive plane tickets and hotel bookings!
>>456
Describe your favourite PC game.
>>455
That game has a bad end where your cousin dies and a good one where your bride gets shot during the wedding. After beating the game you can easily acquire a t-shirt with Statue of Liberty and commit suicide as a free man (in-game, on your own discretion), then uninstall the game and try to get over this depressive 'aftertaste' by getting drunk (AFK, on your own discretion).
>>457
What popular videogame I just spoiled? (Hint: it's a console port)
>>455
A ship you were sleeping on makes a narrow escape from a world destroyed but a religeous alien armada by making a blind jump through slipspace. Where they came out, they don't know. But after being followed by the armada you and your shipmates are forced to jump ship and crash land on a strange ringworld. The aliens follow you and seem to think they can use the secrets of this ringworld as a weapon. All you know is that you have to stop the aliens from unlocking secrets of the ringworld, as doing so would mean both the aliens, the Humans, and all life in the known Universe would become nothing more...than food.
Know what game I'm talking about?
>>457
Draw Giko on paper, take a photo, then post it.
>>457
Oi, mate! Someone gotsa hit f5 more often.
ttp://uploda.in/img/data/img10131.jpg
Here ya go. Tools: no-name notepad (apparently made in Germany), Faber-Castell pencil 1.0 B, Olympus E-P1 with Pancolar 1.8/50 MC lens (M42 screw thread).
>>459
>>456 still doesn't know what game he enjoyed playing. Help him out.
I don't actually own any consoles except for a Sega Master System, so I would say my favourite is 'The Ninja'. You play a dude wearing a blue vest and he chucks rice at ninjas to save the princess. Later you can upgrade to shuriken and this helpsin defending the large hordes of ninja who attack you.
>>461
Make a new thread on http://4-ch.net/love/
>>460
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1326265053/
>>462
Post a question in my thread
>>468 We were 6 and used to hold hands in class, and she lived round the corner from me. This one time I stole a kiss right on her lips but she wasn't too impressed. I was obsessed with her till I was 13, I used to look out my window with my telescope to see if i could see her in her window but I never could. It wasn't till I was 11 that I learned she'd moved away when she was 8 cos she was getting bullied at school. It was news to me. She came back to the same high school as me when we were 13 and it made my heart flutter still if I saw her in the hall. I got to do the canadian barn dance with her at the xmas dance that year but she seemed disinterested. She randomly added me on facebook a couple of years ago and i found it rather funny, she's now your common variety fake-tanned wasted-at-weekends chubby tart. That said, it would be nice to bump into her sometime and see what she says.
Describe the girl of your dreams >>470
>>469
Shorter than I am, slim, cute face, short hair. Very sincere and kind. Not stupid, but not too cynical; she has a lot of hope for the world and dreams for herself. (Incidentally, I have a "wife," but it'd be best I not mention her. She's a minor character from Touhou.)
>>471
Tell us about one of your favorite experiences you've had with /dqn/, or something like that.
>>470 Well I love DQN to bits. I first discovered it about four and a half years ago when I stumbled across the Yoshinoya rant and wanted to find out where it came from, and the thread here came up on google. I can't think of any particular favourite experiences but I love the general feel of the place. I feel some sort of kinship with our small userbase, we must have some sort of connection in our way of thinking to come here and post. It's kinda fun too noticing different posters personalities and telling when they post - the rat-killing guy, the druggies, the kinky menstruation guy, and there was someone who used to post detailed descriptions about why various numbers were special but I haven't seen a post like that for ages....
I check here many times a day. I feel like I've learned a lot too - hmmm maybe "learn" is the wrong word but I've found lots of interesting stuff via the ctrl+v thread, the DQN Quality Videos thread and the Post Right Now thread. The latter is my favourite thread because I like to get an insight into what goes through your heads haha.
Actually, seeing those chewits arrive safely made me really happy, I've got a proper cheesy grin right now haha.
>>472 Hmmm bump the Yoshinoya thread I mentioned!
oops http://s18.postimage.org/k57kkl6nd/Photo_on_2012_01_27_at_20_40_2.jpg
>>478 you should jerk off too
I am unsure if it qualifies as an act I would like to commit, but I do so wish that suave gentleman >>482 would cast me down upon the bedsheets and ravish me with the fury of a hundred orangutans. In fact, I beseech him to take me now!
>>482
Take three spoonfuls of the gall of a barrow swine, three spoonfuls of hemlock juice, three spoonfuls of wild neep, three spoonfuls of lettuce, three spoonfuls of pape, three spoonfuls of henbane, three spoonfuls of eysyl, and mix them all together and boil them a little and put them in a glass vessel well stopped and put thereof three spoonfuls into a potel of good wine and mix it well together. Drink this and you will never have to worry about orangutile dysfunction ever again!
>>484
List your top ten favorite snacks.
>>483 hmmmmmm
that was difficult, and hardly in order, and there's probably better stuff i've forgotten. i have a sweet tooth haha
>>485 send a text message of encouragement or compliment or anything nice to anyone you like!
I demand >>489 speak in iambic pentameter in his reply and in at least one other post on DQN.
Oh no. What have this sillyphone done! I owe you a picture now.
>>493
Tell me what I must draw on the wall.
>>494
I meant the wall of the lounge room, you museless asshole. I'm not drawing a lounge in a lounge for someone like you.
>>506
A certain kitten is too shy about being bad at drawing whilst suffering from acute perfectionism. I'm working on it! I'm doing it. But you should draw it anyway, >>506! It might inspire me to do my best. Also, the weight of IOU is so insufferable that I almost ceased to post.
>>508
I demand that you make a photo of anything you want outdoors.
>>507 http://www.pistonheads.com/sales/largepic.asp?i=3534221&noPics=9&imgsrv=1¤t=3&make=NISSAN&model=SKYLINER34&trade=1
>>509 I demand a mattress sized hug pillow with a character that fits it.
>>511
http://i.imgur.com/MIhtM.jpg
>>513
I demand you list your five most recent bookmarks.
>>512
http://www.moepod.net/archive/20100809.php
http://www.moepod.net/supermodo
http://www.personaldna.com/report.php?k=qDDFECnARCaBlZm-FA-ABABC-d83a&u=2ed113baf9f7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=iv&annotation_id=annotation_388602&src_vid=MjwmVjB73xw&v=jl-bqELepRM
http://www.sockdreams.com/products/socks/thigh-highs/lycra-acrylic-striped-thigh-highs
>>514
I demand that you post a brief anecdote regarding your childhood.
>>513
I may have told this before on 4-ch, but any anecdote worth telling is worth re-telling.
When I was 8, I was building a Lego pirate ship with a good friend from down the street. Our relations until that point had been nothing but amicable. I introduced him to my beloved stuffed seal friend, trusting he would share the joy of its acquaintance. Contrary to my expectations, he began making fun of it. I could not stand for such intolerance. Although he was a close friend, the seal was a closer one. Yet my demands of him to stop only egged him on, and he even began violently beating and swinging my poor seal friend around.
This was the last straw. A rage I had never known before filled my body. Normally a mild-mannered child, I suddenly felt that inhuman disconnect that enables men to murder. I tackled my friend and wrapped my fingers tightly around his neck and squeezed. At first he struggled and screamed at first, but I did not let go. His body went limp and he fell silent. Yet I continued to push my thumbs into his throat, unwilling to let go until I was sure he had perished.
Disturbed by the sudden seconds of silence, my mother ran in and saw what was happening. She pulled me off of him, he ran home, our mothers organized an apology between us. To my surprise he wasn't angry at all, in fact he seemed genuinely guilty, while I secretly felt pretty remorseless. We remained good friends until the day he asked me to lick his dick (but that's another story).
I later reasoned that I probably was not actually that close to killing him. Nonetheless, since that day, I have always lived with the haunting knowledge that I have the willingness to kill another human without remorse.
>>515
I demand that you post a brief anecdote regarding your teenagehood.
>>514
I live on a long dirt road in a forest that is privately owned. So there are no laws regarding who can drive what kind of vehicle what so ever. We had a van that was so shitty and busted that its only pourpose could have been to be crashed by kids learning to drive for the time. One time while I was practice driving up and down the road I took two of my friends, twins, with me. When I got to the end of the road one of them asked if he could drive. I said sure and he got in the drivers seat and I started to move to to go sit on the floor in the back with his twin. I was half way there when I realized that I was 16 and just now starting to learn how to drive and these guys were two years my junior. I froze, then slowy turned my head. "H-hey dude, you do know how to drive, right?"
He let out a joyous "NOPE!", raised his knee as high as it could go and stopped on the gas pedal as hard as he could. I and his brother flew to the back the van. I hit the top of my head on the back doors and landed face first on the floor. He was all over the road. My head was pounding. I could barely stand up. I yelled for him to straighten out, and he did. But in doing so he had set us on a course to go off the road and fall about 6 feet through air and into a creek. I staggered, fell, go up again, and threw myself into the front, landing on his lap, jamming the steering wheel as far to the right as I could and pushing the breaks with my other hand. We swirved to a halt right at the edge of it. I probably saved all our necks that day. And that is literally the only interesting thing that happened during my teenage yeas.
>>516
I demand you post a brief anecdote regarding your young adult days.
>>515
I had a fucked up sleep schedule and became a NEET for a while because of it. It's still kind of fucked up, but I can force myself into a normal one easier now...
>>517
I demand you end your sentences for the rest of the day with desu, desu! Online and offline, desu! Are you prepared for the challenge, desu?
>>516
Well, considering "the rest of the day" consists of the next seventeen minutes, I don't see why not desu.
>>518
I demand that you bump this thread with a new problem desu.
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1311860434/l50
>>518
Leftover scraps from lunch with the ex. Novel and tobacco included:
http://imgur.com/CFI92
>>520
Tell me about your current state of consciousness. You may interpret that as broadly as you wish.
>>522 i am wearing a dark green Teenage Fanclub t-shirt, it has a yellow doodle of a billboard showing a power station. On top of that I have my black Cramps hoody, and I am wearing a sticker with my name on it (with a love heart dotting the "i") from the stupid anti-NEET taster class I was at today. I have two cute friendship bracelets my fiancé made on my wrist, one is a watermelon and one has love hearts on it. Lower down I am wearing boxer shorts with a trippy black and white design on them, a pair of socks with sharks on them, a pair of dark tights on top with a big hole cut out for my package, and a pair of rainbow knee socks on top of those. I cut my hair the other day and I did it badly so i have bald spots at the back, with a nice fringe though. It is all greasy and sticking up because I'm kinda sweaty from just walking a mile home wearing extra layers carrying a big rucksack. I'll shower in the morning because I keep getting a whiff of my semen-encrusted boxers, which I was self-conscious about at the jobseeking class.
>>524 Post a link to a song you have recently discovered and loved.
>>523
Too many to choose from, but...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZRM3hrn0hM
>>525
Listen to it a bit.
>>526
Physically, I'm healthy. I'm lucky to have a high metabolism so I can get away with not exercising. I'm sure that habit will come back to bite me as I get older, though. Even now my lack of exercise is probably partly responsible for my exhaustion after work.
Mentally, I've overcome serious depression in the past. I'm okay now, but I still have problems with lack of motivation, self-absorption, and so on.
>>528
Diagnose me a cure!
>>529
I really like the less gimmicky ones, i.e. the ones where he's alone instead of with Mike.I guess my favourite is probably "Chronologically Confused about Bad Movie and Video Game Sequel Titles" or the TMNT ones, which aren't even all that much about video games.
>>531
I demand to know your favourite comedy sketch!
>>530
Philosophical Football by Monty Python. What can I say, I'm a sucker for big words. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79vdlEcWxvM
>>532
If you were alone in a dark room with no discernible means of escape and the acute knowledge of an unknown yet willing young girl lying naked on your bed, would you prioritize escape over sexual curiosity? Why or why not?
>>535
Does IRC count? If so, this was in my favorite IRC channel, #blackberrytoad on Freenode:
19:31 <Me> http://www.world2ch.org/images/w2ch/w2chcar.jpg
19:56 <@Stars> wwwwwwwwwwww
>>539
I demand to know how you feel when looking at this image:
http://www.moepod.net/IMG/50yen_none_unnamed.png
>>541
I...guh..ah...damn you. Clever bastard.
>>543
I demand you take in the Bu-n video project at http://www.secretareaofvipquality.net/saovq/index.html#14
>>546
Stand up. Make sure there is plenty of space around you. Stretch both your arms out in front of yourself, with your fingers spread as far as you can, then clench them together into a fist. Keep doing this several times (say, about 20 times perhaps?) but not so much that your fingers become tired/sore/painful. Put your arms out to either side and repeat the clenching thing, then do the same stretching your arms vertically above yourself.
This stretches and loosens your fingers perfectly as preparation for a good Touhou run. I suppose it probably works fairly well for other games as well.
>>548
I demand that you actually do this and then play Touhou and tell me how it goes.
Well, this is awkward, nobody demands anything from me. I feel so unwanted. ;_;
>>554
Write a short science fiction story and post it here!
It's 555GET!
I hope this will make you proud at least of your own room:
ttp://uploda.in/img/data/img11854.jpg
I haven't operated my camera in a long time and it's pretty dark in my room. I apologize for the quality! I tried to take a photo of a table to the right as well, but it was too blurry.
>>556
Inspect.
>>557
That's not a public shrine. Also, I'm damned tired of you never posting full hyperlinks. I'm just going to stop visiting every link you give.
>>559
It's high-time we assuage God and pay still more homage to Her unrelenting grace. I demand you construct a second public shrine dedicated to the glory, goodness and melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi.
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http://sync.in/562
>>564
Go to a local cafe next sunday and drink a cup of tea.
>>567
I'm an abnormally hyperconscious entity residing within a human form in the state of Arizona whose conjugate of principles (or absence thereof) and intelligence are doomed to eternal and meaningless paroxysm. I'm doing rather decently today; listless and apathetic as always.
>>569
Force yourself to relate to only one of the 16 MBTI types and tell me which you chose.
Cultural boards are replaceable with DQN. However, I should probably give them more attention as I seem to utilize DQN in lieu of them.
AA bar is absolutely unique and original unless you frequent similar boards on 2ch.net. Three windows reinstalls ago I was an avid text artist myself!
In Lifestyle only /hobby/ is interesting. I'm glad somebody still remembers Kikkoman on /food/, but overall it feels there is only one insane Chef talking to himself. Probably we should hold a cooking contest and ask him to be a judge!
I'd post in Personal because I need some advice on how to meet new people on the Internet, how to cyber like a pro and how to deal with a certain annoying poster (or two of them actually, who do their best together to tarnish my reputation as a dokyun) , but my identity would be instantly discovered.
For some reason 4-ch started dying on me when I tried to open Tech, News, World and the rest of the boards. And I couldn't even /req/ Squeeks to relocate his servers to the upper side of the planet (so that data would stream down naturally)!
I promise to review the rest later when I'm able to open them.
>>576
I demand that you play Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing for at least ten minutes and point out the best and the worst parts of the game.
>>576 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnHuNUNV0BE
Also >>574 because gol-darn I put a bunch of work into it.
Anime: Lots of off-topic and the usual "Japan is best" bullshit. Also, "LOVING ANIME KILLINGLY."
ASCII: This board is fucking awesome. Too bad whenever I try to copipe that type of shit, it rips all the spaces out and fucks it up.
DQN: It's us, DQNing as usual.
Film & TV: Lots of spillover of Anime's Japan obsession. And I should have known there would be an MLP thread, too.
Food: Yum. Though people can bicker over everything including what you eat. And Korea vs. Japan.
Games: Spammish threads, Japan offtopic, and maybe one or two threads actually discussing games.
General: Anger, hate and angst.
Hobbies: Weeaboo... they just want to be on Japan related boards, or is any ok?
Language: A board where Japanese would be on topic... dominated by Chinese.
Literature: iOΦOGj©Stop using this face from the sick!!
Love & Romance: I'd like to say I feel schadenfreude at knowing other people's love lives are way bigger train wrecks than my own, but this just leaves me numb.
Manga: The usual, aside from the "write your own manga" crowd at the top.
Music: "What's a good song to commit suicide to?" seems increasingly relevant.
News: Worth it for "Priest attached to party balloons vanishes in Brazil".
Net Culture: Worth it for the Omegle thread and "IS THERE A SINGLE SITE ON THE FUCKING INTERNET THAT IS NOT FILLED WITH OBNOXIOUSLY LARGE AMOUNTS OF RETARDEDNESS? NO. NO THERE IS NOT."
Personal Issues: Designated whining board.
Politics: There was one thread with seemingly intelligent discussion, which is one more than I expected.
Programming: Not enough of a programmer to understand this shit.
Science: More like sci-fi or so it seems.
Tech/IT: What I'd expect of this board.
ϊ{κ: "Japan is full of the organized stalker." makes me imagine guys like in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. games wandering around Fukushima. Which would be pretty cool actually.
>>578
Describe your ideal pet.
>>577
It uses the toilet like a human, hunts and eats vermin so I don't have any extra food expenses and submits the occasional entertaining post on DQN. Hmm, I guess I'm not so much looking for a pet, rather a slave with pica and a strong stomach. Now accepting applications! Also, good job on the board synopses!
>>578
Recommend some cheap or free video games. Budget titles from years ago are fine too.
>>577
It uses the toilet like a human, hunts and eats vermin so I don't have any extra food expenses and submits the occasional entertaining post on DQN. Hmm, I guess I'm not so much looking for a pet, rather a slave with pica and a strong stomach. Now accepting applications! Also, good job on the board synopses!
>>578
Recommend some cheap or free video games. Budget titles from years ago are fine too.
>>578-580
I don't know your favourite genres, so I'll suggest a few.
78641 - adventure. Trailer and dl link: http://youtu.be/AEEyOdVsdsQ
Chef Boyardee's Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa - basketball JRPG which gathered some cult following, members of which were lately communicating strictly by quotes from CBoyardee's videos, which in turn forced him to wipe his YT account. http://youtu.be/8F1cOvZ3nS8
Slaves to Armok: God of Blood, Chapter II: Dwarf Fortress - classic city-building/roguelike game which was recently updated (on 1993-09-6762). http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/screens.html
Kerbal Space Program - spaceship constructor/space flight simulation, in-development. http://youtu.be/l5OhFnq_iKw
Osu! - music game with various gameplay features. http://osu.ppy.sh/
Project Zomboid - open world/survival horror, in-development. Demo version (which is tailing behind the latest build) is free. http://projectzomboid.com/blog/
>>582
Do as many push-ups as you can and report the number.
>>585
The arbitrary differentiation of Faraday's synaesthesia of satellite H© mittens is indubitably analogous to anhydrous terrestrial ones.
>>587
I demand that you read every Achewood comic, and if you enjoyed them, to make this same request of the poster below you! (If this question is asked again and you HAVE read Achewood, feel free to disregard it ;)
Silence fool
>>592
Lucky for you I happen to be in a library for the next hour and a half. Here's my list of messages:
>>594
I demand that you draw some "modern" "art" using MS paint with a mouse.
>>593
http://i.imgur.com/NMLxZ.png
>>595
I demand that you write a review of the latest VIPTRONIC album!
>>596
I'm gonna go with Flanagan and Matsumoto's "The Ruby Programming Language" (O'Reilly Media 2008, ISBN 0596516177). I haven't read it, nor any other books on Ruby, but from my experience O'Reilly tends to publish decent books on most other languages. Also, Yukihiro Matsumoto is the creator of Ruby. Surely his input's got to count for something.
>>598
I demand that you recommend me an MP3 player that isn't made by Apple, can hold more than 32GB, and does not garble CJK characters in filenames and id3 tags.
>>597 Why not an Apple one? I can't really recommend anything else, I've never had any problems with my iPods. My 2003 classic and 2004 mini still serve me well, the only reason I upgraded to my 5th generation 80GB one in 2006 is because I got more music, and I still use it like 6 hours a day at least. I can't think of a negative point about them.
>>599 Go outside, it's a beautiful day.
>>602
Joke's on you, all eight of my wallets are empty. (I have no idea why I have so many. I think I get a new $10 one every Christmas from a different family member. I'm currently using two to prop up my keyboard.)
>>604
I demand you write a two to three paragraph short story told from the perspective of your cat. It can be about whatever you like.
This door. This fucking door. Ten minutes ago, I had come inside to check if any new food had appeared in my bowl. It hadn't. And now this thick block of wood dares to block my exit. Just great. Right, time to find the ape ... there he is. Sitting motionless and staring at that box with flickering lights again. Well, I know how to deal with that sort of thing.
"Murr." I rub against his legs, then look up at him, seeing if he's caught the hint. He reaches down and scratches my head. Not bad, but this time that wasn't the message. I walk a few steps toward the corridor and mew again. He claps his palms on his thighs. No, damn it, I do not want to be petted while warming your lap. Not for another couple hours, anyway. "Meowww!" Hopefully he caught the note of exasperation this time.
Hey, it seems to have worked. He got up and started following me. I lead him to the offending door and stare at the doorknob meaningfully. He sighs and points his forelimb in the direction opposite the door. Twenty paces away, there lies ... the terrace door. No change there. Wonder what he meant. Anyway, he seems to be finally opening the door for me. I rush out towards the garden hedge for a very satisfying bowel movement. Much better. Casually, I stroll around the house, then enter through the flap in the terrace door. Still no fresh food in my bowl, and the door opposite me is closed yet again. Apparently the primate responds poorly to my efforts of conditioning. When will he learn that I need to have a straight-line unimpeded passageway through the house?
Whoops, forgot my demand while getting caught up in fiction composition.
>>606
List the titles and artists of the last 10 songs you chose to listen to (i.e. not stuff that popped up on a playlist/radio station you happened to have in the background).
>>605
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – 9999999
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – The Courtesy Call
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Technical Difficulties
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Overgrowth
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Ghost of Rattman
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Haunted Panels
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – The Future Starts With You
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – There She Is
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Cara Mia Addio!
Aperture Science Psychoacoustics Laboratory – Want You Gone
>>607
Fill your post with teen angst.
>>609
"Twelve lines" say you, sir?
This sounds like a perfect task
For a renga.
DQN and poetry
Thus are together at last.
Well, that is to say,
Apart from many song threads,
If you'd claim those count.
However, their lines were most
Vulgar and profane at times.
So this just might be
DQN's first true poem,
Which is complete now.
>>610
Critique my poem. If you can, write an improved version.
>>612
I'll interpret that as "I demand that you supply a picture of your favourite Touhou". As it happens, I did draw a picture of my favourite Touhou and I did take a picture of it, only to find that I don't have the right cable to copy it onto my computer. In an hour or two I'm going to go buy that very cable and then I shall post it. Just sit tight.
>>614
I demand that you are me and that you post that damn picture already.
>>621
http://4-ch.net/iaa/kareha.pl/1227296353/764
http://4-ch.net/games/kareha.pl/1321613189/9
http://4-ch.net/personal/kareha.pl/1200571045/67
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1131458499/454
http://4-ch.net/sexual/kareha.pl/1225034235/617
>>623
I demand that you revitalize this thread with a good demand.
>>625
I used to have a cat. He was given to me for a period of two years to be taken care of by a young Japanese lady while she did some errands, as in that time slot, the said errands would not permit her to provide a suitable environment for the cat. I liked that cat a lot.
>>627
I demand that you play through Cat Planet and tell us what you thought of it.
>>627
My mother
Mumbled "cat planet" under her breath several times, trying to work out the significance of the two words. Eventually trailed off and looked at me inquisitively.
My dog
(Not technically a person but oh well)
Looked at me, sniffed a little and licked her lips, then put her head down and went back to sleep.
A Skype chat with a few vague internet acquaintances in it
Only one person replied. They said, and I quote, "o-o".
>>629
I demand that you pet my head and tell me I'm a good girl.
blow it out your butt
>>633 Switch off your lights and light some candles
>>633
Powercuts have happened to me enough time for me to know what it's like without electricity. Generally it just leads to reading books by candlelight and wishing the power was back on. Sometimes ghost stories are told.
>>635
I demand that you make ten posts within the space of ten minutes with "Andrew" in the name field.
>>637
Hmm, odd ... it tastes almost exactly like the cold water dispensed by my fridge.
>>644 I drew this a couple of years ago http://i46.tinypic.com/jqp94i.jpg
>>646 List your three favourite Lynyrd Skynyrd songs.
>>647
http://www.cnngo.com/explorations/life/asias-most-sinful-cities-174006?page=0,4
http://www.cnngo.com/explorations/life/asias-most-sinful-cities-174006?page=0,3
http://www.cnngo.com/explorations/life/asias-most-sinful-cities-174006?page=0,2
http://www.cnngo.com/explorations/life/asias-most-sinful-cities-174006?page=0,1
http://www.cnngo.com/explorations/life/asias-most-sinful-cities-174006
>>649
I demand that you go to the anime board and post in the newest thread.
>>649
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ussCHoQttyQ
>>651
List everything you have consumed in the past 24 hours.
>>656
I could be nit-picky and just list all the parts of my computer and how they work together, but that would be boring. So here's my non-computer list:
*An old orange, as a toy to toss idly between my hands. It's probably no longer tasty.
*Blanket, to keep myself warm as I screw around on the computer.
*Yatsuhashi, to feed myself breakfast. (Still hungry, of course.)
*Cheap black comb to comb my hair after my shower.
*Clothes (red shirt, boxers, black pants) to clothe myself after my shower.
*My girlfriend's yellow towel to dry myself after my shower.
*A razor to shave my face during the shower.
*A washcloth to wash myself during the shower.
*Soap to put on the washcloth.
*Shower head to provide water.
>>658
Do a good deed and tell us about it.
>>659
http://4-ch.net/images/ba.gif
>>661
I demand that you go for a bicycle ride and shout "hello" to any people that you see along the way.
>>660 http://i45.tinypic.com/152yqdt.jpg
>>661 Well today I made a kind of cooling chamber out of a piece of paper and tape, but it didn't add anything special to the experience...
>>663 Use a coaster, you'll mark your desk!
>>663
http://tohno-chan.com/ot/res/14970.html#14978
http://tohno-chan.com/mai/res/5.html#9233
http://tohno-chan.com/ot/res/9449.html#14979
http://tohno-chan.com/so/res/10418.html#10531
That was awful.
>>665
I demand that your demand to the next poster be the same as this demand.
>>664
No! We've already covered this in >>2-3,504-506 - no meta-gaming!
>>666
I demand that you tell us about the last thing that made you really laugh out loud.
>>666
When you first awaken, you are standing in the corner of a room, leaning against one wall. It is completely empty - no furniture, no windows, and, as far as you can tell, not even a door, which begs the question of how the fuck you got there in the first place. You call for help, and strangely it doesn't echo around the room; even though it should. You try to move, but you seem to be stuck in this one corner, unable to relocate yourself. Because you yourself are the door.
>>668
Attempt to draw a spirograph free-hand.
>>671
cklidckede vn mumber wekuith moudse
''
typre your rtepoly wityh yuourt pemnis
>>677
The 678 Special:
*Open the refrigerator.
*Take out 2-3 vegetables and maybe some meat, in order of whatever will go bad the soonest.
*Think of an edible way to combine them. Creativity is key.
*Fry the soft stuff in some sort of sauce that seems good.
*Boil the hard stuff into some sort of soup.
*Serve with rice or bread, depending on whatever sounds best.
>>679
Visit this page:
http://johno.jsmf.net/knowhow/ngrams/index.php?table=en-cookbook-word-2gram¶graphs=5&length=8
Click Generate until you get a semi-coherent recipe and post it here. Bonus points if you actually make it, extra bonus if you take a picture.
>>678
fork. BRUSSELS SPROUTS (The best French beans or
minced, salt and toss them to serve the
across mashed potatoes, rub the top or thin
required, or other preserved fruit. SAFFRON RICE Put
well-drained potatoes. SHOULDER OF VEAL CAKE, EXCELLENT PASTE
A pity Brussels sprouts are out of season. Would have been interesting to taste a pureed paste out of Brussels sprouts, French beans, mashed potatoes, preserved fruit, saffron rice, even more potatoes, and shoulder of veal cake.
>>680
Plan all your meals for the weekend and post what you come up with.
>>681 My favourite movie of all time is Harold And Maude, because I love the characters and I can relate to Harold, my mum even compared me to him, and I also relate to Maude to some extent, in that I've showed my young lover how wonderful life can be and there's better things than killing herself. It's funny and touching and really sweet and it always brings tears to my eyes, and to top it off Cat Stevens did the soundtrack.
>>683 I demand you go find a way to watch Harold & Maude and tell us your thoughts. The Pirate Bay is blocked here with my ISP but http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=harold+and+maude+torrent&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8 The top one, I think the uploader's comment is a bit of an exaggeration (I looked at the cached version)
>>682
I don't want to rewatch Harold and Maude but I also don't want this thread to die, so I will tell you my thoughts leftover from watching it years ago.
I was an awkward freshman in college. I was surprised when a girl in my pilates class spoke to me. She said, "You remind me of Harold." I was confused, so she proceeded to tell me about the movie Harold and Maude. She offered to lend it to me and I accepted.
The film lurked too close to the surface. I didn't really identify with Harold. I expected a romance between Harold and Maude, but it never developed in any satisfying way. Romance was mostly one-sided on Harold's part, with Maude taking the position of loving old woman with Lessons of Life to teach a young child.
I was almost moved at the end, but the stupid final scene - especially the "dramatic" freeze frame attempt to raise the scene's tension - just made me laugh. I hoped to leave the film filled with ideas and questions, but ended up with only mild amusement.
I'm focusing on the negative here since that's what I do best, but I really did enjoy it. It really is better than the average movie. I was just expecting more.
>>684
I demand you bump the "ask the poster above you a question" thread.
>>684 I will do it tomorrow.
>>686 watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azEvfD4C6ow
>>685 I've seen this before, it was posted on encyclopædia dramatica i think a long time ago
>>691
Try this one:
http://www.wholelattelove.com/Lavazza/lava_point.cfm
Or this one:
http://www.coffeemakermachinereview.com/francis-francis/francis-francis-x1/
>>693
I demand that you post after getting extremely drunk.
>>692
It's been three days since my drunken binge, but I finally remembered. In the spirit of the demand, I had a half-pint of cider just before posting, which I downed in one go. My alcohol tolerance is a bit too high though, it seems. I'm barely even swaying.
>>694
I demand that you post a backstory/sales pitch for a gritty reboot of the Asterix series, to be published by either Marvel or DC comics, with a movie deal under consideration. Bonus points for making Obelix angsty about his magically changed metabolism which makes him constantly hungry, or the like.
>>694
It's okay, it might well still be redeemable. Even if it isn't and you just failed your entire education, you can still become a hermit or something.
Anyway, here's something nice and fluffy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEVR9VAH6nU
>>696
I demand that you make one post in every thread on Tohno-chan's secret textboard (ttp://tohno-chan.com/txt/)
on screen keyboard
post a photo of something in your room. yourself if comfortable
>>700
I threw together a juke style track for your dragon ass tattoo
http://iiichan.net/boards/music/src/dragonasstattoo.mp3
>>702
I demand you play my track back at ridiculously high volume and dance around the room like crazy.
Well the next poster (>>705) always tells the truth or always tells lies, what must you demand so that you figure out what he is?
>>709
I demand that you select a number between 1 and 764 (perhaps use a random number generator), find the corresponding post in the Post Your Current Thought thread and create a new thread based on it. You must post what number it was.
>>708
I chose 328 off the top of my head and created this:
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1352208362/
>>710
I demand that you attempt to redeem my thread.
>>711
http://grooveshark.com/s/Nice+Weather+For+Ducks/4M2BT?src=5
Enjoy!
>>713
I demand that you describe a particularly interesting object near you in nauseating detail.
>>715
add me on steam and play dota2 with me. its okay if you don't have it, i'll gift you a copy. steam name = sabitsuki steam id = sicp
>>716 The new pokémon ones? I don't know any DS games sorry
>>712 That song got played often on mainstream radio a few years ago, pretty sure it was even on one of those "now that's what I call music" compilations or something. Good song but poor effort >>712!
>>718 pick a sex position for me to try sometime soon.
>>719
http://i.imgur.com/KSCjK.jpg
Here you go. I'm sorry it's not that great.
>>721
Rub your hands together
>>721
Alright. I laughed evilly while I did it too.
>>723
Play Dota2 with me. http://steamcommunity.com/id/sicp
>>725
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1352371272/
>>727
I demand that your entire post consists of less than 25 characters.
>>728
http://i.imgur.com/HvgVK.png
>>730
play dota 2 with me. my steam id is earlier in this thread. if you deny this request, then write a 700 word minimum essay about the most shameful thing you've done in your entire life
Je te blessure
>>732
I demand you find me a way to convert .dcr files into .swf
>>731
http://www.brothersoft.com/downloads/dcr-to-swf-converter.html
>>733
I demand that you write an inflammatory post targeted at >>723,730 for me.
>>734
There are about 80 raindrops hanging from the underside of my balcony rail. Also, putting the Revoltech Woody on the windowsill may have been a bad move. His rapeface makes looking out past him quite uncomfortable.
>>736
I demand you link to an a cappella version of one of your favourite songs on either Youtube or Nicovideo.
>>735 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGr0auEuJNs
>>737 I demand a Nissan GT-R NuR spec.
>>736
http://www.skylinesaustralia.com/forums/topic/236553-brand-new-nissan-gtr-nur-spec-engines-rb26dett/
This do? I seriously don't know shit about cars.
>>738
I demand that you post a picture of the most beautiful thing you can think of.
>>739 Do you like when 8-bit games get reviewed?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIGY0sYAqHo&feature=results_video
>>741 I demand to know what is the 2nd item on your Christmas wish list.
TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER TIGER
>>743
The question "why" can be approached from several different angles. I might answer, "because I have the ability to do so" or "because I have the opportunity to do so." But ability and opportunity alone do not yield an effect. I could say that I post in order to externalize my thoughts or for some feeble sense of community, but neither one of these motivations is an end unto itself. bla bla bla bla pera pera because it's fun bura bura bura bura pantsu DQN LOL oh god has it been a hundred words yet nope two more ok done.
>>745
more mittens pls
interrupted with Smoopy rape, which due to extreme pleasure quickly turned consensual. Both the Malay girl and claw
>>749
http://i.imgur.com/hEsXk.png
>>750
Man I was so drunk last night I posted completely in the wrong thread
>>751
I demand that you write a short poem based on your captcha.
>>752 A joint of UR-144
>>754 Check out this song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aj13Y_H6lDo
>>756
I hear these are high quality: http://www.amazon.com/quality-Black-Warmer-Mitten-Gloves/dp/B0038OD3Y0/ref=pd_sxp_redirect
>>758
I demand that your next demand be spoken like a true banchou.
>>759 http://www.humblebundle.com/
>>761 Give me the D
>>763
Mario 64 mainly recalls memories of frustration, as I could only play it when I visited my friend. Due to my lack of any home game systems besides a Gameboy, I was pretty inexperienced and died often. Thus I never got to play very long since we always played "switch when you die" style. Honestly, we were more amused at playing with Mario's face on the starting screen than anything else. We usually switched to Mario Kart, a game everybody could enjoy together.
As for Bandicoot, it is the game of sleepovers. My Kiwi friend was tall and lanky and lived in a big house. It was still sunny out, but we were tired of running so we piled into his room. The joy of middle school, no responsibilities today nor tomorrow. We planned on ordering pizza later. The Kiwi grew up in South Africa so he played us some native African tunes, but it failed to entertain us for long so he switched on the Playstation. Crash Bandicoot, switch when you die style. Neither of us had much fun though, so we switched to Crash Team Racing before I could really get a feel for the game. He had a multitap so all could play. CTR was much more fun and it soon grew dark without us realizing. We had pizza.
Oh wait, now that I've written this all out I looked at your demand closer and saw that it said "reasoned, objective." Oops.
>>765
I demand you give me an emotional, subjective comparison of Tetris Attack and Puyo Puyo Fever. If you don't know those games, then a comparison of Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros.
>>764 Tetris attack is such a fucking bitch, Never fucking answers her phone, and to top it all off, last january when i broke up with tyrone, GUESS WHO WENT TO HIS PARTY AND HOOKED UP WITH HIM? Tetris Attack.
Puyo Puyo Fever is a true sister and has always been there for me.
>>766 I demand you tell me everything i need to know about a 1993 Saturn SL2
>>765
I have a 1995, so you're gonna hear about the '95 and like it.
It has a plastic body and flip-up headlights. Had to rebuild the engine. Saturns are notoriously bad for piston rings. Certain parts can only be gotten from particular chevy dealers. Has this crappy hard-to-work-with double overhead cam. It's trying to be sporty and failing miserably. it's pretty gutless, but what do you expect with 4 cylinders. The company shut down like a year ago or more. I wouldn't want to buy another saturn after this one bites the dust. Not bad gas mileage though. Tank is 12 gallons.I guess the SL has an extra little door for rear passenger access or something. If you can get one that isn't really wound, for really cheap, maybe go for it.
>>767
I demand that you tell me how your weekend was/has been so far
Well >>666-san, today's might've been one of my more notable breakfasts, although I'd still call it pretty forgettable. As I have numerous important interviews today, of which I am currently in an interval between, I awoke feeling underslept and nervous - yet also quite hungry. I was supplied a full English breakfast, which was most generous, but in the end I could only stomach one rasher of bacon, one sausage and one hash brown. Ah well.
>>770
I demand that you solve a sudoku as fast as you can and report back how long it took.
>>770
Already have, does this count? It's about 3 years old.
http://www.last.fm/music/Infected+Ear/_/Another+Shit+Tetris+Remix
>>772
I demand you buy my milk.
>>773
I chose:
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1228838176/
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1201355619/
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1265773089/
>>775
I demand that you make your post through the most unorthodox medium you can.
>>776 http://vocaroo.com/i/s08vwyNpcnJH it's in code
>>777
After much deliberation as to what sorts of secret messages to leave, I ended up using some posts from the last Post Your Current Thought thread, namely:
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1360549149/218,309,483,537,830.
I would've done it much sooner, but the weather has been dreadful recently. Ah well.
Anyway, I tried uploading the pictures as an album but imgur kept returning errors for some reason, so here they are individually.
http://i.imgur.com/JJqZXDL.jpg / http://i.imgur.com/d9HS2S9.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/n2jFSTj.jpg / http://i.imgur.com/JZWkngG.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/ZTzgaPi.jpg / http://i.imgur.com/sBZYyqt.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/uU1krZB.jpg / http://i.imgur.com/3uSpL2d.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/nspHWW2.jpg / http://i.imgur.com/usyfPdx.jpg
Bonus picture: strange butterfly I saw while I was out.
http://i.imgur.com/XYCSe0F.jpg
>>779
I demand that you reinvigorate this thread with a nice easy, yet satisfying demand.
Walking down the street past the seedier shopping centre my wife says "hey shall we get some salvia?" because she's never tried it and I'd told her about my previous fun experiences with it. Excited I said yeah great let's go and we went in and went to the head shop and as I look around i notice she's gone into the other side of the partitioned shop so I lean over to call her over but as I do the shop owner comes over and asks if i need any help so I panic and just ask for 60x salvia and leave again and we go for the bus and get home, excited to go into the salvia dimension again but this time to share it with my darling. I ask if she'd like to go first and tell her the proper way to smoke it and what to expect and she's like "I'm not an idiot" okay well alright here you go, and she starts coughing so i get her some water and then she's all "Now you've made me grumpy" and I'm like why what did i do "JUST FUCK OFF" and starts watching her TV programmes on my laptop so I pull the cable out of it and put some music and on and she flips out screaming turn your fucking shit music off "not until you apologise" i say and she starts throwing things at me and lunging at me and pulls the plug from my computer so i kick her off the bed and put the bedsheets and covers and mattress on top of her and tell her to shut up and she starts crying and i'm like i hope you're crying because you feel bad for being horrible to me and she says she is so i give her a cuddle and we make up then we start playing the playstation, i want to smoke some myself but it doesn't feel like the right atmosphere and in the middle of playing she suddenly says "I better do the dishes! so she leaves and i put some psytrance on and smoke myself, but just as i start to trip she comes through and starts talking to me and cuddling me and it ruins my trip. So I try again a bit later and it's not as good as previous experiences but I still turned into the waterwheel from a 1920s paddle steamer, then I played some more playstation with her helping her beat the hard bosses, why did >>781 assume i'm a teenager, just because I use drugs? i haven't been a teenager for a long time, in fact it wasn't till the end of my teens that I found better living through chemicals, that i changed from a depressed stay-at-home loner to a charming popular non-virgin haha, he's probably a prude who thinks drugs are bad, this is probably past 144 words now, though maybe it's more of a blog post than a stream-of-consciousness but then aren't all blogs like that? arf arf
>>784 Describe the key point in your life that you feel was the main transition from your childhood to who you are today, if you feel you have reached that point yet.
>>783
It happened a few years ago. I was on the bus on the way to school, and I suddenly realised how small everything was. I'm nothing but a tiny speck in a huge and amazing world.
From that point onwards, I never looked at life the same way, and honestly feel I've matured a lot from that one event. It became my goal to leave a lasting impression in this world. That was when I ceased being a child and began my life as an adult.
>>785
You simply MUST post Shift-JIS art in your response.
>>783
I'm a lazy-ass slob, a NEET, a hikikomori. I recently severed all social contacts with the outside world. How did I get here?
Well, in school I was a very polite, nice and shy kid who never skipped a lesson, who was doing everything he told to do. These properties didn't help with establishing relationships with other angsty prepubescent teens, but they didn't hurt much either. I wasn't bullied. Teachers and parents adored me. Girls probably too because I was cute and never harassed them. We were all together partly since elementary school, partly since middle school. Though as puberty kicked in we became less united, we basically established 3-4 people circles. I was rather successful, aspiring young man who wanted to study "something that has to do with programming".
Everything changed when I enrolled in a rather famous university far away from my hometown. I had to live in a dormitory with two senior students. I suspect that my father is responsible for this. He thought that it might teach me about life. Other freshmen lived in rooms with each other (plus an occasional final-year student who usually had a job and was busy with his stuff). So, my roommates were not only neither freshmen or graduates, but a rather lazy lot. The privilege of living with them was that nobody could demand a beer from me (I'm not even sure that somebody even did this). They were nice guys but all they did were playing games, going to the university or just hanging out somewhere.
We didn't even have a free desk that I could use to study properly. A "dining table" that was basically a torn off closet door doesn't count. It was greasy, filled with dirty plates, etc. The other was a computer desk which was usually occupied by those students. I spent a lot of my free time either in the zoo or walking some very long routes. In mid-Autumn I finally bought a cheap IKEA desk and got my old PC from the hometown. This is the point where my downgoing started. Attracted by the light of a display, repelled by the weather turning cold, I was paying less and less attention to the external world. It was a time of a crappy GPRS connection, but rather big LAN. Movies, anime, video games and a bit of browsing...
Eventually, roommates failed their re-examinations but didn't want to return home. They told their parents that everything was okay, had a part-time job, tried to restore their status as students. But they still lived in the room. With only one person formally living in that room I've got another roommate and then another. We only had a bunk bed and regular one. Fortunately, that fifth guy lived at his aunt's house. Those former students shared a smaller bed during night and disappeared during day, because dormitory head was trying to catch them. Their hiding was rather dramatic and funny.
Unfortunately, I hardly remember winter. There was something about being too lazy to revise, failing or chickening out from exams and getting a leave of absence. During this time my father moved to the city and rented apartments, I moved with him. During New Year celebrations my roommates were caught with alcohol. Those slackers had been restored as students, so this was bad for them. One of them lost his nerve and told the head to fuck off. Soon both were kicked out again (the other one later apologized), other ex-roommates were moved to a much less comfortable dorm outside the city.
During my half-year leave, I got a cable connection. Approximately at the time I turned 18, I discovered 4chan. It was still young and still good back then.
Thus my information superhighway adventure has begun. Slipping my studies more and yet more, failing to establish long-lasting contacts and feeling perpetually depressed, yet hoarding the slack and enjoying the digital world, I found my shelter. And yet I'm still lost.
>>785
Are you touched by my story? Would you shoot me or pat me on the back and say, "It'll be okay, you'll find your way through" or do something else? What do you reckon might be a fresh new start for me?
Don't worry, help is here! It's the least I can do after stealing your post.
I was touched deeply by your story, >>785-san. The melancholic tone really left an impact. I can sympathise with you easily, and have almost ended up down the same path myself several times. But if I may ask, don't you treasure the experiences? Sure, they may not have been constructive, but they certainally make a grand tale. My advice would be to figure out what it is you want to do for the rest of your life, and once you have discovered that, start planning how you will get there. I wish you luck!
>>788
Your task is to invite a non-DQN friend to the site.
>>778
Wow, amazing job! You fulfilled my demand better than I could have ever hoped. I think I may have written one of those posts but I'm not sure. My memory is terrible.
>>787
That was pretty embarrassing, but I did it. I really hope he likes it here!
>>789
I demand you write a tanka about your lunch (kind of like a haiku, the syllables are 5-7-5-7-7)
>>789
http://i.imgur.com/ooPEqgt.png
>>791
I demand that you write a short story loosely based on this picture. It must have a happy ending.
>>790
Charles was happy at last.
It had been a hard life as a sentient cactus. The desert was too hot, and there was nobody to talk to. The scenery was always the same brown sands, with the occasional visit from a tumbleweed. The humans, however, had it lucky. With their legs, they could walk all over the world, and see many wonderful sights. Charles was jealous of the humans.
But then, it happened.
The rain came, flooding the cities where the humans lived. They all drowned. Charles laughed (or at least, he would've, if he had a mouth).
The End
>>792
I demand you rate my short story.
Oh dear, I posted in the wrong thread! To apologize I fulfilled >>793's demand.
Quite luckily the school lunch today was a ham, egg and cheese sandwich with a side salad of pickles, corn, lettuce, carrots and mayo. I just put all the salad onto the sandwich and made what I call the Monstrous Sakata Mayhem! I named it after the principal Sakata who always puts salad on his sandwiches.
It wasn't bad. I'm not a fan of pickles or mayo so combining it with the tastier ham, egg and cheese made the salad much more palatable.
>>796
I demand you open up a folder of pictures you have taken, select 3 at random and upload them for us to see! (You're free to blur out faces and whatnot if they turn out to be personal pictures.)
>>795
http://i.imgur.com/X70DHgF.jpg
>>797
Take any physical video game you have and make a weird scene with it. Something along the lines of http://i.imgur.com/2YoVVvF.jpg
>>796
Oh god what am I doing
http://i.imgur.com/9fdjfxK.jpg
In other news, is that a TI-84 I see there? Ah, what memories! I remember having fun trying to get the most interesting error possible on one of those. If I recall, the best I got was from telling it to calculate the integral of a portion of a graph including an asymptote. What fun.
>>798
I demand that you tell me a joke or anecdote involving calculators.
>>797 Once in Higher Maths the girl who sat in front of me said "hey look at this" and typed 5318008 on it and showed me, and I was like "um okay" but then she turned it upside down and, well, try it yourself! I had a giggle.
>>799 Turn around and put your hands behind your back on the keyboard, and type your whole post like that.
>>799
800 GET.
I totally cheated and waited until I was alone. So I yelled it but the rain just kept on raining and the computer kept on quietly humming and nothing changes which is my problem in the first place.
>>801
I demand you give somebody a present! And tell us what it was! It can be small or big, something you made or something you bought. But it can't be something you were already planning to give away.
>>800
I noticed earlier today in an email from Steam that the game "The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion" was on sale. I'd been notified because it was in my wishlist. I decided to buy it, but instead of using it myself I gifted it to a friend who is a huge LOTR fan. Hopefully he'll enjoy it.
>>802
I deemed you hurry up and post in this thread! It's almost died several times now.
>>802
What role did religions play in relations of Europe and Middle East during the Middle Ages? Compare it to the events of contemporary history.
>>804
Answer this, or you shall face execution by being bored to death with history books. And don't you dare to cheat by secretly opening Wikipedia on your phone! I wrote related articles, and they are all wrong.
>>803
Disclaimer: I have not studied history in many, many years. Furthermore, as per the demand, I have not looked at Wikipedia or anything like that. Here goes nothing.
During the Middle Ages, Western Europe was almost entirely Christian, whilst the Middle East was mostly Muslim. There was probably a smattering of Judaism in Eastern Europe as well. The crusades, a set of religiously motivated wars between Europe and the Middle East, occurred around this time (I think). There was also the endless and completely pointless conflicts in England over Catholicism and Protestantism. Thus, differences in religion caused conflicts.
In contemporary history, Europe has become more cosmopolitan, with members of many different religions coexisting. Furthermore, atheism is at an all time high, and people's attitudes to, for instance, converting from one religion to another, are extremely lenient when compared to the Middle Ages, showing that religion is not as important as it was. The Middle East is still almost entirely Muslim.
The most notable war involving Europe and the Middle East in modern times is still ongoing, so I'm not sure if it even counts as "history" yet. At any rate, the Middle Eastern side largely claims to be religiously motivated, whereas the European side has no religious aspect whatsoever.
>>805
I demand that you find your nearest living being and lick it.
>>804
I was going to weasel out of this by licking my arm and writing that it's slightly salty, but then my cat jumped on my knees. So I liked its neck. It had a neutral taste, my mouth is full of fur, and I got a scornful glance in return. The one that cats usually give to overly excited dogs in youtube videos.
>>806
Find a way to write your response and demand whilst being upside down. Describe how you did it and how it felt.
>>804
I licked my girlfriend after reading this a few days ago but never replied to this thread due to sex.
>>805
I'm lying on a couch writing upside down with my phone. I feel dizzy and silly.
>>807
I demand you revive this thread with a question or advice or both!
http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1326265053/l50
For SAoVQ's >>280, the rabbits are a symbol of promiscuity and fertility. >>280 has a lot of pent-up sexual energy but deep in his heart of hearts, >>280 knows the cold earth will soak up all of that sexual energy when >>280 grows old and dies, buried with his virginity.
>>810 I demand that you get this party started
>>811
http://keatscollective.bandcamp.com/track/strawberry-lemonade
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1F7vwcIN04
http://cs8.s140.coreserver.jp/tai/maru71/01%20i%20want%20you.mp3
https://soundcloud.com/ticklishofficial/rescue-me
https://soundcloud.com/t_e_c_h_n_o_m_a_n/techno_2_masterd-wav
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAvNNNEs0Ao
I could keep going but I'll stop there.
>>813
I demand you listen to my PARTY MIX, listening to each song for at least 1 minute, and write your impressions!
>>812
i don't think any of these (except maybe for the first one) are really suitable for a party other than a BOOM BOOM RAVE BOOM BOOM BOOM DRUGS LOL BOOM BOOM BOOM
i particurlarly liked strawberry lemonade and rescue me
>>814
link a picture of yourself doing weird things (you may black your face out if you don't trust DQN (hint: you shouldn't (LOL PAREN NESTING)))
Done and done!
>>816 Wear two different flavours of deodorant at the same time, every day for a week.
>>816
That implies an objective measure of beauty, but beauty is in the eye of the DQN. I find a wide variety of things beautiful, from abstract geometric cityscapes (http://cargocollective.com/atelierolschinsky/STRUCTURES-V) to glacier volcanoes (http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2733/4490423858_98cba8bf85_z.jpg). It depends on my mood. Other people, I'm sure, have their own ideas.
So, I think the most beautiful world is one where we would live as consciousnesses in a vast net with the possibility to create and inhabit any possible world. A world made by and for artists. You could visit the abstract world of Dali until you grew tired of the melting clocks and moved to a peaceful mountain meadow populated by lesbian catgirls. Of course there's the problem of beauty unable to truly shine without ugliness for comparison, so there would be a small handful of malicious denizens that found beauty in trolling, spreading guro and goatse around people's idyllic pastures.
>>818
Imagine the ugliest world possible, and tell me all about it.
>>817
Your world sounds a little like the Metamorphosis of Prime Intelligence. If you haven't already, give it a read.
My ugliest world is a sand field. The sand is dirty. You can barely see the surface of the ground because it's covered in rotting wood and rusted metal. The only lodging is trailers, and the trailers are dusty and filled with spiders. They're filled with coupons from 1998 and empty bottles of Gatorade. The only work is lifting and rearranging to rotting wood and rusted metal. It smells like dust everywhere. The only entertainment is MTV.
>>819
Take a thousand dollars out of your bank account and spend it on a fancy watch.
>>819
http://minecraft.net/classic/list
Choose solidus server deaths, it's my server I built it from a poweredge 4600 and a dimension 5000
>>821
Set up a proper network of virtual machines to represent an internet: RNS, DNS, router, client, server, and NSA logging machine.
http://i.imgur.com/qs2AFrV.jpg
I demand that you find me an interesting and relatively obscure website to look at
>>823
http://www.ibiblio.org/lifepatterns/
>>825
I demand that you edit a Wikipedia article, somehow including the word "superstructure". Bonus points if it's an actually helpful edit.
>>824
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Very_Important_Person&oldid=597671767
I doubt it will stay there.
>>826
http://opaltapes.bandcamp.com/track/melting
I demand you listen to this track and write a review.
>>834
22:42 The Elitist Superstructure of DQN @ 4-ch
4-ch.net
22:38 GUNSHOW ARCHIVE
gunshowcomic.com
22:38 Gunshow - Dogs Rule
gunshowcomic.com
22:38 Gunshow - Cool Frog and Dolphin
gunshowcomic.com
22:37 don't get mad at video games - Google Search
encrypted.google.com
22:37 Cheap Arduino Module kits & Single-Chip Microcomputer Diy Supplies for Sale - DX
www.dx.com
22:09 Monotora - Battlelog / Battlefield 4
battlelog.battlefield.com
22:09 2835825_570_321.jpg (570~321)
sverigesradio.se
22:08 Battlelog / Battlefield 4
battlelog.battlefield.com
22:08 Welcome - Nectarine Demoscene Radio
www.scenemusic.net
>>835
I demand that you show us what is in your drawer.
>>836
Another day, another dance, another dead guy. I cantered about the stage, twirling an elegant fan. The small audience cared not for these aesthetic trappings.
"Just get him out here already!" a burly man shouted.
"Quiet, it's only going to take longer if you interrupt her," his smaller man bespectacled companion whispered angrily. I nodded silently. I was as bored as they were, but if I didn't do the dance right, nothing would happen.
After a few more minutes of whirling about, I finally felt the heaving in my chest. I froze and dropped my fan, then my whole body slumped down like a puppet. Somebody else raised my head back up.
"Who summons me?" a deep voice demanded through my mouth.
"Tell us where the money is!" the burly man shouted, "or we'll kill your family!"
"You dare disturb the afterlife to make empty threats?!" I boomed in a terrifyingly deep voice. "The idle matters of the living mean nothing to me."
The smaller companion with glasses was unimpressed. He stepped forward to speak.
"Come on, Kenta. If it means nothing to you, why don't you just tell us what you did with the money? Then we can all rest in peace. Ha."
"You fool, money is as meaningless as life itself! Why should I remember such an insignificant detail?" I shouted back.
"I was afraid it might come to this," Glasses sighed. He snapped his fingers. Two grunts jumped forward. Before I could react they had pounced on me. They pinned me to thr ground and tied my hands and legs together.
"These are soul-binding ropes, Kenta," Glasses said, pacing evilly around my helpless body. "You can't leave this poor little miko's body until I untie her. And everything she feels, you will feel. Gongon? The knife?"
The burly guy stepped forward with an evil grin. He took out a knife and licked his lips.
"Hey dead guy," I whispered inside my own head, "leave this to me." I began rapidly chanting a ritual under my breath. The wretched gangster was getting closer. I concentrated as hard as a I could and finished the spell just as he was about to slice apart my expensive hakama. Suddenly I was engulfed in holy flames. The fire exploded outwards, burning the ropes and blasting the gangsters to the ground. I took advantage of the confusion to make a mad dash for the mountains.
After running long enough to be sure they hadn't followed me, I stopped to catch my breath.
"Phew, that was a close one," I said. "I should have known not to take a possession request from the yakuza. But they paid me so well!"
"I thought maidens were above material needs," chided Kenta, the dead man in my body. I blushed at suddenly feeling my mouth move on its own.
"Hey! You don't need to talk with my mouth, just speak to me in my head!" I scolded.
"Like it or not, we're sharing this body now," Kenta said back, still using my mouth. "Since you burned the soulbinding ropes with holy fire, we're stuck together."
"EHHHHHH!??!?" my cry of shock pierced the forest. The camera sharply panned out, and a flock of birds flew out of the trees.
"Be quiet, they'll find us!" Kenta said through me.
"You're the one using my mouth still!"
"I know, it just feels too weird...too intimate," he said, blushing.
"You didn't seem so shy when you were in scary-ghost mode!"
"Yeah, well, I was fresh out of the afterlife. Now that I've spent a few minutes inside a mortal, my old personality is returning," Kenta explained.
"Well anyway, I can't live like this!" I exclaimed. "Now hurry up and get out of my body! Out out out! Come on!"
"I wish I could! Isn't there a dance or something you can do?"
"I haven't learned such a high-level dance!" I protested. "I usually just do quick 1-minute possessions so I can help the departed's family have peace of mind...and make a bit of cash!"
"Well, you better learn how to get us apart before we have to take a bath together. Ha ha!" Kenta joked. I blushed furiously and slapped myself in the cheek.
"Stupid pervert!" I shouted. "OUCH!" we cried together.
(1/2)
After an hour of hiking, we came to a long stone staircase that led to a magnificent shrine.
"This is Rakuhei Shrine," I said, as we climbed the steps. "My friend Haruka Rakuhei lives here. She's a really good miko. She taught me that fire spell for self-protection! I'm sure she'll know a way out of this predicament."
We stepped through the torii gate at the top, and Haruka came running out of the main shrine to meet me. She was stunningly beautiful as usual.
"Oh Kanae, I'm so glad you're safe!" she said, embracing me. "I sensed the fire spell earlier. What happened?"
"Er...hi, I guess," Kenta said through my voice. "Nice to meet you, I'm Takahiro Kenta. I got mixed up in some...uh...nasty business, and ended up dead..."
"Some yakuza made me summon this pervert," I interrupted, "and now he's stuck in my body! Hurry up and get him out already!"
Haruka just laughed.
"Nice to meet you, Kenta. How does it feel to be in such a sexy young body?"
We blushed a deep crimson red. "Haruka! Don't say such weird things!"
---
"Once two souls have been bound together by cursed rope, the only way to separate them is by untying or cutting the rope," Haruka said, reading from an ancient scroll. We were sitting on the floor of the shrine library. "But this doesn't say anything about burning it with holy fire."
"How are we supposed to untie the rope when it's gone!" I demanded.
"Hold on. This next scroll mentions an emergency ritual for splitting two souls. But it can only be performed with a special fan from Gentokyo."
"Gentokyo? But isn't that where the yokai live?"
"Yep!" Haruka seemed way too excited.
"But that's dangerous! We'll be eaten!"
"Haha, don't worry! Kenta will be with you," Haruka teased.
"H-hey, I don't know how to fight Yokai, I'm just a ghost!" Kenta protested.
"So it's decided, we'll leave for Gentokyo first thing tomorrow morning!" Haruka said cheerfully.
"You're not listening!!" Kenta and I chorused together.
---
to be continued?
>>839
I demand you write a short fan fiction about my short story.
>>839
A+. Reading this fanfic was a truly profound, life changing experience, on a par with a native American spirit journey or taking LSD. The text conveys its message with startling precision and insight, concisely and unpretentiously, without obfuscatory language. The short length leaves the reader with a sense of wonder at what goes unsaid - the author may directly ask only one question, but the reader is left with countless more. Ultimately, the text is a demonstration of Absurdist philosophy, challenging the idea that a story must have a moral, point, or meaning at all. This idea, that the author need not pander to the reader's every vagary, is sure to usher in a new age of literature. My favourite part is the crippling sense of existential dread the reader is left with after reading.
>>841
I demand that you spend at least ten minutes reading about a topic you know absolutely nothing about and post what you learned.
>>840
I chose the wikipedia article on phylogenetics. It looks like phylogenetics is a discipline more or less defined by the use of relatively complicated math to study the evolutionary tree of life. Supposedly there's Bayesian inference and stuff. The NSF funds a lot of this. There's a specific (ongoing) project devoted to just red algae, called RedToL. There's a big sequence database called GenBank, run by the National Center for Biotechnology Information, part of the NIH. Also, taxonomy is somewhat distinct from modern phylogenetics. Cladistics is a branch of taxonomy trying to bring taxonomy into line with phylogenetics, and phenetics is a branch of taxonomy that ignores phylogenetics entirely. It looks like phenetics is on the way out, although neighbour joining is still relevant.
>>842
I demand that you shave your legs and describe how it makes you feel.
>>842
Done! http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1288889234/52
>>844
I demand you message "I love you" to the next person who contacts you via email, IM, or text.
>>847
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKxarMc1_Kk
Isn't she sweet?
>>849
I demand that you bump at least one high quality old thread that you think deserves it.
>>850
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1514125464/
>>852
I demand that you list every present you receive for Christmas and give each of them marks out of ten.
Overall average: 7.75/10
>>853
I demand that you post something interesting in the /img/ image sharing thread.
>>855
I'm not posting with it in my ass because it became too uncomfortable, so I'll describe it from recent memory. It was slightly arousing to say the least and not a feeling I've felt before. Anyway, there's only so much you can say about such a thing.
>>857
I demand you make a throwaway account on a random forum, make a completely off topic thread and post the results here
however esoteric or weird is up to you
>>856
Hurry before it's deleted
https://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showthread.php?p=3929521#post3929521
>>858
I demand that you give me an interesting topic to research in depth.
>>858
Well, I wasn't able to read >>857's research on eproctophilia because he or she hasn't posted it yet (as far as I know.) However, I did read >>857's thread on BBQ Brethren. This was more difficult than I expected as I had to make an account and wait a few days to get approved just to read it.
>>857's thread and subsequent responses was mildly humorous but I read it all without laughing, so I'll consider that demand fulfilled.
>>860
I demand you post at least 100 times in the thread "[COUNTDOWN] >>900 ON THE 9000TH DAY OF THIS GLORIOUS MONTH".
>>860
One of my favorite text adventures is Slouching Towards Bedlam (http://ifdb.tads.org/viewgame?id=032krqe6bjn5au78) but you might already know about that. I also recently enjoyed A Dark Room (http://adarkroom.doublespeakgames.com).
A slightly more obscure text adventure that I highly recommend is Mastaba Snoopy (https://debacle.us/mastabasnoopy/). Oh, and Tower of the Blood Lord is pretty good too. (http://correlatedcontents.com/misc/Tower.html)
>>862
I demand you play one or more of the above games and write a short review here.
>>861
Mastaba Snoopy is both hilarious and horrifying. It is a clever amalgamation of weird Lovecraftian body horror and Snoopy.
If you think about it, the formula is not that difficult, and one that has been executed many times: take an innocent pop culture product which is overly mass-marketed (Snoopy, Garfield, Shrek, Minions, etc.) and transform it in a strange and horrifying manner.
Even if this concept is not exactly original, Mastaba Snoopy does a pretty good job of execution. One complaint is that the introduction is unnecessary, rather than providing an explanation for this Peanuts hell-world, I wish the game would just drop you into it without any explanation.
However, besides the lame introduction Mastaba Snoopy has pretty solid and entertaining writing. It is neither overbearing nor underbearing -- it is long enough to entertain but doesn't overstay its welcome. I think Twine is a great format for this style of writing, as the labyrinthine dialogue trees match the twisty maze of the Snoopy hell world. I'd love to see more text adventures like it.
Overall I'd rate Mastaba Snoopy 4 out of 5 Peppermint Patties.
>>863
I demand you post a screenshot of your bookmarks folder.
>>862
https://i.imgur.com/i543t6W.jpg
I hope this is satisfactory.
>>864
I demand you find me some interesting older threads to read through!
>>863
Please enjoy this selection of treasures from the Golden Age of DQN.
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1310158763/
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1266462475/
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1268174692/
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1326488419/
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1341413503/
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1142123105/
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1360180067/
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1333120510/
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1314324451/
>>865
I demand to know your middle name. If you do not have a middle name, I demand to know what you wish your middle name was.
>>867 I sang >>75's nursery rhyme with my glockenspiel in a church https://www.mediafire.com/file/6f7f0gnkdh5g6uw/Praise_The_Apple.mp3/file
>>868 I demand that you send a cheerful message to a friend you haven't spoke to in a while.
>>869 Oh yeah I did this the other day and forgot to tell you https://4-ch.net/img/res/1723.html#2886
>>871 Now you have to tell us a good joke.
>>870 A wee boy and his dad are in the bath.
The boy goes gDad what do you call this bit?h and points at his earlobes
Dad replied "They call that your earlobe cos it's the lobe on your ear!"
The boy points at his eyelashes and blinks a few times and says gDad what are these called?h
Dad said "They call them your eyelashes cos they're the lashes on your eye!"
The boy points at his belly button and says gDad what do you call this bit?h
Dad said "They call that your belly button cos it's the button on your belly!"
The boy said "hmmm" went to push his belly buttonc
Dad went "NOOOOO!" and lunged towards himc
But he was too latec the boy exploded
>>872 I demand you stick your finger in your belly button and give it a proper good wiggle
>>872
Unfortunately I can't help you with that (maybe some other kind soul will compose something for you, or maybe I'll remember it in a few years), but I can give you a zip file of all the imgur uploads in this thread, in light of the fact that imgur is planning to remove old anonymous uploads: https://files.catbox.moe/ieakgq.zip
>>874
I demand an interesting thread idea!
>>879
Maybe not the worst but perhaps the most "cringe":
https://files.catbox.moe/988duo.PNG
This one is pretty bad:
https://files.catbox.moe/f47yw5.PNG
I demand that >>881 post the thumbnail from their youtube recommendations which has the smallest view count.
>>880
https://4-ch.net/img/src/1683879563092.png
>>882
I demand to know your score on this test: https://theinnocencetest.com/
>>884
140.15
>>886
I demand to know your results on this test: https://bdsmtest.org/
>>885
http://bdsmtest.org/r/PDGJagKz
Half the questions imply I have any experience in the bedroom or with a partner so most of my answers were neutral. Sorry for ruining your fun. (I'm not actually sorry)
>>887
I demand you shuffle up a TCG deck and tell me what you topdeck.
>>886 I got this one https://www.tcgplayer.com/product/84909/pokemon-wotc-promo-dragonite-movie-promo?Language=English
>>888 I demand you do a headstand against a wall for as long as you can and tell us how long you were upside down for
>>888
The best anime of 1996, without any doubt, is Evangelion. Not only is the plot amazing, it delivers important themes about society and has a lot of symbols about religion. Pisses me off that people don't understand how beautiful this anime is and I just want to punch them in the face.
>>888
I think you should watch Famous Dog Lassie. I've never seen it and have no idea if it's any good or not, but I've heard good things about World Masterpiece Theater anime and 1996 didn't have a whole let else going on that I could see.
>>891
I demand you recommend me an anime from between 2000 and 2005.
>>891
https://www.nintendo.co.jp/n01/n64/software/zelda/
I'm afraid it only has one Link, but it is from 1998!
>>893
I demand you tell me about your most beloved childhood stuffed toy (and maybe even post a picture).
>>892 Starting from before I was forming coherent memories, I carried around a teddy bear which was, for some reason, orange, with brown footpads, muzzle, and inside of ears. I called it "Cheesebear". For a time, I was quite obsessed with Calvin & Hobbes, though it was not in our newspaper and instead I simply read it out of anthologies of it we had on our living room boomshelf, and I imagined Cheesebear in much the same way as Calvin imagined Hobbes. I still have it, sitting in my attic, overlooking the stairs, but I'm not home at the moment and cannot snap a picture.
>>894 I demand that you draw your favorite non-dinosaur fossil creature. A simple MSpaint doodle with your mouse will do; don't worry about it looking particularly good.
>>893
https://4-ch.net/img/src/1686666508463.png
I have nothing but love for my girl hallucigenia. What an absolute freak.
>>895
Fuck, marry, kill: Beady Eyes, Clonepa, Grandpa. I demand your answer with full reasoning.
I scored 83, I thought I was a bad guy, but I checked only 23 statements out of 100 so there is a problem with the scoring. For double sure I checked this and got 23 means I am pure https://drdeenz.com/rice-purity-test/