How about a universal remote control, with a built-in taser attachment?
And a hot plate!
The next caller will recieve a FREE 100GET!
I deny my 100 get inheritance.
I shamelessly inherit your 100 get and add an original feature !
Here's an idea: English instructions.
Sweden can suck my balls.
It should be poorly translated from Mandarin or Cantonese, using English slang inappropriately.
And meaningless diagrams. The instructions will need lots of meaningless diagrams.
Not just any meaningless diagrams, diagrams that are completely irrelevant to the RC. We could even make it impossible to tell what the diagrams are actually of.
The software running on the microcontroller shall be written in LISP.
But the software running the Barbie Doll artificial stupidity module shall be written in Prolog
A cup-holder should come attached to the instructions.
Back to those diagrams, could we use diagrams that are actually optical illusions and maybe even some of that Magic Eye stuff? Maybe even license M. C. Escher prints?
And the captions should be anagrams
We should make it smaller so it can fit in the box with the instructions.
No, we need to make the box bigger.
A box big enough to play in would be perfect!
Eliminating the box entirely so as to maximize microwave psychological brainwashing ray emissions.
「Adding Mark II neural network nodes.」
「Engaging transmission.」
「All systems ready.」
Making the systems solar-powered!
Making the system powered by a tiny sun.
The tiny sun better be covered so the user isn't blinded
But just in case it has braille on the buttons.
Buttons are obsolete! Let's replace them with multi-touch screens.
Touch screens will soon go the way of tactile response. Let's think ahead of the curve, and ensure the user can only input data by controlled blinking and/or clenching of the anus.
Also, an adaptive mode for those who are incontinent or shove huge things up their asshole.
and COOL FREE MITTENS
I think we should hire a better marketing team
>>125 Fuck that, let's hire TWO. They can compete and the loser gets laid off.
>>126
Marketing Team Chainsaw Deathmatch! TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVES
I'd pay to see that, wouldn't you?
>>124
Good first prototype, but I think you're missing the multi-touch capacitive LCD screen, hot plate, and emergency mitten storage hatch. It's supposed to be shaped like a cat penis skateboard, too.
I'd like to see the microcontroller programmed by Monday, if that's possible.
>>128 A ROCK HARD CAT PENIS skateboard. Don't forget the finger-swiping module and dryer lint compression chamber that makes emergency mittens.
>>130 You forgot sharks, fire, bears, and rocket launchers that shoot chest hair.
instead of chest hair they shoot out giant squid monsters with giant tentacles.
It needs an alternate fire mode so that pubic hairs can be shot when chest hairs are no longer availible
Lots of alternate fire modes! Single, Burst, Auto, Stun, Torch, Chaff, Shuffle, Repeat modes!
Also needs nekomimi mode
Why stop at nekomimi, give it a bunny girl mode as well. Hell, make a mode for every type of animal girl, gotta think big.
There must be a background check for people to buy this product. Easy mode needs to be reserved for elementary school children only.
More butts.
Softer, smoother skin. And fur as an option. Let's go full animal mode together with >>137!
Scales, too. And feathers. Really cash in on the furry demographic.
So where's the button that shoots out the magical loli oni piss?
>>142 The button next to the one that shoots frozen ice fairy pee.
We should offer a whizzard package with expanded piss options.
Well, it's okay that we cash in on various fetishes. Porn, as we know, sells [citation: your mom's credit card statement]. But we should also try to make it more aesthetically pleasing by adding polished metal bands. We could target higher classes by offering a variety of metals used—all the way to californium.
Again he uses fascist when he means authoritarian or totalitarian, which is a big lefty tell.
Calling any non-far-left regime fascist is pure virtue signalling with no other semantic content. What he really means is that the only effective curative would be worse (in his eyes) than the problem. He just knows he will instantly lose his audience if he says it that plainly.
We can add a fascist/anarchist switch for people that like to talk politics on the internet.
