I can't wait to hear what the Toilet King has to say about this
Stop! I will have no more of this degrading toilet humor!
Just what myself and stopped myself short of wiping, ready to report.
Position: semi-standing, slightly bent knees and leaning forward.
Direction: upwards (front to back but in this position).
Paper: specialised, slightly larger and denser sheet, single.
Alternative: two regular toilet paper sheets folded together.
Repeat with a fresh sheet if necessary, then take a shower.
Hope this helps! Happy shits and clean wipes!
There's not enough space in my bathroom to fit a bidet like we had back home, but I found you can use one of those big turkey basters (the BIG ones) to blast everything away very easily. You can pick them up from any of those bargain home stores.
Those bargain home stores also have the best deals on huge multipacks of toilet paper!
>>6 you can just squat in the tub under the spigot and wash your ass
>>8 I COULD but as I said, the turkey baster is much more convenient. (I just learned spigot means tap)
Big Q: have you developed a dedicated HOMO technique? Is it your dominant hand or the other one? Left or right?
HOMO stands for "hand of mechanical operations", i.e. the hand with which you will touch a door handle, move a toilet seat, flush a toilet, wipe and operate a toilet brush and/or a plunger if necessary. This way you will always have one hand relatively clean for using your phone or reading a book (you can rest them against HOMO forearm), picking your nose etc.
>>10 Us bikers call that your chocolate hand. I wrap my hands in my sleeves before touching anything, or use my chocolate foot when I can. I wash my hands often, so I was a bit -___- when they made a big deal out of washing your hands more oftenly during COVID-19 [COVert IDentification 2019 campaign].
>back-to-front
are you telling me there are people in this world who see a perfectly good gap between their legs and instead try to perform the heimlich maneuver on their ass?
I scrub it back and forward 'til it becomes powder
I do not wipe my ass, why would I when my forest of ass hair keeps everything nicely contained for me?
>>14
You could pinch those out while lying on your side, contemplating global problems.
I switched from back-to-front to front-to-back and I'm mad that I stopped clogging the toilet.
I pooped in the park the other day. I used the fall leaves to clean my butt, and I peed a little in my shorts as I pushed out my log. It was three AM and it was so cold, steam was actually emanating from my dump, like it was a scat doujin or something. I looked at my pile, and wiped my thing out and had a satisfying piss on it. I want to do this again, but maybe in the woods next time.