Clonepa or Superman?
...
People who don't refresh the page before they post vs. people who forget to do the second part of a two-part thread until after clicking Reply?
People who double post, because they are willing to put up with abuse while people who don't posit a deathmatch scenerio are just forgetful.
Pitt the Elder VS Lord Palmerston
Pitt the elder would against Palmerston initially but Palmerston would then use his power of manipulation to get Pitt kicked out of power.
Olde Fortran vs. The Earl Of Doncaster
Λ__Λ
( ﾟ mﾟ） I'm not really into the whole violence thing.
( ）
The poster above gets punched in the mouth
Fruit flies vs. House flies
House flies, they're much bigger.
Bull semen vs. monkey dung
Assuming we are talking about the excretions alone here, and not dealing with the animals as well, I will have to give this one to the monkey dung. Shit has staying power. Who ever heard of fossilized semen?
Ralph Fiennes vs. Liam Neeson
The one who carries out and is w will be the deciding factor
lion vs. tiger
Lion and Tiger make sweet love, and produce a Liger, which is pretty much my favourite animal, all of the time. That said, as it is neseccary the lion be the male in this pairing, the lion wins, because man > woman, always, except in some species of insects and arachnids where the female consumes the male after mating.
Pazuzu Vs Baphomet
Baphomet, because who ever heard of Pazuzu?
Guybrush Threepwood vs April Ryan
Guybrush Threepwood wins because he can summon more British football fans to side with him.
LJN NES games versus Ocean NES Games
Ocean NES games, because it rolls off the tongue quite nicely, unlike LJN NES games.
Hakurei Reimu vs. Saya from Saya no Uta
Reimu because bloomers > all
Miles "Tails" Prower vs Shinji Icari
Shinji giant robots are more powerful than twin tails.
Brahman or Jesus
Definitely Brahman. Jesus got his backside handed to him by a bunch of Romans - humans for crying out loud, how embarrassing - and only revived because his dad intervened. Brahman is an inconceivable infinite something-or-other, so I'm sure he can use his powers to destroy Jesus somehow.
You vs. ten angry cats
The ten angry cats. I don't have my weapons-grade pumpkin at hand.
Espeon vs Tokiko
Tokiko is more annoying but Espeon's posts are more cringeworthy. Espeon probably wins based on tenacity, but ideally the two would somehow annihilate one another leaving them both dead or otherwise unable to post.
Anhedonia vs. suicidal ideation
Rude, >>117.
No, they aren't. No, I don't. No, we wouldn't. Keep lying to everybody, but don't lie to yourself. Tokiko and I chatted happily on the wider internet, and guess what? I'm posting with a tripcode right now invalidating your hateful, uneducated opinion.
Back to topic, anhedonia would probably win. According to Wikipedia social anhedonia remains stable throughout life, whilst a person with suicidal ideation might harm himself or get forced into treatment. Anhedonia is also listed as one of suicidal ideation symptoms, so it can be that bad.
>>117 VS. butter knife in his hand.
If they work together, I suspect that the cast of RAW could, between them, overpower the Voynich Hotel owner. Realistically, there's likely to be a fair amount of infighting on the RAW side, so if the owner plays his cards right he could come out victorious.
Darkpa vs. a dalek.
Of course its Darkpa. However if you had've said Dälek instead maybe it would be a different story, it's hard to imagine Darkpa up against Swollen Tongue Bums.
My left hand vs. my right hand.
>>122
87.5% right. Still a chance for the left to win though.
10 Donkey Kongs vs 700 Pomeranians
For the Donkeys to win, they would have to take on (on average) 70 pomeranians each. Despite being decent fighters, I doubt they could survive the onslaught of the smaller animals, purely due to quantity. However, were the pomerianans to attack individually, I could see the Donkey Kongs winning easily.
Kaz Hiarai VS Reggie Fils-Aime
Reggie is a hearty guy, so you'd expect him to win. However, Kaz is Asian which means he's an expert in Karate. Kaz with the upset.
Frog vs toad
At first I thought you meant Frog from Chrono Trigger and Toadstool, which would have been a no-brainer as Frog has the Masamune sword. Even if he didn't however, he could punch Toadstool and be done with it.
Between a frog and a toad however, it would seem a toad has the ability to swallow most things one would not expect it to. This probably includes frogs, so no matter what tactic the frog uses it would eventually be eaten alive.
Immanuel Kant vs a house cat
Kant has been dead for 200 years, so the house cat would win by default. Even if Kant was alive, though, he'd get so wound up imagining a world in which everyone attacked cats that he wouldn't be able to attack it himself. This is a clear victory for the house cat.
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) vs (・∀・)
(・∀・) distracts ( ﾟ ヮﾟ) with OPPAI and attacks.
(・∀・) Wins!
FC3S Turbo Mazda RX-7 or Mazda RX-8?
Mazda RX-8, because 8 > 7, and putting meaningless numbers/letters and the word "turbo" in front of the name is clearly nothing more than a marketing ploy.
Yukari Yakumo vs Loki
Loki because, honestly, there's nobody trickier. #1 tricks.
Funeral attendees vs Wedding attendees. Assume both have the same number of attendees.
My first instinct was that the funeral attendees would be too distraught and weepy - not to mention averse to further death - to put up a serious fight. But it really depends on context. Beyond a certain point in the wedding, the guests tend to become rather inebriated, which would severely limit their fighting capabilities, and the funeral attendees could under certain circumstances end up with the "nothing left to lose" mentality which would make them quite formidable opponents. I suppose my money's on the wedding attendees, but it may well be a close one.
The Great Sky Loli vs the entire population of Luxembourg
Luxembourg because they'd resurrect Brandenburg and get the the gang back together and get a big old Holy Roman Empire war going.
Spinached up Popeye vs Popeye with no spinach, but he has superman powers.
Despite Superman's poor performance in >>1-3, Superman powers would actually be very helpful in this fight. In particular, flying out of reach of spinached Popeye would give unspinached Popeye a huge advantage, probably enough to win.
Kasodani Kyouko vs Sakura Kyouko vs Toshinou Kyouko vs Irisu Kyouko
I'm just gonna say Toshinou Kyouko cause i like her the most, seriously she's the best. Not from Yuru Yuri though, thats Yui.
A japanese businessman vs. A downs syndrome man with no arms
The Japanese business man since he most likely has arms and normal brain functions.
Cumulonimbus vs cirrus
Cumulonimbus wins through vertical superiority.
The ghost of Biggie vs. The spirit of Tupac possessing two present-day rappers (who?)
Trick question; everyone knows rappers don't have souls. The winner is Clonepa.
Fourier transform vs Laplace transform
Fourier transforms can carry out w in only the most contrived of cases, whereas your average Laplace transform can not only carry out but actually be w. Also, "Laplace" rolls of the tongue much easier than "Fourier".
http://secretareaofvipquality.net/saovq/ vs http://sageru.org/index.html
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The Wizard of Yendor vs Erina from Rabi-Ribi (with backup from Ribbon)
I have no idea who they are, so the coin toss says the Wizard takes home the trophy.
Aaahnold vs. 30 5-year-olds hell-bent on murder.
the governator is old and bad, murderous children have the advantage, so them I guess.
Sunred vs. one-punch man
An easy win for Saitama. The fight is over before it's begun.
Hanako (from Katawa Shoujo) vs Hanako (from Anne Happy) vs Hanako (Princess Hitachi) vs Hanako (the lonely elephant, as she was before death)
I'd put my money on princess Hitachi as an elephant as old as Hanako would probably accept death, and the rest are 2D fucking drawings so just use an eraser.
Hitler or Mussolini, hand to hand.
Jim Carrey starts off strong by putting the Mask from the movie "The Mask" on, but Myers brings it right back at him by transforming into Shrek. Carry unloads a full tommy gun clip into Myers, but to no avail, because Shrek is just a CG animation. Carry then removes the mask and becomes ACE VENTURA and summons an army of assorted animals to attack Myers. Myers can no longer take it so he transforms into Austin Powers and bites off all of the monsters heads with his large teeth. As Ace, Carry is woeful at the loss of all of his animal friends. Carry gives up Mike Myers wins.
C9 Mango VS. Reynad
Reynad's forehead strikes terror into even the greatest of men. Mango is no match.
Queen Elizabeth II armed with a crossbow vs Emperor Akihito armed with a shortsword
Lizzy is a skilled sharpshooter and ten'nou heika is working on plans to abdicate due to poor health, plus the natural disadvantage of having a melee weapon against someone with a ranged weapon. Elizabeth II is the clear winner, I think.
10 clones of Hulk Hogan in his prime vs an enraged silverback gorilla.
This comes down to the Donkey Kongs vs Pomeranians issue seen in >>123,124; namely, does the silverback fight the Hulk Hogans one by one or all at once? One by one, I can see this being an easy win for the gorilla, but against all at once, even some basic coordination could result in one or two Hogans holding down each limb, safely incapacitating the gorilla.
A little girl dressed in boys' clothing vs a little boy dressed in girls' clothing
>>150
Boys are stronger than girls plus the added freedom of a dress will improve the boy's movement capabilities.
Fingers vs toes
>>151
It comes down to STR vs DEX: the toes are stronger, but the fingers more agile. I would expect fingers to win because they can cooperate better.
Unless Kirby can inhale him absolutely instantly and stay like that, Jotaro's Star Platinum will squish him like a bug.
You vs your sibling closest to you in age, both parties armed with daggers.
>>154
Definitely my lil bro; though I have more endurance, he's taller and stronger and would end me quickly.
Monsanto vs. Pfizer
Pfizer has a small army of synthetic chemists armed with nasty chemicals; Monsanto just has a bunch of harmless farmers and biologists. It'll be a protracted battle given how spread out Monsanto is, but ultimately my money's on Pfizer.
Captain America vs Captain Metaphysics
>>156
Both would win according to their own definition of winning.
An old man vs Death
The old man may win the battle, but Death will win the war.
One elephant-sized crocodile vs twenty pig-sized crocodiles, all at the same time.
It sounds like the size difference is pure scaling, so by the square cube law the elephant-sized crocodile will be at a significant disadvantage. I'm giving it to the pig-sized ones.
The cast of Azumanga Daioh (sans Sakaki and Kagura) vs the cast of Hidamari Sketch. Three days of prep time, supplies are whatever they could readily access and carry, but no foreknowledge of their opponents. The battlefield is about 4 square km of a deserted city (a la Escape From New York). Assume Osaka does not have access to true immortality.
When the two parties first catch sight of one another, having been expecting far worse enemies, they are so relieved that they all throw down their weapons and declare a truce. Together, they make introductions, chat, set up shelter and so on. After a few days, however, supplies begin running low, all avenues of escape have been exhausted, and it becomes obvious that whatever sick bastard forced them into this situation isn't letting anyone go until they've seen some carnage. Tensions rise. Arguments break out, factions form, lines are drawn in the sand. Shadows move in the darkness. The night air is rent by screams and incongruous giggling. When dawn breaks, the only survivor is Chiyo-chan gripping a bloodstained palette knife, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth, whispering under her breath "tsukurimashou, tsukurimashou..."
An adult tyrannosaurus rex vs a T-26 tank.
Tank cannon go boom. Lizard go splat.
Train vs airplane.
The airplane drops a bomb on the nearest railway station and that leaves the train stranded. The airplane wins.
Stephen King vs Steven Spielberg
Steven Spielberg, on virtue of both his ties to the Mossad and not being in a wheelchair.
Hakurei Reimu vs Batman
In an open arena, Reimu's levitation and indiscriminate curtain fire danmaku could easily overpower Batman. On the other hand, if it's in an enclosed space with cover available, and especially if Batman has the element of surprise, a single well-aimed batarang to the hitbox could probably bring down Reimu.
An applied mathematician vs a pure mathematician
An applied mathematician has the virtue of being able to apply his mathematics to whatever he may wish, and he is not confined to the blackboard. A pure mathematician is. Based on his expanded breadth of capabilities, the applied mathematician wins.
The community of DQN vs captcha
DQN becomes obsessed with making sentences using the captcha. Captcha uses this opportunity to deliver a powerful uppercut. Captcha wins.
The number 6 vs the number 7
6 is made to cease existing by the elitist superstructure and 7 wins by default.
An uncircumsized penis or the majestic 12.
The penis, being a non-sentient part of a greater being with no will of its own, is unlikely to be able to put up much of a fight. As the question does not specify any sort of accompaniment to the organ, meaning it is presumably just sitting there inanimate and defenceless, I'm going to have to give this one to the twelve.
Anna Karenina vs Nastasya Filipovna
Nastasya's Roghozin assists will be the thing to really tip the scale in her favor.
The New York No Wave scene vs the early Japanese noise scene
Both sides blast noise at one another until they go deaf. The result is a draw.
Tatsuhiro Satō vs Ōba Yōzō
After a fruitless and crazy argument about who has the greatest inner pain, they both agree to a suicide pact and prepare to jump off a cliff. However, memories of Misaki stop Tatsuhiro at the last moment while Oba jumps off.
AKB48 vs. Morning Musume (top 10 members from each group)
All else being equal, AKB48 has a larger pool from which to draw combatants, plus they already survived that one handsaw attack, so I'd go with them.
Youmu Konpaku vs Miyamoto Musashi
Given that Youmu can fly, can fire waves of danmaku from a distance, and has a sword that can cut through literally anything, I'm pretty certain she's going to win this one.
A lion vs a polar bear
Lions are just fancy cats. Polar bears, on the other hand, are fancy bears. Polar Bear wins.
45 Kangaroos vs. The Dark Magician
According to the first result on Google, the Dark Magician is a small rectangular card with text and illustrations on it, which rather limits its offensive or defensive capabilities. I'm going to have to give this one to the kangaroos.
You with your arms from the elbows down replaced with chainsaws vs a grizzly bear with both hind legs broken.
The chainsaws are heavy, and I have no way of starting them. I run away as the bear drags itself by the front legs and eventually collapses. I win on paper, but can never truly rejoin society because of the chainsaw arms.
SpongeBob SquarePants vs a sea cucumber.
SpongeBob has plot armor. He technically already defeated a sea cucumber indirectly in "I'm Your Biggest Fanatic"
An anime director vs a mangaka
Mangaka has superior wrist and finger strength, allowing them to snap the anime director's neck like a japanese twig.
Jerry Seinfeld with a rocket launcher vs an attack helicopter
The bus driver thinks he can easily take the taxi driver being in the bigger and stronger vehicle but taxi driver surprises him by taking out a gun from his sleeve and shoots him
Oda Nobunaga vs Justin Trudeau
Nobunaga is already dead, meaning he is the winner.
Captain Planet vs Ivan Ooze
Ivan Ooze wins because "Heart Power" doesn't work very well on anything.
K-selected people vs R-selected people
Hopefully, K-selected people.
Coffee vs a smoothie. The coffee is in a styrofoam cup.
coffee wins because of the heat
2ch vs 4-ch
It's like the Battle of Rorke's Drift, we barely manage to win.
Bricks vs. cement
Because cement is so formless, the bricks are unable to damage it. By the time it hardens the bricks have been absorbed.
Hiroyuki Nishimura vs Ben Garrison
Ben, because Hiro is genuinely retarded.
Man made of corn vs Man made of yams
The man made of corn, because while I don't know what yams are, I assume he has no teeth, therefore he's gonna look pretty funny trying to beat a man made of corn with no fuckin teeth!
St. Mary of Egypt or Yamada from B Gata H Kei?
If we're talking about pre-conversion, then Mary clearly has the stronger will and strength of character, and will certainly not be outdone by an amateur like Yamada. If you mean post-conversion, Mary will probably be weakened by her time in the desert, and will be unable to put up much of a fight.
You armed with a lightsaber vs every US president in order, unarmed, coming at you in waves of five at a time. You are allowed a break of five minutes after each wave. The presidents are allowed to plan and confer before attacking, and know what happened in previous matches, so they can learn from their predecessors' mistakes. Assume the battleground has no cover, no terrain that could be relevant tactically, and nothing that could be used as a makeshift weapon.
This is really a question of whether I'll accidentally cut my own limbs off. I'd bet on the presidents.
HAL 9000 vs these verification codes, but Bowman is pulling out logic boards at about the same time as depicted in the film, with roughly the same effect.
If HAL 9000 can lipread in real time, I'm sure it can read slightly distorted nonsense words almost instantly, faster than Bowman can pull out the boards (takes several minutes in the film). It might conceivably mistake a u for a w or vice versa, but on balance my money's definitely on HAL.
Stephen Hawking vs Davros
Powered wheelchairs are not yet allowed at the paralympics so probably Davros. But Hawking would get more support from the public.
Donald J. Trump vs Hillary R. Clinton
danald tromp
MAGA
I'd be inclined to say Donald purely on size difference but having seen his wrestling ability I think Hillary could get a quick 1-2-3 with little effort. Pre-match promos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kbryz0mxuMY
Tim Mack, the 1-pin bowling star, vs Garry Kasparov, the chess master
The skills developed in bowling (strength, precision, hand-eye coordination) are highly applicable to physical confrontations, whereas chess generally favours careful thought and long term strategies. Above all, chess is tightly constrained to a set of rules in a way that fighting is not. On background alone, I think Tim has the upper hand.
( ・-・) vs ( ⌒-⌒)
( ・-・) has eyes open, and is a clear favorite.
Red vs Blue
Red represents anger and violence, blue is calm and serene. Blue is clearly superior.
Ewoks vs. Gungans
Gungans are more advanced than Ewoks. I'd give it to the Gungans.
Keyboards VS Mouses?
Keyboards win by having more commands than computer mice. However, if someone had really good voice command software and a mouse with several buttons, the mouse might win. Some keyboards include a miniature pointer, mini trackball, or touch pad to get some of the pointing ability that computer mice have.
K-pop vs J-pop
Having heard of one band that converted from K to J, but none the other way around, I can only assume J-pop is superior.
Foot with 5 big toes vs. hand with 5 thumbs