[VIOLENCE] ITT we decide who would win the fight set up by the poster above us (364)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5792 00:15

Clonepa or Superman?

315 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10433 21:50

Chickens can be pretty vicious, for sure, but their beaks and claws are too small to do any lethal damage to a human. The woman, meanwhile, could pretty easily grab the chicken by the neck and strangle it or smash its head against a rock, without it having much opportunity to fight back.

Ornstein vs Smough

316 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10434 00:19

Smough. He's only two letters away from though.
Thoughers always win

317 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10434 10:43

A lesbian (homosexual woman) vs a Lesbian (resident of the island of Lesbos)

318 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10434 15:44

neither, the vibrator
300 chihuahuas or one tiger

319 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10434 20:15

Tigers are ambush predators specialised for taking down singular, large animals, so the tiger would be somewhat out of its comfort zone here. On the other hand, chihuahuas, while very vocal, are not remotely trained or bred for violence. I could well imagine the tiger running out of stamina, but I couldn't imagine the chihuahuas effectively capitalising on this weakness -- even against an incapacitated tiger, they would have difficulty landing any kind of killing blow. I would be inclined to give it to the tiger.

You armed with a glaive (or other polearm of your choice) vs an alligator.

320 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10434 20:39

The alligator. I'm a fucking PUSSY!

Audiobook vs Keyboard

321 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10434 21:33

keyboard. im a keyboard warrior
wojak versus pepe

322 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10435 16:17

Wojak has survived and morphed to this day, and has become very popular from its humble origins as a krautchan meme. Pepe has mostly faded and Apu and the one with no neck with the wine glass have become more popular than it. Wojak would outlast Pepe in a fight.
Albania vs North Macedonia vs Greece

323 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10435 23:25

The Balkan Empire is all that remains in the end.

Atlantis vs the Mu Continent

324 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10437 16:09

Nobody's heard of the Mu continent, so they have the element of surprise and win.

Father Dougal McGuire (Father Ted) vs Alice Tinker (The Vicar of Dibley)

325 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10466 10:21

Sailor Jupiter. Send a lightning bolt in the croc swamp and zap them to death.

326 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10466 22:35

They are both overwhelmingly more likely to accidentally injure themselves in some wacky slapstick fashion than they are to injure one another. I suspect the result would be a draw, or at best one might win by default if the other messes up badly enough.

Rei Ayanami (Neon Genesis Evangelion) vs Rei Ayanami (The Rei's Diner)

327 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10469 16:20

My bets would be on Rei Ayanami.

Jules Verne's dinosaurs hiding inside the Earth vs Nazi dignitaries hiding inside the Earth

328 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10469 17:31

Dinosaurs, no contest. Nazi artillery/tanks (if the dignitaries even have them) would be at a tremendous disadvantage given the underground terrain and lack of lighting, while lighter weaponry would do little against the thick hide of a voracious T-rex.

Fox vs swan

329 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10580 00:02

Fox, it is a better predator.

Astolfo vs Bridget

330 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10580 08:30

>>329 Bridget would probably whap out his massive cock and smack Astolfo about the face, causing instant death.

>>331 Rishi Sunak vs Liz Truss

331 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10580 11:40

Whoever wins, we lose.

Alien vs. Predator

332 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10580 13:08

Predator, until Alien glitches the thermal sights.
Excalibur vs Masamune

333 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10591 11:35

Masamune would snap excalibur like a twig.

Person with anorexia vs person with morbid obesity.

334 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10591 18:43

Obesity Man beats Anorexia Man in strength and defense but Anorexia man has the upper hand in speed and evasion over Obesity Man. A coin flip I guess?

Morrissey vs. Robert Smith

335 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10600 10:43

Briefly glancing over their respective Wikipedia articles, Smith's mentions him getting beaten up as a kid whereas Morissey's does not, so I'll go with Morissey.

Love vs fear

336 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10621 18:36

Fear will just run away and forfeit the fight.

Blind man armed with a sword vs unarmed Average Joe

337 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10622 10:51

Have you ever read Shigurui? The blind man, no contest.

An elephant vs an unarmed man

338 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10623 02:08

The unarmed man simply does a Dark Souls dodge roll when the elephant telegraphs its wind up attack and then takes advantage of the iframes to quickly counter with an R1 to the elephant's trunk, killing it instantly.

A blind man with swords for arms vs a regular guy with a sword

339 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10623 19:02

I don't think having an additional sword is going to be enough of an advantage to outweigh the disadvantage of being blind, especially given having swords instead of arms, rather than in one's hand, would substantially reduce your reach.

You vs a Mr. Mime.

340 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10757 22:37

Mr. Mime only exists inside the computer. By contrast, I only exist in front of the computer... Stalemate!

Ranch vs Cool Ranch

341 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10757 23:45

>>340 ...R-R-Ranch?

>>342 My face vs. >>340's gun in my face

342 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10758 12:36

You stupid bitch. You stupid fucking bitch. I can't believe how dumb you are. Jesus Christ, I can't believe how fucking dumb you are. You're the dumbest motherfuck-

You on a hang glider armed with a machine gun vs a giant dragonfly approximately the size of a light aircraft. You automatically lose the fight if you land on the ground, but have enough height/thermals to stay airborne for at least ten minutes. Assume you are strapped to the hang glider such that you can use both hands for the machine gun (but cannot steer at the same time).

343 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10758 12:44

Clever manoeuvering and sustained machine-gun fire should make quick work of the beast... It would be more interesting however to try to capture it alive, to see if the mechanism of its wings could be transferred to mechanical ornithopters.

Cute girl vs cute boy

344 Name: sage : 1993-09-10758 13:01

I'm with Allah cause he chose me, broke into the Vatican strangled the Pope with his rosary

345 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10758 13:14

Obviously the cute girl. Have you seen how much combat experience she has?

Yoshinoya veteran vs guy on the opposite side of the U-shaped table.

346 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10775 18:53

>>345 Which one has the most experience with Japanese police. I'm betting on that guy, because they know how to force a criminal confessional out of an innocent person.

Sheyllna Ampat VS Myranda Didovic

347 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10779 20:21

There are no winners here.

>>344 armed only with a rosary and Allah's blessing vs Pope Francis and his cardinals.

348 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10780 07:50

Pope Francis would be raped and slaughtered easily

Robin Williams vs some spare rope

349 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10780 17:00

Historically it appears the rope won that particular confrontation.

Wizard vs cleric

350 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10786 16:38

>>349 The wizard has a more eclectic selection of spells and is not bound to the same standard of morals as a cleric. While the cleric may sometimes have the power of a god on his side, it's not necessarily going to be a powerful god, and the pure Stirnerite egoism inherent to a high-level wizard is hard to overcome. I'm handing this one to the wizard.

>>351 Virtual Youtuber vs Physical Twitcher

351 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10790 00:23

Depends on who has the most vapid porn addict zombie followers on only fans. If shefs a woman with tits, Ifm handing it to the twitch streamer.

Lolis vs FBI

352 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10790 05:55

Let's be real, the elden meme was true: There are no girls on the Internet. Only the FBI in disguise. And the Deep State has a Deep Monopoly on Deep Violence anyhow.

Neckbeard who has actually read Lolita vs. neckbeard with a concerningly large loli folder but nothing technically illegal

353 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10790 13:32

Lolifolder-beard's brain has been reduced to mush from endless masturbation but he has a strong left arm. Lolita-beard's brain is in a much better state thanks to his literary forays but he lacks physical strength. I'm going to give this to Lolita-beard because, as we all know, brains beat brawn.

( ) vs (L<_M @)

354 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10790 13:58

One look in (L<_M @)'s eyes is enough to tell you he has lost every fight he's ever been in, and this will be no exception. Even with ( )'s punches being padded by the mittens she's wearing, she has the unquenchable motivation and perseverance to come out on top.

Diablo (Diablo) vs Satan (The Binding of Isaac) vs Cyberdemon (Doom)

355 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10791 12:07

Satan will shoot the Cyberdemon until it dies. Diablo will then wipe the floor with him because if some pussy kid can kill Satan with his tears, Diablo sure as hell can.

YHVH (Shin Megami Tensei) vs God (Silent Hill) vs Deus (Xenogears)

356 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10800 22:43

How can you kill a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence!
Acreuid (Type-Moon) vs Lain Iwakura

357 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10801 12:08

Even ignoring the whole vampire thing, Arcueid is an adult and hence considerably stronger than Lain. The Wired isn't going to do anything to protect you from a fully grown woman kicking you in the stomach.

Yurie Hitotsubashi (Kamichu!) vs Friedrich Nietzsche.

358 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10802 12:27

Nietzsche would die from syphilis before the fight even began.
Kratos (God Of War) vs Exdeath (Final Fantasy)

359 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10850 13:24

As best I can tell, both of them are canonically immortal, so I imagine it'll be a stalemate.

Shadow the Hedgehog vs Rainbow Dash

360 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10850 13:31

Shadow has 5052 images on R34 and 6.2k images on e621, for Dashie the numbers are 16k and 26k respectively... Ultimately the loser is me, for having to visit those websites.

The total strength of Israel's military vs a war elephant

361 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10852 13:33

Sadly, I just can't see any way for the elephant to win this one.

Edward Cullen vs Jacob Black

362 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10853 02:57

Jacob Black. I donft see how an emaciated Caucasian snow nigger like Edward could ever stand up to a native who can turn into wolf man. Hefd get scalped ISIS style and die of hemophilia complications.

Adolf Hitler vs Jesus Christ

363 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10853 10:52

Jesus would whip Adolf money-changers-in-the-temple style and Adolf would curl up in the fetal position and cry like a baby.

Pyramid Head vs Komachi Onozuka

364 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10866 21:42

In a direct fight, Pyramid Head. But Onozuka-san could beat him easily by feeding James his anti-depressants.

Adolf Hitler vs A Bottle of Cyanide Pills and a Revolver

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