[VIOLENCE] ITT we decide who would win the fight set up by the poster above us (539)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5792 00:15

Clonepa or Superman?

515 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11206 23:48

>>514
Spanish flu killed over 100 million in just three years thats more than double what bubonic plague killed in seven years.

>>516
The US department of justice vs the elitist superstructure of DQN

516 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11208 09:42

>>515
The Elitist Superstructure need only pull a few of our strings with SEELE and the DoJ will roll over and do anything we ask.

>>517
Magikarp vs feebas.

517 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11228 00:42

>>516
Both are pretty weak water Pokemon that cause pretty much no damage but Magikarp has slightly better base stats.

>>518
Konata Izumi vs Arcade Gamer Fubuki

518 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11270 01:53

>>517
Fubuki does not buy sausage, putting her at a handicap in Sausage Legend Online, the venue of this match. Konata will easily defeat Fubuki with her superior wiener, pictorial evidence of which can be found on websites such as e-hentai and gelbooru.

>>519
An Apollyon-class SCP versus a Great Old One

519 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11270 20:50

>>518
The Great Old Ones famously cannot die, whereas (even if it runs counter to the securing containment and protection principles) SCPs often can. I think the GOO will find some way to win on a long enough timeframe, or at worst could settle things as a stalemate.

>>520
Dragon vs lich.

520 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11310 04:05

>>519
A rotting corpse does not stand a chance against a dragon, except maybe a bearded dragon and even then the lizard will probably outlive that thing. Corpses dry out and decompose quickly, especially in tropical climates where bearded dragons are to be found.

>>521
The cast of Azumanga Daioh vs Yuyushiki in a battle royale.

521 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11310 05:05

>>520
I see no reason to believe this would go any differently than >>160 did.

>>522
Your favorite Touhou character vs every Jewish person in the world

522 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11310 11:06

>>521
Israel cannot defeat Marisa. Since no Jews no longer believe in Judaism, their powerful magical kabbalistic powers have all but disappeared and Zionists quickly take over the struggle. While Jewish-American lawyers file a million lawsuits and appear on CNN to denounce Touhou fans and preach self defense, the IDF bombs Hakurei Shrine and destroys every school, orphanage, and hospital in Gensokoyo. Myouren temple is also bombed for harboring youkai. Angry Jewish mobs raid anime stores in Brooklyn while terrorism experts discuss radical weeabooism on TV. Moot is hunted down and lynched. Jewish protestors camp outside the Japanese embassy demanding ZUN be brought to justice. While Reimu is killed in a CIA drone strike, the Touhou Jihadist Resistance Movement pledges to keep up the fight with Iranian support. Gensokoyo is blockaded with US backing. Result: stalemate. But only because the Jews succeeded in bringing in Uncle Sam. This is obviously cheating leading to disqualification as per DQN rules but we can not give Touhou fans the win because the ADL is litigating against us in court.

>>523
Madoka Kaname vs Harvey Weinstein

523 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11310 13:32

>>522
Assuming she doesn't have her magic powers, Weinstein would easily overpower and defeat Madoka, however Homura would then rewrite reality and kill Weinstein before he's even born making Madoka the de facto winner.

>>524
Big the Cat vs GLaDOS.

524 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11310 19:06

>>523
GLaDOS wins this easy. Neurotoxins make the for the best pest control.

>>525
Saddam Hussein vs Zhang Zongchang

525 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11311 11:29

>>524
Hussein would commit suicide out of shame on seeing Zongchang's legendary 86 Mexican silver dollar coins long schlong.

>>526
The Hamburglar vs The Noid.

526 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11324 01:17

Sabotage is more effective than mere burglary, so advantage Noid.

Rick Sanchez vs. Loki.

527 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11325 09:57

>>526
Loki would run circles around Rick. It wouldn't even be close.

>>528
Dostoevsky vs Tolstoy

528 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11325 13:40

>>527
Tolstoy lectures Dostoyevsky on pacifism and non-violence as the latter begins sawing into the old man's throat with a prison shank.

>>529
Moot vs Lowtax vs Hiroyuki vs Elon Musk (can bring allies and supporters)

529 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11325 16:13

>>528
Lowtax is eliminated immediately on account of already being dead. Elon Musk quickly works up a sweat during the fight and a few droplets of moisture land on his Cybertruck, causing it to burst into flames and explode, killing everyone nearby. Result: 3-way draw.

>>530
Jane Touhou vs John Darksouls

530 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11325 17:44

>>529
John will be severely limited by his inability to fly. From his perspective, this will essentially be like the Moonlight Butterfly fight but with ten times more projectiles and without his enemy conveniently coming within halberd distance every so often. As bows are extremely slow and predictable, his best bet is likely to be ranged spells -- all of which are very easy to stream away from from as danmaku. Unless John gets extremely lucky with a Sunlight Spear to Jane's hitbox, she will swiftly end him.

>>531
Lunarians (Touhou) vs Lunarians (Houseki no Kuni)

531 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11326 20:49

>>530
The outcome of this battle might depend on if it takes place on the Moon, and if rabbits are included. The big disadvantage the Touhous have is that they aren't really immortal and can die, unlike the other lunarians who regenerate when they're killed. However, their technology appears to be quite primitive. I think it would be fair to say that if the battle took place on the Moon,and the Touhous had their moon rabbit army they wouldn't stand a chance. If they were going to fight the ones at Eientei then it might be more contestable, but as I understand it they aren't really gods either, and they also have the earth rabbits to defend them so they might also be defeated easily in that case. So I think the Touhous would win.

>>532
Lunarians (Touhou) vs Mooninites (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)

532 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11334 11:27

>>531
Lunarians. They have powers. What are the Mooninites going to do with those LEDs?

>>533
B-Ko (Project A-Ko) vs Mitsurugi Meiya (Muv-Luv)

533 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11336 11:59

>>532
Having no experience of either piece of media, I'm going to go with B-Ko as her fan wiki article mentions her building robots to fight on her behalf. Even if she has to fight alone without robot backup she clearly has the mind of a killer.

>>534
Bear vs shark in a hot dog eating contest.

534 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11336 13:24

>>533
The outcome of this battle depends on a variety of factors. Bears bulk up before winter and can eat more than their combined total bodyweight and after hibernation they are usually quite hungry and will wolf down whatever they can get their claws on, so seasons will be an important factor. Sharks are less gluttenous and will usually quit when they've had their full. But sharks vary in size, from small lemon sharks to huge whale sharks, and the larger species could probably swallow the entire pile of hot dogs whole before the bear can finish his plate. Based on this factor alone, I give the shark the win.

>>534
Clint Eastwood (Man with no Name) vs Revolver Ocelot

535 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11339 15:15

>>534
The small jungle cat is at a serious size and strength disadvantage against a human, and that's before we even get into its impaired coordination as a result of being rotated. Thankfully, however, the other combatant, being a man with a name without a name, is a paradox who cannot exist, leaving the ocelot to win by default.

>>536
Kyubey vs G-Man

536 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11380 15:29

>>535
Since G-Man has the ability to manipulate the fabric of reality itself, he can rig the contest in his favor with no way for Kyubey to stop him.

>>537
Kikiyama vs ZUN

537 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11381 11:02

>>536
You can see by the fact his games end with all the characters sitting around drinking tea, and they have an elaborate form of ritual danmaku duels rather than physically fighting one another, that ZUN clearly eschews and shies away from violence. In contrast, the violent and disturbing motifs in Kikyama's work show he is prepared to take a kitchen knife to another person if it comes to it. Kikiyama is the clear victor.

>>538
Cloth mother vs wire mother.

538 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11400 11:44

>>537
The winner is debatable but the clearest loser here was research ethics.

>>539
27 year old man vs 58 year old man

539 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11400 18:06

>>538
Yeah, go figure.

>>540
Suigintou vs Remilia Scarlet.

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