[Part II] The previous poster is a nerd [otaku] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6132 12:09

>> Has a pocket protector made of gold

350 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 00:14

>>349 is working on a breadboard-based CPU.

351 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 01:15

>>350 built a CPU on a potato.

352 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 09:46

>>351 prefers a frictionless vacuum

353 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 10:58

>>352 is starting a business where he will sell perfect vacuum pumps and massless frictionless chain.

354 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 16:20

>>353 has a small business website that sells cute Darth Vader plushies. His brilliant viral marketing techniques soon generated him enough monthly revenue to allow him to live in his mother's basement permanently.

355 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 16:23

>>354 lives in an abandoned missile silo filled with the components for his latest electronic attempt at world domination.

356 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 17:28

>>355 bought a hovercraft for the sole purpose of filling it with eels.

357 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 19:25

>>356 bought an empty oil drum for the sole purpose of making the world's largest Giga Pudding, and incidentally encouraging obesity.

358 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 22:20

>>357 has a Unix beard.

359 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6302 22:28

>>358 Is so successful at credit card hacking that he has spent as much as every nation's national debt.

360 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6303 00:31

>>359 built an electric car capable of driving from Fairbanks to Miami without needing to be recharged.

361 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6303 02:54

>>360 built a working arc reactor after watching Iron Man, but lost it somewhere in his room.

362 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6303 08:46

>>361 undresses and takes out the baby oil before he begins reading about physics.

363 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6303 21:02

Many's the time >>362 has enjoyed the unique physical properties of baby oil (incidentally the subject of his latest term paper).

364 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6304 03:23

>>363 is so literal-minded that he refuses to use "baby oil" that isn't made from real babies.

365 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6304 12:17

>>364 is so literal-minded that he got fired for eating a customer's food after asking if he could take their order.

366 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6304 17:05

>>365 has completed all 100 million levels of Blue Sphere.

367 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6304 23:43

>>366 wrote a Blue Sphere level editor in BRAINFUCK then created another 100 million levels.

368 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6305 18:28

>>367 wrote a programming language that makes Brainfuck look like BASIC in comparison. He then programmed a new Unix shell in it.

369 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6305 19:01

>>368 does his coursework in Brainfuck.

370 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 01:02

>>369 Makes so many scientific tests that there are no more theoretical physics.

371 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 17:47

>>370 has a very complex and nearly incomprehensible theory about that.

372 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 17:51

>>371 replaced string theory with integer theory.

373 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 19:29

>>372 Is a car nut that has a theory of evolution which accurately predicts what the next Mitsubishi Lancer will be like.

>>372 also has a theory that shows how the new Lancer will compare to the next Subaru WRX and whatever AWD VW will be built.

374 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 19:40

>>373 has surpassed the need for cars by perfecting his solar-powered jetpack.

375 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 21:11

>>374 is so nerdy that he refuses to use a jetpack without first putting on a silver jumpsuit and goggles.

376 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6306 23:08

>>375 wishes the Cybermen from Doctor Who were real and coming to upgrade him.

377 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 00:00

>>376 Doesn't wish the Cybermen were real because they could not offer anything to upgrade >>376's jetpack.

378 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 13:12

>>377 is Newton's ghost.

379 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6307 22:22

>>378 is calling the Ghostbusters this very moment.

380 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 10:49

>>379 is writing a 10 kg book about the various nuances of fighting the supernatural.

381 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 12:07

>>380 pays the writers he publishes by the weight of their hardcover editions. As a result, most of his books are now printed on 120g/m2 paper.

382 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6308 23:21

>>381 once went a whole day without thinking about computers or mathematics. The night after, he had a curiously abstract wet dream. He awoke to find a proof of Fermat's last theorem written on the bedsheets in his own semen.

383 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 01:44

>>382 attempted to do the same thing, but the next morning what he found written in semen was "I have discovered a most marvellous proof, but this bedsheet is not wide enough to contain it."

384 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 01:54

>>383 Also attempted the same feat, and then farted Morse code for a month, and decoded, would be the method for building a time machine capable of moving the entire population of China in one trip.

385 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 18:06

>>384 once attempted to contemplate the beauty of woman, only to find that he had actually been thinking about Dan Farmer.

386 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 20:15

>>385 does all his Japanese homework in 4koma form.

387 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 20:52

>>386 particularly likes the Intel family of processors.

388 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6309 21:37

>>387 once went to the bank to cash a paycheck for $1024, and when they asked him how he wanted it back, he asked for two $256's and four $128's.

389 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 03:27

>>388 would have preferred one $512, one $256, one $128 and so on, such that the sum of the denominations would tend towards $1024 until the teller gets annoyed.

390 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 06:32

An infinite number of >>389 walk into a bar...

391 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 11:15

... which is just fine, because >>390 is the bartender, and his bar is located in Hilbert's hotel.

392 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 17:16

>>391 has an infinite number of cigars, and he's happy to share, just don't tell his boss.

393 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 18:04

"Poly no meal" makes >>392 chuckle.

394 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 18:53

>>393 cannot chuckle without snorting. He is also the only person within 50 miles of his home who still finds Dilbert amusing.

395 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 19:49

>>394 bears an alarming resemblance to Dilbert.

396 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 23:36

>>395 had his mouth surgically sealed to bear a closer resemblance to Dilbert.

397 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6312 01:12

>>396 wears kitty ears 24/7 and has applied to legally change his name to Catbert.

398 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6312 23:52

>>397 wore a trench coat and all of his electronics made him look like an upgraded version of Inspector Gadget

399 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6313 01:17

>>398 attached electronic parts to his body, claiming to be "borgifyink" himself.

400 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6313 01:18

>>399 read User Friendly even after it stopped being an Internet phenomenon.

401 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6313 01:34

>>400 thought User Friendly ever was an Internet phenomenon.

402 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6313 02:21

Even >>401's brain pancake crystal elderly

403 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6313 17:40

>>402 translated that to Swahili and back, just because he can.

404 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6313 18:49

>>403 attempted to translate this thread into Lojban, but had to give up around >>402.

405 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6313 23:46

>>404 covered every song in the "ITT we chose the wrong genre to cover a song" thread.

406 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6314 00:51

>>405 would have preferred to make a 'Post Not Found' joke.

407 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6314 01:45

>>406 found a "forbidden" joke to be not acceptable

408 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6314 22:34

>>407's life is dictated by the Three Laws of Robotics.

409 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6315 19:15

>>408 once built a robot to write more Asimovesque short stories. It committed suicide.

410 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 01:16

>>409 demands a moeblob robot waifu who will cosplay with him.

411 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 04:26

>>410 built a Yuria 100 Shiki of his very own.

412 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 13:44

>>411 Made a computer past the turing test because he is an expert at cross dressing.

413 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 22:27

>>412 cross-dresses as Yuria 100 Shiki.

414 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6318 02:03

>>413 is an expert at identifying cross-dressers.

415 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6318 02:16

>>414 writes erotic "Sliders" fanfiction.

416 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6318 02:22

>>415 visits fchan.

417 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6318 02:45

>>416 bought a bear-suit pyjama so he could be closer to Lain.

418 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6321 02:05

>>417 bought a Tauntaun sleeping bag so he could be closer to Luke.

419 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6321 14:47

>>418 Built the world's fastest Segway. He set the speed record at the Bonneville Salt Flats, Daytona raceway, and the Gainsville drag race.

420 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6322 02:58

>>419

Leaves his computer on all night torrenting bizarre japanese fetish porn.

421 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6322 08:07

>>420 is building a time machine with the express intention of sending BitTorrent technology and a large portion of bizarre japanese fetish porn into the early 90s to accelerate the development of bizarre japanese fetish porn.

422 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6322 17:47

>>421 is funding that project.

423 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6322 21:15

>>422 wears a panda suit and invites people to punch him on the streets of Brooklyn.

424 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6323 00:52

>>423 Paid a plastic surgeon to turn him into a catgirl

425 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6323 02:08

>>424 was convinced a plastic surgeon to turn him into a catgirl free-of-charge.

426 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6323 12:00

>>425 will wear a catgirl costume, free-of-charge

427 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6325 19:49

>>426 scans ukiyo-e plates and uses reaction images from them.

428 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6334 18:25

>>427 gives his USB flash drives names like "Sparkle" and "Starburst"

429 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6334 18:29

>>428 scoffs at anyone who uses USB flash drives, and instead carries around multiple external hard drives.

430 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6334 19:03

>>429 has a keyring of USB drives.

431 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6334 23:54

>>430 Will recover your data from a crashed hard drive for free, so long as you have bizarre porn on it.

432 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6335 02:20

>>431 will do it with or without the bizarre porn, because he loves hard drives that much.

433 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6335 08:25

>>432 wept when his hard drive died, carries around its lifeless corpse in his pocket and calls it "onii-chama" during long dark nights at home, alone.

434 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6335 09:29

>>433 is >>432 making a shameful confession.

435 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6335 17:51

>>434 Is a van customizing nerd that made a copy of the 1980s Ninja Turtle van, A-team van, and a VW Microbus from some film about pot smokers.

436 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6338 17:50

>>435 added warp nacelles to his van, and wired them up to light up realistically when the engine is running.

437 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6338 19:34

>>436 was voted "most likely to be arrested for driving a consistent eighty-eight miles per hour in the middle of town during a thunderstorm"

438 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6338 20:17

>>437 drives at breakneck speed across the country looking for towns that resemble those from Pokemon games.

439 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6339 14:48

>>438 is widely rumored to liek mudkips.

440 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6339 18:56

>>439 has a party comprised of six Mudkips, each nicknamed one letter to spell the word "MUDKIP."

441 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6340 11:26

>>440 has taught himself carpentry in order to make as much mudkip-shaped furniture as humanly possible.

442 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6343 18:23

>>441 Can quote the entire Chinpokomon South Park episode in 20 different languages.

443 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6343 18:39

>>442 fitted an anemometer in his toilet so he could measure how hard he pees each time, then makes graphs using the data

444 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6343 19:27

>>443 did the same, and trying to correlate the measurements with sunspot cycles, the orbits of the planets, and stock market data.

445 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6343 23:14

>>444 built a miniature replica of Stonehenge out of Sharp X68000 cases.

446 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6344 02:36

Imported a X68000 computer at great expense just to play a Ginga Eiyū Densetsu strategy game he saw advertised in Login Magazine.

447 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6344 21:42

>>446 cannot parse citation syntax because is posting from from an Atari Falcon.

448 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6345 00:10

>>447 Remakes the worst Atari 2600 games for modern consoles. He just finishing making a Custer's Revenge remake for Nintendo wii.

449 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6345 02:02

>>448 requested it and is even now practicing his hip-thrust action.

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