>>0 gets an honorary mention in nearly all ITT threads relating to the previous poster, despite never making a single contribution of his own.
>>266 can identify the exact temperature of butter from fifty feet away
>>267 can choose between skunk, dead fish, and rotten egg scents for his farts at will.
>>268 can telekinetically completely excise cancerous tumours, leaving no trace - but only if the patient is already dead.
>>271 can tell with 100% accuracy whether a post on the internet is sarcastic or not, but only if he never replies to it.
>>272 can turn any of their body parts into stone permanently
>>273 can transmute organic chemistry textbooks into inorganic chemistry textbooks and vice versa.
Thanks to >>274's high vitamin K levels, their wounds heal slightly faster than is usual.
If >>278 maintains skin contact with a person, they become unable to solve differential equations.
>>279 can digest their food 2 seconds faster if it was distributed by a company that begins with the letter X
>>281 can make penises run out of jizz twice as fast as normal
>>282 can make authority figures run out of patience twice as fast as normal.
if >>283 concentrates hard enough he can turn a casette tape into "in the aeroplane over the sea" for a short period of time, this power was really useful and would have saved the world in the 90s before he was born.
>>284 can change into a cute loli at will, but will always get fucked by a horse
>>288 can make any carbonated beverage go flat simply by looking at it.
>>289 can make himself irresistibly seductive to Polynesian investment bankers.
>>291 can left click by winking his left eye, right click by winking his right eye, and scroll by picking his nose.
When >>292 attempts to impersonate Sean Connery, he sounds just like Bane.
>>296 Has always been able to predict that some bullshit financing scheme will be created, and it will fuck up the economy, but the can't tell what that scheme is, or when that scheme unravels.
>>297 is always able to retain the ability to know what day of the week it is during long periods of unemployment
Upon meeting someone, >>298 can instantly tell whether or not they have any Mongolian ancestry.
Pocket calculators in >>300's possession work 1.5 times as fast.
At will, >>301 can cause his digestive system to push waste and food matter in the opposite direction for twelve hours.
>>302's nose hair, if pulled out and braided together, can function as an ethernet cable.
>>304 can change his facial features to those of Beavis or Butt-head at will.
>>308
Can transform 100 pennies into a dollar bill within 10 feet of an open bank.
>>311 has laser vision, but instead of firing out of his eyes the lasers fire into them, blinding him.
>>318 can grow armpit hair at will, but can't retract it back.
>>319 can smoke cigarettes without getting cancer, but was born with AIDs
>>321 can predict the future with perfect accuracy, but if he ever lets that knowledge influence his speech or actions in any degree, the future changes.
>>323 Can have anything he wants, so long as the item makes his life more miserable.
>>324 can enlarge penises at the cost of deadening their nerves for the duration of the enlargement.
>>326 can sort an array of integers in O(1) time, but they have to represent the number of apes in africa
>>329 can think of the funniest jokes but only after they've been broadcasted on TV.
>>332 Can detected if someone has PTSD by using the sound of bombs exploding loudly.
>333
Can induce PTSD using bombs.
>>335 can accurately measure the temperature of a flame by holding his hand over it for at least 30 seconds.
>>336 is a master of any instrument not in the same room as him.
>>337 can understand any language, but can only communicate by way of drum solo.
>>339 Can turn his blood into wine, but only while its in his body, and only in quantities of one liter at a time.
>>340 can shoot with extreme precision, but only when firing at 8-year olds.
>>341 is a master of knife combat, but only with butter knifes.
>>344 can melt ice by staring at it for long enough in a warm room.
>>348 can shapeshift into a small pebble at will. He cannot shapeshift back into a human, however.
>>350 can teleport anywhere without atmosphere. He doesn't get to keep anything on him he wasn't born with.
>>351 can shoot laser beams from his eyes, but only if there are already laser beams of equal or greater intensity shining into his eyes.
>>352 can telepathically convey the exact time to any cat he looks into the eyes of.
>>353 can seduce a snake of any species. This ability may only be used once.
>>354 can arrange colours in order of their bit-shifted RGB value
>>355 can pass any Ishihara test with a perfect score, despite being severely colourblind.
>>356 can ossify all his cartilage in response to a high dose of radiation.
>>357 can hypnotize rats to make them hypnotize other rats. This is the only thing the rats can do.
>>358 can learn the exact location of a random fly somewhere within 5 miles by swallowing a live toad whole.
>>359
Can transform into a a toad. A normal toad. His mind, obviously, is also turned into that of the toad, since you could never fit a human brain in a toad body.