ITT the previous poster has a largely useless superpower (512)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6330 08:33

>>0 gets an honorary mention in nearly all ITT threads relating to the previous poster, despite never making a single contribution of his own.

463 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8302 16:36

>>462 can convert holy water back into normal water by waving his hand over it and reciting the Lord's Prayer backwards.

464 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8302 18:35

>>463 can wear shades in the dark without it negatively affecting their vision

465 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8302 19:30

>>464 can swap their earwax with their bogeys internally by way of pirouette.

466 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8302 21:24

>>465 Can make a gasoline engine sound like a diesel engine.

467 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8302 23:38

>>466 Can't die February 29th

468 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8305 07:52

>>467 can make any man's facial hair grow 2.6% faster

469 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8306 04:39

>>468 is a panda

470 Name: i L_T`j : 1993-09-8306 05:40

>>469 can, thrice per day, temporarily (1d10 seconds) make opponents confused as to which thread they're in.

471 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8306 13:12

>>470 can live indefinitely as a panda believing it's a human without ever succumbing to cognitive dissonance.

472 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8306 18:27

>>471 can ejaculate low-fat salad dressing on the third Tuesday of every month.

473 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8311 12:05

>>472 Can climb half of a stair.

474 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8311 15:36

>>473 at all times knows the exact perpendicular distance between himself and the nearest panda. Curiously, the distance is always zero, even if he isn't around any pandas.

475 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8312 08:52

>>474 is a werepanda.

476 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8312 19:16

>>475 can use literally any possible object as a bottle opener.

477 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8313 04:44

>>476 looks good in ANY hat

478 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8313 11:32

>>477 was bitten by a radioactive panda and gained the superhuman powers of digesting raw bamboo and not breeding.

479 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8315 01:22

>>478 Can make himself look like a comic book villain by applying toxic chemicals to his skin.

480 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8315 04:55

>>479 sweats delicious fresh honey

481 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8315 11:40

>>480 can fold a piece of paper indefinitely many times.

482 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8316 03:33

>>481 can turn anything into a bong.

483 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8316 21:02

>>482 can cure a lactose intolerant person for 30 minutes after having sex with them.

484 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8316 21:39

>>483 can pass off incredibly useful superpowers as being largely useless

485 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8317 12:34

>>484 finds the big bang theory to be a hilarious show

486 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8317 19:00

>>485 can fart an etude in D minor while it rains

487 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8319 07:16

>>486 doesn't need to defecate. All of the waste he produces extrudes from his oral cavity.

488 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8319 14:45

>>487 doesn't cast any shadow.

489 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8394 08:47

>>488 can read people's minds, but only if they're thinking about muesli.

490 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8394 15:38

>>489 can cook minute rice in under 30 seconds

491 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8394 19:24

>>490 doesn't need to look both ways before crossing the street

492 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8394 21:35

>>491 can convince anyone that he is Bosnian, in spite of any and all evidence to the contrary.

493 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8395 02:08

>>492 can read instruction manuals at lighting speed but only when he doesn't need to read the instructions

494 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8395 03:22

>>493 can think of creative useless superpowers for small internet forums

495 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8395 03:51

>>494 can suck on as many lemons as he wants without succumbing to the tartness.

496 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-8395 03:55

>>495 can get away with using normal toothpicks instead of cocktail picks

497 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8395 13:09

When >>496 mixes any two colours of paint together it always makes a dark green colour

498 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8395 17:13

>>497 Can play Cheetahmen without jumping in midair.

499 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8396 11:20

>>498 can communicate telepathically with the dust mites living on his eyelashes.

500 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8397 21:18

>>499 can survive a kick from One Punch Man.

501 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9519 14:30

>>500 Has never lost a participation trophy in school.

502 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9519 15:33

>>501 can set himself on fire at will.

503 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9519 16:17

>>502 Can perfectly recite the history of BBS in one rant at any time, so long as there is someone who is listening to the whole thing.

504 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10206 14:59

>>503 can play vinyl records between their butt cheeks.

505 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10207 11:15

>>504 can communicate with penguins. However, penguins universally refuse to communicate with >>504 due to a prior diplomatic incident.

506 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10209 13:55

>>505 can perform automatic lobotomies, but only on gumby figures made before the year 2003

507 Name: (@L_T`) : 1993-09-10210 07:31

>>506 can breathe automatically, but blinks manually.

508 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10210 10:53

>>507 can turn invisible, but only to light frequencies in the microwave spectrum.

509 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10210 11:55

>>508 can pass through here, but only if he asks for permission first.

510 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10211 12:54

>>509 can pass through air, even without asking permission!

511 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10560 15:15

>>510 can fly, but only up to 10cm off the ground and when no one's looking

512 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10560 16:13

>>511 can recite the Yoshinoya kopipe at will, in any language, forwards or backwards, at up to triple normal talking speed.

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