>>0 gets an honorary mention in nearly all ITT threads relating to the previous poster, despite never making a single contribution of his own.
>>462 can convert holy water back into normal water by waving his hand over it and reciting the Lord's Prayer backwards.
>>463 can wear shades in the dark without it negatively affecting their vision
>>464 can swap their earwax with their bogeys internally by way of pirouette.
>>469 can, thrice per day, temporarily (1d10 seconds) make opponents confused as to which thread they're in.
>>470 can live indefinitely as a panda believing it's a human without ever succumbing to cognitive dissonance.
>>471 can ejaculate low-fat salad dressing on the third Tuesday of every month.
>>473 at all times knows the exact perpendicular distance between himself and the nearest panda. Curiously, the distance is always zero, even if he isn't around any pandas.
>>475 can use literally any possible object as a bottle opener.
>>477 was bitten by a radioactive panda and gained the superhuman powers of digesting raw bamboo and not breeding.
>>478 Can make himself look like a comic book villain by applying toxic chemicals to his skin.
>>482 can cure a lactose intolerant person for 30 minutes after having sex with them.
>>483 can pass off incredibly useful superpowers as being largely useless
>>486 doesn't need to defecate. All of the waste he produces extrudes from his oral cavity.
>>488 can read people's minds, but only if they're thinking about muesli.
>>490 doesn't need to look both ways before crossing the street
>>491 can convince anyone that he is Bosnian, in spite of any and all evidence to the contrary.
>>492 can read instruction manuals at lighting speed but only when he doesn't need to read the instructions
>>493 can think of creative useless superpowers for small internet forums
>>494 can suck on as many lemons as he wants without succumbing to the tartness.
>>495 can get away with using normal toothpicks instead of cocktail picks
When >>496 mixes any two colours of paint together it always makes a dark green colour
>>498 can communicate telepathically with the dust mites living on his eyelashes.
>>502 Can perfectly recite the history of BBS in one rant at any time, so long as there is someone who is listening to the whole thing.
>>503 can play vinyl records between their butt cheeks.
>>505 can perform automatic lobotomies, but only on gumby figures made before the year 2003
>>507 can turn invisible, but only to light frequencies in the microwave spectrum.
>>508 can pass through here, but only if he asks for permission first.
>>509 can pass through air, even without asking permission!