INSTANT REVIEW: C
You can complain all you want, it's not going anywhere anytime soon.
INSTANT REVIEW: C++
You can complain all you want, it's not going anywhere anytime soon++.
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
Mediocre language for mediocre minds.
INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
After using it for eight years, I am still not halfway through learning it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Pascal
What good is it to design a language for learning and not for using?
INSTANT REVIEW: Modula-2
THIS IS JUST LIKE PASCAL, EXCEPT YOU HAVE TO SHOUT.
INSTANT REVIEW: Standard ML
People who majored in CS because they're too dumb for maths love this language.
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
A guy holding a gun to my head could make me write readable code too, but I wouldn't like that either.
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic for Applications, Localized
I used this once, and I've been trying to forget it ever since.
INSTANT REVIEW: SQL
SQL is the COBOL of the nineties.
You forgot VB.NET.
... And C#.
But he didn't forget Poland. ;)
INSTANT REVIEW: PHP
Consistency? That's the hobgoblin of small minds. php.net/manual/ needs more traffic anyway.
PHP SUCKS.
>>14: Agreed.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
A programming language developed in Japan which is known by ten Japanese people and ten thousand geeky American otaku who learned it solely because it is a programming language developed in Japan.
haha, GNAA is wapanese
>>17 gnaa.us is powered by PHP5. Team Barry on the otherhand, uses Ruby/PostgreSQL/NetBSD.
INSTANT REVIEW: mIRC SCRIPTING
Created to make the front end of some random IRC client have a bit more functionality, so then people went and made text editors, mp3 players, image viewers and web browsers and call themselves "coders".
[b]INSTANT REVIEW: HTML[/b]
It's not a language, doofus.
INSTANT REVIEW: BBCode
As dumb as the people who implement it and also not a language
INSTANT REVIEW: Javascript
A prototyping object based language that is a joy to use but is forever doomed to spend its years detecting browsers in web pages that insist on pixel-perfect CSS.
>>18 why did GNAA demand that 4chan admit ruby is awesome and port futallaby to it, then? :\
or maybe it was iichan, i forget
>>24
iichan used Wakaba and was never flooded (vericodes)
I was struggling to come up with something about Javascript. Thanks!
Could it be because they are a trolling organisation??
/INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp/
A language which mysteriously makes everyone who learns it sit around on IRC complaining about how every other language is worse than Lisp.
INSTANT REVIEW: WakabaMark
A language I can't remember how to use.
INSTANT REVIEW: Prolog
slow(prolog).
esoteric(prolog).
mostly_useless(X) :- esoteric(X), slow(X).
?- _
INSTANT REVIEW: BASIC
Older versions are better.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shell
echo "You must be looking for this: find /usr/ -name perl 2> /dev/null | grep "/usr/.*bin/perl" | sed -e "2~1d""
INSTANT REVIEW: Shell [correction]
echo "You must be looking for this: `find /usr/ -name perl 2> /dev/null | grep "/usr/.*bin/perl" | sed -e "2~1d"`"INSTANT REVIEW: Lua
Only game programmers use it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Forth
IS RPN SUPERIOR;
INSTANT REVIEW: perl
Simultaneously the best and worst write-only programming language.
INSTANT REVIEW: Javascript
I turned it off.
INSTANT REVIEW: Regular Expressions
I guess... I don't see why it has to be so complex. Check for an @, then check for at least one . after the @. I can't think of any valid, modern email addresses that break that.
The rules for what a valid email address are are much, much more strict and complex than that. You can do what you suggested, but you'll catch lots of addresses that are invalid, too. This is for making sure an address is strictly valid.
TECO called, and it wants its macros back (and some coffee).
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
owns
>>43 lacks funny.
INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN
Your parents dabbled with it in college so they say "know how computers work, stop talking down to me!"
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
My code actually looks pretty now! But I can't remember what it does anymore.
INSTANT REVIEW: TECO
[1 J^P$L$$
J <.-Z; .,(S,$ -D .)FX1 @F^B $K :L I $ G1 L>$$
INSTANT REVIEW: Whitespace
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
Sucks
>>50 is DQN
INSTANT REVIEW: VBScript
Some bright spark thought it would be cool to make VB's Very Bad syntax scriptable in a browser . sigh
ASP
SQL MArkup Language
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
Swiss Army Ballerina
INSTANT REVIEW: OCaml
(you (can (look (make it)(like lisp)) too));;
>>40 valid email addresses include "<>" and "justaname", they don't have @'s.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
Things are automatically better if they're Japanese.
INSTANT REVIEW: Clean
When will... the hurting... stop
INSTAN REVIEW : PHP
<? for( ; ; ) ?> <?= "THis is PhP" ?>
>>59
shrug No worse than perl. And that example is too mundane. That's useless for the sake of it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Humourless Dunce
plz read >>60 4 info
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
InstantReview no62 = (new InstantReviewCreator(InstantReviewFactory.get())).newInstantReview()
INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
"#()%$/#"()=%/=")(/#%"$%?=)"#)$?=)"#?=¿!"($)="%?=$(%?(
>>59,62,63 are missing the point. This is not the write-one-line-of-made-up-code thread, it's the Instant Review thread.
>>62
no no no! You must follow established best practises down to the letter, everything else is wrong!
InstantReview no62 = InstantReviewBuilderFactory.getInstance().newInstantReviewBuilder().newInstantReview();
no62.setInstantReview("Just do what it says, don't think about it.");
> INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
> Star Trek for programmers.
Now THAT'S more like it!
INSTANT REVIEW: Dylan
LISP pretending to be C (and object-oriented.)
INSTANT REVIEW: .NET
= Same as Java - Platform Independence
INSTANT REVIEW: C# (sharrrp)
So that VB programmers can feel like real programmers. Also see >>67 >Java
INSTANT REVIEW: VB
GWBASIC without line numbers
INSTANT REVIEW: ObjectPAL
VBA with weirder syntax, basic regexp support, and more fatal crashes.
INSTANT REVIEW: C++
C--
INSTANT REVIEW: bash
you need me nomatter what the review!
INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C
Smalltalk and C are great! Let's program in both of them at the same time!
Perl:
perl -e 'print map {(split(//))[0]} (q study abs, q chomp getc, q die bind, q lstat eval, q g u fag, q die bind, q lstat eval, q y u r gay, q wantarray qw, q y 4chan is gay, q crypt ungetc, q next warn, q eval time, q die bind, q keys break, q qw uniq)'
INSTANT REVIEW: Ada
Lets blow up the world!
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
NullPointerException
INSTANT REVIEW: >>81
GA
INSTANT REVIEW: Assembly Language
Kill yourself in 1001 easy steps.
INSTANT REVIEW: MATLAB
Vector math and DSP FTW!
INSTANT REVIEW: Applescript
Tell every reader of the post "Applescript" of the thread "Instant Reviews" of the board "Programming" of the site "4-ch" of the Internet : Making programming easy for morons makes it hard for programmers. End tell.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
The bastard child of Smalltalk and Perl.
INSTANT REVIEW: VHDL
For something that depends on bit and bit_vector so much, it sure hates literal bit strings.
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
def __Too__ Many(self, Ugly):
"""Symbols"""INSTANT REVIEW: Brainfuck
>+++++++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++[<++++>-]<+.+++++++..+++.[-]>++++++++[<++++>-]
<.#>+++++++++++[<+++++>-]<.>++++++++[<+++>-]<.+++.------.--------.[-]>++++++++[
<++++>-]<+.[-]++++++++++.
ITT we write in English as she is spoke.
INSTANT REVIEW: VB.NET
If YouAre.FuckingMoron = True Then
Kick.Self("InAss")ElseIf
Invest.Stocks("Google")EndIf
These are supposed to be instant reviews, not instant lame code samples.
btw, >>ElseIf
gg.
>>93
Those are reviews. Don't hate just because you can't be as witty as other people.
No, >>93 got it. This is not the "oh-so-clever pseudocode describes what the language" thread, this is the INSTANT REVIEW thread. Reviews are written in English. There's really not much that is witty about writing pseudocode. See >>65, and also see >>1-10,14,16,19-22,28-29,31,34-37,45-46,57,67 and so on.
Fucking prudes.
Why do people who don't get the jist of threads like this have to go and shit on them :(
INSTANT REVIEW: >>95
idiot
INSTANT REVIEW: C#
Modern hindi
I can't decide if >>101 is some totally hilarious joke I don't get, or just plain nonsense. Most mysterious!
>>103
That was kind of my idea, but it seems that I somewhat failed :(
INSTANT REVIEW : SCHEME
i'm glad KATE has 7 different colours for parentheses, the code looks just like rainbow afterwards
>>105
never seen scheme source or used kate, but I lol'd anyway
INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
At least it's not C shells.
Instant Review: tcl
A great way to protect your IRC chan from takeover
INSTANT REVIEW: mIRC script
Perhaps the only "language" designed specifically to code trojans and virii.
INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
Singly-linked lists are the best data type EVER!
>>110
In all fairness, you could describe Lisp the same way.
INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
Just like that other language.
INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEW
Stack Overflow
INSTANT REVIEW: C
C = (BCPL--)++
INSTANT REVIEW Visual BASIC; Star BASIC
Object oriented PASCAL with added DIM statements and SUBs for that kitsch Olde Worlde feeling
Instant review: Python
clean and nice
Instant review: Ruby
Kawaii desu ne
Instant review: Java
Enterprise-grade, industry-standard, scalable language to meet business needs, maximize profits and convert visitors into customers
Instant review: Perl
The goggles, they do nothing!
>>117
Oh, boardmarkup messed with my Python review. clean and nice were between two underscores on each side each.
>>119
Who the hell is Wakabamark? (I know, I know... lurk more... but you can't expect me to know the names of everyone here.)
Instant review: Perl
Write only.
Instant review: Python
Easy to write concepts.
"Easy to write concepts"? What the hell does that even MEAN?
That it's good for prototyping but little else?
A different view of Java, based on the rather disturbing fine print in the licensing agreements:
Don't use this code for realtime control, for weapons systems, or for
anything else that may put life or limb at hazard. It isn't man-rated,
it isn't really thing-rated, and we don't claim that it's worth a good
G*dDamn for anything at all, at all.
-- Mike Andrews, on JavaINSTANT REVIEW: PHP
for(;;)if(pcntl_fork())posix_kill(posix_getpid(),11);Instant review: AutoIt
Brave little toaster
INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C
Oh Yeah, now we're talking! =)
INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C 2.0
Bring on the goodness! =D
wanna try and make a os?
because if ya want to e mail me to computervirusdocter@yahoo.co.jp
ok
come
onn
INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN
Great if you want to make a super computer.
INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN/COBOL
1960 just called, it wants its code back.
INSTANT REVIEW: C
'We stopped when we got a clean compile on the following syntax:
for(;P("\n"),R--;P("|"))for(e=C;e--;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("|"+(*u/4)%2);'
>>137 ("_"+(*u++/8)%2)
Is dat some addition of strings??
>>138
It will return either '_' or '`' as a char, or as a char cast to whatever the prototype of P accepts.
The value from '(*u++/8)%2' is either a 0 or 1, cos it is the remainder of dividing '*u++/8' by 2.
This is then added to the char value of '_'.
As to what the point of it is, I have not a clue! I would like to know what P does, if it is meant to do anything at all...
Hope this helps! (and is correct...)
INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
Now, which of the 300 hundred ways of parsing a string should I use...
>>139
"" is a string, not character, literal. That expression adds 0 or 1 to the address of the string, producing (the address of) either "" or "".
Damn it. Preview post and I both fail.
INSTANT REVIEW: D
This is what happens if you use C++ too long.
>>139
>>140
Actually, I don't have a freakin clue what this does. I ripped it from the GNU humour pages: http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/unix-hoax.html
INSTANT REVIEW: 8052 ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE
200 lines of code, just for displaying "Hello World" on a LCD.
Google uses python.
Google, however, does not use >>144.
>>143
Nice :)
INSTANT REVIEW: HTML
Newbie: Yeah, I can only program in HTML...
Me: 0_o' ... go home.
wow >>146 you must have a big e-penis to be able to call other people newbies
INSTANT REVIEW: Genetic code (DNA)
Not a real programming language, so obviously it's ultimately useless and for noobs only.
>>148 hah
>>148
INSTANT REVIEW: Genetic code (DNA)
God: Sup guys?
Darwin: 0_o' ... go home.
Oh yes, that is indeed a mortal sin, worthy of eternal contempt and mockery.
Christ, man, get over yourself.
>>151
so people who are new to coding don't know what they're talking about? phwoar, who woulda thunk! thank you for your instant review; it was an educational experience.
next time more funny though, please.
INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEWS of programming languages thread @ 4-ch
ITT we post INSTANT REVIEWS (with more funnay)
INSTANT REVIEW: WakabaMark
__*Bold and italic*__
**_Bold and italic_**
___God dammit___
** * EAT FLAMING DEATH! * **
>>154
There, the funniest thing I could think of. And by the way, how DO you make something bold and italic in WakabaMark? Because, I really don't know... ^_^;;
>>155
<b><i>like this?</b></i>
actually, you don't. you don't make text <b>bold</b> or <i>italicized</i> with wakabamark, you make it <em>emphasized</em> or <strong>strongly emphasized</strong>. combining emphasis and strong emphasis doesn't really make sense. if you want to make things bold and italicized, use html instead of wakabamark.
Instant Review: .NET
cross-platform shmosh-platform
INSTANT REVIEW: C
Remember back when they said C was a cross-platform language?
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
Remember back when they said Java was a cross-platform language?
C is a cross-platform language, dammit, unless your definition of "cross-platform language" is "a language in which it is not even possible to do something platform-specific", and that would be silly. I've written dozens of cross-platform C programs. You only have to try.
INSTANT REVIEW: HARBL
i'm in ur message boardz strokin it
INSTANT REVIEW: >>161
2004 called, they want their meme back.
INSTANT REVIEW: C CODE
#INCLUDE yourhotsister.fap
INSTANT REVIEW: FAIL
>>163
INSTANT REVIEW: Regular Expressions
Just because you can do stuff like ((((\p{L}\p{N})*((\.\p{L}\p{N})*)?):)?(\p{L}\p{N}((\.\p{L}\p{N})*)?)) doesn't mean you should.
INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
We're still trying to figure out how to make it useful, but it'll be really expressive and powerful once we do.
INSTANT REVIEW: Common Lisp
The *nix of languages: full of cruft, inertia, and too many implementations.
INSTANT REVIEW: JavaScript 2.0
Perl 6.
Try and guess how many posts I have made in this thread.
i think i've posted as !WAHa.06x36 at least once in this thread... i thought everyone knew his tripcode...
a review from someone who's in the middle of learning...
Instant Review: ASM
huh...?
>>172
more like "huh...? which ASM?"
i'm guessing x86, in which case my comment would be more like "OH GOD MAKE THE PAIN STOP" and also "why would anyone learn this"
>>173
actually, that last question applies equally no matter which ASM you're talking about.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby2
And you thought Perl6 was taking a long time...
INSTANT REVIEW: WINDOWS DDK
When you think programming is easy
INSTANT REVIEW: MACHINE CODE
Put that in Pascal's pipe and smoke it.
>>171
we don't, please tell us :3
INSTANT REVIEW: brainfuck
Any language that looks like ebay comment feedback is GREAT+++++++++++++
>>178
write a tripcode cracker and crack it yourself. that's what i did.
it only took me about half an hour to crack this tripcode...
09013251697
E8IW-QI8E.Ru-chan.E8IW-QI8E@softbank.ne.jp
#hR6k
INSTANT REVIEW: Ragel
Despite being a language for writing parsers, I am only going to provide text parsing and not any built-in way of reading numbers, and code callbacks will only get pointers to the end of a token instead of the beginning.
(It's actually quite nice though. http://www.zedshaw.com/tips/ragel_state_charts.html)