INSTANT REVIEWS of programming languages (296)

1 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:33 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: C

You can complain all you want, it's not going anywhere anytime soon.

101 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 17:15 ID:RZNxnYSP

INSTANT REVIEW: C#
Modern hindi

102 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 18:53 ID:Heaven

I can't decide if >>101 is some totally hilarious joke I don't get, or just plain nonsense. Most mysterious!

103 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 23:18 ID:Heaven

>>102
Maybe >>101 is alluding to some apparently large number of .NET development that is outsourced to India. ("Kids in India these days speak C# rather than Hindi" or some such.)

104 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-01 14:20 ID:RZNxnYSP

>>103
That was kind of my idea, but it seems that I somewhat failed :(

105 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-04 10:22 ID:tFsKfKu2

INSTANT REVIEW : SCHEME

i'm glad KATE has 7 different colours for parentheses, the code looks just like rainbow afterwards

106 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-04 11:40 ID:Heaven

>>105
never seen scheme source or used kate, but I lol'd anyway

107 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-09 20:59 ID:dZkvOJ4k

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
At least it's not C shells.

108 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-25 14:25 ID:Uble2l1r

Instant Review: tcl
A great way to protect your IRC chan from takeover

109 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-25 16:43 ID:TLag+LIM

INSTANT REVIEW: mIRC script
Perhaps the only "language" designed specifically to code trojans and virii.

110 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-26 20:21 ID:+CaYz4NM

INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
Singly-linked lists are the best data type EVER!

111 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-26 21:39 ID:Heaven

>>110
In all fairness, you could describe Lisp the same way.

112 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-27 02:36 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
Just like that other language.

113 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-06 11:12 ID:fOE2L+Wy

INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
See >>105

114 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-15 13:00 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEW
Stack Overflow

115 Name: edsger : 2006-06-21 16:21 ID:jv578MG5

INSTANT REVIEW: C
C = (BCPL--)++

116 Name: edsger : 2006-06-21 16:29 ID:jv578MG5

INSTANT REVIEW Visual BASIC; Star BASIC
Object oriented PASCAL with added DIM statements and SUBs for that kitsch Olde Worlde feeling

117 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 08:25 ID:aHiB+f4E

Instant review: Python
clean and nice

Instant review: Ruby
Kawaii desu ne

Instant review: Java
Enterprise-grade, industry-standard, scalable language to meet business needs, maximize profits and convert visitors into customers

Instant review: Perl
The goggles, they do nothing!

118 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 08:25 ID:aHiB+f4E

>>117
Oh, boardmarkup messed with my Python review. clean and nice were between two underscores on each side each.

119 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 21:04 ID:Heaven

Wakabamark strikes again!

120 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-29 04:36 ID:Heaven

>>119
Who the hell is Wakabamark? (I know, I know... lurk more... but you can't expect me to know the names of everyone here.)

121 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-29 09:08 ID:T+d3rv+X

>>120
http://4-ch.net/wiki/markup

122 Name: !TgfOVovqoo : 2006-08-30 23:20 ID:cj2LDwZT

Instant review: Perl
Write only.

Instant review: Python
Easy to write concepts.

123 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 00:06 ID:Heaven

"Easy to write concepts"? What the hell does that even MEAN?

124 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 00:16 ID:TLag+LIM

That it's good for prototyping but little else?

125 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 23:11 ID:DPw5ajaq

A different view of Java, based on the rather disturbing fine print in the licensing agreements:

Don't use this code for realtime control, for weapons systems, or for
anything else that may put life or limb at hazard. It isn't man-rated,
it isn't really thing-rated, and we don't claim that it's worth a good
G*dDamn for anything at all, at all.

          -- Mike Andrews, on Java

126 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-01 18:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: PHP

for(;;)if(pcntl_fork())posix_kill(posix_getpid(),11);

127 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-01 21:10 ID:Heaven

>>126

>>93

128 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-08 20:19 ID:ID07H8UQ

Instant review: AutoIt
Brave little toaster

129 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-21 22:10 ID:MLPWiCNo

INSTANT REVIEW: FVWM Script

Hey, at least it makes me cool on the Gentoo forums.

130 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-24 11:41 ID:Te/fUAkP

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C

Oh Yeah, now we're talking! =)

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C 2.0

Bring on the goodness! =D

131 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-24 15:40 ID:/jW1zPYT

>>130

More like Smalltalking, am I rite?

Also your review needs some funny.

132 Name: Coo : 2006-09-25 06:14 ID:W1FRwwty

wanna try and make a os?
because if ya want to e mail me to computervirusdocter@yahoo.co.jp
ok

133 Name: Coo : 2006-09-25 06:14 ID:W1FRwwty

come
onn

134 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-25 08:54 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>131

Yeah, see >>76 =D

There was a priest, a rabbi and a monk...

135 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-25 17:56 ID:Nl5L26z8

INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN

Great if you want to make a super computer.

136 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 07:01 ID:NlnfM89W

INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN/COBOL

1960 just called, it wants its code back.

137 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 12:27 ID:HykwNBzd

INSTANT REVIEW: C

'We stopped when we got a clean compile on the following syntax:
for(;P("\n"),R--;P("|"))for(e=C;e--;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("|"+(*u/4)%2);'

138 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 23:00 ID:syKxshv2

>>137 ("_"+(*u++/8)%2)
Is dat some addition of strings??

139 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 02:20 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>138
It will return either '_' or '`' as a char, or as a char cast to whatever the prototype of P accepts.
The value from '(*u++/8)%2' is either a 0 or 1, cos it is the remainder of dividing '*u++/8' by 2.
This is then added to the char value of '_'.

As to what the point of it is, I have not a clue! I would like to know what P does, if it is meant to do anything at all...

Hope this helps! (and is correct...)

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl

Now, which of the 300 hundred ways of parsing a string should I use...

140 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 05:26 ID:O/24EciQ

>>139
"" is a string, not character, literal. That expression adds 0 or 1 to the address of the string, producing (the address of) either "" or "".

141 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 05:30 ID:Heaven

Damn it. Preview post and I both fail.

142 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-09-27 05:44 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: D

This is what happens if you use C++ too long.

143 Name: 137 : 2006-09-27 21:57 ID:lCRvEJt4

>>139
>>140
Actually, I don't have a freakin clue what this does. I ripped it from the GNU humour pages: http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/unix-hoax.html

INSTANT REVIEW: 8052 ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE
200 lines of code, just for displaying "Hello World" on a LCD.

144 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 23:41 ID:8BGjPnfx

Google uses python.

145 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-28 00:48 ID:Heaven

Google, however, does not use >>144.

146 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-28 09:59 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>143
Nice :)

INSTANT REVIEW: HTML
Newbie: Yeah, I can only program in HTML...
Me: 0_o' ... go home.

147 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-01 22:03 ID:Heaven

wow >>146 you must have a big e-penis to be able to call other people newbies

148 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 05:59 ID:NlnfM89W

INSTANT REVIEW: Genetic code (DNA)
Not a real programming language, so obviously it's ultimately useless and for noobs only.

149 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 08:23 ID:Heaven

>>148 hah

150 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 10:08 ID:ebedZw17

>>148
INSTANT REVIEW: Genetic code (DNA)
God: Sup guys?
Darwin: 0_o' ... go home.

151 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 14:07 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>147
Just refering to someone who is not familiar of the differences between programming languages, scripting languages and markup languages.

>>150
God: 0_o' ... depart from me, I never knew you.

152 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 22:12 ID:Heaven

>>151

Oh yes, that is indeed a mortal sin, worthy of eternal contempt and mockery.

Christ, man, get over yourself.

153 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-02 23:38 ID:Heaven

>>151
so people who are new to coding don't know what they're talking about? phwoar, who woulda thunk! thank you for your instant review; it was an educational experience.

next time more funny though, please.

154 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-10-03 00:26 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEWS of programming languages thread @ 4-ch

ITT we post INSTANT REVIEWS (with more funnay)

155 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-03 14:16 ID:6cv9XDiL

INSTANT REVIEW: WakabaMark
__*Bold and italic*__
**_Bold and italic_**
___God dammit___
** * EAT FLAMING DEATH! * **

>>154
There, the funniest thing I could think of. And by the way, how DO you make something bold and italic in WakabaMark? Because, I really don't know... ^_^;;

156 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-04 06:28 ID:Heaven

>>155
<b><i>like this?</b></i>
actually, you don't. you don't make text <b>bold</b> or <i>italicized</i> with wakabamark, you make it <em>emphasized</em> or <strong>strongly emphasized</strong>. combining emphasis and strong emphasis doesn't really make sense. if you want to make things bold and italicized, use html instead of wakabamark.

157 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-04 06:31 ID:Heaven

oops, i meant to use html

158 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-04 21:24 ID:XwP4lusB

Instant Review: .NET
cross-platform shmosh-platform

159 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-05 14:51 ID:F33LqDXu

INSTANT REVIEW: C

Remember back when they said C was a cross-platform language?

INSTANT REVIEW: Java

Remember back when they said Java was a cross-platform language?

160 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-08 04:14 ID:Heaven

C is a cross-platform language, dammit, unless your definition of "cross-platform language" is "a language in which it is not even possible to do something platform-specific", and that would be silly. I've written dozens of cross-platform C programs. You only have to try.

161 Name: !SrB.HArbLo : 2006-10-09 09:49 ID:aGMM1NdF

INSTANT REVIEW: HARBL

i'm in ur message boardz strokin it

162 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-09 12:31 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: >>161
2004 called, they want their meme back.

163 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-16 00:09 ID:iV+VxpwY

INSTANT REVIEW: C CODE
#INCLUDE yourhotsister.fap

164 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-16 09:19 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: FAIL
>>163

165 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-19 05:55 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Regular Expressions
Just because you can do stuff like ((((\p{L}\p{N})*((\.\p{L}\p{N})*)?):)?(\p{L}\p{N}((\.\p{L}\p{N})*)?)) doesn't mean you should.

166 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-20 20:53 ID:tdNRWfN+

INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell

We're still trying to figure out how to make it useful, but it'll be really expressive and powerful once we do.

167 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-10-24 17:56 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: !WAHa.06x36

He likes to pass himself off as an anonymous bbs enthusiast, but really still uses a tripcode as seen in >>1

168 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-11-06 00:33 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Common Lisp

The *nix of languages: full of cruft, inertia, and too many implementations.

169 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-08 19:55 ID:fVto3oD1

INSTANT REVIEW: JavaScript 2.0

Perl 6.

170 Name: !WAHa.06x36 : 2006-11-08 21:25 ID:Heaven

>>167

Try and guess how many posts I have made in this thread.

171 Name: not dag ågren!WAHa.06x36 : 2006-11-09 18:51 ID:Heaven

i think i've posted as !WAHa.06x36 at least once in this thread... i thought everyone knew his tripcode...

172 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-09 22:08 ID:Vn9wp4is

a review from someone who's in the middle of learning...

Instant Review: ASM

huh...?

173 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-09 22:48 ID:Heaven

>>172
more like "huh...? which ASM?"

i'm guessing x86, in which case my comment would be more like "OH GOD MAKE THE PAIN STOP" and also "why would anyone learn this"

174 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-10 01:26 ID:JuQczCtB

>>173
actually, that last question applies equally no matter which ASM you're talking about.

175 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-11-10 05:26 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby2

And you thought Perl6 was taking a long time...

176 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-10 06:50 ID:Zqxrhi1V

INSTANT REVIEW: WINDOWS DDK

When you think programming is easy

177 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-10 06:52 ID:Zqxrhi1V

INSTANT REVIEW: MACHINE CODE

Put that in Pascal's pipe and smoke it.

178 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-11-19 20:25 ID:Heaven

>>171
we don't, please tell us :3

179 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-14 04:35 ID:ugE4JKvk

INSTANT REVIEW: brainfuck
Any language that looks like ebay comment feedback is GREAT+++++++++++++

180 Name: not dag ågren!WAHa.06x36 : 2007-01-14 05:08 ID:Heaven

>>178
write a tripcode cracker and crack it yourself. that's what i did.
it only took me about half an hour to crack this tripcode...

181 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-14 17:32 ID:7kGCLyAg

09013251697
E8IW-QI8E.Ru-chan.E8IW-QI8E@softbank.ne.jp

182 Name: !WAHa.06x36 : 2007-01-14 22:25 ID:Heaven

#hR6k

183 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-21 02:19 ID:5NRPEZwb

>>173-174
ASM more like Spasm

184 Name: Mr VacBob!JqK7T7zan. : 2007-01-23 02:41 ID:3kxjsr+0

INSTANT REVIEW: Ragel

Despite being a language for writing parsers, I am only going to provide text parsing and not any built-in way of reading numbers, and code callbacks will only get pointers to the end of a token instead of the beginning.

185 Name: Mr VacBob!JqK7T7zan. : 2007-01-24 00:47 ID:Yj6TVa7z

(It's actually quite nice though. http://www.zedshaw.com/tips/ragel_state_charts.html)

186 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-25 05:20 ID:yoRGtsDq

INSTANT REVIEW: Java and PHP

Fail and AIDS.

187 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-25 05:42 ID:Heaven

>>186

Thank you for your most wonderful and constructive addition to this THREAD. You humble >>1-185 and remind them about why they can't post just like YOU.

Idiot.

188 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-26 04:01 ID:yoRGtsDq

class Yhbt {
public static void main (String[] args) {

    System.out.println("Thank you for your most humble critique of my most serious post, whose purpose was only to attempt to contribute constructively to this thread");

}
}

189 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-28 00:29 ID:eKV1bKEi

INSTANT REVIEW: Smalltalk
Yay programming:Everything using:Messages is:Fun.

190 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-28 04:10 ID:yoRGtsDq

INSTANT REVIEW: SQL

Official lanaguage of the universe.

191 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-28 12:48 ID:eKV1bKEi

The embedded list!
------------------

INSTANT REVIEW: x86 assembly
It's fun when you're programming your shiny new 3GHz $500 processor with an instruction set that was antiquated 20 years ago, and realize it's gonna be around for another 20 years.

INSTANT REVIEW: MIPS assembly
It's fun when you're programming your four year old 1GHz $5,000 processor with one of the cleanest instruction sets around, and realize that nobody makes MIPS systems anymore.

INSTANT REVIEW: ARM assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 1GHz $5 processor with one of the simplest instruction sets around, and realize you're targeting a mobile phone.

INSTANT REVIEW: PowerPC assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 3GHz $50 processor with one of the most popular RISC instruction sets around, and realize that Apple abandoned you and the latest PowerPC processors are more crippled than netburst.

INSTANT REVIEW: PIC assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 40MHz $0.50 processor with one of the most basic instruction sets around, and realize that you're writing code for a remote control!

INSTANT REVIEW: C166 assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 40MHz $50.00 processor with one of the most funky instruction sets around, and realize that if you make a mistake somebody is probably going to die.
(note: C166s are used in a lot of car management computers, airplane instruments, etc)

INSTANT REVIEW: VU assembly
It's fun when you're programming your six year old 297MHz processor with one of the coolest instruction sets around, and realize you've just spent twenty hours solid optimizing a loop for a game that's just been canceled.

INSTANT REVIEW: C
It's fun when you realize that you can do something easier and more efficiently in assembly, but your manager requires it to be "portable".

192 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-01-29 05:02 ID:/jW1zPYT

INSTANT REVIEW: Python and Ruby at the same time, presented entirely as a quote from some web forum:

"0 is true?!? This sensation in my head must be what those Python-haters feel when they unfairly dismiss a language with meaningful whitespace."

193 Name: Mike : 2007-01-30 04:44 ID:IUtWi4Az

are there any reviews on Visual Basic ^^;

194 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-01 14:56 ID:F33LqDXu

INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic

No.

195 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2007-02-01 18:28 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic

Did you mean: delphi?

196 Name: Nanoviper : 2007-02-02 22:51 ID:FmOmdMOq

C++ is teh pwn lols

197 Name: Mike : 2007-02-03 05:37 ID:IUtWi4Az

nope visual basic is an actual programming language. it was made by microsoft.

198 Name: Mike : 2007-02-03 05:38 ID:IUtWi4Az

>>195

you might be right I am still new to programming.

199 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-03 08:28 ID:NlnfM89W

INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic

HyperCard for professionals.

200 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2007-02-03 14:43 ID:iXdB98qu

>>195 win... even though nobody else seems to have got the joke :)

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