INSTANT REVIEWS of programming languages (296)

1 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/01/04(Tue)01:33 ID:XYxTySqa [Del]

INSTANT REVIEW: C

You can complain all you want, it's not going anywhere anytime soon.

47 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-12 09:13 ID:9OUUTOFJ

INSTANT REVIEW: TECO

[1 J^P$L$$
J <.-Z; .,(S,$ -D .)FX1 @F^B $K :L I $ G1 L>$$

48 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-12 11:59 ID:sUrnyq+X

INSTANT REVIEW: Whitespace

49 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-13 18:53 ID:ZN0y455B

>>46

INSTANT REVIEW: COMMENTS
# ah, i remember.

50 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-16 05:07 ID:qJTXntBK

INSTANT REVIEW: Java

Sucks

51 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-05-18 00:51 ID:EqHbN6co

>>50 is DQN

INSTANT REVIEW: VBScript

Some bright spark thought it would be cool to make VB's Very Bad syntax scriptable in a browser . sigh

52 Name: American 2005-05-26 21:56 ID:pi462IV/

ASP

SQL MArkup Language

53 Post deleted by moderator.

54 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-07-12 10:52 ID:4n632Blu

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
Swiss Army Ballerina

55 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 2005-07-13 05:34 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: OCaml
(you (can (look (make it)(like lisp)) too));;

56 Name: Stephen Thorne 2005-07-15 03:11 ID:Heaven

>>40 valid email addresses include "<>" and "justaname", they don't have @'s.

57 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-07-15 19:01 ID:T4NambXk

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
Things are automatically better if they're Japanese.

58 Name: Ichigo Pie!5ouPkmz/WI 2005-07-20 17:01 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Clean
When will... the hurting... stop

59 Name: rickyok 2005-08-06 17:07 ID:o8BNf7Hb

INSTAN REVIEW : PHP
<? for( ; ; ) ?> <?= "THis is PhP" ?>

60 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-06 17:32 ID:Heaven

>>59
shrug No worse than perl. And that example is too mundane. That's useless for the sake of it.

61 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 2005-08-07 02:23 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Humourless Dunce

plz read >>60 4 info

62 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-22 00:40 ID:AVfAGgig

INSTANT REVIEW: Java

InstantReview no62 = (new InstantReviewCreator(InstantReviewFactory.get())).newInstantReview()

63 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-22 00:42 ID:AVfAGgig

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl

"#()%$/#"()=%/=")(/#%"$%?=)"#)$?=)"#?=¿!"($)="%?=$(%?(

64 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-22 08:05 ID:In8r3SqM

>>63
lol

65 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-08-22 17:28 ID:Heaven

>>59,62,63 are missing the point. This is not the write-one-line-of-made-up-code thread, it's the Instant Review thread.

66 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-23 04:53 ID:Heaven

>>62
no no no! You must follow established best practises down to the letter, everything else is wrong!

InstantReview no62 = InstantReviewBuilderFactory.getInstance().newInstantReviewBuilder().newInstantReview();
no62.setInstantReview("Just do what it says, don't think about it.");

67 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-26 14:55 ID:AVfAGgig

>>65
Ok then

INSTANT REVIEW: Java
Manager shit.

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
Star Trek for programmers.

68 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-08-26 16:20 ID:ZL7/zNnI

> INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
> Star Trek for programmers.

Now THAT'S more like it!

69 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-28 06:00 ID:QJyaD3TV

INSTANT REVIEW: Dylan
LISP pretending to be C (and object-oriented.)

70 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-30 08:24 ID:4Hl8nOw0

INSTANT REVIEW: .NET
= Same as Java - Platform Independence

71 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-31 18:56 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: C# (sharrrp)
So that VB programmers can feel like real programmers. Also see >>67 >Java

72 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-08-31 18:57 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: VB
GWBASIC without line numbers

73 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-01 03:32 ID:8rb01OsE

INSTANT REVIEW: ObjectPAL
VBA with weirder syntax, basic regexp support, and more fatal crashes.

74 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-03 06:25 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: C++
C--

75 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-03 08:46 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: bash
you need me nomatter what the review!

76 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-05 21:00 ID:Y6AjK5dR

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C
Smalltalk and C are great! Let's program in both of them at the same time!

77 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-09-05 21:44 ID:ZL7/zNnI

>>76 made me laugh.

78 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-24 19:55 ID:9Ax/PGLq

Perl:
perl -e 'print map {(split(//))[0]} (q study abs, q chomp getc, q die bind, q lstat eval, q g u fag, q die bind, q lstat eval, q y u r gay, q wantarray qw, q y 4chan is gay, q crypt ungetc, q next warn, q eval time, q die bind, q keys break, q qw uniq)'

79 Name: !WAHa.06x36 2005-09-25 14:47 ID:Heaven

>>78 didn't read >>65.

80 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-09-25 16:10 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Ada
Lets blow up the world!

81 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-13 05:53 ID:WU9tFWjt

INSTANT REVIEW: Java
NullPointerException

82 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-13 07:09 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: >>81
GA

83 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-13 07:24 ID:oi5Faqs1

INSTANT REVIEW: Assembly Language
Kill yourself in 1001 easy steps.

84 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-14 07:03 ID:Nk1QN56t

INSTANT REVIEW: MATLAB
Vector math and DSP FTW!

85 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-23 17:27 ID:FSEs0iV8

INSTANT REVIEW: Applescript

Tell every reader of the post "Applescript" of the thread "Instant Reviews" of the board "Programming" of the site "4-ch" of the Internet : Making programming easy for morons makes it hard for programmers. End tell.

86 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-11-23 20:07 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby

The bastard child of Smalltalk and Perl.

87 Name: #!usr/bin/anon 2005-12-03 02:23 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: VHDL
For something that depends on bit and bit_vector so much, it sure hates literal bit strings.

88 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E 2005-12-16 08:07 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Python

def __Too__ Many(self, Ugly):
    """Symbols"""

89 Name: #!/usr/bin/anon 2006-01-22 08:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Brainfuck

>+++++++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++[<++++>-]<+.+++++++..+++.[-]>++++++++[<++++>-]

<.#>+++++++++++[<+++++>-]<.>++++++++[<+++>-]<.+++.------.--------.[-]>++++++++[
<++++>-]<+.[-]++++++++++.

90 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 12:00 ID:mHEFa4d3

INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
contents = "Enlightenment and headaches" ++ drop 13 contents

91 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 12:54 ID:Heaven

ITT we write in English as she is spoke.

92 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 21:44 ID:O3BtjTiC

INSTANT REVIEW: VB.NET

If YouAre.FuckingMoron = True Then

 Kick.Self("InAss")

ElseIf

 Invest.Stocks("Google")

EndIf

93 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 23:14 ID:Heaven

These are supposed to be instant reviews, not instant lame code samples.

94 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-25 23:16 ID:Heaven

btw, >>ElseIf

gg.

95 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-26 02:48 ID:Heaven

>>93
Those are reviews. Don't hate just because you can't be as witty as other people.

96 Name: !WAHa.06x36 : 2006-03-26 17:27 ID:/jW1zPYT

>>95

No, >>93 got it. This is not the "oh-so-clever pseudocode describes what the language" thread, this is the INSTANT REVIEW thread. Reviews are written in English. There's really not much that is witty about writing pseudocode. See >>65, and also see >>1-10,14,16,19-22,28-29,31,34-37,45-46,57,67 and so on.

97 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-26 20:14 ID:Heaven

>>96

98 Name: 92 : 2006-03-27 04:15 ID:O3BtjTiC

Fucking prudes.

99 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-27 11:43 ID:j8pECNl8

Why do people who don't get the jist of threads like this have to go and shit on them :(

100 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-27 12:34 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: >>95
idiot

101 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 17:15 ID:RZNxnYSP

INSTANT REVIEW: C#
Modern hindi

102 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 18:53 ID:Heaven

I can't decide if >>101 is some totally hilarious joke I don't get, or just plain nonsense. Most mysterious!

103 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-03-31 23:18 ID:Heaven

>>102
Maybe >>101 is alluding to some apparently large number of .NET development that is outsourced to India. ("Kids in India these days speak C# rather than Hindi" or some such.)

104 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-01 14:20 ID:RZNxnYSP

>>103
That was kind of my idea, but it seems that I somewhat failed :(

105 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-04 10:22 ID:tFsKfKu2

INSTANT REVIEW : SCHEME

i'm glad KATE has 7 different colours for parentheses, the code looks just like rainbow afterwards

106 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-04 11:40 ID:Heaven

>>105
never seen scheme source or used kate, but I lol'd anyway

107 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-04-09 20:59 ID:dZkvOJ4k

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl
At least it's not C shells.

108 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-25 14:25 ID:Uble2l1r

Instant Review: tcl
A great way to protect your IRC chan from takeover

109 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-25 16:43 ID:TLag+LIM

INSTANT REVIEW: mIRC script
Perhaps the only "language" designed specifically to code trojans and virii.

110 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-26 20:21 ID:+CaYz4NM

INSTANT REVIEW: Haskell
Singly-linked lists are the best data type EVER!

111 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-26 21:39 ID:Heaven

>>110
In all fairness, you could describe Lisp the same way.

112 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-05-27 02:36 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
Just like that other language.

113 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-06 11:12 ID:fOE2L+Wy

INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
See >>105

114 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-15 13:00 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEW
Stack Overflow

115 Name: edsger : 2006-06-21 16:21 ID:jv578MG5

INSTANT REVIEW: C
C = (BCPL--)++

116 Name: edsger : 2006-06-21 16:29 ID:jv578MG5

INSTANT REVIEW Visual BASIC; Star BASIC
Object oriented PASCAL with added DIM statements and SUBs for that kitsch Olde Worlde feeling

117 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 08:25 ID:aHiB+f4E

Instant review: Python
clean and nice

Instant review: Ruby
Kawaii desu ne

Instant review: Java
Enterprise-grade, industry-standard, scalable language to meet business needs, maximize profits and convert visitors into customers

Instant review: Perl
The goggles, they do nothing!

118 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 08:25 ID:aHiB+f4E

>>117
Oh, boardmarkup messed with my Python review. clean and nice were between two underscores on each side each.

119 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-28 21:04 ID:Heaven

Wakabamark strikes again!

120 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-29 04:36 ID:Heaven

>>119
Who the hell is Wakabamark? (I know, I know... lurk more... but you can't expect me to know the names of everyone here.)

121 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-06-29 09:08 ID:T+d3rv+X

>>120
http://4-ch.net/wiki/markup

122 Name: !TgfOVovqoo : 2006-08-30 23:20 ID:cj2LDwZT

Instant review: Perl
Write only.

Instant review: Python
Easy to write concepts.

123 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 00:06 ID:Heaven

"Easy to write concepts"? What the hell does that even MEAN?

124 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 00:16 ID:TLag+LIM

That it's good for prototyping but little else?

125 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-08-31 23:11 ID:DPw5ajaq

A different view of Java, based on the rather disturbing fine print in the licensing agreements:

Don't use this code for realtime control, for weapons systems, or for
anything else that may put life or limb at hazard. It isn't man-rated,
it isn't really thing-rated, and we don't claim that it's worth a good
G*dDamn for anything at all, at all.

          -- Mike Andrews, on Java

126 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-01 18:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: PHP

for(;;)if(pcntl_fork())posix_kill(posix_getpid(),11);

127 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-01 21:10 ID:Heaven

>>126

>>93

128 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-08 20:19 ID:ID07H8UQ

Instant review: AutoIt
Brave little toaster

129 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-21 22:10 ID:MLPWiCNo

INSTANT REVIEW: FVWM Script

Hey, at least it makes me cool on the Gentoo forums.

130 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-24 11:41 ID:Te/fUAkP

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C

Oh Yeah, now we're talking! =)

INSTANT REVIEW: Objective-C 2.0

Bring on the goodness! =D

131 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-24 15:40 ID:/jW1zPYT

>>130

More like Smalltalking, am I rite?

Also your review needs some funny.

132 Name: Coo : 2006-09-25 06:14 ID:W1FRwwty

wanna try and make a os?
because if ya want to e mail me to computervirusdocter@yahoo.co.jp
ok

133 Name: Coo : 2006-09-25 06:14 ID:W1FRwwty

come
onn

134 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-25 08:54 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>131

Yeah, see >>76 =D

There was a priest, a rabbi and a monk...

135 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-25 17:56 ID:Nl5L26z8

INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN

Great if you want to make a super computer.

136 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 07:01 ID:NlnfM89W

INSTANT REVIEW: FORTRAN/COBOL

1960 just called, it wants its code back.

137 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 12:27 ID:HykwNBzd

INSTANT REVIEW: C

'We stopped when we got a clean compile on the following syntax:
for(;P("\n"),R--;P("|"))for(e=C;e--;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("|"+(*u/4)%2);'

138 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-26 23:00 ID:syKxshv2

>>137 ("_"+(*u++/8)%2)
Is dat some addition of strings??

139 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 02:20 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>138
It will return either '_' or '`' as a char, or as a char cast to whatever the prototype of P accepts.
The value from '(*u++/8)%2' is either a 0 or 1, cos it is the remainder of dividing '*u++/8' by 2.
This is then added to the char value of '_'.

As to what the point of it is, I have not a clue! I would like to know what P does, if it is meant to do anything at all...

Hope this helps! (and is correct...)

INSTANT REVIEW: Perl

Now, which of the 300 hundred ways of parsing a string should I use...

140 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 05:26 ID:O/24EciQ

>>139
"" is a string, not character, literal. That expression adds 0 or 1 to the address of the string, producing (the address of) either "" or "".

141 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 05:30 ID:Heaven

Damn it. Preview post and I both fail.

142 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2006-09-27 05:44 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: D

This is what happens if you use C++ too long.

143 Name: 137 : 2006-09-27 21:57 ID:lCRvEJt4

>>139
>>140
Actually, I don't have a freakin clue what this does. I ripped it from the GNU humour pages: http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/unix-hoax.html

INSTANT REVIEW: 8052 ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE
200 lines of code, just for displaying "Hello World" on a LCD.

144 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-27 23:41 ID:8BGjPnfx

Google uses python.

145 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-28 00:48 ID:Heaven

Google, however, does not use >>144.

146 Name: #!/usr/bin/anonymous : 2006-09-28 09:59 ID:Te/fUAkP

>>143
Nice :)

INSTANT REVIEW: HTML
Newbie: Yeah, I can only program in HTML...
Me: 0_o' ... go home.

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