Clonepa or Superman?
>>364
Adolf's wife Eva heroically saves him from the pills by ingesting them herself, but Adolf's attempts to disarm the revolver by discharging all of its ammunition go tragically wrong as he accidentally misses the floor and hits his own temple instead.
>>366
Giant spider vs giant toad (assume they're both roughly the same size)
>>366
The six of us have collectively spent hundreds of posts discussing combat tactics, while they were sitting around picking their noses and masturbating. We'll absolutely demolish them, I'm certain.
>>368
Alpha (Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou) vs Kino (Kino no Tabi) vs Reki (Haibane Renmei) vs Haruko (FLCL), four way motorbike/moped-mounted jousting tournament.
>>370
I choose as my weapon a king penguin with a time bomb in its stomach, set to detonate 30 seconds after the beginning of the fight. I will throw the penguin at the orca and immediately swim away as fast as I can. As the orca is an animal, my hope is that it will not be able to resist the urge to snack on a food that it prefers to humans, which will then explode inside it and fatally wound it. If the penguin serves as an insufficiently time-consuming distraction, though, I acknowledge I may also die due to being caught in the explosion or simply killed by the orca within seconds.
I also considered a net launcher, but I don't think I would be able to kill even an immobilized orca with my bare hands, and if it became a match of attrition I would die of dehydration before the orca dies of starvation.
>>372
Reddit vs. its mods
>>371
Probably Reddit. Therefs only so much crying mods can do when sys.admin can just take away their privileges, especially when investors are involved. The Reddit strike will go down as the dumbest in history, where, despite not receiving compensation for their labor, striking mods havenft even asked for pay. And all for what? So they can use 3rd party apps that let them fap to NSFW content. The real Reddit died with Aaron. RIP.
>>374
You vs Mount Fuji. The great Fujisan is set to erupt! The incompetent Japanese diet have put their faith in you to stop this deadly from blasting away the countryside and dumping ash all over Tokyo. You are empowered to choose the following weapons in your struggle with this deadly volcano
>Iowa class battleship
>B83 thermonuclear gravity bomb
>Tactical Miniature Neko Lolis
>Kamikaze squadron
>A gigantic exploding boxing glove
You have 24 hours
>>374
Well it took 1 Austrian to take out 6 million Jews so I guess 100 ghostbusters would be more than enough.
Some additional context for >>373: https://4-ch.net/current/kareha.pl/1319744527/24-27
None of the offered weapons seem adequate unless the "Tactical Miniature Neko Lolis" are capable of powerful explosions and there are several hundred million of them. Even if they are, 24 hours probably isn't long enough to execute the plan.
>>376
Ever stomped on a bug? Imagine how easy it is with bigger feet, even when the bugs are men.
>>378
An Iowa class battleship vs. 200,000,000 Tactical Miniature Neko Lolis
>>378
Nothing can stop Odysseus' cunning, I'm afraid. He's a man with no land of his own and nowhere to go back to, needless to say you never fight a cornered cat.
>>380
You vs Joe Rogan in an intellectual debate. You can pick the debate topic excluding STEM subjects (please include), but in order to win you must annihilate Joe and make him rage quit. Due to a black out and the stream going down, Joe will not be able to call up his army of minions nor will he be able to physically attack you. A Netflix crew is standing by in case he wants to produce another comedy special to smite you.
>>379
I knew nothing about Joe Rogan until now, so I did a bit of research. I learned:
First I would keep the conversation friendly, and wait until he had a few beers. Then I would start bringing up the fact that marijuana is harmful, and it's such a shame that Joe Rogan likes weed because he could be so much better without it. I would start with "scientific evidence" slowly move into more combative and extreme statements like "only chumps consume marijuana."
When he brings in the Netflix crew, in a major twist I would reveal that I actually love weed and have brought enough to share with everyone. Then I would placate Joe and the crew with copious amounts of Mary J.
>>381
A battle royale with every version of Link from every Zelda game
>>380
For the sake of consistency, I'll assume that every Link has all of the abilities from their game, but otherwise they're equal in terms of number of hearts, stamina, healing items, etc. Many of the Links have some sort of quick travel ability to get around Hyrule. Since the location isn't specified, and might not be Hyrule, I'll ignore this in general. Also, as a disclaimer, I haven't personally played most of these games so there may well be some details I've missed. Now, considering their combat capabilities in chronological order, and not counting remakes or games in the Zelda universe that do not feature Link:
First things first, any Link that can travel back in time (Majora's Mask, Oracle of Ages), into an alternate universe (A Link to the Past) or become an invulnerable 2D object (A Link Between Worlds) will do so, and will wait there for the other Links to fight among themselves. I am assuming here that abilities that change the time of day (e.g. Ocarina of Time, Wind Waker) are just accelerating/deccelerating the local flow of time, not transporting Link himself relative to his surroundings.
The remaining Links who cannot escape will be decimated by Link (The Adventure of Link)'s AoE lightning attack which kills everything onscreen. Link (Breath of the Wild) might be able to use magnesis to discharge the lightning into something metallic nearby, but is unlikely to be able to follow up with anything devastating, given Link (The Adventure of Link)'s ability to reflect most attacks.
Link (Oracle of Ages) has no particularly useful abilities, and Link (A Link Between Worlds) will be easy to pick off as he emerges from the wall, so neither of them have any chance. On returning to the present, Link (Majora's Mask) can use his stone mask to be overlooked by Link (The Adventure of Link) to get the drop on him. Alternatively, Link (A Link to the Past) can use his temporary invulnerability/invisibility to avoid the lightning attack and hit him. Either way they will be the last two standing.
Link (Majora's Mask) could try the stone mask gambit again, or simply take a high powered mask and hope to overwhelm his opponent by force, but unfortunately he has no counter to Link (A Link to the Past)'s ability to simply jump out of the Dark World, use his quake medallion to kill everything on screen, then jump back to the Dark World to refill on magic, until he wins. Link (A Link to the Past) will be the ultimate victor here.
>>384
Yuri vs yaoi
>>383
Yuri is a delicate lily flower, while "yaoi" is sometimes written with the kanji îÇ, literally meaning "arrow-chaser." While chasing arrows is not directly linked to combat prowess, this strongly implies the entity has enough martial aptitude to defeat an ordinary flower.
Yaoi is also the surname of Jun'ichi Yaoi, who is basically the Japanese version of the Ancient Aliens guy. He's 87 years old, but he can probably still stomp out a lily flower.
>>384
Given the high likelihood those posts were made by a single anon, it's perfectly possible that all 385 posters could pin him down and strangle him. Although, 385 people piling on one could create overcrowding and fights over who would be graced with the honor of snapping >>381-383-san's neck. In the commotion, he could escape, perhaps with the help of a body double, and go underground. Maybe he has some MS-13 friends to call for fire support, and our 385 man dokyun army, which is about as disciplined as a bunch of Liberian guerillas, would be mowed down in a hail of gunfire or hacked to death with machetes? Then again, our zeal for killing the most annoying poster in the thread could trigger a powerful otaku fighting spirit which is +35 to melee attack, somewhat evening out the odds.
>>386
A Twitter vs 4chan death match tournament, assuming both sites are at their historic peaks, that would be 2008 era 4chan and 2022 age Twitter. 8 Fighters from a famous Twitter community vs 8 anons from a legendry 4chan board, all weapons are allowed except guns, air support, artillery and explosives larger than a hand grenade. Feel free to structure the tournament as you like. However, the grand finale will be a naked, bare hands, brawl to the death between Jack Dorsey and Moot. Winner takes the BATTLE ROYALE trophy and gets to execute 1,000 users of the enemy site like a lustful daimyo.
>>385
Since you've already decided what the final will look like, I guess the rest of the tournament doesn't really matter. I imagine Moot would fight dirty, but Dorsey is clearly the physically stronger of the two and would probably end him quickly. Regardless of who comes out on top in the fight, however, ultimately everyone wins from 1000 4chan or Twitter users being removed from society.
>>387
Woolly mammoth vs African elephant.
>>386
Depends on the fight location. If it's in Africa, the woolly mammoth would overheat and die. But given that mamoth-san is still frozen in Siberian ice and is therefore a no show, I'm gonna give this one to the African elephant on a technicality.
>>388
Mark Zuckerberg vs Richard Stallman in a televised debate.
>>387
Stallman doesn't exactly ooze charm, but Zuckerberg has negative charisma and is actively hated and distrusted by the majority of people. So long as he doesn't say anything catastrophically alienating (not impossible), Stallman will be the one winning the audience's hearts and minds.
>>388
We all know how a Battle Royale typically ends. Everybody kills each other off until one is left standing and, overwhelmed by depression, they commit seppuku. Ifd say itfs a no contest. Or the lone survivor who becomes an hero technically wins since he killed himself.
>>390
19 Arabs vs the World Trade Center.
Mr. Blobby forces Noo-Noo to the floor and begins searching for an opening, trying with rock hard determination to penetrate Noo-Noo. Unable to find a hole, Mr. Blobby strangles Noo-Noo half to death then returns with a hacksaw and slowly decapitates the Noo-Noo. With the head sawn off, Mr. Blobby begins thrusting inside the tracheae. When the FBI kick down the door and begin pumping Mr. Blobby full of lead. Since Noo-Noo is a US citizen by birth, this would make the contest a draw.
>>395
This is a fight thread not a porno thread. But in a fight I guess it would be the butch lesbian since they are aggressive while twinks are passive sodomites who want to be penetrated. The twink would assume the lesbian is a a male sodomizer homosexual and just bend over. Then shefd go up behind him and snap his neck, ridding humanity of this foul demon.
>>397
The Pope and his Vatican vs 4chanfs lost /lolikon/ board
>>396
It would be nice if we got a >>389-like situation where all the paedophiles kill one another/themselves and nobody is left alive at the end. Unfortunately I think the Pope and his cardinals' old age will limit their combat capabilities and they probably won't put up much of a fight.
>>398
Aragorn vs Legolas vs Gimli, all fighting over the One Ring.
Me vs My mirror self
>>400
Making a post that ignores the thread structure to me suggests a lack of self-reflection. This will allow your mirror self the element of surprise, defeating you.
>>401
According to Wikipedia, sucralose is around 320-1000 times sweeter than sucrose, compared to aspartame's mere 200 times. It also has a longer and more impressive IUPAC name which, going by wizard rules, indicates that it's more powerful.
>>403
Given that web archivists have probably already downloaded the entire Internet Archive a million times over by now, Ifd call a Pyrrhic victory for Hachette. They might win the case, shut IA down, and have Brewster thrown in gitmo, but it wonft stop us all from pirating their books.
>>404
James Sutherland vs Ikari Shinji in a depression contest. Who will be the first to die of starvation and neglect or an hero? Any third parties are not allowed, but delusions and hallucinations of loved ones and traumatic flashbacks are permitted. If any of them decide to become an hero please include suicide method.
James is kinda fucked so Ifm gonna give the win to Shinji. At least that whiny SOB has people who care about him unlike that loner autist James.
>>406
Godzilla vs the entire US military
>>405
The US would declare a War on Kaijuu and pour several hundred billion dollars of taxpayer money into the pockets of military profiteers so they can use it as an excuse to murder impoverished brown children on the other side of the world. Meanwhile, Godzilla would rampage unchecked across the US (the rich would, of course, evacuate to their bunkers so it's only inconsequential poor people whose lives are ruined). Ten years later, the president declares a triumphant end to the War on Kaijuu as they finally achieved their goal of killing Mothra.
>>407
Martin Luther vs Martin Luther King Jr.
>>406
Initially, the two would peacefully engage in lively theological discussion, MLK Jr. thrilled to meet his namesake and hero and Martin Luther intrigued by this strange Moor and his Christlike message of nonviolence. That lasts until the topic of Israel arises and MLK Jr. espouses the fine character of the Jewish race and the virtues of Zionism. Seeing red, Luther attacks the servant of Satan before him and attempts to throttle him, but MLK fights him off easily due to Luther's notoriously poor health throughout his life.
Collapsing to his knees, Luther starts ranting about Jews and their endless perfidy in-between wheezes. MLK Jr. realizes that Luther, if allowed to live, may well inspire another Holocaust among his latter-day followers. With great reluctance, he ends Luther's life as painlessly as possible using the only weapon at hand: a hammer.
>>408
John Wayne vs John Wayne Gacy
Like many young boys looking for employment, Gacy lures John into his home and attempts to ply him with alcohol. In his usual fashion, Gacy introduces the idea of sex to John. However John Wayne, already a pure red blooded American, is incensed at the thought of fallatio with a fat homosexual. gYour not a real man. Your a disappointment to your father.h Those words stop Gacy, he hangs is head in shame. Suddenly, all the sadness and hatred in him surges to the surface and he lunges at the boy. Gacy misses, hefs forgotten that John Wayne is immune to projectiles which always seem to fly around him. Having landed on a vase, Gacy is now mortally wounded and easily subdued by John Wayne.
At first, John thinks the best he can do is end Garyfs miserable life as painlessly as possible with whatever he has available: a large dildo. But realizes Gacyfs skills as a killer could be a useful. He elects to keep Gacy in his basement and feed the killer clown blacks, homosexuals, Indians, and other undesirables hefs picked up off the streets to purify white America of the unwanted.
>>409
George Bush vs a Kangaroo with an AK-47
>>408
I think George Bush would win because a kangaroo would probably or possible shoot himself with the AK because he doesn't know how to use it or maybe jump with it and hurt himself with the bayonet and really just be oblivious to the workings of the gun while George Bush would freak out abotu the kangaroo and be scared and yell and run away then probably use his cell phone to call animal control or something or even Dick Cheney with a shotgun to come take care of it if the kangaroo doesn't kill himself
>>410
Switzerland vs Sweden
>>412
I donft see any way for this fight to pan out unless the either country can uproot themselves and collide into the otherfs land mass or if that earthquake weapon theyfve been talking about on 2chan recently could cause them to collide by shifting tectonic plates. Assuming they can even hit each other, it boils down to intelligent Nords vs moronic Turks in denial, in which case the Finns would have the advantage. Having given up the ways of the steppe centuries ago, the Hungarians lack warrior spirit and would probably freeze to death anyway.
>>414
2channel in 2004 vs Facebook in 2005
>>413
I don't have any numbers for their relative populations at the time, but I feel like 2channel had a tighter knit and more dedicated community, which will hopefully translate into greater military morale. The absence of any language barrier will probably work in their favour too.
>>415
Utena Tenjou vs a marilith.
>>414
I don't see how Utena Tenjou is going to win this given her latent homosexuality and the fact she can only wield one bladed weapon at a time. The Marilith would simply cast a charm spell to seduce the feeble school girl before dispatching her with cutting blow to the neck.
>>416
Wonder Woman vs the Rapeman
>>419
The pothead would be too zonked to actually fight and instead takes young adolf under his wings, hitler grows up to be a stoner and thus gets accepted into art school and lives out the rest of his life pretty normally; however, in hitler's absence himmler becomes the dictator of germany, leading to the takeover of france and its conversion to the SS state of burgundy, the first and only nuclear superpower that threatens the peace of the entire world, this snowballs into a series of events that leads to the collapse of democracy in america, half the world turning communist, hyper-genocide in russia and ultra-balkanization into uninhabitable shithole anarchy states and eventually nuclear apocalypse, in this world, nobody wins.
>>421
a guy hopped up on benadryl vs a guy hopped up on adderall
>>420
The guy hopped up adderall studies quantum physics and electrical engineering in under 5 hours and builds a 15kt thermonuclear bomb. He leaves it outside the Benadryl guyfs house before evacuating the area. Unable to resist the big shiny red button, Benadryl man detonates the device. He would win the contest having technically killed himself. However, the blast triggers a global nuclear war which kills adderall man. Thus the result is a draw.
>>422
Harley Quinn vs teh Rapeman
>>421
Listen, I get where you're going here, but Harley Quinn has superhuman strength and agility and a lot of combat experience, while the Rapeman continues to be just some guy who's used to preying on random defenceless young women. You also shouldn't underestimate how much barely contained rage most women have towards sexually violent men. Most women I know have at some point expressed a sincere desire to murder a rapist (not even their rapist, just a rapist) and I personally know of one who (unsuccessfully, sadly) tried to poison her rapist, and another who permanently disfigured and blinded a rapist with acid (again, not even her rapist, just a rapist).
>>423
100 Roman legionaries vs a T-rex.
>>422
Ifm not sure about this one. Itfs very probable the T-Rex would flee if the Romans mounted any serious attack on it. On the other hand, the Romans might see it as some kind of god and begin offering up sacrifices to the thing. But assuming the Romans do attack it, theyfd probably chase it away.
>>424
An Ottoman janissary vs a Jedi (no force or special abilities allowed)
>>423
Depends very heavily on what counts as "special abilities". Is a lightsabre itself a special ability? Are the backflips Yoda does a special ability? Is their unlikely ability to dodge Stormtrooper bullets a special ability? Assuming the answers to the above are all yes, Janissaries tended to make heavy use of firearms whereas Jedis are more melee focused, which would probably be enough to let the Janissary win. More lenient rulings on the Jedi could easily hand him the victory.
>>425
Your dad vs a mountain lion. He has to actually kill it with his bare hands to win, not just scare it away.
>>428
Due to his jovial nature and grossly overweight figure, Siegmeyer is at a clear disadvantage. The lesser demon is aggressive but not especially poisonous. It being a non-character puts it at an inherent disadvantage, it has no personality, cannot think, no guile. Ifm sure Siegmeyer would come out on top.
>>430
Gekko Kamen/Allah no Shinsha vs the US government
>>428
First, I had no idea who Gekko Kamen and Allah no Shinsha were so I had to do research first. Their two different heroes. Gekko Kamen might be able to hide from Uncle Sam, but hefd get drone whacked eventually. He didnft have a bike in the original series so he wouldnft get far. Allah no Shinsha is equally susceptible to CIA drone strike, but he is the messenger of Allah. Taking him out would incite the wrath of Allah and destroying the US with a disaster of Biblical proportions.
>>431
Da Jews (a fictional all powerful force that manipulate world events and control literally everything) vs NERV
>>429 Antisemitism aside, isn't "a fictional all powerful force that manipulate world events and control literally everything" literally just what SEELE is in NGE? They're in charge of the UN and are using NERV for their own mysterious plans. So "Da Jews" totally have NERV beat in this fight.
>>431 Say Gex vs Gay Sex
>>431
While Gex is an unusually skilled gecko capable of adroitly navigating the Media Dimension and defeating his arch-enemy Rez, I am unsure how the act of saying his name possesses any offensive value whatsoever.
Gay sex is hardly more inherently suited for combat, but if the participants are massive bears, they could conceivably crush the person saying "Gex" in their throes of pleasure.
>>433
A chocobo vs. a moogle
>>432
Since zombies are pretty susceptible to fire, the Necromancer will use the underhanded tactic of bringing the Pyromancerfs dead wife back to face him. Overwhelmed by emotion, the Pyromancer will let his guard down and Necro will stab him in the neck with a pen.
>>434
Cute girl vs the entire incels subreddit
>>434
Do you have any idea how over the top 40k is? The Eldar can summon a physical manifestation of their war god, see thousands of years into the future, have technology so insane the "advanced" Protoss would think it's magic and, despite being a dying race, still massively outnumber the Protoss simply due to the scale of 40k.
This isn't even a fight, it's fly swatting.
>>436
A Titanfall pilot (along with his titan) vs the Team Fortress 2 crew
>>435
The TF2 team have a huge advantage in numbers, versatility, and tactics available to them. None of the titans really have anything up their sleeve that's devastating enough to wipe out the whole team before getting pincered, ambushed, or overwhelmed by numbers.
>>437
Generic mid-level D&D adventuring party (fighter, rogue, cleric, magic user) vs a xenomorph.
>>438
By kea I suppose you mean Manu Kea. Given that this volcano has been dormant for most of human history I doubt it would pose a threat to Russell Crow. Although therefs no way Crow could actually destroy it. This would be a long drawn out contest to see who dies first and Ifm afraid Russel Crow canft out live a mountain.
>>440
Hunter Biden vs a CIA agent armed with a plastic bag sent to silence him
>>439
By the power of crack cocaine, he is gonna banepost in real life and reveal that the he was, in fact, the Big Guy (for you) all along. The spook ends up garroted, not by his flimsy petrochemical weapon of choice, but by Hunter's massive loli-raeping wiener.
>>441
The laziest person you ever met vs. the fattest person you ever met
>>442
The banshee can scream all she likes. I doubt she has the ability to locate a poltergeist. Banshees herald the death of a family member so her only hope is the poltergeist is close with the relative in question and will become suicidally depressed and off himself by drinking holy water or something. A poltergeist can levitate fucking objects like Darth Vader and Steven Spielberg made a film about them. All bansees do is cry. So their like a regular woman.
>>444
Reality vs George Dubya
>>444
The wolf would probably eat the wicked sisters and the witch but when he goes for the snow queen he collapses of gastrointestinal perforation. The snow queen proceeds to shove the remaining pieces of meat down the wolffs throat until he implodes.
>>446
Ted Bundy vs Elliot Rodger in a competition of who can kill the most sorority girls in 30 minutes.
>>445
Ted Bundy was noteworthy for his cunning; he committed his murders over a vast geographic area and using difficult-to-trace methods specifically to prevent law enforcement from tracking him down. However, this will in fact work against him here, in particular his distaste for firearms and apparently even blades.
Powered by sheer incel rage, Elliot Rodger will brazenly stab and gun down dozens of college babes and hapless bystanders while Ted wastes minutes carefully stalking and strangling each girl out of sight of witnesses, then hiding the evidence.
Things may go differently if the referee convinces Ted he will never face consequences for his murders, which may inspire him to finally exercise his 2nd Amendment rights, but even so I think Elliot's experience on the shooting range (and with stabbing three random dudes to death before he started his incel rampage) will give him the edge.
>>447
British football hooligans vs. Canadian hockey rioters
>>446
Canadian hocky fans know how to use sticks and padding. This gives them a +50 armor and greater range. Canadians are observably more intelligent than Britishers, who are also known to be so drunk they can barely walk. The Canadians> would smash their skulls with those sticks and use their bladed shoes to slit throats. It's a no contest.
>>448
Chinese Maoist red guards vs anime student council
>>447
Given their track record I'm going to have to pick the red guards here. They know how to bayonette charge with sticks and they hate all things Japanese.
>>449
Ronald McDonald vs Joe Biden vs Happosai vs the Rapeman in a contest to see how many innocent girls they can molest on the NYC subway system in a 48 hour crime spree.
>>449
All Basques do is sit around all day and smoke cigarettes. That's not enough to stop a league of battle hardened Indo-Europeans with their subject object verb syntax and minimal inflection, all of which allow for rapid communication. Basques are no match with their cumbersome ergative case. But wait! A group of marauding semites from North Africa have entered the fray. Neither Basque nor Indo-European can match the high precision and portability of Andalusian Arabic. While the Basques are mesmerized, the Indo-Europeans are too busy re-issuing orders and staring at each other in abject confusion. As their troops spend precious minutes trying to parse sentences and figure out what their orders mean, they are cut down by semetic steel. The Basques mostly surrender but not without some resistance. Their terrorist campaign fails to leave any impression on the Arabs who are far more skilled at bombings. The WTC is detonated to remind the Basques of their new masters.
>>451
Zombie vs stoner
>>450
A zombie's primary mode of attack is the slowly shuffling undead swarm, which is rendered less than inevitable by his not having appeared in a swarm. This makes him singularly vulnerable to that of the rankest amateur of all lapidators, i.e. those who've participated in at least one Arabian death sentence. The outcome is that the zed cops a big rock to his rotten soft domepiece and expires from splattered brain, leaving the stoner to spark up a fat doob in victory.
>>452
Shakespeare vs. a shaking spearman
>>451
Shakespeare was an actor as well as a playwright, and judging by the violent content of a lot of his plays, there's a good chance he had at least some experience fighting (even if it was only staged). Unfortunately, he's at a distinct disadvantage here, being unarmed and unarmoured up against someone with a weapon. Realistically, the bard is only going to win if he can disarm the spearman. I see two ways forward for him: first, a quick lunge forward past the range of the tip of the spear, then wrestling it from his opponent's hands, or second, staying well out of reach and counting on the spearman throwing his weapon like a javelin and missing. Both are very risky. It's possible the spearman's tremor may make his grip and aim slightly worse, but I'd say the odds are still 70/30 in his favour.
>>453
Wikipe-tan vs ME-tan.
>>452
ME-tan attempts to sit on Wikipe-tan to crush her with the bloat that was her birthright. Unfortunately the passing years have made ME-tan's 2000-era 64 megabyte minimum requirement positively miniscule compared to the heinous bulk of JavaScript with which Wikipe-tan is belarded, so it's like a gnat trying to choke out an elephant. Eventually Wikipe-tan reverses the position and ME-tan bluescreens before tapping out.
>>454
Dickgirl vs. pussyboy
>>457
Due to (@¥ิÖ¥ิ)'s public exhibitionism, (L<_M @) is convinced (@¥ิÖ¥ิ) is really a VIPPER in disguise. His suspicions turn out to be correct.
Taking the initiative, (@¥ิÖ¥ิ) summons the spirit of DADDY COOL. However, due to being incorporeal and physically weak, he doesn't help very much.
>>459
Stephen Wolfram vs. Gerald Sussman
>>459
Darkness hides in the corner and casts shadows where light cannot reach, remaining undefeated in the indefinite term. Light finally succumbs to the cold dark end of all things where all stars have gone out and even the most distant cosmic light has attenuated to naught, but it'll take her billions upon billions of years.
>>461
Salt vs. vinegar
>>461
Sauron was vanquished when his favorite piece of bling fell into a volcano, whereas Cthulhu is often stated to be unkillable and there is no reason to doubt this. The best Sauron can hope for is a stalemate, probably because Cthulhu can't even be bothered to wake up to react to his puny attacks.
>>463
Faggot (bundle of sticks) vs faggot (meatball)