Lame Confessional [LAME] [#2] (489)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7184 22:14

Last night I stayed with my girlfriend at her parents' house, and I dreamt that I was having sex with someone, and I could push a button and my sexual partner changed through different people, and I flicked through until it was a fat old granny, and I was pumping away then I woke up and realised I'd ejaculated in my girlfriend's parents' guest bed.

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7185 04:01

To this day, I don't know what the cc and bcc things in email do. And I've never bothered to look it up.

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7185 10:32

CC means carbon copy, as a relic from when emails were printed on paper by hand and transferred onto carbon paper during the printing process. So it's like being sent the email directly as in the To: field but it's not exactly addressed to you, only being brought to your attention.
BCC means blind carbon copy and I'm pretty sure it's the same thing, but as a recipient, you don't know who else it was sent to.
Neither are that useful as everyone should just have mailing lists.
The More You Know™

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7185 18:28

I just click on Reply All button in Outlook.

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7185 20:04

I occasionally masturbate to SJIS art.

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7185 23:01

These sound less like lame confessions and more like actual ones all the time.

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7186 22:00

>>6 They're all pretty lame though. You DQN crazies are lamewads lol

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7187 05:19

I want to say certain nasty things about various companies in my industry on the Internet but don't want to jeopardize my chances at getting employed.

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7187 08:55

I secretly misplaced my friend's notebook because he was slightly mean.

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7187 16:50

I stole £2 from my 3-year-old nephew to buy an energy drink.

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7189 18:28

I like things more than I let on

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7191 08:55

Every time I see blurred out windows in Top Gear, I stop enjoying it and have to repeat to myself that "it's still fun".

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7198 19:15

I almost lied in response to just to demand something myself, but the opportunity to cheer somebody up or make them think is actually a good idea.

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7219 08:56

I'm scared of embarrassing myself in public.

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7219 23:18

Everything I post here is true.

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7221 20:49

I tell everyone that I'm an avid C++ programmer, when in reality I'm not.

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7221 23:13

Occasionally I go on Google Translate and type in something like "お兄ちゃん大好き" just to click on the listen button and hear it said in the cute Japanese woman's voice.

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7221 23:26

>>16 is that even something one would desire to brag about? That's like bragging about how many fetid pine cones one can hold in one's nostrils.

Anyway I spent all day programming when it's the first time I've seen my family since finals.

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7221 23:33

Swedish translation has a very sexy voice. Use it if you want to pretend that you are innocent little brother!

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7221 23:38

I forgot a </i> in the captcha thread.

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 07:05

I ignored the sign and threw cardboard down the garbage chute.

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7226 04:04

I pee in sinks sometimes.

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7228 20:47

I just masturbated to a video of a woman in her underwear wearing cat ears and crawling around and making hand gestures like a cat.

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7228 21:12

I want to know where to find >>23's video.

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7228 21:52

I was at a family party, for a relative's birthday. Instead of eating and conversing with the guests, I hid in the shed nearby and listened to music.

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7234 00:04

I love playing piano, but I lack the focus to keep practicing for more than 10 minutes at a time, so I never get much better at it.

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7235 23:36

I don't know how adult world works.

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7240 13:51

I asked for help and argued about a technical problem without reading the manual or googling it first.

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7240 18:08

I stayed an extra half-hour at the swimming pool after my time was up.

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7241 04:37

I refilled my coffee cup with soda.

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7245 23:38

If MODD applied fusianasan magic to my posts I would be deeply embarrassed.

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7278 21:32

I become deeply upset when people here post - or even just allude to - Touhou pornography. The Touhou project has been a major part of my life. It has helped me through difficult times, has shaped my life philosophy, and has done far more for me than other people ever have. I view the characters not as friends or acquaintances - we have, after all, never met - but instead almost as a part of me.

Thus, to see them reduced to mere objects to serve your bodily lust is nothing short of a travesty. I am usually reasonably good at empathy, but such an act simply stirs my emotions too much for me to be able to "live and let live" or anything similar. The best I can do is ignore it, and that isn't much of a solution - especially when it is waved in front of my face by fellow posters here.

I hate that I am posting this, because I know that people reading this who have sexualised Touhou may feel unnecessarily guilty for my sake. Well, an open message to anyone reading this: if you care even slightly about my plight, please, I beg of you, don't post anything here related to Touhou pornography, and don't encourage or respond to others who do. I've no doubt there are plenty of other places on the internet far away from the eyes of overly sensitive fools such as myself.

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7284 08:49

I'm disappointed when a jar is easy to open because I can't show off my manly strength.

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7284 12:17

The first time I read SICP I didn't attempt any of the exercises.
Maybe it wouldn't all seem so elementary if I did.

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7285 16:37

I'm gonna go read "Reimu Surrenders and is Destroyed" now.

36 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7285 17:15

Oh God, please provide the video

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7285 19:28

This afternoon my mom asked me to open a jar. It took both of us, using both hands and rubber gloves. what the christ man

Granted, it was a fucking awkward shaped jar she probably wants to use as a vase that doesn't give you anywhere to grab one handed but shit was tight yo.

It probably wouldn't; a common criticism of SICP (less valid now that there are such things as Wikipedia and Google and plenty of solution attempts posted online) is that it asks all sorts of domain-specific questions where you wouldn't know where the goddamn to begin looking them up if you were a frosh, which I secret suspect may have been a ploy to weed out the students that don't have the balls to ask a professor or TA.

Unless your intent is just to say "I've read SICP" then congrats I guess.

38 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7286 14:58

That's not lame.
It's kinda cute and much more socially acceptable than the monstrosities I masturbate to.

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7287 22:08

At 30 years old, I still relate to the lyrics of Linkin Park songs sometimes.

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7288 01:45

My girlfriend does that, usually I find it cute but sometimes the 'nyan' every oter sentence gets on my nerves.

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7289 06:16

A long time ago, I got it into my head somehow that moot was going to shut down 4chan later that day, so I started posting shit to /b/ about Zero Hour Approaching. Unlike my usual posts, Zero Hour gained traction and got out of my control. When Zero Hour came and went with nothing happening, I just posted "Well, shit." and then went to bed.

42 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7289 07:56

Ugh, shit like that made me dump mine. I enjoy the peace of mind ever since.

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7289 11:48

>>41 Was that around 2009 when MGS4 was coming out? moot changed the board heading to "/b/ has changed" and the MGS4 theme played in the background? But since it hadn't came out yet most didn't get the reference and thought 4chan was getting shut down. That was the last time I was on 4chan* but I'd been bored of it for a while and visiting less, and I realised there were plenty more interesting places to discuss things on the Internet

*except yesterday to look at /a/ for the first time ever, just to see what it was like

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7289 16:29

No, this was sometime before 2005.

45 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7289 20:16

Oh, yeah, the I Love Japan thread was calling Japan a dirty slut back then in 4chan's text boards.

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7304 18:39

Everything I know about smoking I learned from Ichigo Mashimaro.

47 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7304 23:40

Sometimes I crave a cigarette even though I never smoke.
I think I posted this somewhere on DQN before too, but I'm going to again anyway.

48 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 10:45

I always want to post in the Ctrl-V thread, but I rarely do, either because I don't have text in my clipboard, or it's something personal that I copied inadvertently during a private chat.

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7307 12:58

A couple of times when I was feeling generally anxious I wanted to smoke too. This is probably because I've seen nervous people smoke. Still, I was able to restrain myself.

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7321 00:26 made me laugh so hard I cried.

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7321 13:47


>What do you call Suigintou when she smoked a lot of weed?
>A JUNKie!

What? That's not what a junkie is...

On topic, in restaurants that have tables where you can help yourself to condiment sachets, I always stuff my pockets with them, even sauces I don't like.

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7322 13:26

Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light, darns you to heck for this.

53 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7322 17:03

I like Dilbert a little too much. Enough to pick up that reference.

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7330 22:37

I'm intensely jealous of that guy who claims to have dreamed about Everybody Loves Clonepa.

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7330 22:41

wwhy shrek is piss

... I have watched that video ._.

56 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7330 22:49

I meant actual Dilbert comic strips which is quite a bit more worthy of a lame confession.

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7330 22:54

They were awful, and yet I laughed at every one of them.

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7333 16:52

I only started watching anime in early 2013

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7333 20:42

So, you became one of those, about whom you used to make "funny" "ironic" jokes?

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7333 21:01

I had a horrible time reading and rereading >>59 despite having no connections with >>57 or his predicament.

61 Name: 58 : 1993-09-7334 00:49

Actually, I'd always thought of anime people as a superior group, higher that game people and programmer people. My beautiful image was quickly ruined though, as I realised that most people who talk about anime online are idiots. It was very sad.

62 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7334 05:06

I wish I could find the Zelda CD-I Youtube Poop where the guy with the key is sentence mixed to say "Move your ass to shit on this gay cock". I have a growing suspicion that it was removed, though.

I think they also removed the Dr. Dreadful one where he says "You can make lots of gross semen that tastes gross, from my penis that tastes great". :(

63 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7334 08:26

I'm a programmer person and most programmer people are also quite stupid. It's subtle, though.

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7334 10:40

I'm a programmed person and beep boop.

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7334 17:04

I used to think I was a superior person, but then I realized I'm actually quite stupid.

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7335 00:42

We've all been teenagers.

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7335 05:54

A friend of mine has the habit of always saving everything he likes online. He has multiple terabytes of videos ripped from YouTube, hundreds of games, a massive music collection, and a bunch of websites including a full mirror of Wikipedia that he keeps up to date - all neatly filed away and catalogued on a network server that's connected to a blazing fast LAN.

I think if the internet ever completely disappears, he could probably restore half of it himself.

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7335 15:44

>>67 does he have a copy of penn humps the ice king?

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7335 20:48

>>67 He could set up a site that hosts videos that get taken down, and help people stitch their favourites back together?

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7337 13:25

I'd like to see a united Sweden-Finland, just for there to be a country whose outline looks like a cock and balls.

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7346 22:25

Whenever I see nonsense words, I have to read them backwards to see if they make any more sense that way.

72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7350 23:17

I made a sincere, corrective wikipedia edit.

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7366 16:52

I hold a lot of grudges; I'm just really bad at maintaining them.

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7366 21:42


It does look like that. Too bad this is no longer a country.

75 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7366 21:43

I just put my hand under my laptop to warm it up.

76 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7367 02:13

For the longest time I thought she was "Rogue the Bat."

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7368 21:56

I'm still in middle school

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7368 21:59

I'm in my final year in middle school

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7369 01:56

>>76 she is kind of a "rogue", so it's understandable.

Related; my confession is that I still like Sonic Adventure 2.

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7374 05:06

I like to search for lesbian incest-themed pictures on pixiv and booru sites, especially mother-daughter. I do this at home on a computer nobody else uses, with the blinds closed.

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7390 20:25

I sometimes post kopipe on /a/

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7397 17:53

A few days ago I tried playing Runescape for the first time in many years. I used to play it an awful lot when I was younger, and came to be really rather good at it. I found that it has changed to an extraordinary extent (not surprising; it's been several years) but I somehow feel like I'm betraying my younger self by not being outraged at these changes. Actually, they were all pretty sensible and the greatest criticism I can give is that they make the game slightly too easy in some ways.

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7397 23:09

I'll continue gaming confessions. Personally, I believe that gaming is not lame but in certain situations it became so. OR well, the confessions themselves in this thread could be just lame like this one, right?

So, anyway, I just finished a good round in BF4 and after initial frustration I must report that the patch made this game a bit less stable but a bit better. Still close quarters encounters feel as if I'm against MLG PROs most of the time which is ridiculous. I could dominate other players easier in BF3, so it must have something to do with the new netcode and my webconnection.

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7399 08:21

My greatest internet legacy remains creating Lame Confessional #1

85 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7400 01:54

i like steering towards shota even though i'm not really into the whole shota thing.

86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7400 12:02

I keep having recurring nightmares where I must repeat second grade.
Like if Billy Madison was a psychological horror flick.

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7413 01:36

I was disappointed when I realized that Adventure Call was just a spoof and not a real game show.

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7413 17:01

I smoked a cigarette once but I always tell people I never have.

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7418 15:24

90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7429 11:55

I had a nightmare that you were all laughing and picking on me because I missed a 2 GET

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7430 00:23

Back when I had a Yahoo e-mail account, I would always flag Yahoo's promotional mailings with the "This is Spam" button.

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7430 03:11

I did the same thing when I had Hotmail.

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7434 01:51

I'm a guy and I think lesbian porn is stupid and boring.

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7434 04:17

I'm a guy and I think faux lesbian porn is for guys afraid that seeing a penis might make them gay, or those that just publicly pretend to like it to affirm their straightness. Lame Confession: I know because I was the latter guy in the past.

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7434 04:46

i read my captcha as wasnt codeine
i just really really want some codeine

96 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7435 18:02

I like making strangers laugh on imageboards.
Here's how it usually goes down:

  1. Lurk until I find an opportunity to make a joke.
  2. Think of a funny reply, and laugh about the idea for five minutes.
  3. Post it, and laugh for another five minutes.
  4. Somone replies to me with a reaction image, then I imagine that person laughing about my post and I laugh for ten minutes.

97 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7436 01:27

I'm a guy and I think yuri is the pinnacle of beauty, and that little other human creation can even come close to competing; a good yuri manga can put me in a good mood all day, and it is one of the greatest tragedies of my life that none of the lesbians I've met in person have been anything like those found in most yuri related media.

On the other hand, I agree that lesbian porn is stupid and boring.

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7445 23:25

I still suck my thumb.

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7446 00:49

I totally bailed on a show with my best/only friend a couple nights ago because panic attacks are no fun. Don't mind me, just gonna go do my agoraphobe thang now.

100 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7446 09:59

I must admit that I like cute things a lot.

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