Lame Confessional [LAME] [#2] (494)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7184 22:14

Last night I stayed with my girlfriend at her parents' house, and I dreamt that I was having sex with someone, and I could push a button and my sexual partner changed through different people, and I flicked through until it was a fat old granny, and I was pumping away then I woke up and realised I'd ejaculated in my girlfriend's parents' guest bed.

258 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7981 14:20

>>257
Yeah, they are the fastest penguins underwater too.

259 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7981 15:00

>>256
I google the ones that I think come from vox day's blog, and most of the time, they do.

260 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7988 10:13

I've seen so many spoofs on "roses are red, violets are blue" that I've forgotten what the original last two lines are.

261 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7988 10:32

I've gotten pretty good at using the can opener on my Swiss army knife because sometimes I take a can of beans into the thicket of trees behind my house and eat them cold while pretending it's a post-apocalyptic setting.

262 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7988 16:01

>>260
There aren't any. It was the original snowclone meme, older than the Internet, going back to the 1940s at least.

263 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7988 17:33

>>260
Wikipedia says the most common usage goes:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.

But like most things passed down through oral tradition, an origin is hard to pin down, let alone find the "original" version. Wikipedia also says it might date as back as the year 1590!
It's amazing to think that such an old thing can still immerse itself inconspicously into nowaday's culture and still look a lot more current than it actually is.

264 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7988 20:43

My screen is so dirty it literally looks like a snowstorm.

265 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7988 20:53

>>264 is it semen?

266 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8003 04:07

I'm kind of glad to have started the Punctual Gomez Testimonial riff, mostly because everyone else picked it up and ran with it.

Feels good.

267 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8003 13:02

I like bumping threads.

268 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8003 18:02

>>249
I just wish someone would make live action porn with the creativity of a Chinese cartoon. Any plot beyond "2+ people having sex in a house" would really help my masturbation sessions.

269 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8003 18:31

>>268
It's time to join the wonderful world of JAV watchers anon.

270 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8003 23:06

>>268
Sometimes old 70s/80s stuff works for that. It's still hit or miss, of course.

>>269
I have many lame confessions.
- I have looked for subbed JAV,
- but I haven't found any,
- so I normally just look at the covers instead.

271 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8005 12:38

When I was a kid, for a year after reading this poem I was terrified of eating a peanut butter sandwich.
http://sandwichesaregood.weebly.com/peanut-butter.html

272 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8006 00:56

>>269
I would, but I don't like the pixels.

273 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8006 03:32

>>270
The covers of JAVs are my favourite part, the actual video is usually pretty bad.

274 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8007 04:33

>>270
The cosplay ones are pretty straightforward if you know the characters.

275 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8012 15:53

People on the train were talking about games they play on their daily commute. I mentioned Fire Emblem, and they were all like "what." Turned out they were talking about Angry Birds and Candy Crush.

I love casuals because they give me a totally undeserved and useless sense that I'm in some kind of elite.

276 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8013 17:34

>>275
Never engage in conversation with strangers about things that sound like things you're into. You will only be disappointed.

277 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8013 22:16

>>261
That's a really good lame confession. I appreciated it.

278 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8021 17:03

Got into a wrestling match with my girlfriend while scrolling through the cable TV menu when I found the last half hour of Old Yeller was on. I said "Awesome! This is the best part!" and selected it, but before I could change the channel, she said "Don't you dare!" and lunged for the remote.

It was a fierce battle and she bit my arm before I pinned her to the couch and changed the channel.

279 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8021 19:34

The work-related stuff I did at work today amounted to sending two emails.

280 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8021 21:38

>>279
I stood up and almost did something today.

281 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8022 14:40

Weeks after first reading >>1, I still have nothing to confess.

282 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8022 19:38

>>280
You're not missing out.

283 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8026 19:16

I don't drink coffee because I'm scared of becoming addicted and caffeine dependent.

284 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8026 20:33

>>283 caffeine isn't really like hard drugs, the "withdrawal" is just your body realizing how tired it actually is.

285 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8029 17:43

I've wanted to start a thread like the "control tower" thread for months but I never actually do it because I'm less knowledgeable than the "GM" of that thread and also I fear I would be cutting into the limited traffic of DQN and would wind up in some sort of competition with the other thread.

286 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8029 18:35

>>285
I tried to continue the other CYOA thread but I was unable to continue because I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't make me embarrassed in hindsight, also I think there wasn't enough interest to continue, so I just made like one post months ago.
All things considered, this is quite the lame confession.

287 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8029 19:28

>>285
>>286
I also want to start a CYOA, but one that will get DQNs to like my fetishes and all agree that they are erotic or at least funny and not annoying to reference nearly constantly in the CYOA subject matter, but I don't because I would have to end up writing about everyone else's weird fetishes instead and pretending that I think they are erotic or at least funny and not annoying to reference nearly constantly.

Also how embarrassing would it be if everyone hated your fetishes and you couldn't ever continue that CYOA thread or make a different one without people thinking you were the OP which you were. It would be terrible to be anonymously scorned.

This is a very useful thread.

288 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8030 18:00

"PINGAS" is still able to crack me up.

289 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8030 18:50

>>288
On a related note, I really like "cuck". Someone on /tv/ described the plot of Back to the Future as "cucking yourself out of existence" and it cracked me up.

290 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8030 21:20

Anime has made me cry, as in full on bawling and tears streaming down my face, exactly twice. Once was when Reuenthal died in Legend of the Galactic Heroes(I get moist-eyed thinking about that scene even now), the other was the Hidamari Sketch Sae/Hiro graduation special, when the younger girls catch up to them after the ceremony and beg them to repeat a year.

291 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8031 01:39

>>285-287
I ran one for a while but decided it wasn't worth the effort.

292 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8031 08:09

I've been wheelchair-bound for my entire life.

293 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8039 00:21

As a young teen looking at the jukebox select screen for the original Rise of the Triad, I used to wonder who Smeg was and what it meant to run like him.

294 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8044 11:24

Even before I understood what a Juggalo was, I thought Faygo soda was funny because the name looks like a combination of gay and fag.

295 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8044 19:28

Is melodrama inevitably pathetic?

296 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8069 01:32

I'm bumping this thread just so that other threads I like less don't stay on the front page for as long.

297 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8069 18:50

>>292
Hi Hotwheels.

298 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8069 21:55

I have scoliosis.

299 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8069 23:47

I have a school bus.

300 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8070 00:37

I am a schoolbus

301 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8070 17:47

I rode the short bus.

302 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8070 19:31

Sometimes I wonder if I should hold back my best stupid ideas (like "Couch Potatolympics") for some kind of Kindle book or just give 'em up to the net and forego all possibility of profit.

Clearly, my impulse is to just throw it out there the moment I think of it, and I'm not really happy with that impulse.

303 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8070 23:06

>>302
We are all going to become filthy rich once the DQN Shirt Novel is done, printed and published. I'm sure of it. It will start a new trend among yound and daring authors. Books studying the DQN Shirt Novel will still be written 200, no, 500 years in the future.

304 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8071 02:58

>>302
I'm glad you share your ideas. Sites like this survive on fresh content. Besides, you're not giving up possibility of profit just because you posted them on the net, you could still publish a book that collects all your ideas.

305 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8071 12:31

>>297
Kill yourself, "kudasai"

306 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8071 13:35

>>305
Hi /jp/

307 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8193 17:42

I was 20 seconds earlier to the building than the cute girl who works on the floor below, and rather than awkwardly/creepily wait for her or make her wait for the elevator to come back, I ran up several flights of stairs instead.

308 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8196 13:21

It's the first day of classes and I'm nervous because I'm not good at TAing. Also, I hate commuting when this college town is full of people.

309 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8205 00:59

CLPPNG gives me goosebumps.

310 Name: (L„tMG) : 1993-09-8258 00:57

I complain that I have no friends, but the second anyone tries to message me I get irritated because I don't feel like talking. Everyday life is very lonely, so I go for walks around where I live (there's a surprising amount of sidewalks, even on highways!) and I hope that someone will talk to me, but no one ever talks to a no-good NEET.

I become afraid that not only am I a monster, but I look like one too. But then I realize even if someone did talk to me, I'd have nothing interesting to talk about, and I'd get way too nervous.

311 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8260 16:46

When I started playing the Final Fantasy X HD remake, one of my main thoughts was that Yuna should have been designed to show way more sideboob. Then I wondered if I should have felt bad about having that thought, then I decided that I had no reason to feel bad about it.

312 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8260 19:00

>>311 quite interesting

313 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8260 21:47

>>312 hey, this is the lame confessional, not comedy night. I'm not here to entertain you, I'm here to get absolution for my lame sins.

314 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8261 07:56

>>313 It was completely sincere, it was an interesting thought that i pondered for a few minutes...

315 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8261 13:18

>>314 in that case, I apologize, and I'm happy that someone else thought about the same thing I did.

316 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8261 15:41

>>311
I bought X-2 because of Rika's outfit.
I got a really fun game out of the deal, but it wasn't that sexy.

317 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8261 17:48

Yeah, X-2 is deceptive in that it looks like it's full of fanservice from the outside, but it's not really so much, especially considering the length of the game. Not even close to something like Ar tonelico or Senran Kagura or something like that.

318 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8308 02:58

Sometimes I'm tempted to post my own comments that I'm particularly proud of from other sites in the [BEYOND DQN] Someone else's comment from some site nobody knows [PASTE] thread. I always end up not doing it because I feel like that would be disingenuous.

319 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8308 07:30

>>32

>to see them reduced to mere objects to serve your bodily lust

That's your problem right there, man. Rather than interpreting sexual depiction of Touhou characters using the (polemically anti-male) concept of sexual objectification, you should interpret depiction of their sexuality as an intergral part of the depiction of their full humanity within the open canon of Touhou fan works.

After all, you do no not seriously headcanon every 2hu as asexual, do you?

320 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8308 10:40

>>319

> After all, you do no not seriously headcanon every 2hu as asexual, do you?

So what if I do? I also imagine them not needing to regularly eat, drink or use the toilet. At the risk of stating the obvious, fictional characters aren't real people, and have no obligation to behave like they are. Don't forget also that most of them aren't even human, and those who are are young enough that it wouldn't be surprising if they weren't interested in sex.

321 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8311 04:19

For years, I have had a recurring fantasy in which I am in Japan and I talk endlessly about random topics.

322 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8312 11:38

Most of the human characters are in like their early twenties. Everyone in the entire series is drinking alcohol constantly and Reimu is occasionally seen smoking a kiseru.

323 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8334 02:21

I ran out of toilet paper and dish soap the other day and instead of overcoming my social anxiety long enough to leave the house and go buy more I just ordered a pizza and asked for extra napkins and for some paper plates.

324 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8336 07:36

>>323
Funny, I'd take going to the self-service at Tesco over interacting with the pizza guy any day.

325 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8394 11:07

I never joined my university's anime society because I was scared of being judged for watching almost exclusively stupid moeblob anime.

326 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8394 18:36

Some people in my dorm were watching anime in the lounge, and in an effort to be friendly I decided to sit in for an episode. It was a pretty awful show to begin with, some maximally-contrived reverse harem where like eleven guys are all trying to get with their one stepsister, but it was also dubbed, and the whole time everyone was gushing over how this was a superstar voice cast and how great it was. I left because my cringe-o-meter was about to break. Like sure, not everything I watch is a pristine magnum opus for humankind, but come on, you're making me look bad.

327 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8476 10:08

So many people seem to admire me for my ability to not give a fuck what other people think. In reality I'm just paralyzed on how to react because it's all I can think about.

328 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8641 14:35

I don't visit here often enough and when I do I just make old jokes that have already died out. also, I necrobump threads

329 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8641 17:32

>>320
But your charge of "muh ujectufukayshin" to anyone who disagrees with your boring headcannon is ridiculous; obviously we are sexual beings, so we in projecting our own humanity onto fictional characters would percieve them to posess sexuality.

330 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8641 19:13

>>329

> "muh ujectufukayshin"

When did I ever say you aren't allowed to sexualise them? I'd just rather people keep that to themselves, and realise that not everyone wants everything to be sexual all the time.

> obviously we are sexual beings

Speak for yourself. I personally find sex rather dull and unpleasant.

331 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8641 19:47

jizz on Reimu's armpits

332 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8642 23:51

>>330

>keep that to themselves

No. I do not wish to display a "public face" on an anonymous board.

>speak for yourself

It was an exclusive "we".

333 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8643 09:09

>>330
Anecdata does not refute a generalisation. "Speak for yourself" as the entirety of your response simultaneously screams both "I'm a special snowflake, look how different I am!" and "Obviously my experience mirrors many others', behold my obnoxious lack of empathy!"

334 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8661 11:12

I really wanted to like Animal Crossing but I just can't get into it (or the sequel.) It's too limited to be a good sandbox but too aimless to be anything else.

335 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8672 10:02

my butt itched but I didn't scratch it and I went to bed with it itchy

336 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8672 19:30

>>335
Was it still itchy when you woke up?

337 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8672 23:39

archived purehoe's first post for future generations (and other textboards) to enjoy and laugh at
great confession, it was pretty lame

338 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8673 07:35

>>330
/polecat kebabs/

339 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8673 14:06

>>333
As the person he was replying to, it was kind of my fault for not specifying.

340 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8674 02:15

>>333
I am nobody in this conversation, but your response seems backwards. If X makes a sweeping generalization, Y refutes it, and X 1) complains and 2) maintains the generalization, it is X, not Y, who is demonstrating an obnoxious lack of empathy and claiming to represent the world.

341 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8674 19:36

>>340
Y performed no such refutation, as stated. "Speak for yourself" is ambiguous in whether it refers to "yourself, and nobody else" or "yourself and anyone else, but definitely not me". Further, if anyone (1) complains and (2) maintains the generalisation, it would appear to be a third party, Z, not X.

342 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8675 07:50

>>341
I'm not convinced that Y hasn't refuted anything. Here's how I'm picturing it: If X spoke and was unchallenged for a while, one could very reasonably believe the statement. But if Y rejects the statement, we now have only X's word and Y's word. There is no reason to assume that either X or Y are more typical elements than the other, so I don't think any wider conclusion can be reached. (That is, of course, in the "general" case, of course. No comment on the specific case that prompted this.)

If a third party Z comes in, then certainly things change. I can't say anything about the probability of such a reply being X vs Z, though. I can imagine X defending the original statement, and I can imagine a bystander speaking up. It is unfortunate side effect of these nameless discussions that determining this is hard.

343 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8707 14:31

When I was a kid, I thought people meant "bamboo chute" because it is a bamboo shoot is in a plausible shape to call it so.

344 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 04:45

Just now I took longer than I normally would have in the office toilet because someone knocked on the door. I stood around with my hands in the stream of water from the tap and enjoyed being the lord of my own little domain.

Then I went out and got a coffee.

345 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8710 09:41

I stood in a stairwell for 20 minutes with my ear pressed against the wall, waiting for a guy to arrive at his office. I then exited the stairwell and pretended to be coincidentally walking by, just so that I could talk with him before he had a chance to open his office door and start making those uninterruptible, hours-long phone calls he always makes.

346 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8715 01:08

Just as I was falling asleep last night, I thought of a great idea for the game I'm making. I woke up enough to scribble a bunch of notes about it and then after a half hour or so of feeling really good about my amazing brain, I fell asleep. When I woke up, the only part of all that chicken scratch I could make out said "then they".

All I could remember was something about colorful rotating cubes.

347 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8727 23:33

I sprawled out on the couch for a nap, and like clockwork, my cat jumped up and curled up right behind my ass. After a while I felt a fart building up pressure, and I got up and went to the can. Farting on the cat isn't any fun without a witness.

348 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8728 18:24

>>346
All my best music ideas materialise in the moments before sleep. I convince myself I'll remember them in the morning, knowing that even the slightest distraction of getting up to jot them down would purge them from my mind.

349 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8730 14:57

I hide from the mailman.

350 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8731 19:52

Sometimes I scroll through PDFs just to look at the typesetting.

351 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-8732 07:29

I lied about brushing my teeth in the morning because I didn't want it to seem like I was laying in bed having not accomplished anything for the 2 hours after I'd woken up which then made it so that I couldn't brush my teeth without exposing the lie, and so I felt gross all day.

352 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8733 04:19

>>351
nice

353 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8733 07:04

My ultimate sexual fantasy is to go back in time and NTR myself. To steal my teenage girlfriend and make her orgasm over and over with my superior sexual prowess as my younger self watches and masturbates.

354 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8733 07:41

I stayed up late on the internet again instead of studying.

( ;_;)

355 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8735 05:20

>>354
I keep doing that too. Even when I know I'll regret it.

356 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8747 14:55

the poo in a butt thread is my most successful one yet.

357 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8748 12:24

>>356
That's it, you've peaked. It's all downhill from here

358 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8758 18:06

>>357
Yeah. glances wistfully at gun safe

359 Name: BOASTFUL AND PROUD : 1993-09-8759 16:51

>>356
Sucks to be you. As for myself, I started the original "post your lewd thoughts" and "1000 things LSD stands for" threads on SAOVQ!

360 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8760 05:40

I have downloaded several hundred gigabytes of animu over the past week. Some of it is old classics I've never gotten around to watching, some of it is guilty pleasures, and some of it is just random stuff I legitimately can't remember why I decided to get. I don't watch animu all that much anyway, and judging from past downloading binges, I feel a great deal of doubt as to whether I'll ever watch it all before I die.

Somehow there is more guilt in my heart from the wasted bandwidth than the fact that I illegally obtained the products of thousands upon thousands of hours of highly skilled labor without paying for any of it.

361 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8760 09:02

>>360
There's something satisfying about mass downloading shit. I recently downloaded a 23 gigabyte torrent of old PC-98 games only to discover that emulation is shit on OSX so I'll probably never actually play any of them.

One thing I've learned about the internet is to never assume stuff will be around forever... It might not be such a bad idea to mass-download animu and save it for a day when it's not available anymore.

Digital hoarding is also a lot less troublesome than actual hoarding.

362 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8760 12:41

>>361 I found using Parallels Desktop to run Windows XP on my mac was good for playing PC-98 games

363 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8760 19:21

>>360
I don't think anime producers care much about that - DVD sales matter much more, profit-wise, AFAIK.
You and >>361 are acting for the greater good. Digital archival and preservation of the past are much more important than licensing fees, in the grand scheme of things.

364 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8777 11:49

I once translated an ero manga and it was a lot of fun. I wish I could do more, but it's pretty much impossible now that I'm married and working full time.

365 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8784 02:17

I had a Japanese girlfriend for a while. One day after I told her a little about my day, she said "Oooo, you were rucky!" and I had the hardest time not laughing.

366 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8784 02:46

>>361
Is that available publicly?

368 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8784 07:49

Thanks!

369 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8809 22:29

When I was a little autistic kid watching tv, I'd sometimes focus so hard on trying to read a character's face that when I randomly remember some scene I watched back then, that character's face would be perfectly still, and its arms would go from down at its sides to flailing randomly all over and then back to its sides.

370 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8811 03:19

A waitress was asking me whether I want soup or salad, but I thought she was saying super salad, so I just said "yes," and everyone laughed at me.

371 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8811 10:07

>>370 Hahahaha brilliant!

372 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8812 01:06

It still kind of weirds me out to think that James Rolfe has a kid.

373 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-8812 03:26

I can't stop doing a Vietnamese accent and saying "Would you like some fried fish" or some variation.

374 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8817 20:05

I always snicker a bit at the video game title "Altered Beast" since, at least where I come from, the word "altered" when applied to an animal is used as a euphemism for "neutered".

375 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-8826 21:31

Sometimes when I go to the bathroom I sing "For He's A Jolly Good" in my head but with the lyrics changed to "I gotta go to the bathroom"

376 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8828 06:03

I still wish that TVs had those cool knob settings that changed how the screen looked. You could change the hue of the video, the sharpness, the contrast, and even the white balance that was used.

377 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8828 06:58

>>376
It's not knobs, but on most TVs you can still usually adjust most of that stuff if you dig through the menus.

378 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8828 11:46

knobs were a better interface for that

379 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8828 18:51

Knobs were brilliant. CRTs were brilliant. I had a crusty old 1600x1200 CRT for Mac OS 9.2 before the LCD resolution. (that was a pun)

380 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8828 18:52

All this talk of knobs makes me think of the British slang meaning of the word.

381 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8832 01:15

I'm always thinking of knobs, if by knobs you mean dicks

382 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8832 08:22

The real reason I don't use facebook/social media is because I'm afraid that one day I'll be fapping away and accidentally hit that "share this on facebook" button that every single porn tube site has for some godawful reason.

383 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8832 17:03

>>382
I've had that thought. Using both hands makes it less likely.

384 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8834 18:37

I just spent a week's salary on cute frilly clothes for crossdressing purposes.

385 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8834 18:56

I hope >>384 shows me photos of said crossdressing.

386 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8837 00:01

I find it weird to see "Lol" written. "lol" or "LOL", sure, but "Lol" is just kind of weird.

387 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8837 00:13

I know a couple people who use "LoL"

388 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8837 05:45

I don't clean up with a tissue after I jerk. Instead, I lick my hand clean.

389 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8837 13:40

>>387
That's okay if they're referring to League of Legends rather than Laugh Out Loud.

390 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8837 22:11

Leftover Orange Lightbulbs

391 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8838 11:58

Use of enjambment in a haiku really disgusts me but google suggests my distaste is not as widely shared as I had thought.

392 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8838 21:29

>>389
That's my thought, but they don't play League

393 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-8879 00:13

Barfed so hard noodles came out of my nose

394 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8879 04:13

lol

395 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8881 09:03

Sometimes when I'm writing a text message and the auto-correct/auto-suggested word is particularly funny I just leave it in on purpose so I can make a "ducking autocorrect LOL" joke. Earlier it changed "Kroger" (a regional grocery store chain) to "Korea", which I thought was funny since my message ended up reading something about walking to Korea to buy bread.

396 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8881 12:40

>>391
How about semicolons?

397 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8882 07:48

>>395
I enjoyed your confession.

398 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8886 22:08

I would like to use services from a certain small LLC, but I don't want to tie my personal brand to theirs.

399 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8888 16:42

use of enjambment in a
haiku really irks
me, but it's quite popular

400 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8888 18:24

When I was a kid I thought Hitler was a title instead of some dictator's name, since "hit" is a violent action and all sorts of people get called Hitler for frivolous reasons.

401 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8890 18:04

Woke up, farted, and then sat up right into the fart cloud.

402 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8929 21:28

I have no friends.

403 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8930 20:19

I've posted a lie in this thread just to have something to post in this thread.

404 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8930 20:26

>>403 this was the lie

405 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8965 17:36

Sometimes I'll turn on one of those secret life of kittens shows just to listen to my cat growl at them.

406 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8967 17:50

Sometimes I'm writing a sentence or something in English and trying to think of a word a Japanese word comes into my head first, then I have to think of an English word for that word and get kinda bummed out when it's actually like three words.

I've never even been to Japan, 2018 is weird.

407 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8968 14:00

I still play minecraft sometimes.

408 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8968 14:42

If you sign up,
You can earn $1,000,000 too.
http://goo.gl/YLysV3

409 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8969 20:08

I sometimes get a half-chub while holding my cat. It's not that I want to fuck my cat, but the sensation of being so intimately physically close with another mammal is really stimulating and is something otherwise lacking in my miserable life.

410 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8969 21:14

Doom (the 90s one) is my favorite game, and I replayed it countless times.

411 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8970 18:15

I always leave one ice cube in the tray because I don't want to refill it.

412 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8972 02:49

I kind of like your genre, but I sure as hell don't know the scene.

413 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-8972 04:21

I had something really lame, but I forgot it.

414 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8983 18:38

I just named a script that slightly randomizes a planet's position Dudge the Spoobnumby.

415 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9111 20:43

I am dissatisfied with every e-book reader I've seen, but I also don't believe I could make or commission a better one if I tried.

416 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9207 15:57

I just beamed brunch, the gayest meal of the day, directly into my mouth.

417 Name: vc: jipotion : 1993-09-9211 00:37

The main reason I'm not into alcohol is that I want to give all of them a fair shake, but I couldn't justify getting drunk that often.

418 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9211 19:13

I ran out of science in Kerbal

419 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9233 02:12

When I was in high school, I played WoW obsessively. Like I'd come home, fire up the game, and play til it was time for bed. One day I had to read some report about the Cold War out loud to my history class and literally could not stop myself from calling it the "Warsong Pact" about 20 times in 3 minutes.

420 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9234 15:58

I used a tall glass of oats as a fleshlight and I'd do it again

captcha: relube

421 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9262 23:26

I just wrote a lenghty post about a recent dream I had, detailing it's emotional impact on my currently ailing mind/pointless life, only to withold it, afterall.
It felt too personal and crude. I'd have felt too nude publishing it, anonymity be damned.
It's a lame thing, but I can't bring myself to discuss too personal matters on the internet, despite everyone else's apparent trigger-happiness to do so.

422 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9263 12:36

Sometimes I want to troll or be abrasive on internet forums (never DQN of course) but I start to regret my actions partway through and start genuinely engaging with people. I just want everyone to be happy and have fun.

423 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9279 13:16

I started writing a confession several times but I don't remember if I posted it and I don't want to risk making it twice.

424 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9284 15:17

I need to write a menial piece of code that'd be immensely helpful to somebody very dear but I couldn't write a single line for 1.5 months, keeping myself distracted and busy with nothing.

425 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9293 23:33

I don't know what a "hot take" is.

426 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9294 07:56

i got a good gacha roll but it wasn't the one i wanted so i'm still gonna be a bitch-ass about it

427 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9294 16:42

>>425
It's the new way to say "I have a shitty opinion"

428 Name: vc: theick : 1993-09-9339 22:04

There are many early 00s memes I am glad did not survive, but I kinda wish "needs more Lain" did.

429 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9340 02:04

>>428
Why are you glad those memes didn't survive? Those memes were naive, those memes were pure. The worst of those memes were a thousand times better than the "black twitter"-tier memes we have now.

Good grief, how often I have referred to those times as "when /b/ was good" to never see "/b/ was never good" in response. Stumbling on a rare oldfriend saying this is balsam to the soul.

430 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9340 19:58

>Good grief, how often I have

Why so often?

431 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9340 20:06

>>429
I sing of a time before 4chan.

432 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9341 01:21

>>430
No particular reason.
>>431
Do you mean that "LOL, INTERNETS" gif?

433 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9341 01:24

>>429
/b/ was good for a couple of months, then it turned into a gigantic retard magnet. I don't miss it. Once in a while I'll look at /tg/ or /m/ for a bit.

I made a bunch of those little banners they used back then.

434 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9342 05:01

>>433
It was good for a little longer. I still remember enthusing to an university pal about it. The first thing he saw there was some gay porn. But it wasn't bad, the board.

I'd have been a respectable engineer these days if it wasn't for /b/. So, I drown my sorrow in calling other posters "retards" on the last few remotely decent boards...

435 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9344 03:34

i guess someone's gonna get a good chuckle out of this...

but i'm mad because my abusive fatass father ruined my bacon

436 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9504 12:13

Multiple times, I heard sound from trees. It sounded like a woman humming simple tunes. I could walk around them, sit down, and it just kept on.

437 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9504 14:35

I can relate >>435. Except it was I who fucked up the bacon because I was used to cooking with gas stoves at my mom's house. When the fucker came in to get a piece he saw the charred bacon, snatched the pan and threw it on the front steps. Then backhand slapped me and told me to clean up the front steps because "stone steps get stains". So I cleaned his mess while he bitched at me the whole time

438 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9505 07:47

Sometimes while I'm in public I start dancing to music I'm listening to in my head

439 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9528 07:33

When I was a teenager I thought enema was when drugs interacted.

Anyway the history teacher who showed us a video that said pulque was used that way took points off for me mentioning it in an essay test.

440 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9744 07:54

kemonomimi got me into hentai

441 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9825 15:16

i never bothered to read the grinding noises thread

442 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9917 23:24

I have every post in the Youtube threads open in separate tabs

443 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 15:11

I once stole a pear from my neighbour's orchard. I don't even like pears, it was just fun being bad with my cronies.

444 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 15:26

Sometimes a reply to one of my posts will be a little too accurate and I'll wonder if it's just coincidence or a lucky guess, or if the admin is calling me out based on past post history from my IP block.

445 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 17:30

>>444
How come? Have you been making very recognizable posts lately, perhaps?

446 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 17:58

I've been putting off a call for six months because I hate calling people I don't know.

447 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 19:22

>>444 I've had that creepy feeling quite a few times here...

448 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-9959 21:11

I made 90%+of the several hundred gomez posts (including Punctual) in the old countdown thread over the course of a couple of days while bored at work when it didn't seem like there'd be enough posts by to reach >>800 by day 8000.

449 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9960 12:43

>>448 I already knew that

450 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9960 14:44

>>448 Because it was legendary

451 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10007 22:57

A spam made it through to my inbox and I told Gmail to report spam. It gave me the option to unsubscribe and like an idiot I clicked it. Now instead of getting three or four a day, I'm getting up to 70 per day.

Goddaammit.

452 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10007 23:07

I checked the comments section for a rare unofficially released compilation record that's not allowed on the Discogs marketplace and found a guy saying to PM him for a copy. I PM him and ask if it's available to which he quickly responds saying it is. I tell him I'm interested and want a photo to make sure it's the correct version and he hasn't responded in 2 days. This is the most I've grieved over a loss in a while.

453 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10008 11:12

>>452 What is it you're after?

454 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10008 11:14

I used to be a nutmeg man

455 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10008 21:43

>>453
I don't want more people to know about it till I got my copy!

456 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10009 01:08

I would be willing to pay a lot of money for an original pressing of unkle adams Original "mini record". Thats my shameful admission.

457 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10024 03:14

>>453
Ok I secured a copy. It's a compilation called Red Laser Disco.

458 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10024 03:42

>>456
Someone has it up on Discogs for $420 with a "Make Offer" option

459 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10033 16:22

Sometimes I see a fabulously stupid post and think "that would be a funny one for the 4-ch comment copypaste thread", then I remember I'm already on 4-ch. Sometimes on the comment copypaste thread, no less.

460 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10033 16:41

I've almost completely forgotten my girlfriend's birthday which is next week and I have no idea which day it is and I'm too scared to ask, all I know is it's next week. I used to know. I even had it saved on my calendar on my old phone but I replaced it.

461 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10062 01:20

Nowadays when I can't find a hair tie or headband in my immediate vicinity, I just use the elastic part of a face mask so there's a mask dangling from the back of my head.

462 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10062 12:16

>>460
I hope you avoided a disaster

463 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10062 13:28

>>462
I figured it out 😎

464 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10075 18:35

Bought a second copy of >>457

465 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10075 19:29

>>464 I downloaded it too on your recommendation. Pretty fun, I had a boogie!

466 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10088 06:09

I got inspired to get off my butt and go for a run because of the female athletes I fapped to just prior.

467 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10100 17:04

I was going to bump 10 ancient threads but got bored after only three.

468 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10100 20:34

>>443
Wasnft expecting to see you on 4-ch, Augustine.

469 Name: Augustine of Hippo : 1993-09-10111 23:19

>>468 I started this thread!

470 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10113 12:21

I prefer Symbian to Android.

471 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10114 06:55

I prefer dial-up to broadband.

473 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10304 16:08

I unironically like to read Wikihow.

474 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10353 15:09

Sometimes I'll suddenly pause my game like g... WTF is that noise coming from the kitchen‽h and I'll run through and it's the washing machine I switched on 10 minutes ago

475 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10366 19:34

>>67 did you introduce them to 4-ch? because that sure rings a bell

476 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10411 03:52

When I was 2 or 3 I thought the Jolly Green Giant was supposed to be a depiction of God.

477 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10411 09:55

478 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10478 07:55

I bump old threads on general intentionally

479 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10479 06:19

I get squeamish about eating "the gross bits" like offal and fish heads.

480 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10485 12:55

I still haven't completed a single Pokedex.

481 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10486 07:42

I sometimes feel like an anonymous BBS' equivalent of an unnamed villager NPC in an old RPG. No one remembers me (not that I ever contributed anything worth being remembered by) but at least I was here.

482 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10488 23:41

I'm no furry but Amy Rose's is one hedgehog pussy I'd love to eat

483 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10501 06:45

I feel the need to announce my plans to log off in advance, so that I don't get accused of ragequitting.

484 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10501 21:03

>>481 I feel like this irl, that's my lame confession.

485 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10505 22:13

I had my first bike-related incident today, in the form of push starting my dad's old bike and tripping and scraping my hands.
Feeling extremely gay now. Happy pride month.

486 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10517 11:54

I'm pro-fullstop-in-the-title-of-the-current-thought-thread but chickened out when creating the latest one.

487 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10523 21:47

Hearing about women being lonely makes me happy, because it makes me hope someone's desperate enough to choose me.

488 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10523 22:15

I had heart trouble last year that permanently weakened me to the point where I can't get hard any more. Now I look at some absolutely stunning women and think "eh."

489 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10529 22:44

i was reading about omorashi (japanese fetish of pee-holding) online the other day so i decided to give it a shot. chugged down one and a half liters of water and then i went to a grocery store. the urge for peeing suddenly kicked in while i was at a store but i managed to hold it in while i was there. it felt like walking made the whole thing worse because the motion moved my bladder (i guess), so by the time i got home i was almost peeing my pants.
has it ever happened to you that as soon as you enter your hose after a long day you feel like you need to take a shit? that's what happened with me except i felt a painful urge to pee. i layed down on my bed and by this point i was feeling like someone had kicked me on my crotch. i knew i had to go to the bathroom, on my way there i noticed i couldn't stand straight because doing so made my bladder hurt terribly. i sat on the toilet seat and one minute later i was pissing unvoluntary.

overall i gotta admit it was a pleasant experience during the first 45 minutes or so, but after that it was just painful and not in an enjoyable way.

490 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10603 20:34

I've listened to all of the VIPTRONICS COOL FREE RINGTONES at least a couple of times each.

491 Name: vc: exyuge : 1993-09-10737 08:26

I miss VGCats.

492 Name: nerv : 1993-09-10856 08:24

i love the smell of my sweaty asshole... if i don't shower for a few days i spend a lot of time just breathing in my dank crevice

493 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11144 01:16

When I was 14 years old and an anarcho-primitivist I would masturbate exclusively to caveman porn featuring brown people out of desire to keep ideological consistency.

494 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11144 12:29

>>490 I made a few of those

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