Has anyone else been suffering from phantom shits as of late?
I keep having sensory hallucinations where I feel that I have sharted and I can feel the moistness of my asshole and the liquid hot arsejuice trickling down my thighs, but when I go to wipe, there is always nothing there. It especially tends to start up whenever I'm wiping my ass post-shit. I'm done shitting and I start wiping and immediately I feel the shitwaters running down. It invariably continues well past the point when I am perfectly clean and dry; I always end up wasting far more toilet paper than necessary trying to wipe off ever-flowing diarrhoea that isn't even there.

This is a very new phenomenon for me.