INSTANT REVIEW: C
You can complain all you want, it's not going anywhere anytime soon.
INSTANT REVIEW: Common Lisp
The *nix of languages: full of cruft, inertia, and too many implementations.
INSTANT REVIEW: JavaScript 2.0
Perl 6.
Try and guess how many posts I have made in this thread.
i think i've posted as !WAHa.06x36 at least once in this thread... i thought everyone knew his tripcode...
a review from someone who's in the middle of learning...
Instant Review: ASM
huh...?
>>172
more like "huh...? which ASM?"
i'm guessing x86, in which case my comment would be more like "OH GOD MAKE THE PAIN STOP" and also "why would anyone learn this"
>>173
actually, that last question applies equally no matter which ASM you're talking about.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby2
And you thought Perl6 was taking a long time...
INSTANT REVIEW: WINDOWS DDK
When you think programming is easy
INSTANT REVIEW: MACHINE CODE
Put that in Pascal's pipe and smoke it.
>>171
we don't, please tell us :3
INSTANT REVIEW: brainfuck
Any language that looks like ebay comment feedback is GREAT+++++++++++++
>>178
write a tripcode cracker and crack it yourself. that's what i did.
it only took me about half an hour to crack this tripcode...
09013251697
E8IW-QI8E.Ru-chan.E8IW-QI8E@softbank.ne.jp
#hR6k
INSTANT REVIEW: Ragel
Despite being a language for writing parsers, I am only going to provide text parsing and not any built-in way of reading numbers, and code callbacks will only get pointers to the end of a token instead of the beginning.
(It's actually quite nice though. http://www.zedshaw.com/tips/ragel_state_charts.html)
INSTANT REVIEW: Java and PHP
Fail and AIDS.
class Yhbt {
public static void main (String[] args) {
System.out.println("Thank you for your most humble critique of my most serious post, whose purpose was only to attempt to contribute constructively to this thread"); }
}
INSTANT REVIEW: Smalltalk
Yay programming:Everything using:Messages is:Fun.
INSTANT REVIEW: SQL
Official lanaguage of the universe.
The embedded list!
------------------
INSTANT REVIEW: x86 assembly
It's fun when you're programming your shiny new 3GHz $500 processor with an instruction set that was antiquated 20 years ago, and realize it's gonna be around for another 20 years.
INSTANT REVIEW: MIPS assembly
It's fun when you're programming your four year old 1GHz $5,000 processor with one of the cleanest instruction sets around, and realize that nobody makes MIPS systems anymore.
INSTANT REVIEW: ARM assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 1GHz $5 processor with one of the simplest instruction sets around, and realize you're targeting a mobile phone.
INSTANT REVIEW: PowerPC assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 3GHz $50 processor with one of the most popular RISC instruction sets around, and realize that Apple abandoned you and the latest PowerPC processors are more crippled than netburst.
INSTANT REVIEW: PIC assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 40MHz $0.50 processor with one of the most basic instruction sets around, and realize that you're writing code for a remote control!
INSTANT REVIEW: C166 assembly
It's fun when you're programming your brand new 40MHz $50.00 processor with one of the most funky instruction sets around, and realize that if you make a mistake somebody is probably going to die.
(note: C166s are used in a lot of car management computers, airplane instruments, etc)
INSTANT REVIEW: VU assembly
It's fun when you're programming your six year old 297MHz processor with one of the coolest instruction sets around, and realize you've just spent twenty hours solid optimizing a loop for a game that's just been canceled.
INSTANT REVIEW: C
It's fun when you realize that you can do something easier and more efficiently in assembly, but your manager requires it to be "portable".
INSTANT REVIEW: Python and Ruby at the same time, presented entirely as a quote from some web forum:
"0 is true?!? This sensation in my head must be what those Python-haters feel when they unfairly dismiss a language with meaningful whitespace."
are there any reviews on Visual Basic ^^;
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
No.
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
Did you mean: delphi?
C++ is teh pwn lols
nope visual basic is an actual programming language. it was made by microsoft.
you might be right I am still new to programming.
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
HyperCard for professionals.
>>195 win... even though nobody else seems to have got the joke :)
>>200
oh we got it, but we didn't feel a need to bump the thread to say so
In after 200GET
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
Because boss wants it done, YESTERDAY!
INSTANT REVIEW: SML
It is impossible to get a runtime exception with this language, because it is impossible to understand the compiler errors.
(This also applies to Haskell.)
INSTANT REVIEW: VB.NET
>combines the essence of C++ and javascript
>>80 I lold
INSTANT REVIEW - Pseudocode
Just as useful as Pascal: You will have a great idea of what to do, but you'll have to apply it somewhere else later if you want it to be out to the public.
INSTANT REVIEW: Lisp
http://xkcd.com/c224.html
INSTANT REVIEW: Visual Basic
BASIC and C++ are horrible! Let's program in both of them at the same time!
INSTANT REVIEW: C++
Segmentation fault.
INSTANT REVIEW: C
Hello World!^$&% @LK#J @ ^K@#LJ$ @#LKJ(U (U ASH@#%() (@U# 235 23(^@#)(U$ @#I^ 2394 2#^(@ U#$@#$ 23^KJ#$ @(#U ^U==12#(P @%(U
INSTANT REVIEW: PHP
\'Hello World!\'
>>211
good one
INSTANT REVIEW: Common Lisp
We got the language right back in the '50s, and then spent the next 50 years trying to agree on the argument order. And failed.
Algol: Assembly language is too low-level.
Pascal: Algol doesn't have enough data types.
Modula: Pascal is too wimpy for systems programming.
Simula: Algol isn't good enough at simulations.
Smalltalk: Not everything in Simula is an object.
Fortran: Assembly language is too low-level.
Cobol: Fortran is scary.
PL/1: Fortran doesn't have enough data types.
Ada: Every existing language is missing something.
Basic: Fortran is scary.
APL: Fortran isn't good enough at manipulating arrays.
J: APL requires its own character set.
C: Assemby language is too low-level.
C++: C is too low-level.
Java: C++ is a kludge. And Microsoft is going to crush us.
C#: Java is controlled by Sun.
Lisp: Turing Machines are an awkward way to describe computation.
Scheme: MacLisp is a kludge.
T: Scheme has no libraries.
Common Lisp: There are too many dialects of Lisp.
Dylan: Scheme has no libraries, and Lisp syntax is scary.
Perl: Shell scripts/awk/sed are not enough like programming languages.
Python: Perl is a kludge.
Ruby: Perl is a kludge, and Lisp syntax is scary.
Prolog: Programming is not enough like logic.
MATLAB: You'd already best have finished C if you even want to THINK about using this language.
>>216
Look, it's Paul Graham!
Or is a just a faggot who copy and pastes shit from reddit?
Aw c'mon, don't bring back this worthless trolling thread.
INSTANT REVIEW: Python and Ruby
We're advanced languages!
Huh? Lexical scoping? What's that?
ruby: last minute attempt to be functional
lucid: haskell and prolog are not academic enough
>>220 Ruby has lexical scoping.
>>223
It most assuredly does not. Rather, it has that hack called blocks to substitute for first-class functions and lexical scoping (and doesn't get it right either).
Saying it doesn't get it right without saying how it doesn't get it right, is effectively the same as giving no information whatsoever.
>>225
For your edification: http://4-ch.net/code/kareha.pl/1132768506/105
Now, let's get back to the humor:
INSTANT REVIEW: Machine Code
1010 1010 1011 1010 0010 0011 1001 1001
Delphi: silently getting shits done.
INSANT REVIEW: lisp
Simple (the first scheme manual was ~50 pages long))))))))))))))))))))))))
PowerShell, C#, and J#: "C'mon guys, we're cool and hip! Just like Ruby, Python, and Java!"
WCF (Indigo) and ASP.NET: "C'mon guys, we're cool and hip! Just like SOAP, AJAX, PHP, and Rails!"
OT: Zune: "C'mon guys, we're cool and hip! Just like the iPod!"
INSTANT REVIEW: >>230
Will hate anything with Microsoft's name on it, without ever looking at what it actually is.
>>231
I used to work at Microsoft ("v-" work-for-hire on the Group Policy sub-division of the Enterprise Services sub-division of the OS division). So yes, I am pretty familiar with most of the technologies I mock.
Have you ever heard of irony? I hate MS's sycophancy more than the actual technologies themselves.
INSTANT REVIEW: >>231
Abort, Retry, or Fail (A/R/F)? F
INSTANT REVIEW: Ruby
A blast!
INSTANT REVIEW: Actionscript
Let's pay money to program in PHP.
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
The OSX of programming languages. Good at getting stuff done, but it won't help your E-penis.
>>235
If you have to explain the analogy then it isn't funny.
>>236
If you have to explain someones failure, he instantly wins and you fail
>>237
I disagree. Rather, you fail.
>>238
i agree. you fail.
INSTANT REvIEW: C#
I'm Java, but not portable.
INSTANT REVIEW: Eiffel
Buzzword-oriented programming.
INSTANT REVIEW VIA LARRY WALL QUOTES: PHP
"We've also seen the rise of PHP, which takes the worse-is-better approach to dazzling new depths, as it were. By and large PHP seems to be making the same progression of mistakes as early Perl did, only slower."
INSTANT REVIEW: Java
I'm Java, but not portable.
INSTANT REVIEW: Python
Unreadable, unmaintainable and unstructured.
INSTANT REVIEW: Trolling
Post deleted by moderator.
>>248
Forced indentation doesn't help readability, although it does increase irritability.
>>250
Why not?
Because frankly, expert programmers don't want to waste time tending bonsai when they're experimenting. That means they want a language that helps them get prototype-quality results fast. That's why languages like perl and lisp are so damn powerful: Their design makes it easy to get results fast.
When Python makes you spend so much time on some code aesthetic that you're not experimenting, you necessarily end up with a second-rate design. Oh sure, it looks pretty, but it took you three times longer, and it's slower than what could've been accomplished in better languages.
>>252
I've already designed my program using models on paper and in my head before I touch a keyboard. Writing code takes me no time compared to the time it takes me to model ways of solving the specs.
>>253 The requirements are rarely well-known enough to make those kinds of decisions before development starts. That's why programs like BIND, Sendmail, DHCPD, and Apache are so freakishly complicated, and buggy. It isn't because the people writing them are worse engineers than you- they're probably much better engineers. It is the result of their development that has made the domain well-defined, so it is obvious that getting the prototype working quickly is more important. It provides useful information that all the planning on paper and "in your head" will simply never provide.
>>252
Get a real text editor editor.
Also, I don't see how it doesn't help readability.
Better yet, use a better language and a real text editor, and save even more time.
Discussion now continues here: http://4-ch.net/code/kareha.pl/1197432195/
INSTANT REVIEW: XSLT
It's Turing Complete!
>>261
What do you mean by assembler?
Like NASM or that fucking horrible GNU ASM
>>262
NASM uses what's called Intel assembly. "The other" format is AT&T assembly, and it has a number of functional benefits over Intel syntax, not the least of which being it's what every other system uses, which means porting between architectures is (a small bit) easier.
NASM reminds me too much of Microsoft assembler.
[B]INSTANT REVIEW: MALBOLGE[/B]
GOQ/)§%"06z8jT§%OI&UJASOI%
The point here is kind of that you should try to actually be funny or insightful. Also, welcome to a world unpolluted by BBcode.
INSTANT REVIEW: PHP
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I don\\\\'t know why more people haven\\\\'t tried PHP yet, it\\\\'s so easy to make a dynamic website with it!
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