( ・-・) If your thread has an established theme, I'm going to do my best to fuck it over.

( ・ω・) 800gets are for babies.

( ・-・) I eat babies.

( ・ω・) You're a baby.

( ・-・) Your face is a baby.

( ´ω`) The Baby Is You.

( ・-・) said No! I must eat the babies!
( ´ω`) said, no, you are the babies.
And then ( ・-・) was a Clonepa.

( ・-・) Saw it coming.

bump

le xD

( ・-・) I hate this thread.

>>812
The feeling's mutual.

( ・-・)

( ・-・) jiiii-

( ・ω・) butt.

( ・-・) Clonepa, you're getting on my n-

( ・-(○ミ　 thunk
　_
( ・-・)っ○　Alright, who just threw this at me?

>>818
It was me. What are you going to do about it?

( ・ω・) I like you!

( ・-・)I'm quite fond of myself too.

( ・-・) ...

( ・-・) What? Nobody taking the setup this time?

( ・-・)

( ´ω`) I remember when I was your dad's age, I'd fondle you too.

( ・-・) Thanks for the pity punchline, Cramps.

( ´ω`) Hey we haven't had a johnny inspection in a while, I better check you for elves.

( • - • ) Aleoght grampdA, check me for Elvis.

In the lighter side of the news, Beady Eyes has donated
his entire collection of rare Tenga Eggs to the American
Lung Association. When asked for comment, the annoying
comic foil said "I think everyone should be-
￣￣Ｖ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　∧_∧
/　　/ 　　| |　　／　　　　　　　　　　（・ω・ ） Isn't that nice?
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿||　　＼　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　|;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　 |l─────‐l|'

My polished nails look spectacular. Literally dazzling, even.

As Pushkin wrote in Eugene Onegin:

 A man who's active and incisive
 can yet keep nail-care much in mind:
 why fight what's known to be decisive?
 custom is despot of mankind.

( ・-・) That's just lame, >>837

　　　　　　　　 ∩∩
　　　　 　　 　 ( ・-・) Fuck this thread. I'm outta here.
　　　　　　　　O┬O
　　　　　　　　( .∩.|
　　　　　　 　 ι| |j::...
　　　 　 　 　 　 ∪::::::

（・-・　）. . .

( ´ω`) Yeah, I'm going to go with derailed on this one.

( ´ω`) Fun fact: This thread has been running for over 6 years and hasn't 999getted yet.

>>847
What are you talking about? Not even one year has passed.

( ・-・) Screw you if you think that this thread is derailed.

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Antelope Freeway, one five hundred twelfth mile!

( ・-・) Who let Mittens drive? She's like six years old!

( ・ω・) Watch out! You could get run o-

( ・ω・) ....

( ・ω・) Never mind.

( ・-・) I hate me and my thread.

( ・-・) I make me so mad!

Where did you come from?
( ・-・)　(・-・ ) I dunno lol

　 　 　 　 　 　　 　　　　,　　,
　　　　　　　　　　　　　//　 //
　 　 　　　　　　　　　.//i　 //i　　/i　／ｊ
　　　　　　　　　　　 // / // /　 j み／
　　　　　　　　　　 ./'7/ /'7,/　　(・-・ ) Enough beating around the bush!
　　　　　　　　　　//-,//´　 _rc'rc'　＼ ､
　　　　　　　 　／/　　/　ヽ'´　´''＝=＝'　､
　　　　　　　　i (), 　 ,(_)　 ミ　 　　　　　　　　 ,ｨ^i
　　　　　　 __,ﾐ 　K 　　＿_彡　清純派　 　　　l　!
　　　　　 ,--'-,<_____, ,'----<⌒＼ /　/　　　　 lﾉ
　 　 　　/,/,// 　　/,/,//______i===i__________,_j
　　　 　　]三]==-===]三]>＠＝＠＝＠＝＠<[
　　　　 　 ^ﾆゞﾍﾍﾍ^ﾆゞﾍﾍﾍﾍﾍﾍ_ﾍﾊ'ソ`
　　　　　 　 ￣￣￣￣　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

( ・ω・) But will your thread ever 999get?

When I think about you
( ・-・)　(・-・ ) I kick myself

　 ∩∩
　(・-・ )　And then I run away!
　 ﾟ○-Ｊﾟ

( ´ω`) And then what happens?

( ・-・) Usually I hide from myself, or just go take a shit.
( ・-・) Depends on what I had for lunch, really.

/i　 ／ｊ
j み/／
(・-・ ) Ack, my ears. Preview isn't working from here. I wonder if this will be better.

( ・ω・) But will your thread ever 999get?

( ・-・) No, it clearly won't. If it does, I'll kill myself forever.

gooby plz

( ・-・) I want to thank people in this thread: http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1406087307/l50

( ・-・) People who drop dead early reduce the burden on social security and 24 hour care facilities.

goof butts

( ・-・) Go away.

( ・ω・) Hey, Beady.

(・-・ ) What?

( ・ω・) 凸

( ・-・) That's what your mom said.

( #-・) .....

( #-・) At least someone still cares enough to do a flying kick into the back of my head.

( #-・) ow

( ・ω・) Hey Beady!

( ・-・) Fuck off.

( ・ω・) I don't wanna.

( ・-・) Fuck off!

( ・ω・) Nah.

( ・ω・) Also, 888get.

( ・-・) What part of fuck off are you not getting?

Well, Clonepa, when a man and a woman love each other very much...
￣￣Ｖ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　 　　　　　　 　∧_∧ 　　　　
/　　/ 　　| |　　　　　　　　　　　　　(・∀・ )　Boooorrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiing!
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿| |　　　　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　|;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　|l─────‐l|'

Then the woman lays a clutch of eggs in a hidden, safe place and the man fertilizes them by squishing a mucus bag of sperm over them with his hands,
being careful to spread those randy little swimmers evenly over the eggs.
￣￣Ｖ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　 　　　　　　 　∧_∧ 　　　　
/　　/ 　　| |　　　　　　　　　　　　　(・∀・ )　Wait, what?
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿| |　　　　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　|;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　|l─────‐l|'

The eggs will cook for several months, or until golden brown.
￣￣Ｖ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　 　　　　　　 　∧_∧ 　　　　
/　　/ 　　| |　　　　　　　　　　　　　(・∀・ )　Oh, eggs.
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿| |　　　　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　|;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　|l─────‐l|'

The woman now takes the man to family court, where he is
stripped of all his wealth now and for the next eighteen years,
for the good of the golden brown eggs.
￣￣Ｖ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　 　　　　　　 　∧_∧ 　　　　
/　　/ 　　| |　　　　　　　　　　　　　(・∀・ )　I wonder if Rei's has omelets.
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿| |　　　　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　|;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　|l─────‐l|'

Having separated the hapless man from his wealth, the
woman then goes on to attract another man and the whole
process begins again. Nature truly is beautiful.
￣￣Ｖ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　 　　　　　　 　∧_∧ 　　　　
/　　/ 　　| |　　　　　　　　　　　　　(・∀・ )　I'm hungry.
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿| |　　　　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　|;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　|l─────‐l|'

Left on their own, the eggs eventually hatch, and a million
baby spiders come out.
￣￣Ｖ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　 　　　　　　
/　　/ 　　| |　　　　　　　　　　　　　
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿| |　　　　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　|;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　|l─────‐l|'

( ・-・) I am going to synthesize my own DDT because I hate spiders and I don't give a fuck about the environment. If anybody complains about the environmental damage I may cause, I will harpoon a seal.

( ・-・) Then I'll emit so much CO2 that the world becomes a tropical paradise.

( ・-・) PARADISE I SAY!!!

(・-・ ) Baby spiders?