CTRL+V THREAD! [part 5] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5552 19:20

In many GUI environments, including Microsoft Windows and most desktop environments based on the X Window System, and in applications such as word processing software running in those environments, control-V can be used to paste text from the clipboard at the current cursor position. Control-V was one of a handful of keyboard sequences chosen by the program designers at Xerox PARC to control text editing. Presumably these particular keystrokes were chosen because of their location on a standard QWERTY keyboard, since the Z (undo), X (cut), C (copy), and V (paste) keys are located together at the left end of the bottom row of the standard QWERTY keyboard. The equivalent Mac OS key combination on Apple computers is Command-V.

950 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6001 01:27

951 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6001 02:40

お兄ちゃんだからいいよ〜♪

952 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6001 08:42

A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!

But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso popped out!

The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms popped out!

The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.

By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs popped out.

The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.

The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."

953 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6003 01:22

954 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6003 03:15

FUCK YOU CUNT!! FUCK YOU!!!!

955 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6003 03:36

>>954

I have this feeling this was directed at me somehow.

cries

956 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6003 16:00

a

957 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6004 03:18

958 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6004 05:52

Leave these fields empty (spam trap):

959 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6004 16:12

The universe is constantly being created, once every Planck unit of time. Our consciousness skims across each one in turn and gives the illusion of a constant physical system because we don't have the resolution to detect otherwise.

960 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6004 16:12

How come every time I ask Nell what the answer is to life, all it responds with is "42". When I ask what 42 means, it tells me that I'll need a bigger computer.

961 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6004 17:02

I remember my first time playing Morrowind. I hated it.

"Hi there, you dick. Welcome to Australia. Get off the boat and fuck off."

"Kay, now take this quiz. Looks like you're an archer based on your personality! Good fucking luck! Now go to this city."

>Fuck, where do I go... Holy shit, that's a giant bug I can't kill and... ... it's a taxi service? But I'm dirt poor. Guess I'm hoofing it.

Shirtless druggie guy: Oh.. uh.. hi. Um... I guess I need to get you started. Go join a guild or something.

Fighters guild: Go help this lady with her MONSTER PROBLEM.

>Kay.

Lady: eeek, giant rats!

>I'll save you lady! ... wait, rats? Seriously? I'm in Australia with bug taxies, druggies telling me what to do, and I'm a full time exterminator?
>Get killed by rats.

Fuck this game.

962 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6005 03:59

Problem #4? I'm sure pulseaudio has something to do with this, but the volume on my computer appears to have exactly 3 notches between quiet and SUPER FUCKING TRIPLE SONIC BOOM YOU WIN! Ubuntu -- damaging your senses, one sense at a time. Maybe Linux is totally awesome if you're blind and deaf, and you just connect a serial console to your ass.

963 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6005 16:23

Defenestration is the act of throwing someone or something out of a window.

964 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6005 19:10

nude

965 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6009 05:14

My wife asked me what I was getting her for Valentines day. I told her she is getting the wonderful opportunity to cook me dinner, and if she’s lucky, I might put out.

967 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6013 05:34

We know why it's in Dev hell, and it has nothing to do with the developers.

968 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6013 07:58

So, I joined Club Nintendo.

(on my friend's computer)

969 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6013 08:23

You've just plugged a device into the audio jack!

970 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6013 17:32

SYS 64738

971 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6013 20:37

972 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6013 21:49

973 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6018 23:42

Finally . . . when we have no other counsel, let us employ the counsel of old women, who may slander and defame the girl as much as they can, for they are more sagacious in this than men. . . . Let there be sought a most horrible-looking old woman with great teeth, a beard, and evil and vile clothing who carries a menstrous napkin in her lap. And, approaching the lover, let her begin to pull up her dress, explaining that she is bony and drunken, that she urinates in bed, that she is epileptic and shameless, that there are great stinking excrescences on her body, and other enormities concerning which old women are well instructed. If the lover will not relent on account of this persuasion, let her suddenly take out the menstrous rag before his face and bear it aloft saying with a loud cry, "Such is your love, such!" If he doesn't relent on account of these things, he is a devil incarnate. His fatuousness will be with him finally in perdition.

974 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6019 16:17

5 standard excuses

-There’s an explanation for everything, but security forbids its disclosure.
-Because of budgets cuts, supervisory resources went beyond limits.
-It was a worthwhile experiment, now abandoned, but not before it had provided much valuable data and employment.
-It occurred before important facts were known and couldn’t re-occur.
-It was an unfortunate lapse by an individual, dealt with under internal disciplinary procedures.

975 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6020 02:05

a';DROP TABLE users; SELECT * FROM userinfo WHERE 't' = 't

976 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6020 20:17

977 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6023 01:42

w

979 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6023 05:59

Ed Hardy

980 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6023 15:14

981 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6023 17:53

982 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6023 18:00

983 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6025 19:23

The banking sector aren't that dissimilar from quantum physicists ... they deal with gigantic magnitudes of imaginary "wealth" that ceases to exists as soon as someone actually scrutinizes the figures and collapses the waveform, causing it all to disappear.

Still at least we've managed to capture the Madoff Particle.

984 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6026 02:06

985 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6026 09:53

986 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6027 02:18

Sorry for interrupting your thread >>1, but I just want to say this quick. It will only take a minute to read. I have been masturbating for as long as I can remember, since I was four years old at the least (in fact, it is my second earliest memory, behind seeing a caterpillar being eaten by ants.) During naptime at preschool, I would lie on my stomach with my penis pointed down toward my feet (I still have quite a lot of flexibility at the base of my penis from this) and squeeze it between my legs and hands. Looking back I am surprised no one ever noticed anything. Or maybe they just never said anything. I actually preferred it then to now because I did not squirt.

987 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6028 04:53

>>349
We're right here, bro.

988 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6028 04:59

I once told someone, "I guess you're going to lose 1/8 of your total hit points each turn, because you got BURNED!"

Then I went home and wondered why I don't have any friends.

989 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6028 17:22

Dress up as a diebold voting machine. The things they are doing to democracy are far more frightening.

990 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6028 18:44

soccerfuu9

991 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6028 19:31

While not normally commenting on security matters, Her Majesty's Government feels it is right and proper, in this instance, to make a statement on this affair. - Members of the Special Air Services involved in a covert anti-terrorist operation on the road at 8:42 this morning observed the chicken attempting to cross the road. As the chicken was approached by one of the soldiers involved, it was seen to make a threatening movement and action was taken to nullify that action. It has not been ascertained why the chicken was crossing the road, and it seems unlikely that we will now discover the motive.

992 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6028 21:52

Bread goes in, toast comes out. Witchcraft.

993 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6028 23:31

­

994 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6029 00:20

poo in a butt

995 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6029 02:59

wat

996 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6029 16:46

Life is nothing much to lose
It's just so lonely here without you

997 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6029 17:29

Lawyer: Objection
Judge: [Citation needed]
Jury: Speedy delete

999 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6029 18:47

super AIDS
oh hamburgers

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