( ˃ Д˂) MITTENS SUCK!
( ˃ Д˂) MODERATE CHRISTIANS USING NO-TRUE-SCOTSMAN ARGUMENTS WHENEVER THEY HEAR ABOUT CHURCH LEADERS SPOUTING THE KIND OF BULLSHIT THEY DISAGREE WITH!
( ˃ Д˂) SUFFRAGETTES LOOKING BAD BECAUSE OF CONTEMPORARY FEMINISM!
( ˃ Д˂) HAVING BAD DREAMS ALMOST EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK! THIS FUCKS UP MY SLEEP CYCLE AND MAKES ME GET TIRED TOO EASILY!
( ˃ Д˂) IT'S EIGHTY-FIVE FUCKING DEGREES IN THE SHADE, I LIVE ON THE NINTH FLOOR, COME HOME LUGGING FORTY POUNDS OF GROCERIES, AND THE FUCKING ELEVATOR IS OUT OF SERVICE!!
( ˃ Д˂) IT'S TOO BLOODY DIFFICULT TO BRAISE MEAT IN A PAN WITHOUT A PROPERLY FITTED LID!!
( ˃ Д˂) THAT IS IMPUDENCE!!!! U R SAYING IMPUDENCE 2 ME!
( ˃ Д˂) EXCUSE ME MOTHERFUCKER? DID YOU JUST USE NETSPEAK? WHAT THE SHIT!
( ˃ Д˂) THE PERSON NEXT TO ME IS BEING OBNOXIOUS AGAIN!
( ˃ Д˂) SOMEONE STOLE MY FUCKING SPIRIT TRACKS! SON OF BITCH THIEF!
THIEF IS PIG!
DO YOU WANTING FREE SHIT?!
DO YOU WANTING MY FUCKING HAPPINESS AND FUCKING SPIRIT TRACKS?!
NIGGER IS A MURDERER
FUCKING THEIF
I HOPE THAT WHOEVER STOLE IT DIES A PAINFUL DEATH ! FUCK THEM! FUCK THEM WITH A CHAINSAW!
( ˃ Д˂) I DON'T WANT TO INTOXICATE MYSELF!
( ˃ Д˂) I! WILL! KILL! THIS FUCKER IF HE DOESN'T STOP STOMPING AND DROPPING SHIT AT 4:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
( ˃ Д˂) I FUCKED UP THIS ASSIGNMENT!
( ˃ Д˂) Jeez-malaise, I lost DQN in my hundreds of tabs!
( ˃ Д˂) HE SAID HE'D STOP USING HIS TRIPCODE!
( ˃ Д˂) I WANT TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE
( ˃ Д˂) SOMEONE WANTS TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME
( ˃ Д˂) I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF MYSELF
( ˃ Д˂) AW OUCH MY JAW HURTS
( ˃ Д˂) I CANNOT FIGURE OUT WHAT THE SHIT WAS DOING IN >>718'S JAW TO BEGIN WITH!
( ˃ Д˂) I GOT BEAT UP TODAY!
( ˃ Д˂) I WANT TO MURDER THAT 13 YEAR OLD KID THAT KEEPS SHITTING UP /DQN/ AND SAOVQ! I'M SEEING RED AND MY FISTS ARE SHAKING! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
( ˃ Д˂) I WANT TO KNOW HOW >>721 KNOWS THE AGE OF OTHER POSTERS HERE, BUT GENERALLY AGREE THAT SHITPOSTERS NEED TO DIE A SLOW, AGONIZING DEATH!
( ˃ Д˂) MERLIN'S CURVY LASERS MAKE ME WANT TO FUCKING SHIT IN A CUNT GHSHAJGGJKDJKGKJHKJ
( ˃ Д˂) ESSAYS DON'T JUST GO AWAY AND NOT NEED TO BE WRITTEN IF YOU IGNORE THEM FOR LONG ENOUGH!
(;°Д°) MERLIN'S CURVY LASERS MERLIN'S CURVY LASERS MERLIN'S CURVY LASERS I CAN'T STOP SAYING THAT AAAAAAAAAAAUGH
( ˃ Д˂) SOMEBODY'S POSTING WITH THE WRONG FACE!
( ˃ Д˂) THIS REALLY SHOULDN'T ANNOY ME AS MUCH AS IT DOES!
( ˃ Д˂) IT ANNOYS ME TOO.
( ˃ Д˂) GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
( ˃ Д°) WHARRRGARBL
( ˃ Д˂) SLUTS AND WHORES!
( ˃ Д˂) MY VAGINA!
( ˃ Д˂) THERE ARE NO GIRLS ON THE INTERNETS!
( ˃ Д˂) THERE ARE SOME, BUT THEY'RE INSANE.
( ˃ Д˂) PEOPLE ACTUALLY THINK THERE ARE NO GIRLS ON THE INTERNET!
( ˃ Д˂) I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT A GIRL IS OR WHETHER I AM ONE!
( ˃ Д˂) CAN'T SIT IN PUBLIC WITHOUT PEOPLE TRYING TO STRIKE UP CONVERSATION. FUCK OFF, PLEBEIAN!
( ˃ Д˂) I CAN'T GO HOME FOR ANOTHER FIVE HOURS YET!
( ˃ Д˂) I'VE JUST GOTTEN HOME AND NOW I HAVE TO LEAVE AGAIN!
( ˃ Д˂) FUCK OFF, I DON'T WANT A FACEBOOK PROFILE!
( ˃ Д˂) FUCK OFF, I DON'T WANT YOUR GOOGLE+ EVENTS!!!
My captcha, appropriately, is rawbish.
( ˃ Д˂) LUCID DREAMING IS DIFFICULT!
( ˃ Д˂) STOP HONKING, YOU MORONS!! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR STUPID SOCCER GAME, AND I NEED TO BE UP IN FIVE HOURS!!!
( ˃ Д˂) STUPID FUCKING APPLE I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
( ˃ Д˂) I NEED TO FIX MY SLEEPING SCHEDULE BEFORE I BECOME COMPLETELY NOCTURNAL!
( ˃ Д˂) WHAT THE FUCK, QUEENSLAND GOVT!! SAME-SEX PARENTS ALREADY HAVE TO PROVE THEIR DEDICATION AND PASSION FOR PARENTING BY JUMPING THROUGH THE DOZENS OF BUREAUCRATIC HOOPS, AND NOW YOU WANT TO TAKE THEIR KIDS AWAY FROM THEM? http://www.starobserver.com.au/news/2012/06/28/three-year-jail-threat-for-gay-surrogacy/79974
( ˃ Д˂) SEXISM AND PEOPLE WITH "WHAT ABOUT TEH MENZ" MENTALITY!
( ˃ Д˂) IT'S 81 FUCKING DEGREES IN HERE, THE UNIVERSITY REVOKED $400 DOLLARS THAT HAD BEEN CONSIDERED PAID BEFORE WITHOUT TELLING ME, AND LIFE IN GENERAL IS OUT TO MAKE ME REGRET GIVING UP SUICIDE
( ˃ Д˂) I WENT TO GET SMOKES SO I COULD SHOOT SOME HEROIN, THE GUY WAS "GONE FOR 10 MINUTES" SO I LEFT
( ˃ Д˂) SOME RETARD THINKS YOU CAN SLEEP WITH YOUR WAIFU
( ˃ Д˂) SERIOUSLY, BOTH MY FLATMATES USED TO GO HOME FOR THE WEEKEND BY FRIDAY AFTERNOON AT THE ABSOLUTE LATEST! WHAT COMPELLED YOU TO STAY THIS TIME, WOMAN? WHY MUST YOU THUS FORCE ME TO WEAR CLOTHES IN THIS STIFLING HEAT WHENEVER I LEAVE MY ROOM?!
( ˃ Д˂) IDIOTS ON THE FLOOR BELOW ARE BARBECUING ON THEIR BALCONY!
( ˃ Д˂) AIR TEMPERATURE NOT HIGH ENOUGH FOR YOU ARSEHOLES?
Still, I suppose it lowers the humidity a little ...
( ˃ Д˂) BUT DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO MAKE ME SMELL DELICIOUS OILY MARINATED BBQ PORK WHEN I'M ON A DIET?!!
( ˃ Д˂) STUPID FRUIT FLIES; THOSE ARE MY SALAD ONIONS! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CRISPER!!
( ˃ Д˂) WHY IS IT ALWAYS 1993?
>>755
Because although AOL no longer has their own news servers, Eternal September continues thanks to Google Groups.
( ˃ Д˂) SOME PEOPLE ON DQN STILL DIDN'T KNOW THAT?!
>>759
( ˃ Д˂) JOKING ASIDE, IF YOU REALLY DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEN YOU SHOULD LURK AND READ THE ARCHIVES A LOT MORE BEFORE POSTING!
( ˃ Д˂) FUCKING HELL; I LURKED FOR SEVERAL MONTHS BEFORE POSTING ANYTHING AT ALL!
>>760
ARCHIVES? 4-ch has archives?
( ˃ Д˂) I AM VERY SORRY! WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?
>>761
Oh. Forgive me. I found it!
http://archives.4-ch.net/
( ˃ Д˂) I AM SORRY!
( ˃ Д˂) PEOPLE DON'T LURK, EVEN THOUGH IT'S MORE ENTERTAINING THAN POSTING!
( ˃ Д˂) IF YOU WANT TO TAKE AWAY MY TIME WITH HER, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT ME FOR IT.
( ˃ Д˂) THAT STUPID PART OF EVERY VAMPIRE NOVEL/FILM/WHATEVER WHERE THE PROTAGONIST HAS A LONG, EXPOSITORY NARRATIVE ON HOW THEIR VAMPIRES DIFFER FROM "IN THE MOVIES".
( ˃ Д˂) I HAVE TWO SONGS STUCK IN MY HEAD SIMULTANEOUSLY
( ˃ Д˂) HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE
( ˃ Д˂) I WAS JUST SNIPED ON EBAY BY SOMEONE BIDDING JUST ONE CENT MORE THAN MY MAX BID, HOW IS THIS FAIR OR EVEN POSSIBLE?!
( ˃ Д˂) IT'S NOT AS IF I PICKED A WHOLE DOLLAR AMOUNT OR EVEN A MULTIPLE OF TEN CENTS FFS!
( ˃ Д˂) MY WATER ISN'T RUNNING! MY WHOLE MORNING ROUTINE HAS TO BE PUT ON HOLD FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR!
( ˃ Д˂) WHY THE HELL IS IT THAT ``SCHEDULED MAINTENANCE'' IN ANY FIELD NEVER WORKS ACCORDING TO SCHEDULE?!
( ˃ Д˂) DAMN CAT ALWAYS DRINKS MY WATER
( ˃ Д˂) WHAT DO THE KHA'AK WANT?
( ˃ Д˂) I HAVE TO GO DO THINGS AGAIN!
( ˃ Д˂) WORK
( ˃ Д˂) YOU HAVE TWO DONGS STUCK IN YOUR ANUS SIMULTANEOUSLY
( ˃ Д˂) HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE
( ˃ Д˂) WHAT THE KHA'AK DO YOU WANT?
( ˃ Д˂) ALSO, WHY HAS MY CAPTCHA BEEN requation FOR THE PAST FIVE POSTS?
( ˃ Д˂) EXCEPT IT HASN'T, BECAUSE IT KEPT BEING MARKED AS INCORRECT AFTER THE FIRST TIME AND I HAD TO REFRESH CAPTCHA, ONLY FOR IT TO FLIP BACK TO requation AFTER THE POST HAD BEEN SUBMITTED!
( ˃ Д˂) LOOKING AT FOOD MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT RIGHT NOW
( ˃ Д˂) I CAN'T TELL IF ONE SIDE OF MY HEADPHONES IS BROKEN OR IF I'M JUST IMAGINING IT!
( ˃ Д˂) MY P8X32A MICROCONTROLLERS ARE STUCK IN CUSTOMS!
( ˃ Д˂) WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE A REST‽ IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR‽
( ˃ Д˂) WHY ISN'T THE INTERROBANG PART OF ASCII‽ SURELY THEY COULD HAVE LEFT OUT SOMETHING AS UNIMPORTANT AS ` INSTEAD!!
( ˃ Д˂) PEOPLE DON'T THINK THE LEFT SINGLE QUOTATION MARK CHARACTER IS IMPORTANT!
( ˃ Д˂) FUCK PRODUCTIVITY!
( ˃ Д˂) TIME PASSES TOO QUICKLY!
( ˃ Д˂) FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, THAT IS NOT A LEFT SINGLE QUOTATION MARK, YOU DUMBFUCK!
( ˃ Д˂) PEOPLE NOT RESPECTING MY TRANSDIMENSIONALITY
( ˃ Д˂) DIE, CIS SCUM! WE WILL NO LONGER BE REPRESSED!
( ˃ Д˂) NO YOU READ YOUR FUCKING ASCII
( ˃ Д˂) ANSI INCITS 4-1986 (R2007) CLEARLY MARKS THE 6/0 ENCODING WITH A DAGGER, STATING THAT IT SHOULD NOT BE USED IN INTERNATIONAL INTERCHANGE WITHOUT DETERMINING THAT THERE IS AGREEMENT BETWEEN SENDER AND RECIPIENT
( ˃ Д˂) THIS IS BECAUSE THAT PORTION OF THE ASCII STANDARD IS UNILATERALLY DIFFERENT FROM ISO 646 AND ISO 8859 WHICH COUNTRIES OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES USE OR HAVE COORDINATED STANDARDS TO
( ˃ Д˂) YOU ARE USING AN AUSTRALIAN SERVER ON A SITE SERVED IN THE SHIFT_JIS CHARACTER ENCODING WHICH WHEN POSTING GRACEFULLY DEGRADES TO HTML ENTITIES FOR UNICODE CHARACTERS SUCH AS THE ANGLE BRACKETS FOUND ON THE HANDSOME GENT TO THE LEFT OF THIS STATEMENT HENCE ASCII RULES DO NOT APPLY IN ANY WAY THAT MAKES SENSE
( ˃ Д˂) GO CHECK THE RELEVANT JIS AND ISO DOCUMENTS AND YOU WILL SEE NO SUCH DEFINITION OF 0x60 AS A LEFT QUOTATION MARK
( ˃ Д˂) THIS IS BEFORE WE GET INTO HOW TWO SINGLE QUOTATIONS MARKS DO NOT A DOUBLE QUOTATION MARK MAKE IN THIS ENCODING SCHEME
( ˃ Д˂) I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS ABOUT HOW YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ENCODING STANDARDS BUT THE FACT IS THAT NONE OF IT MATTERS AS LONG AS THE FONTS WE ARE EXPECTED TO USE WITH THIS ENCODING AND SHIFT_JIS ART IDIOM SUCH AS MS PGOTHIC AND MONAFONT REQUIRE US TO SEE YOUR OBNOXIOUS SEPARATE GRAVE ACCENTS AS SUCH INSTEAD OF AS THE LEFT QUOTATION MARKS YOU SOLIPSISTICALLY CLAIM THEM TO BE THUS OFFENDING THE GREAT TRADITION OF ENGLISH TYPOGRAPHY AS IT HAS BEEN PRACTICED SINCE THE MID-EIGHTEENTH CENTURY
( ˃ Д˂) BY THE WAY YOU ARE NOT FIT TO LICK THE BUNGHOLES OF THE MEN YOU CITE
( ˃ Д˂) WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS BROWN SHIT ON MY KEYBOARD AND WHERE IS IT COMING FROM‽
( ˃ Д˂) I'M UNDERSLEPT AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, DOG!
( ˃ Д˂) YOU MUST BE SOME SORT OF RETARD IF YOU THINK THE INTERNATIONAL STANDARDIZED PURPOSE FOR A GRAVE ACCENT IS LEFT SINGLE QUOTE THAT CAN BE DOUBLED FOR A DOUBLE QUOTE
( ˃ Д˂) AGAIN, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ENCODING STANDARDS
( ˃ Д˂) YOU ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF CHANGING KEYBOARD LAYOUTS BUT THROUGH YOUR FALLACIOUS SOPHISTRY REVEAL YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE: A COCKBITE WHO WOULD MUCH SOONER IMPINGE ON THE DELICATE SENSIBILITIES OF OTHERS THAN ADMIT YOU GAVE YOUR LEFT HAND TO SATAN AT A CROSSROADS IN 1987 AND NOW HAVE YOURSELF A LITTLE LEFT-QUOTE MURDERING LIABILITY
( ˃ Д˂) IT IS NOT EASIER TO TYPE UNLESS YOUR HAND IS POSSESSED SEEING AS IT IS NOWHERE NEAR THE HOME GODDAMN ROW
( ˃ Д˂) AND IF YOU GIVE ME SOME BULLSHIT ABOUT HOW YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME IN EMACS OR SOMETHING IT WILL ONLY COUNT AS EVIDENCE OF YOUR CONTINUED DEVIL WORSHIP AND IMPENDING REPETITIVE STRAIN INJURY BECAUSE HOLY SHIT EMACS IS RIGHT UP THERE WITH THE MODERN RECORDING INDUSTRY IN TERMS OF WAR CRIMES PERPETUATED BY INACTION ON THE PART OF THE UNITED STATES
( ˃ Д˂) D͡O͏ ҉N̷̕͜OT̵͢͜ ͜͏́E̷͞NA̕͠B͜L̡͘E̛ ͢LŲ̕C͟͏I̡F̢E̢R
( ˃ Д˂) FUCKING RAIN PREVENTING ME FROM GARDENING!
( ˃ Д˂) NOT BEING ABLE TO UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS TEXT ENCODING STUFF
( ˃ Д˂) AAAAAAAA!!!
( ˃ Д˂) DEAR PEOPLE WHO ARE OSTENSIBLY TRYING TO MAKE AN ENJOYABLE WEBCOMIC THAT ISN'T ABOUT YOUR FETISH:
( ˃ Д˂) PLEASE LEAVE YOUR FETISH OUT OF IT!
( ˃ Д˂) I KEEP GETTING THIS SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD BUT I CAN ONLY REMEMBER TWO LINES OF IT!
( ˃ Д˂) GETTING REALLY BAD HAY FEVER! AGAIN!
( ˃ Д˂) I JUST BURNT THE ONLY REMAINING FOOD IN MY HOUSE!
( ˃ Д˂) I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE END QUESTIONS WITH PERIODS