That foreign language program Grandpa and Junior are watching in the Beady Eyes thread is made up of machine-translated randomly chosen posts from randomly chosen threads from randomly chosen boards on 2ch.net. It usually takes three or four tries to find one that sounds interesting enough to use. I'm using this translator:

英語テキスト翻訳｜@nifty翻訳
http://honyaku-result.nifty.com/LUCNIFTY/text/text.php

I just wanted to post my technique in case someone else wanted to try it.