Lame Confessional [LAME] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5796 14:44

Today, I crossed the street in the middle. I did not check both ways.

101 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5846 09:30

...

I wasted a 100GET >_<

102 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5846 14:25

103 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5846 15:18

i don't visit dqn that often. at least the last 2 months.

104 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5846 16:35

>>103 we miss you

105 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5846 17:08

>672',1226517641)">>>672 is the only time I've ever pasted what I actually had copied.

106 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5848 07:14

I squee'd when someone pasted a post I made into a song thread, thus making my words lyrics in a future DQN smash hit.

107 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5848 09:04

Sometimes I wish I could be ravaged by older men and learn from their sexual experience.

108 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5848 16:00

I needed to type the universal quantifier symbol (∀) for my university discrete structures class and the first place I thought of to find it was DQN.

109 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5855 16:00

I twitched when reading >>106 because some ex-gf of mine used to say "squee" a lot. I still miss her.

110 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5874 20:25

My bumping of this thread is merely shameless self-promotion.

111 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5877 00:42

I submitted a song to my local college magazine, and we had to submit a short self-biography. I wrote: "He lured me to his domicile."

At least it was published!

112 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5877 01:57

I made out with a plush doll.

...and liked it.

113 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5895 04:03

I bumped this thread even though it has fallen off the front page. v_v

114 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5895 09:59

I only come to 4ch for DQN.

115 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5896 16:26

I made a 8-bit remix of "Don't say lazy", put it on Yotube and thoroughly enjoyed the warm feeling of seeing that someone commented "EPIC WIN!!". God, I'm pathetic.

116 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5896 19:27

Even though I'm for the legalization of marijuana, when I find out someone does drugs I lose all respect for them and I don't want to ever be around them or talk to them. A particular pet peeve of mine are people who "fall in love" with a girl because "SHE GOT TOTALLY STONED WITH ME AND IT WAS AWESOME"

I wish people like that could be shot.

117 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5896 22:23

>>116

I think you need to calm down a little. Yes; I admit typical stoner people are annoying, but you're far too uptight about such a silly thing.

Anyway, my lame confession for today is that I would very much like to hold a revolver to Rupert Murdoch and shoot him in all of his limbs over the course of an hour. Then I will walk away laughing as he slowly bleeds to death.

118 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5896 23:19

白人の人々はこれを読むことができない。

119 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5897 05:16

>>118

I'm pale as fuck and I just did!

Also I'm pale as fuck.

120 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5897 06:31

>>119

Bitch aint got nothing on me. I'm so fucking pale, I glow in the god damn dark. Seriously, my black friend liked to pretend that my arm was a light saber.

121 Name: ( * ヮ*) : 1993-09-5897 15:16

I blog about colonthree and I love it! :3

122 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5897 17:24

>>119,120 I think pale skin's hot. Definitely looks nicer than orange people.

123 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5899 03:12

>>122

lol, first thing I thought of when you said orange people were Oompa Loompas... Were there any female Oompa Loompas? I never read the book, and I haven't watched the original movie in a loooong time.

124 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5899 07:43

I was retarded and judging people like >>116 could be shot. I hate it when people just go ahead and assume all the shit they want to assume.

125 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5900 00:40

Sometimes, I write posts totally flaming people, then delete it when I realize that, no, actually, I agree with them completely.

126 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5900 00:49

Remembering how >>90 was stalking DQN, I couldn't resist imitating him, and I spent the last five minutes reading >>115's Twitter account. Sorry Kaitlin ;-;

127 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5900 03:10

I'm racist against the fictional Oompa Loompas.. i feel like they would probably be smelly, awful, greedy little people

128 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5900 16:36

JEWS

129 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5901 23:03

>>126 i just did that too haha. I love twitter!

130 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5902 22:14

>>126
I'm >>115 and I'm sorry to say you watched the wrong video. And I'll also lamely confess that now I'm envious of that Kaitlin. Dude got more comments and votes than me and people on DQN read his twitter instead of mine.

131 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5902 23:44

I fapped to straight shota a few minutes after having sent a love letter and now i feel filthy.

132 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5903 01:08

I snickered at >>130 for using male pronouns to refer to a female. Sorry for laughing behind your back, >>130.

133 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5903 09:26

Today I found out that Kaitlin is a female name and people had been laughing behind my back for that.

134 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5903 12:08

Last week I suggested Caitlyn as a nice girl's name for a baby to my fiancé... ignoring thefact she's a bit young for having kids yet

135 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5904 05:37

>>130
I had a feeling that I watched the wrong video before I posted but I still really wanted to post the lame confession in >>126 so I posted it anyway. How lame is that?

136 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5904 06:01

I really don't know what you all are talking about... Am i dumb?

137 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5904 11:27

I want to read >>130's twitter

138 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5905 00:23

i felt proud of myself for typing so legibly with my nose, though i feel kind of nauseous now

139 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5905 07:20

I lied about having a twitter. I'm sorry, >>137.

140 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5905 11:04

(゚д゚) I want >>139 to make a twitter so I can be friends with him

141 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5908 07:35

That foreign language program Grandpa and Junior are watching in the Beady Eyes thread is made up of machine-translated randomly chosen posts from randomly chosen threads from randomly chosen boards on 2ch.net. It usually takes three or four tries to find one that sounds interesting enough to use. I'm using this translator:

英語テキスト翻訳|@nifty翻訳
http://honyaku-result.nifty.com/LUCNIFTY/text/text.php

I just wanted to post my technique in case someone else wanted to try it.

142 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5908 18:44

>>141

I think I'll use this to write the lyrics to a song.

143 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5909 02:55

but... but... that one doesn't carry out and isn't w T_T

144 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5909 03:40

I had to refrain from posting on DQN for a while because I couldn't figure out how to use the "refresh captcha" function and the old one was bogus.

Also my new vc is "yieff" which reminds me of "yiff".

145 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5909 15:28

I hold my pee when I poop because if the yellow water splashes back at my ass I get zits full of puss and that one time I got one close to my asshole and for 3 days it was painful to poop and I had to spread my ass with my hands to poop normally

146 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5909 23:18

I actually feel sorry for Beady Eyes. A lot! He's really nice and funny, and now no one cares when he finally gets laid. Imagine, it's the first good thing that happened to him in weeks and no one cares! Slapstick Humor is okay, it's part of him to get hit by balls but.... I don't know... I don't want to see him hurt.

I also fear that people won't take this seriously, especially now that i wrote this. Meh.

147 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5909 23:38

Dude, he got skull-fucked!

148 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5910 00:37

>>146 He added me on facebook, he's really not nice. He went into all these memorial groups for little girls and hurled abuse at the mothers. He's banned now obviously. In terms of trolling it was pretty amazing, very well done, of course.

149 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5910 01:50

Well in my opinion that doesn't mean he's got to be a bad person in real life, err I mean DQN.

But i get your point...

I must confess that I started a discussion in a thread with a set theme for the posts.

150 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5910 04:27

My paper on lolicore that I'm writing for a college class might not be finished on time because I'm procrastinating by reading DQN.

151 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5910 04:45

>>150
Does that paper end with you saying "And that's why I was masturbating to drawings of seven year old girls, your honor."?

152 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5910 06:26

I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.

153 Name: 24.121.113.82.net.de.o2.com : 1993-09-5910 12:54

>>150

Hell yeah, lolicore! How about researching on last.fm, the lamest social networking site of the world?

Also, don't use loli ripe as an example. They're sellouts.

154 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5910 17:26

I have no idea what kind of college class >>150 could be attending. Is he kidding?

155 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5910 19:39

>>154 It could be an audio sort of course, write about a music genre or something. I had to write about the soundtrack to Harold & Maude by Cat Stevens

156 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5910 19:41

Today I made a schoolgirl wet with a dirty text

157 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5910 23:14

I ejacuated on my hand, then licked it up.

158 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5911 00:43

>>157

I do that basically every time I masturbate. Although, for me at least, thats not really a lame confession.

159 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5911 01:11

>>158 yes it is

160 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5911 03:29

I totally want a pet capybara or tapir, but don't want to put in the effort to be one of those intrepid pioneers who has to be one of those poor bastards trying to tame the first few generations of a new domestic breed of animal.

161 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5911 03:30

No-one ever pays me in gum....

162 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5911 13:28

>>153

>Also, don't use loli ripe as an example.

You have to at least mention loli ripe in a paper on lolicore.
Also >they
The more you know, I always thought it was just one dood.

163 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5911 21:09

I don't know what the fuck a lolicore is. I assumed it had something to do with raping little girls, but that doesn't seem to be the case?

164 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5914 17:19

i'm probably gonna have an affair with the best friend of the girl i love. i don't regret it because i still love her, i'm just nailing someone else. however, i feel really bad about not regretting it.

165 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5915 16:48

When she told me she loved me, my response was "..Okay".

166 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5915 17:33

>>160
Very few animals actually have the traits necessary for domestication. This is why people use horses instead of the clearly more excellent looking zebra.

167 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5915 21:19

>traits necessary for domestication

These would be?

168 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5915 21:42

(″・ิ_・ิ)っ-̾ So what, >>166? Most sufficiently non-endangered species have the traits necessary for domestication within the population, if only you can find the one retard that'd rather eat out of your hands than hunt or forage for it.

(″・ิ_・ิ)っ-̾ The real problem is that no human beings can spend the hundreds or thousands of years it would take to weed out the undesirable traits of particularly difficult species within their lifetime, even with modern selective breeding practices. Of course, that is assuming there will be no advances in our knowledge of manipulating the hereditary traits of animals, which is certainly absurd. You can't take everything you read in Guns, Germs, and Steel at face value, maannn.

(″・ิ_・ิ)っ-̾ ...

(″・ิ_・ิ)っ-̾ Like, wait a minute, this isn't my stogie. This is, like, the biggest doobie ever.

169 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5916 04:06

>>167
Well, if you must know, this puts it rather succinctly.
http://www.abc.net.au/animals/program2/factsheet1.htm

170 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5916 19:02

>>169
Counterpoint:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domesticated_silver_fox

(″・ิ_・ิ)っ-̾ so... I like, don't support the use of marihuana at all, but goodness gracious I feel alive.

171 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5917 04:02

>>170
I have always wanted one of those. Alas, it was not meant to be.

172 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5917 07:17

>>171

You know what I've always wanted as a pet? A quail. Those things are damn cute, produce some good(although small) eggs, and are like a cross between a chicken and dog/cat. Pretty low maintenance too.

173 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5918 16:37

I would like a pet human. She will wear a red collar and I will keep her chained up in the backyard. Of course I'll let her in to beg for table scraps and sleep at the foot of my bed in the winter. Naturally, she will be debarked as the females tend to be overly verbal.

174 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5919 10:44

I typically have no clue what's going on in dqn but I read it anyway.

175 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5920 15:44

   人     
  (__)    
  (__)   
 ( __ )    
 ( ・ิA・ิ) < My name is Squeeks and son I am disappoint
 (つ   つ 
 | | |     
 (__)_)

176 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5923 16:02

I'm surprised DQN actually uses teenage social networking sites and I feel somewhat left out.

177 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5923 20:40

>>176 I am an outgoing person with a lot of friends but I still post on DQN

178 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5925 00:59

DQN represents the whole of my social life.

179 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5925 08:10

I'm a friend with another DQNer in real life.

What are the chances?

180 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5925 08:49

I would rather type in an obsolete captcha and have to resubmit than wait for it to refresh.

181 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5925 20:53

>>179

5 in 6.8 billion, excluding every other factor that might be relevant.

182 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5928 17:42

It once came to me in a dream that my true father is Chuck Norris.

Now I have to live the rest of my life knowing I will never live up to it.

183 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5941 17:53

I just played a flash game called 'taylor swift makeover'.

I enjoyed it.

184 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5941 21:31

I don't know who Taylor Swift is.

185 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5941 22:19

>>184

Neither do I, although I think if I saw a picture of him/her I would recognize them.

186 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5942 00:21

I think music is extremely overrated.

187 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5942 16:46

I said I liked Taylor Swift and learnt one of her songs on guitar just to get into a girl's pants. It worked though.

188 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5942 19:31

I want a Japanese BBW for a girlfriend, but I feel like I never will find one.

189 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5942 21:49

>>188
Getting into the Japanese porn industry might be a good first step. There seems to be a large concentration of them there.

190 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5944 01:32

>>189 I thought the Japanese porno business hated gaijin.

191 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5944 13:45

>>190 They're starting to like gaijin now, actually.

But mostly if you're American and a girl.

192 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5944 14:11

>>191 Then it is time for me to become transgender and then be a lesbian.

193 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5944 18:45

>>192 I've been seriously looking into that for months. If it weren't so expensive I'd do it.

194 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5945 20:44

>>192 There is no such thing as a lesbian in the porn industry.

195 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5946 03:21

>>191
They're also fond of African American males, it seems.

196 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5948 01:06

>>195 I guess I should tell them I have Micheal Jackson's disease

197 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5948 10:33

I have nothing to contribute to the ctrl-v thread as I have nothing on my clipboard.

198 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5949 07:11

I have nothing to contribute to this thread because >>197 posted my confession.

199 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5949 19:34

( ˃ ヮ˂) wktk!

200 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5949 20:52

ttp://filthy-h.blogspot.com/2009/12/matazure-tengoku-shameless-sick-incest.html

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