Lame Confessional [LAME] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5796 14:44

Today, I crossed the street in the middle. I did not check both ways.

701 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6618 04:19

I'm the guy who does the "VORUDEMOTO" bumps.

vc: low

702 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6618 12:03

I post a lot about my life here.

703 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6618 23:10

I checked out other boards for a change and I saw a whole new world.

704 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6621 23:46

I want to become a Wikipedia sysop!

705 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 00:05

My past is more exciting than I tend to think it has been.

706 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 00:32

I just spent 3 hours watching nyan cat videos.

707 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 05:39

I've lost control of my life.

708 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 13:16

I've spent the last three weeks of my life playing Monster Hunter Tri. I've only made it to HR 48, but I'm not going to stop there.

709 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6628 01:57

You guys are the only friends I have anymore.

And half of you hate my guts half the time.

710 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6639 08:26

I threw up in a rice field, threw a beer can in it and drove home extremely drunk the other night.

711 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6675 03:36

i stopped in the middle of masturbating with 20 different porn sites open to come and make this post here.

712 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6675 07:10

I haven't posted here in ages.

I came crawling back.

713 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6675 09:40

>>709
I don't have real friends. I feel the same way.

Also I've been using this place to talk about myself because it is the only persistent medium I have for doing so. On one hand I don't like cluttering up DQN with my shit but on the other I'm glad there are people who understand and support me in such a small corner of the internet.

714 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6675 09:59

I've turned DQN into one huge lame confessional thread. I'm the worst...

715 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6713 15:44

Back in the day, when I used to browse THAT PLACE a lot, I got into loli. I used to worry that I was going to be a pedo for life, but now I realize the girls I was guiltily masturbating over weren't too far from my own age. As I grew older, loli lost their appeal.

On the one hand, I'm glad I didn't turn out to be a pedophile. On the other hand, I secretly miss that juicy arousal I was once able to achieve so easily just by reading loli doujin. In fact, H-manga in general just feels too distant from reality these days.

716 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6713 15:56

>>715
I'm still a paedophile. ;-;

717 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6713 21:33

I feel like the people on DQN and SAOVQ are the best friends I've ever had, but I'll never know any of them. This makes me sad.

718 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6713 22:55

>>717
Same to you, pal.

719 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6713 23:19

>>715
H-manga is by virgins for virgins after all.

720 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6718 07:34

I honestly prefer using aptitude to synaptic.

721 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6718 16:39

Last night, I actually got somewhat of a high from reading about IUPAC organic chemistry nomenclature.

722 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6718 20:54

My iPod is full of songs I don't actually like. The only reason why I got them in the first place was because they had become a meme on Nico Nico Douga.

723 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6718 22:31

I dislike this thread but feel the urge to say something about myself every time it comes up.

724 Name: ( ˃ ˂) : 1993-09-6718 23:46

I keep my DQN Electronics in a separate playlist so I can turn scrobbling off when I listen to it.

725 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6719 00:36

>>724 awww that's no fun, i like to read up on people who scrobble dqn tracks

726 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6721 01:02

I say that I'm a NEET online because it's too shameful to admit that I'm actually a full-time student that holds a part-time job with a girlfriend of 8 months.

727 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6721 08:07

I say that I'm a full-time student that holds a part-time job with a girlfriend of 8 months because it's too shameful to admit that I'm actually a full-time worker that studies when he has time with a girlfriend of 9 months.

728 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6722 02:28

I mentally read "ITT" as "in this topic."

729 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6722 08:01

I'd her socks.

730 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6737 23:29

It makes me sick to my stomach to see "of" written where "'ve" or "have" is meant.

731 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6744 22:51

I use the like/dislike buttons on YouTube videos to affect future suggestions, not as a display of whether I liked the video or not.

732 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6745 14:21

People that post in threads with sage when DISPLAY_ID is false make me angry. If you don't like a thread, don't post in it. If you don't think your comment is good, don't post it. Seriously, people. It's not a difficult concept, is it? Sage isn't some magical tool that'll make a thread go away! If you post a comment worth anything at all, someone's bound to reply to it, and chances are that he won't use sage, or the person that replies to him won't, or a person replying both of your posts won't. ARGH!

733 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6745 14:49

>implying sage isn't magical and doesn't make 4-ch a magical place

734 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6745 16:51

>>733
Who are you quoting?

735 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6745 17:42

>implying that the proper pronoun isn't "whom"

736 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6745 17:43

Please stop doing that. Remember what website you're on, or, more specifically, what website you aren't on.

737 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6745 20:08

>implying that people shouldn't ever post things they are slightly afraid to post

738 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6745 21:24

>>737
That gets annoying after awhile, you know?

739 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6746 00:11

>implying that not every one of us are 4channelers to the core.

740 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6746 01:05

Dont' worry. He'll go back there soon enough. It's the only place he belongs anyway.

741 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6746 01:39

Yesterday I jaywalked in front of a cop car.
Fuck the police.

742 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6746 02:26

>>741
I got a ride in the backseat of a cop car once. The trunk was filled to the brim with shotguns.

The suspension was really nice.

743 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6746 02:54

>>742 I had to ride in the backseat of a cop car. I was being taken to the psych ward of the hospital.

744 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6746 03:00

>implying greentext isn't the new meme

745 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6746 12:53

Dear DQN, I participated in this ">implying" affair. I don't think it was a right thing to do.

746 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6746 14:00

i slept for 12 hours

747 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6746 15:05

I have anger issues...

748 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6747 00:08

>>743
I was handcuffed in the backseat of a cop car after being arrested back in high school. True story.

749 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6747 00:20

I was handcuffed in the back of a police car once for vandalising a local supermarket, and they searched me, she asked if i had anything dodgy in my pockets first and I said no, no i don't, then she found a bottle of amyl nitrate in my pocket and was like "hmmm what's this for?" and i said it's to get a headrush, but it's legal, it's legal! and she said "hmmm what do YOU use it for?" suggesting I liked to take it up the bum, which I didn't at that point in my life. I was quite wasted on various drugs and they said "are you on something, you seem quite spacey" and I got away with it by saying hmmm i'm normally quite spacey or so my friends say, it's just the way I am. Also I pissed myself 10 minutes before I was arrested.

750 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6747 01:30

I invaded private propierty.

751 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6747 01:39

>>746
That's not lame, I do that all the time.

752 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6769 08:55

My first martial arts instructor was named--and I swear to god I am not making this up--Jim Kirk.

753 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6769 13:06

I have a problem with using my charm and good looks to lure most girls I meet. But relationships are repulsive to me. Sometimes I just enjoy their affectionate advances. Other times I'm bored.

My friends tend to envy me this. I see it as just another skill - of which I have many.

754 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6769 13:51

>>753-san's post makes me bitter, but only because I have an inferiority complex and can't accept other people being good at things without being all misanthropic about it.

755 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6775 22:15

Despite the best efforts of documentary film makers, 20th century history is dreadfully boring me at best.

756 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6776 06:59

I used to draw a shitty comic of vulgar jokes. At first the characters were called Butt-head and Dorkus. But then I decided that Butt-head sounded too reminiscent of Beavis and Butt-head, and found out that "Dorcas" is a real (albeit old-fashioned) GIRL's name that sounds just like "Dorkus". So Butt-head became Ass-head and Dorkus was renamed to Peter F. Dick (who was also going to have an uncle called Harry Dick, but I never got around to actually writing him in...)

I also named my half-orc in Angband "Dick Halflong" once during a late-night sleep deprivation session. It kind of became a tradition for me, and as characters die a lot in that game, I got up to like Dick Halflong XIV or thereabouts.

757 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 17:35

Whenever I watch a live-action movie these days, I tend to get dreadfully bored within minutes. I suspect that all these years of watching moeblob anime have ruined me for looking at real, non-exaggerated human facial expressions.

758 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 23:43

I started to learn Japanese eight years ago, all so I could enjoy untranslated eroge. In hindsight it was so not worth the effort

759 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 02:09

>>758
Are you able to read them now at least? I started to learn Japanese eight years ago too, but then my studies slowed way down four years in, and I still can't read. I am a failure.

760 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 03:21

>>758,759
Are you both early-to-mid-twenties who began learning it as a young teenager? I ask because I, too, tried learning around eight years ago, at which time I was fourteen. This would seem like the common age for intelligent otaku to take a stab at the language.

I still can't read it either, however :/

761 Name: >>759 : 1993-09-6781 05:05

>>760
We share a nautical vessel. You and I are the same age.

762 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 05:11

I started in middle school, personally (age 13). While I originally did it for the eroge, I have actually ventured out into reading more mundane/useful things over the past 11 years....

I can read (not write) about 1000 kanji fairly well now. My grammar will be awful forever. I kind of half-assed the studying, you know?

If the whole programming thing doesn't work out, I do have a shot at translating vidya gaems.

763 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 07:37

>>759,760
It seems I'm older than >>760,762. I seriously started at age 19, though I did make some half-hearted attempts before then. Currently I can read some 1400 kanji, and write maybe 900 without a reference. I'm still a college undergrad, but having Japanese as major subject helps me not be too half-assed about it. It does have the disadvantage of having to write boring essays about the economic history of tiny villages in Aomori, though. The biggest grammar problem I struggle with is matching politeness registers inappropriately to the situation.

764 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 14:11

>>763 I started learning when I was 19 as well but I only did it for a year and then my Japanese teacher lost her job and had to go back to Japan. It was heartbreaking, she was a lovely jolly little lady and she started crying in class. So I only really know hiragana and katakana and very basic vocabulary, which I'm forgetting because I haven't studied in 3 years. Which is a shame but I don't have the time...

765 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 20:58

Every time I spot a translation error in a fansubbed anime/drama, I get the urge to send a correction to the translator. But since most of the stuff I watch was aired and translated several years ago, I figure nobody would give a damn about my corrections anymore, even if I did have a way of contacting the fansubbers. And so the error remains uncorrected, and deep inside I feel guilty for not speaking up.

766 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6782 19:00

I self-consciously insert Americanisms into my speech whenever I post on a US-dominated online forum, even though I've never spent more than two weeks in the United States and find it frankly distasteful.

767 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6782 19:58

>>766
I do this too. The problem is that people insist on pointing out whenever you use a Commonwealth spelling or idiom, but never when you use American speech. I suppose it's understandable given that these sort of sites are predominantly American, but you'd think people would be more tolerant or at least get bored of pointing out you put a "u" in "colour".

768 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6783 12:50

I cheated at "pin the tail on the donkey" at my fifth birthday party.

769 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6783 15:33

Whenever I see a highly-rated YouTube comment saying "Thumbs up if condition foo is met", I vote it down. I don't like random strangers telling me what to do.

770 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6783 16:09

>>769 there are certain imperative statements on the Internet I am willing to tolerate, but I will never oblige those. Another one I will never oblige is the single word "Elaborate." Yes, what I said was fancy, also get off your retarded high horse if I wanted to say more I would say more; maybe if you were polite about it I might, but ah-ah-ah you didn't say the magic word.

whoops I think I mistook this thread for a chat thread my bad

771 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6783 16:10

>>769 I do that too. And "x people didn't y" in regards to the number of dislikes on a video. Youtube memes in general.

772 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6784 20:26

>>769,771 Yup, same here. Idiot thumb-whoring is pathetic. The only one I ever voted up was something like "Thumbs up if... You know what? Never mind. 'Thumbs up if' comments suck.".

>>770
See also: "Discuss.".

773 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6784 20:44

I kind of liked the Uwe Boll Bloodrayne movie (the first one, I haven't seen the follow-ups.)

It may have helped that I'd not yet played the game when I saw it, of course.

774 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6784 22:29

Speaking of Uwe Boll, every time I go to the local video rental I have to force myself to ignore the Postal movie on the shelf. One day, I need to research just how much revenue a director gets from a single DVD rental. Maybe then my internal conflict will be negotiated to a satisfactory conclusion.

775 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6785 12:12

>>769
Obviously it's the younger generation and I'm willing to forgive them for that (I doubt I was better at 14), but I hope the Internet as a whole outgrows it.

Makes me wonder if similar things happened when other means of communication were invented. It must have taken a lot of bickering and oh-for-fuck's-sake-give-it-a-rest before things like written communication became what they are today.

776 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6785 23:27

>>769
Whenever I see a comment like that, I vote it up. I secretly hope that somebody "loses it" and assaults somebody else AFK in a feat of rage. I dream about this headline in the morning news: "A dork kicked two butts over a silly youtube comment, before getting his ass whooped by a jock."

These dreams of schadenfreude make sifting through comments more or less tolerable.

I also made a few "arrow in the knee" jokes and rather successfully upset a bunch of "arrow in the knee" haters with a "sword through the chest" variations.

>>775
It only goes downhill from there.
I'd rather avoid reading "written communication" between two youngsters. Amateur radio has its share of pirates and people who can't get it right (however, it's a rather strict community). Phone pranks are increasingly more popular as recording tools, sound boards and other things become more and more accessible. And, well, the Eternal September.

777 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6786 08:25

I don't read anything Espeon posts.

778 Name: fuck off espeon : 1993-09-6786 10:28

I posted with this name. Again.

779 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6786 11:41

>>777,778
I take my joy in your suffering.

780 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6786 13:33

I must admit I feel a bit sorry for her. How much do you have to hate yourself before you begin trolling a place like DQN?

781 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6786 14:31

>>780
Who knows.

782 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6786 15:56

>>780
Some people don't deserve sympathy.

So as not to be entirely off topic, my lame confession is that I overuse semicolons.

783 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6786 17:57

I felt relieved that DQN still has people who can understand my point of view, like >>780 did!

Wouldn't be able to do much without anyone's support actually.ww

784 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6786 20:35

and that's why we will hunt down the collaborators, and send them to the Island of Perpetual Tickling

785 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6787 01:56

I overuse em dashes.
Perhaps this is a good thing since ASCII/keyboards don't have a dedicated dash and people seem to have forgotten they exist.

786 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6787 07:08

>>785
Yes \ you're doing a good thing`.

787 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6787 10:29

Every time I read a Cracked.com article and a smile passes over my face, I imagine a frat boy giggling at the exact same lines and feel bad about my amusement. I guess the Elitist Superstructure really is the perfect place for someone as snooty as me.

788 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 17:25

I can extrude hair, but I can't retract it.

789 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 18:54

I come off as intelligent and witty online, but without immediate access to Google I am nothing.

790 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 19:08

>>789
Don't people become suspicious about your response times to certain messages? If I noticed a consistent delay followed by an erratic, too-quick typing rate I might start to wonder what could initially be taking so long.

791 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 19:37

>>790
I rarely do real-time communication these days, but people are more forgiving of a minute delay in IRC or MSN than they would be over the phone or in real life. You might have less time to look something up between chatting, but on the plus side people don't expect you to type up a ten paragraph essay either.

Of course with email and message boards, it's easy to write long posts making yourself look knowledgeable about anything.

792 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 19:48

IRC is the best form of communication

793 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6793 22:20

I find XKCD to be unfunny.

794 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6793 22:50

I'm 21 and I threw out my back today cutting down thorn bushes with swords.

795 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6794 01:08

I unironically enjoyed High School Musical.

796 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6794 05:36

DQN would eventually lose itself in the recesses of my memory if it were not the browser home page.

797 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6794 10:04

>>795
I've lied and told everyone who has asked whether I've seen it that I actually have, only so that they can talk about it while I enthusiastically agree instead of creating the awkward, disappointed silence which follows a lack of awareness of something one holds dear.

798 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6794 13:27

I feel guilty bumping threads after several consecutive sages.

799 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6796 20:38

I could not get the >>800 GET.

My captcha for this post was, fittingly, inane

800 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6796 22:56

>>799
Don't you just feel wawten?
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