Lame Confessional [LAME] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5796 14:44

Today, I crossed the street in the middle. I did not check both ways.

440 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6267 20:53

( ´ω`) My robot says "Beep boop" instead of beeping.

441 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6267 21:07

I think I may be a sociopath.

442 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6268 09:17

I don't like fiction, because I'm literal-minded and it feels like reading a lie.

443 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6272 03:43

>>292 somehow reminds me a little of a certain character from Wings Of Honneamise.

444 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6272 03:46

>>443 All I remember about that was cool planes, a launching rocket, and a lot of boredom.

445 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6272 12:22

I have a box of ripped tights I've kept from girls who put them in my bin

446 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6272 15:06

>>444 must not be my kind of person, then.

447 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6272 21:49

I apparently had an e-stalker that has been tricking me into thinking that I was talking to somebody who I used to think was important.

448 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6272 23:07

After about 150 pages, I finally admitted to myself that I had absolutely no interest in Crime and Punishment and promptly returned it to the library. I feel kind of pathetic for not being able to finish a book, but at the same time, I do not feel that forcing myself to read it would have been worthwhile, and it was preventing me from starting one of many books that I might actually enjoy reading, so fuck it, in the pile it goes.

449 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6272 23:23

I left something easy until the last minute.
Needles to say, I had the last laugh.

450 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6272 23:34

I'm going to use >>449's post in a song I'm writing

451 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6272 23:35

needles

452 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6273 10:03

I can't watch someone die without feeling queasy anymore...

453 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6277 21:14

I've been mentally ill for most of my life, and I feel guilty about that.

454 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6279 16:07

I feel not the least bit of guilt about >>453's mental illness. Hmm. Should I feel guilty about not feeling guilty?

455 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6280 19:01

On those rare occasions where I visit 4-ch, I post in as many different DQN threads as possible. By now, the DQN front page should consist entirely of threads whose last post was mine.

456 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6280 19:22

I had a dream in which I found a nine week old kitten in my apartment living room. It was busily ripping apart a cat toy. When I reached out to pet it, it swung at me and hissed. Then it sat up unnaturally straight on its hind legs, and hopped like a cartoon rabbit behind the couch and I woke up.

I think this means I made >>453 mentally ill with my dangerous brain powers.

457 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6281 00:08

ゆっくリしていてね！！！

458 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6281 00:44

This is a very serious problem. Ever since I could walk I have been unable to put on pants. I have always been outcasted and chided for not being able to wear anything other than shorts. I am now moving to Massachusetts where it will be very cold and I don't think I will be able to continue to wear shorts. Please give me any tips or tricks that you use to put on pants. Thank you.

459 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6281 04:30

I have pretty much average height and I am kind of ambivalent about it.

460 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6281 06:41

http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1263299242/ is tanasinn

461 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6281 15:24

I like my girlfriend sitting on my face while she's on her period

462 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6281 21:40

I also like >>461's girlfriend sitting on my face while she's on her period.

463 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6282 04:11

DQN is not funny. Somebody deleted my post.

464 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6282 05:00

>>463 is banned for being a self-centered whiner.

465 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6282 06:12

I want to find people who post things in the wrong threads and interrogate them for roughly an hour.

466 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6285 04:35

Sometimes I get confused between Beady Eyes and Clonepa

467 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6289 02:10

ゲイマジック永遠に

468 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6293 11:06

I went to Yoshinoya with my family, and I ordered the extra-large with extra sauce, just because it was 150 yen off. Can >>1 ever forgive me?

469 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6293 12:30

I pretty much just use the CTRL+V thread to post things that are slightly amusing yet depressing, soberly aware that it's a dangerous vector to them possibly becoming kopipe and hurting other people's feelings.

I do it because I am a slightly amusing yet depressed individual.

470 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6293 14:20

I don't really love her, I just say it because I don't want to hurt her.

471 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6293 15:00

>>470
You'll only end up hurting her more in the end.

472 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6293 22:20

And when >>471 says "in the end," he means "in the butt."

473 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 14:37

('A`) I've accidently ate some maggots.

474 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 16:17

I just poked myself in the eye with my thumb, entirely by accident.

475 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6295 19:54

I sabotage my life with my pessimism.

476 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 02:29

>>473 I've accidentally licked up dog's blood... and it was pretty nice actually

477 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 14:16

I'm kind of gay for a guy I met on Thanksgiving.

478 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6296 15:34

>>442

I like reading fiction if it explores a real-life problem, or if it involves reconstructing theories. Where's history gonna go if we can't think ahead before it happens?

479 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 03:44

I'm so embarrassed to fart in public, I have developed a method of letting out farts in a slow, gradual way, so that no one notices until I'm long gone.

480 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 04:08

>>479 does it not depend on the present company? I wouldn't fart in front of my girlfriend but me and my friends sometimes go to local farting competitions

481 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 18:08

Are the farts ever wet?

Do you guys have a panel of judges that rate the farts, or does everyone vote or what?

482 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 18:09

>>480
I once had a girlfriend who made a point of farting louder than I ever could.

483 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 18:24

>>481 it's a local thing, not exactly annually but we often get together. It's really just an excuse for everyone to get drunk afterwards, but there is a proper panel of judges, just local well-known personalities

It's personal style really, I know a few people come from the "wetter the better" school of thought. Me, I go for dry loudness. I wouldn't say this if it wasn't anonymous but, my secret has been stretching my bumhole slightly as a result of masturbating with a marker pen in my bum.

captcha: klefe

484 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6310 20:40

I am pretty disturbed by the above conversation, kinda shy about it but not gonna lie.

485 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6311 10:27

Despite my experience in assfucking, recieving partners have never felt the need to expell trapped gas while being penetrated, much to my dissapointment.

486 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6311 10:34

Don't worry, 485-san! One day you'll have a partner who'll expel as much gas as you desire while you fuck them in the ass.

487 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6311 22:59

I so rarely have anything in my clipboard that's fit to share, when I do I get all excited and hurry to paste it in the Ctrl-V thread.

488 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6314 02:11

I pulled out and jizzed on my girlfriend's stomach, then went down on her to finish her off. When she came she jerked up and I got a glob of my own semen all over my face.

489 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6314 05:13

>>488
Reminded me that I'm going to die alone.

490 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6314 12:55

I like to blow up used condoms and make bukkake balloons, which I then threaten to pop over my girlfriend's face. I wonder if there's a porn site idea in there somewhere.

491 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6314 22:41

A heroin addict asked me if I had £1 so he could go to the morgue to pick up his dead daughter. I didn't give him the money but I hope the story was true this time.

492 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6314 23:23

>>488
Reminded me what it's like to lick my own semen off her chest.

493 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6315 00:26

I find the idea of sex disgusting.

494 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6315 02:21

Sometimes I worry that I make other dokyuns depressed by talking glowingly about my love life. I don't mean to rub it in, I'm sorry! There's someone out there for you if you look :)

495 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6315 10:35

I am a fucking retard.

496 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 01:32

Having 2 girls going at the same time has halved my happiness, not doubled it.

Why did I ever even think of coming here, with full knowlege of what'd happen? At least my Dwarf Fortress is going well.

497 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 03:35

>>496
Knowing the consequences of passion does fuck-all for stopping what you do under its influence. I would know!

Speaking of, I could never help thinking about my ex despite having plans to move in with the girl I'm currently dating but, well, not really in love with.

Two days ago I got all euphoric over her, reminiscing about everything we did together as I absent-mindedly jotted it all down in my journal - which only made me more lovesick. Last I heard she was working a new job and living with some dude, said she was happy and such. I had refrained from interfering, thought I'd let her move on and such.

Call it selfishness; I shoot a friendly email, ask how things are going, tell her I'm just "checking up". Today I get a reply. Says he left her, she got fired, she's all alone and isn't happy at all.

I know it would be horrible, absolutely terrible to ditch my relationship and go for the rebound. I really want to.

498 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 06:45

>>497 Hey me too kind of. I am madly in love with my girlfriend and see myself living my life out with her happily, but I did send my ex a text on her birthday... I just thought to be nice since it was her 16th and all, kind of a special one.

499 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 13:32

>>497
You should show her you still care and see how things go from there.

500 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6317 17:18

>>498
Good! Stay happy :3

>>499
I did. I wish I had a life to distract me from girls but I don't and I'm letting this eat me up. C'est la vie, no?

501 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6325 15:38

DQN advises me on personal relationships.

502 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6325 18:55

>>500
Oh... I'm afraid I'm in a similar position and can't help. Sorry ( ｀Д´)

503 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6325 20:17

I wish that I could kill some of you people with my hate.

504 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6325 21:32

Strike me down with all of your hatred, >>503!

505 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6325 22:37

Don't do it! He'll become stronger than you can imagine!

506 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6326 00:38

Man, I can imagine some pretty strong things....

507 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6326 01:05

The main reason I love my girlfriend is she lets me lick her menstrual blood, that's a rare find.

I wrote a song about it called "I Love You Because You Let Me Lick Your Periods"

508 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6326 01:13

>>507
I'm sure it's a beautiful song. ( ・ω・)

509 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6326 06:45

>>507
I would love to have that sung to me.

510 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6326 20:06

>>507
excuse me while I throw up forever

511 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6328 02:26

I often think there's people watching me or monitoring my thoughts, so I do tricks and thing to try and impress them like throwing my hat up and catching it without looking. It's only more recently that I've noticed how often and how long I've done this for, pretty much all my life, without thinking anything of it.

512 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6328 03:33

Pull back the covers, count the bloodstains that we find
Some are yours, and some of them are mine
I bet this isn't really what you had in mind
When I said "Let's leave some memories behind"

I love you because you let me lick your periods
It's partly why I wanna be gettin' serious
I love you because you let me lick your periods
But I'll still be in love when your pipes are runnin' dry

[second verse required]

[chorus]

[melodica solo]

[chorus]

[outro]

513 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6328 19:43

I'm 21 years and have never worked a single day in my life.

514 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6328 20:53

>>513
I'll be 21 in 30 days. I've never had a job either.

515 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6328 22:39

I'm considerably younger and have worked quite a few days in my life.

It's overrated.

516 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6328 23:53

I am afraid of being molested by women.

517 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6329 03:16

I have decided to start maining Kagura in JUS after I saw this one person using Kagura to beat two Dio users.

518 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6329 04:56

I changed my name for a couple of fights to "USA#1" in a japanese fighting game and beat everybody I was fighting with an over powered character.

519 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6329 19:01

I claim to be a pro gamer, but I just watch LP's and have only played 2-3 good video games.

520 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6330 01:56

>>519
I watch TASes and then find my own game play to be super inadequate.
Then I cry.
Then I cry with joy when I destroy the first boss on Sonic 3 in 6 seconds with the fire shield.
Then I drown on the next stage.
Then I cry some more.

521 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6330 02:05

I can't remember my mum or dad's birthdays, but I can remember hidden combos, cheats and special moves in obscure games for Megadrive, NES, Sega Saturn and PS1, plus the order of the first 251 pokémon, as well as what level most of them evolve at.

522 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6330 02:05

I also always spell pokémon with the "é", but not a capital letter because I wouldn't spell "animal" with a capital letter.

523 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6330 05:16

>>522
使用して「ポケモン」
aposkaonopaksopak

524 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6330 17:01

I never bothered to learn any kanji

525 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6330 17:33

I like feeling stupid and loving but I hate that I'm forcing myself to be this way.

526 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6330 22:16

I can almost sing the "crazy like a fool" part of Daddy Cool without any pitch shifting. Almost.

527 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6399 21:00

I must admit that I tried to use an imageboard today and I got really enraged when somebody replied with a stupid remark and dull image macro... to someone's else post.

528 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6399 22:18

>>527 （・∀・） u r gay

529 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6400 06:17

I am an fish.

530 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6401 00:21

>>527
Eww. Imageboards are vile things.

531 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6401 00:35

>>530
That's true. I must admit that I tried to create my own image macro and get in that virtual fight, but it went wrong. I'm going to stay SJIS for the rest of my life.

532 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6413 00:06

I like to add a space before Alt+19 and pretend that I leave in J-RPG world ‼..

533 Name: shame!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6413 00:08

And I don't even proofread my own posts. Oh, that stupid "leave" always taking the place of "live" ‼

534 Name: Brandy Bogard!fi.Jek4HW6!!gGKYHXFO : 1993-09-6413 23:58

>>530 thats why 99 exists

535 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6414 00:44

>>534 it must be vile as well. I'd go to ttp://jun.2chan.net/b/ if I'd need some images for myself

536 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6414 00:46

I must admit that I'm quite stocked after thoughtless days of my youth. Oh well, I just made myself feel old and tired.

537 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6416 06:03

I used to not like *pa threads. Now they are all I live for.

538 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6420 23:06

A really lovely girl just text me saying "your so amazing" but rather than say thanks and chat with her i said "You mean 'you're' xxx"

539 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6421 00:57

>>538
That sounds about right.
I'd expect nothing less from a dokyun.

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