( ・ω・) Hello everyone! My name is Clonepa.

( ・ω・) So I had myself specially injected with cancerous cells, and guess what? It worked!

( ・-・) You dumbfuck, that wasn’t you. That was a narcotic painkiller they injected me with in the burn ward. Stop making shit up.

( ・ω・) It's not cancer? What are these lumps all over me then?

( ・ω・) When do I get to smoke some medicinal marijuana for this cancer? Will those lumps ever get so big that I can't get through the front door of the weed store?

( ・ω・) I have opened PILLS!

( ・-・) MY SYSTEMIC SHITDOWN™ BENZOS! YOU FUCKER!!! I WAS SAVING THOSE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

( ・ω・) That would explain the pile of my guts on the ground, yes. I sort of shoved them out of the way.

OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME ( ・-}・ω・) Hello everyone! My name is Clonepa.

( ・}・ω・)

(}・ω・)

( ・ω・) I feel strange.

( ・ω・) Like I can do anything... but I want to do nothing.

( ・ω・) I have this urge to mess up someone else's story for some reason.

( ・ω・) But I won't. That would be mean.

∩ ∩
( ・ω・) On the other hand, it'd be fun to ruin someone else's good time.

( ・ω・) ...I have to poop. But I don't have a butt.

( ・ω・) I have no butt and I must poop!

( ・ω・) That was a Harlan Ellison reference, kids!

( ・ω・) He writes a lot of Star Wars books!

　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　clik　　　 　∧＿∧ 　　　　
/　　/ 　　| |　　　　　　　+　◇⊂（・ω・　 ヽ　I don't like the new clonepa... Yet!
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿||　　　　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　|;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　|l─────‐l|'

-eady Eyes is missing. Again, for anyone who might
even remotely care, annoying comic foil Beady Eyes is-
￣￣Ｖ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　clik　　　 　∧＿∧ 　　　　
/　　/ 　　| |　　　　　　　+　◇⊂（・ω・　ヽ　That's enough news for today.
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿||　　　　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　 |;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　|l─────‐l|'

( ・-・) Phew! That was a narrow escape.

( ・-・) I'm not going to tell you how I did it, so don't ask.

( ・ω・) ...who are you again?

( ・ω・) ...and HOWDIDYOUDOIT HOWDIDYOUDOIT HOWDIDYOUDOIT?

( ・-・) I'm going to have to ask you to shut the fuck up now.

( ・ω・) okay.

( ・-・)

( ・ω・) alright

( ・-・)

( ・ω・) you win.

　|∧_∧
　| ~ω~)　めるぽ
　||と ノ

( ・ω・) I'm best friends with u ♪

( ・-・) SHUT THE FUCK UP

　|∧_∧
　| ˃ ω˂)　I said めるぽ!!
　||と ノ

( ・ω・) I'm best friends with u ♪

　　　　　　　∧＿∧ 　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　　 （・ω・　） ＜ 　Yay! It's scooter time〜♪
　　　　 ,Oﾞﾞ)=⊂二 ） ≡ ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　　／　ノ((￣＿ノﾆﾆフ
　　 '=-=､＼>>_ﾉ/,.=-＼ 　
　　（ ◎）ﾞｰ――'（ ◎）　≡3　≡3　≡3

　　　　　　　∧＿∧ 　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　　 （・ω・　） ＜ 　"I'm the candyman, also known as Dave. Dave from Sheffield."
　　　　 ,Oﾞﾞ)=⊂二 ） ≡ ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　　／　ノ((￣＿ノﾆﾆフ
　　 '=-=､＼>>_ﾉ/,.=-＼ 　
　　（ ◎）ﾞｰ――'（ ◎）　≡3　≡3　≡3

( ・-・) YOU! ARE! A! CLOOOOOOOONE!!!

( ・ω・) I'm Dave from Sheffield. Would you like to buy some candy?

( ・ω・) Here's a box of Crunchy Frog chocolates for your wife or girlfriend.

( ・ω・) Cor blimey by cracky.

( ・ω・) I'm aboot to go to Tim Horton's for donuts here in Sheffield, eh?

( ・-・) That is the worst fake English accent I've ever heard. Stop doing it.

( ・-・) Quit it.

( ・ω・) Yumpin Yimineee.

( ・ω・) Dadgum it all to H E double hockey sticks!

( ・ω・) Tut tut! I do believe we have quite the snazzy rambles round this part of London!

( ・ω・) Y'all come back now, ya heah?

Viewers were puzzled as today's episode of Everybody
Loves Clonepa went off track into an endless stream of
bad accents. DQN-TV could not be reached for com-
￣￣Ｖ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　clik　　　 　∧＿∧ 　　　　
/　　/ 　　| |　　　　　　　+　◇⊂（・ω・　ヽ　That's enough news for today.
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿||　　　　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　 |;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　|l─────‐l|'

( ・-・) I know I am.

( ・ω・) I'm too sexy for my thread.

( ・ω・) Ai-da-da-ai-da, ai-da-da-ai-da!

( ・ω・) da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron.

　　　 ( ・ω・) 　Good day to be alive!
　　　.ノ^　yヽ、
　　　ヽ,,ﾉ==l ﾉ
　　　　/ 　l |
"""~""""""~"""~"""~"

　　　 ∧__∧
　　　 ( ・ω・) 　It sure is.
　　　.ノ^　yヽ、
　　　ヽ,,ﾉ==l ﾉ
　　　　/ 　l |
"""~""""""~"""~"""~"

　　　 ∧__∧
　　　 ( ・ω・) 　Yes, sir!
　　　.ノ^　yヽ、
　　　ヽ,,ﾉ==l ﾉ
　　　　/ 　l |
"""~""""""~"""~"""~"

　　　　　　　　　＼　　ヽ　　　　　! |　　　　 /
　　　　　　＼　　　　ヽ　　　ヽ　　　　　　　/　　　　/　　 　 　 ／ .
　　　　　　　　　＼　　　　　　　　　　｜　　　　　　/　　　／
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ,イ 　　　　　　　　
　￣　--　　=　＿　　　 　　　　　　/ | 　　　　　　　　　　　　　--'''''''
　　　　　　　　　　　,,, 　 　 ,r‐、λノ　 ゛i、_,、ノゝ　　　　　-　￣
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　゛l　　 ∧∧　 　 ゛、_
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 .j´　　 (・ω・ )　　　（.　Power up!
　　　　　─　　　＿　　─ { 　 　c/◎~ つ 　 /─　　　＿　　　　　─
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　) 　　｛ ,、｛ 　　　,l~
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　´y. 　　lノ ヽ,)　　<

( ・ω・) Hello everyone! My name is Clonepa.

( ・ω・) On tonight's very special show, watch as Beady Eyes learns a valuable lesson about life. Our musical guest is the dirt metal band SMUDGE.

( ・ω・) Also, all of us clones will be performing a musical, synchronized head slapping extravaganza featuring none other than the world famous Darkpa!

( ・ω・) Tune in right after a new Grandpa's Story Hour!

　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_
　|　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_　 |
　|　|　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 |　| 　　　　　Told you, we call in sick, they show
　|　|　 ∧__∧　∩　　 　　　|　| 　　　a rerun, and we still get paid!
　|　|　（,,´ω`)彡☆ 　 　 　 |　|　 　　　　　　 　 ∧＿∧　　∧＿∧
　|　|　　⊂彡☆))∀・) 　 　 |　|　　　　　　　 　 （´ω`　） 　（・∀・　） Cool!!
　|　|　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 |　|　　　　　　 ◇⊂　　　　）＿（　　　　）＿＿
　|　 ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣　 |　　　　　　 ||―┌ ┌ _）＿┌ ┌ _）＿||　　|
　|　　°°　 　∞ 　 ≡ ≡ 　 |　　　　 　　||　（＿（＿_）　（＿（＿_）＿|| 　 |
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_
　|　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_　 |
　|　|　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 |　| 　　　
　|　|　 ∧__∧　∩　　 　　　|　| 　　　I don't remember this episode.
　|　|　（,,・-・ )彡☆ 　 　 　 |　|　 　　　　　　 　 ∧＿∧　　∧＿∧
　|　|　　⊂彡☆))ω) 　 　　 |　|　　　　　　　 　 （´ω　）　（・∀・　） Me neither, but it sure is a good one.
　|　|　　　　　　　 　 　 　 　 |　|　　　　　　 ◇⊂　　　　）＿（　　　　）＿＿
　|　 ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣　 |　　　　　　 ||―┌ ┌ _）＿┌ ┌ _）＿||　　|
　|　　°°　 　∞ 　 ≡ ≡ 　 |　　　　 　　||　（＿（＿_）　（＿（＿_）＿|| 　 |
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

( ・-・) ....

( ・-・) Up yours.

( ・ω・) You're not supposed to use that line yet!

( ・ω・) I'm supposed to say "may the grace of allah light up your life" first.

( ・-・) Wait, what am I supposed to say now then?

( ・ω・) The writers have been copying the "Carry On" series again!

( ・ω・) And there's only one writer for this episode.

（´ω`　）...

( ・ω・) "may the grace of allah light up your life" first.

( ・-・) ضربة بها مؤخرتك

( ・ω・)) what language is that you're speaking beady?

( ・-・) In about forty years, that won't be a joke.

!☆And now for a commercial break☆!

( ・-・) my stunt double has the wrong ears.

( ・-・) Your entire existence is a mask.

( ・-・) With chiselled slits for eyes.

I am the mask; the mask is my other self.
It was a mask that proposed to write about ( ・-・), 　（　・∀・） , ( ´ω`) and everything that happened that winter.
“It won’t make you feel any better,” it told me “it might even make it worse for a while. But you mustn’t let the sadness die inside you. You have to give it life. You have to…”
‘Let it all out?’
It smiled “something like that,”
“I don’t know, Mask” I sighed “I’m not sure I can write a story,”
“Ah now that’s just stupid, anybody can write a story. It depends how they show it. All you do is tell the truth. Tell it like it was,”
“But I don’t know how it was, I can’t even tell the truth. I don’t know all the details, the facts-“
“Stories AREN’T JUST facts, ( ・ω・) , they’re not details. Stories are feelings. You got feelings haven’t you?”
“Too many,” I admitted
“Well that’s what you need, don’t write some story with twist and turns, write it like it is,” my mask smiled “cry yourself a story, ( ・ω・) .”
That’s what I did. I cried myself a story, and the mask stroked my tears away.

Viewers were alerted and unafraid as today's epi-
￣￣Ｖ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　＿＿＿＿　　　　　　clik　　　 　∧＿∧ 　　　　
/　　/ 　　| |　　　　　　　+　◇⊂（・ω・　ヽ　That's enough news for today.
l 二 | 　　 | |　　　　　　　　　／ ￣￣旦￣￣／|
＼＿ヽ_＿||　　　　　　　.／＿＿＿＿＿／／
　 |;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;|　　　　　　　|l─────‐l|'

( ・-・) We already know that, you dunce.

( ・-・) Also, 200get!

（　・∀・）Congratulations >>199!