( EΦE) Hello everyone! My name is Clonepa.
( EΦE)I CAME ACROSS THE DESERT TO GREET YOU WITH A SMILE IT'S HARDLY WORTH MY WHILE.
( EΦE)Wait we're done singing now?
( EΦE) Anyway I can't cook so your cake just turned into a pineapple
( ί ί) Silly Clonepa, that's not a pineapple!
( EΦE) Holy shit, a VIPPER who isn't VIPPING a nap.
( EΦE) We're going to have to alert DADDY COOL.
( EΦE) Oh, DADDY COOL didn't pay his server bill this month.
( EΦE) Probably didn't have the money since people weren't paying him enough.
( E-E) Oh, I paidhim enough. He never delivered on the VIP QUALITY.
( E-E) Probably took my money and ran to mootxico.
( EΦE) You do realize VIP QUALITY might mean something completely different to a guy who talks like Torgo, you fuckwit?
( EΦE ) Empathy, kids!
( E-E) But I don't wanna learn about quantum chromodynamics
( ί ί) You shut your whore mouth and listen, dammit!
( EΦE) No butt, no butt
( EΦE) I've never had a butt
( EΦE) Plenty of ifs and many ands
( EΦE) But not a single butt!
( EΦE) Shine a light on an electron
( EΦE) The electron will swerve!
( EΦE) The act of observing
( EΦE) Disturbs the observed!
( EΦE) Heisenberg's musing
( EΦE) is a punch to the gut.
( EΦE) But the thing most disturbing
( EΦE) Is I have no butt!
:Ι hooheeyaahooho
:jhooheehohoohoo
:mheoohahaho
:Rhehoho
( E-E) When did we get a live studio audience?
( E-E) One that wasn't leftover Clonepas, I mean?
( EΦE) Are they all lying down?
( EΦE) IS IT NAPTIME?
Viewers were amused to sleep by today's episode of Everybody Loves
Clonepa, wherein the clones delivered an information-dense musical
number about quantum chromodynamics and butts. What will those-
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/@@/ @@| |@@@@@@@+@ΌiEΦE@R@That's enough news for today.
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@ @ ΘQΘ
@@@i EΦEj@@It happened again.
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( LΦ`) Please do, Junior. I thought I'd fixed that glitch already.
_______________________
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@@@ ΘQΘ@@If it bleeds, we can kill it!
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@@@@@@@@@ ''-c,,@ ':, @.i EΦEj.@R€,,_,,m'ά@@But I don't bleed.
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@@@ ΘQΘ@@... plan B, guys? Guys?
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We should strategically send hundreds of thousands of our men against him to fall one by one until we or it dies.
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@@@ ΘQΘ@@... looks like I'm out.
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In other news, what the HELL was go-
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/@@/ @@| |@@@@@@@+@ΌiEΦE@R@That's enough news for today.
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i @E-Ej That happens when you shut the TV off.
( EΦE)
( EΦE) I'll never shut it off again. This quietness is creeping me out.
( EΦE) That's nice.
( EΦE)
(₯`∍L₯) (`ΦL) (#¬٨¬) Hey assface, you're gonna get a beat down
( `)(L) What did I do?
( EΦE) C'mon guys, don't beat up Uncle Assface!
(₯`∍L₯) (`ΦL) (#¬٨¬)He was plotting to kill you. We found his plans in the foundry.
( E-E) Hey, has anyone seen my secret plans to kill Clonepa? I'm sure I left them around here somewhere.
( `)(L) Are we done here? I still haven't had my morning vomit.
( `)(L) I'm a big fat butt.
( EΦE) But are you sure you're as thunk as you drink you are?
(₯`∍L₯) (`ΦL) (#¬٨¬) Are you talkin to us? Cuz we don't thunk we drought anyone else around.
( EΦE) Well, I thread to drink that you drought that; the thunk you doubt is drunken thoughts' sunken droughts.
( `)(L) So am I getting beat up or not, then?
(L₯∍₯) (LΦ
) (#Κ`Κ) Nah. We're stupid and we're leaving. Bye.
( EΦE) Yeah, the coast is clear.
(L₯∍₯) Actually... Can I hang out with you guys?
( EΦE) I don't know if we need a duckmouth
( E-E) For that matter, I'm not sure we need a Clonepa either.
In other news, viewers tuned out in the thousands as today's
Everybody Loves Clonepa simply showed annoying comic foil
Beady Eyes sitting on a bare set, nervously picking at his scabs
and trying to th-
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(L₯∍₯) Maybe I can help with your show! I know some cat and dog jokes!
( E-E) Alright, let's hear them if it'll get you out of here faster.
(`ΦL) I lost my goddamn duck again.
( EΦE) I don't know what's going on
(L₯∍₯) ( EΦE) I've found my one true love, we're eloping together, tell the show producers not to try to find us.
( EΦE) You two have fun! I'll take over here.
( EΦE) .....
( EΦE) What is it we do here?
(#¬٨¬) I haven't really gotten any representation here.
( E-E) That's because you're the ugly one and nobody likes you.
( EΦE) I like you. You have a funny nose.
(`ΦL) And then there was one.
( E-E) Don't get too comfortable; you're next.
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( _ ) Shut up, fuccboi
( _) Talk shit, get hit.