Today, I crossed the street in the middle. I did not check both ways.
I have a problem with using my charm and good looks to lure most girls I meet. But relationships are repulsive to me. Sometimes I just enjoy their affectionate advances. Other times I'm bored.
My friends tend to envy me this. I see it as just another skill - of which I have many.
>>753-san's post makes me bitter, but only because I have an inferiority complex and can't accept other people being good at things without being all misanthropic about it.
Despite the best efforts of documentary film makers, 20th century history is dreadfully boring me at best.
I used to draw a shitty comic of vulgar jokes. At first the characters were called Butt-head and Dorkus. But then I decided that Butt-head sounded too reminiscent of Beavis and Butt-head, and found out that "Dorcas" is a real (albeit old-fashioned) GIRL's name that sounds just like "Dorkus". So Butt-head became Ass-head and Dorkus was renamed to Peter F. Dick (who was also going to have an uncle called Harry Dick, but I never got around to actually writing him in...)
I also named my half-orc in Angband "Dick Halflong" once during a late-night sleep deprivation session. It kind of became a tradition for me, and as characters die a lot in that game, I got up to like Dick Halflong XIV or thereabouts.
Whenever I watch a live-action movie these days, I tend to get dreadfully bored within minutes. I suspect that all these years of watching moeblob anime have ruined me for looking at real, non-exaggerated human facial expressions.
I started to learn Japanese eight years ago, all so I could enjoy untranslated eroge. In hindsight it was so not worth the effort
>>758,759
Are you both early-to-mid-twenties who began learning it as a young teenager? I ask because I, too, tried learning around eight years ago, at which time I was fourteen. This would seem like the common age for intelligent otaku to take a stab at the language.
I still can't read it either, however :/
I started in middle school, personally (age 13). While I originally did it for the eroge, I have actually ventured out into reading more mundane/useful things over the past 11 years....
I can read (not write) about 1000 kanji fairly well now. My grammar will be awful forever. I kind of half-assed the studying, you know?
If the whole programming thing doesn't work out, I do have a shot at translating vidya gaems.
>>759,760
It seems I'm older than >>760,762. I seriously started at age 19, though I did make some half-hearted attempts before then. Currently I can read some 1400 kanji, and write maybe 900 without a reference. I'm still a college undergrad, but having Japanese as major subject helps me not be too half-assed about it. It does have the disadvantage of having to write boring essays about the economic history of tiny villages in Aomori, though. The biggest grammar problem I struggle with is matching politeness registers inappropriately to the situation.
>>763 I started learning when I was 19 as well but I only did it for a year and then my Japanese teacher lost her job and had to go back to Japan. It was heartbreaking, she was a lovely jolly little lady and she started crying in class. So I only really know hiragana and katakana and very basic vocabulary, which I'm forgetting because I haven't studied in 3 years. Which is a shame but I don't have the time...
Every time I spot a translation error in a fansubbed anime/drama, I get the urge to send a correction to the translator. But since most of the stuff I watch was aired and translated several years ago, I figure nobody would give a damn about my corrections anymore, even if I did have a way of contacting the fansubbers. And so the error remains uncorrected, and deep inside I feel guilty for not speaking up.
I self-consciously insert Americanisms into my speech whenever I post on a US-dominated online forum, even though I've never spent more than two weeks in the United States and find it frankly distasteful.
>>766
I do this too. The problem is that people insist on pointing out whenever you use a Commonwealth spelling or idiom, but never when you use American speech. I suppose it's understandable given that these sort of sites are predominantly American, but you'd think people would be more tolerant or at least get bored of pointing out you put a "u" in "colour".
I cheated at "pin the tail on the donkey" at my fifth birthday party.
Whenever I see a highly-rated YouTube comment saying "Thumbs up if condition foo is met", I vote it down. I don't like random strangers telling me what to do.
>>769 there are certain imperative statements on the Internet I am willing to tolerate, but I will never oblige those. Another one I will never oblige is the single word "Elaborate." Yes, what I said was fancy, also get off your retarded high horse if I wanted to say more I would say more; maybe if you were polite about it I might, but ah-ah-ah you didn't say the magic word.
whoops I think I mistook this thread for a chat thread my bad
>>769 I do that too. And "x people didn't y" in regards to the number of dislikes on a video. Youtube memes in general.
I kind of liked the Uwe Boll Bloodrayne movie (the first one, I haven't seen the follow-ups.)
It may have helped that I'd not yet played the game when I saw it, of course.
Speaking of Uwe Boll, every time I go to the local video rental I have to force myself to ignore the Postal movie on the shelf. One day, I need to research just how much revenue a director gets from a single DVD rental. Maybe then my internal conflict will be negotiated to a satisfactory conclusion.
>>769
Obviously it's the younger generation and I'm willing to forgive them for that (I doubt I was better at 14), but I hope the Internet as a whole outgrows it.
Makes me wonder if similar things happened when other means of communication were invented. It must have taken a lot of bickering and oh-for-fuck's-sake-give-it-a-rest before things like written communication became what they are today.
>>769
Whenever I see a comment like that, I vote it up. I secretly hope that somebody "loses it" and assaults somebody else AFK in a feat of rage. I dream about this headline in the morning news: "A dork kicked two butts over a silly youtube comment, before getting his ass whooped by a jock."
These dreams of schadenfreude make sifting through comments more or less tolerable.
I also made a few "arrow in the knee" jokes and rather successfully upset a bunch of "arrow in the knee" haters with a "sword through the chest" variations.
>>775
It only goes downhill from there.
I'd rather avoid reading "written communication" between two youngsters. Amateur radio has its share of pirates and people who can't get it right (however, it's a rather strict community). Phone pranks are increasingly more popular as recording tools, sound boards and other things become more and more accessible. And, well, the Eternal September.
I posted with this name. Again.
I must admit I feel a bit sorry for her. How much do you have to hate yourself before you begin trolling a place like DQN?
>>780
Some people don't deserve sympathy.
So as not to be entirely off topic, my lame confession is that I overuse semicolons.
I felt relieved that DQN still has people who can understand my point of view, like >>780 did!
Wouldn't be able to do much without anyone's support actually.ww
and that's why we will hunt down the collaborators, and send them to the Island of Perpetual Tickling
I overuse em dashes.
Perhaps this is a good thing since ASCII/keyboards don't have a dedicated dash and people seem to have forgotten they exist.
Every time I read a Cracked.com article and a smile passes over my face, I imagine a frat boy giggling at the exact same lines and feel bad about my amusement. I guess the Elitist Superstructure really is the perfect place for someone as snooty as me.
I can extrude hair, but I can't retract it.
I come off as intelligent and witty online, but without immediate access to Google I am nothing.
>>789
Don't people become suspicious about your response times to certain messages? If I noticed a consistent delay followed by an erratic, too-quick typing rate I might start to wonder what could initially be taking so long.
>>790
I rarely do real-time communication these days, but people are more forgiving of a minute delay in IRC or MSN than they would be over the phone or in real life. You might have less time to look something up between chatting, but on the plus side people don't expect you to type up a ten paragraph essay either.
Of course with email and message boards, it's easy to write long posts making yourself look knowledgeable about anything.
IRC is the best form of communication
I find XKCD to be unfunny.
I'm 21 and I threw out my back today cutting down thorn bushes with swords.
DQN would eventually lose itself in the recesses of my memory if it were not the browser home page.
>>795
I've lied and told everyone who has asked whether I've seen it that I actually have, only so that they can talk about it while I enthusiastically agree instead of creating the awkward, disappointed silence which follows a lack of awareness of something one holds dear.
I feel guilty bumping threads after several consecutive sages.
I could not get the >>800 GET.
My captcha for this post was, fittingly, inane
>>800
I do. Between the theft of my GET and the reuff talking, ignorant dokyun, I feel like my life can't get any worse.
I tried to sage a thread on my phone and bumped it instead.
I have never seen Revenge of the Sith.
I have never seen any of the Star Wars films. Not even one.
For my high school's senior class president election, I ran and used Emperor Palpatine's speech in front of my entire class, mocking his voice.
I almost won.
>>807
Oh yeah, that was me a while back.
Consider this another post for this lame thread- I posted a video of myself on the Secret Area.
I don't get why qwantz.com is so popular among my friends. The guy has been using the same six frames of mediocre clip-art on a plain white background and combining them with walls of mostly unfunny text in a shitty font for years. What is it about that so-called webcomic that I clearly must be missing?
>>809
Are your friends 17-years-old and/or pseudo-intellectual, perchance?
I'm not good at talking to women.
I haven't watched My Little Pony for a few weeks and I kinda miss it.
I go to 4chan's /mlp/ board and post fluffy pony fanfiction anonymously. Unlike most "fluffy pony" stories, which are about someone torturing the stupid little beasts horribly, yukkuri style, mine attempt to go for the inherent surreal black humor of the "fluffy pony" concept. Everyone ignores me. [spoiler];_;[/spoiler]
I like to massage my breasts with my bare feet.
I spelled "tattooed" wrong...
I am not in elementary school, but I sometimes play games on easy mode.
I actually spent thirty seconds contorting myself to try to recreate >>816's acclaimed feat.
I once ended up in a strange AIM conversation with a friend as to whether she could lick her own nipples. She attested she could if she pulled her breasts closer to her face, and did it there and then, describing the act. To her it was an innocent bit of fun. To me it was a chatlog I've had saved for almost ten years.
>>822
How old were you when you saved it, and why did you delete it in the end?
>>822
One of my ex's said she liked to lick her nipples in the shower.
I'm licking my nipples right now and I'm not even female.
I frequently fart on my boyfriend's dick while spooning
>>832 go to the fart thread in 4chan's /d/ board. People in that thread love stories about women farting on their boyfriend.
I play all video games on the lowest difficulty setting.
I don't know how to italicize here
>>835
I continually cheat at video games. In fact, I won't buy video games unless you can cheat.
Post too long. Click to view the whole post or the thread page.
>>840
Err, no. I only go to *chans when somebody sends me a link which is quite rare. Anyway, what happened there? Rob was 19 again and everyone was having a blast, weren't they?
>>841
He's 19? I thought he was like, 17. I vaguely recall Jkid ``blackmailing'' him for being underage.
Someone mentioned demoscene, is all.
I don't know who you are talking about.
Rob is jarig is a mighty fine demoscenish meme: ttp://www.pouet.net/prod.php?which=7084 - just look at the list of release parties.
I must confess that Skyrim has deeply affected me.
After playing as khajiit for some time I decided to take ALL THE SALMON! And I did so, stealing, catching or just taking - the way of obtaining it didn't matter. I always have around 200 pieces of it in this game and eat the surplus.
As a result, every time I see salted salmon in my local supermarket, I can't help myself but buy one. Thanks god, I'm not a kleptomaniac AFK.
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
I just searched someting using Bing and I found what I was looking for.
My name isn't Andrew. I feel so out of place.
I'm David.
So am I.
Ah, screw it. As a great man(?) once said, "shit lets be david".
Andrew is a good name.
I'm Andrew.
>>852
Shit, lets be santa.
I'll be your mister claus.
Can I be the Santa from "Dragon Pink"?
>>855
...and we'll fade away on~ christmas day,
in a jpeg impression loss.
do do do de de do do do dee do dee
VC: joy
I used to tolerate people that read Homestuck and watched My Little Pony.
I like ST: Enterprise better than ST: Voyager.
I like ST: Voyager better than Deep Space Nine.
Every once in a while I notice the words "Blue Moon" in the stylesheet list and get that song stuck in my head.
I get very sweaty from even the least difficult exercises and minigames on Wii Fit.
Sometimes I get impatient with /dqn/ and reply to my own posts in threads about the previous poster. Afterwards I often feel guilty without quite knowing why.
I avoid using the word "ironic" because I'm afraid that people will tell me I'm misusing it.
I use a tripcode on other boards.
I am trying to learn how to program the 6502.
That isn't lame, >>868. Similar 8-bit CPUs are still in widespread use in embedded systems. I daresay you might even get a job programming the 6502 with that skill. I demand lamer confessions.
>>869
What if I told you I'm only trying to learn it because of being a rabid Elite fan?
I watched Cyber City Oedo for the sole purpose of confirming or denying my suspicion that Benten was in fact the vampire being talked about in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2Q6AwrGUkQ
I mean, look at him. (But no, he isn't.)
I intentionally dumb down my writing on IRC and most boards.
It's not that I'm intelligent or anything, I just type properly and I don't want people to think I'm somehow arrogant.
>>872
What do you mean by "dumb down," like typing in lowercase? That's not being an idiot, it's being more practical... less time and effort with the same message expressed in the end.
>>874 I beg to differ. Consider the classic example "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse", which expresses quite a different meaning when written completely in lowercase.
I continually make redundant statement continually....
I continuously get "continuously" and "continually" confused.
Oh well, at least people can imply what I mean from the context.
>>872
I only that do that if lowercase is most prevalent, eg., in #4chan. With different friends however I'll mimic their writing style to the fullest extent.
>>874
I actually type faster in sentence case, because that's how I'm used to typing. It takes more time and conscious effort to lowercasify what I type.
You are the kind of person I am worried about, though. I don't want to look snobby when everyone else is using shorthand and all-lowercase, then I come along and type in proper English, (apparently) putting more work in.
I make replies in threads that shouldn't have all that many replies.
I defaced a public bench today with the words “BUMS DO POOS”
>>887
To disambiguate, I make replies to specific posts in threads that shouldn't have replies to specific posts. You should be ashamed!
"lame" is an anagram for "meal." That is suddenly fascinating to me this morning.
"Lame" backwards is "emal".
That's kind of like "email" or "eval".
I care.
I just lied to this girl I chat to online about being naked.
I'm actually wearing a pair of boxers and a watch.
If I'm talking about a serious or academic topic, I often dumb down my spelling and grammar so people won't take me too seriously if I turn out to be wrong.
swim is nearly the same upside down!
I'm afraid of woodlice. It isn't quite a phobia, but even so.
i went nearly a month without reading /dqn/ and now feel guilty
>>896 me too, and many other harmless bugs, because of the scarab beetles in The Mummy films
I don't like country music except the ones that are enjoyable in a dark comedy / schadenfreude / cynical sort of way. Those ones are hilarious.
(if you aren't familiar with the genre, by the way, sardonic humor is actually a bigger part of it than you might suspect)
I'm severely addicted to the WWW
I have, in the past, had long baths with candles and a book, massages, weekend retreats; all sorts of supposedly relaxing activities - and none of them were ever as relaxing as two minutes of sitting watching the emergency mittens floating down the screen.
When I was a kid, Mom said I had spent way too much time on the computer playing the game. The game said I had only like 8 hours, and computers don't lie, so I called her BS and we got into a big fight.
Only later did I find out that FFVIIPC runs the clock at half speed.
I spend ~18 hours online a day
I spend ~18 hours in bed a day
I can only barely get through stage 2 of Perfect Cherry Blossom without dying.
It annoys me that my favorite cultures are among the most racist.
I have this guitar, but I don't know how to play it.
I went to the bathroom today and I didn't wipe.
our singer writes the worst fucking music and I don't want to tell him without hurting his feelings because he's a whiny bitch like that but god damn it this song is terrible i haven't practised it at all
and when he tells us to rehearse it i'm just going to say
fuck you
let the people who play the instruments write music for the instruments
you fucking untalented hack
you can't even sing
die in a fire
or something
My computer is too slow for the aforementioned social games I do not have friends who play.
I've masturbated to pictures of dissected brains.
Why do I feel slightly proud of myself ?
People's insides really gives me a chubby.
Whenever I'm bored and have an erection I play a game called "What can I jerk off to?" I'll just think about totally random things or look at various objects in my room and try jerking off to them. My research indicates the answer to be "Anything."
>>916
I used to play that game too but I've found the older I get the harder it is to get off.
>>913 oh man I've been there
The only time that I remember
Talking to a girl at schooool
...worried that she might say no!
Ever since someone complained about people derailing the short novel threads with nonsense, I like to do just that to spite him when I otherwise probably wouldn't even post in the thread.
I am far more excited about the upcoming 7000th of September than about Halloween or Christmas.
I've turned my young schoolgirl lover into an addict with weird synthetic powders
>>924
It's supposed to be sequential nonsense, that ties into itself nicely and perhaps touches on the main themes of GSL and Daddy Cool.
Since I lost my job I was waking up well past 11:00, which feels me with a pure hatred of myself every time. I keep trying to wake up earlier, but it doesn't happen. I'm in a hermit-like state as a result.
One time I was playing with a Stretch Armstrong toy with the little sister of a classmate who I didn't like, and when Stretch was stretched out far enough that she began to lean back to stretch further, I deliberately let go so that she fell on her ass.
I get really angry when people post Tumblr links on DQN and then chat in the CTRL+V thread. I bet it's the same guy doing both.
I fucking loved Madoka, however it has forced me to come to terms with the fact that you could probably create just about anything involving cute girls wearing frilly dresses and I'd call it a masterpiece.
I haven't contributed a good post to DQN since at least September 5500.
I didn't understand what "hotglue" was until recently. I thought it was actually hot glue (like from a glue gun) and some people just liked the idea of figures being submerged in it (hey, there are weirder fetishes).
I feel so naive. It's like the time I discovered dakimakura were sex toys and I'd been doing it wrong for years.
If I ever have a kid I want a smart girl because I hate boys and stupid people, but not too hot because I don't want to worry about being attracted to her.
I would quite like to have a daughter that I could dress in frilly dresses and whatnot, sort of like vicarious crossdressing.
While I find the thought of sexual activity in a purely recreational form appealing, the actual process of reproduction is revolting to me.
>>934
That's not lame, that's the kind of good thinking that keeps the population in check.
I accidentally replied to the whole mailing list instead of the sender yesterday.
i would welcome a DQN into my home
I don't have a lawn. I don't even have an ambition to get a lawn.
I'd buy a patch of turf just to let a goat feel welcome, should one visit.
I'm so hungry I could eat a goat
I read the entirety of http://archives.4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1184219871/, and the ending nearly brought me to tears.
I have just finished reading the story of Boatmurdered. I am deeply touched by it. I feel slightly desperate.
>>943
What are these powers? I'd like to check whenever I have them as well!
>>942
I read both the sequels straight after that just to fill the gaping hole in my life. Took days. Fucking killed my grades but totally worth it.
Kryptonite is my weakness.
I missed with my mouse and accidentally pooped the perfect rating on someone's picture on pixiv.
I hit my lips pretty hard when I was lifting my hand in shame and surprise.
>>256
I am now nearly 26 and, despite having obtained a university degree, gotten a basic training certificate (and working towards a more advanced one) and started training in a third language, I am still yet to hold an actual job.
Jesus Christ.
>>948
That's a rather drastic confession, this is clearly not lame.
I broke 4chan's linking system in order to sabotage the republic.
Whenever I was going through the complete collection of NES ROMs that I downloaded, I would pass over "Sweet Home" because the title made me imagine some overly saccharine house building sim or something equally "kawaii" that probably wasn't even translated. Even when I heard it referred to as being creepy a few times, I assumed it was people being sarcastic or just one of those Japanese things that's "too weird" for a western audience. It was only when I saw it referred to together with Clock Tower (which I recently played and enjoyed) that I decided to actually give it a try.
I genuinely get slightly upset when people sexualise Touhou. Needless to say, I keep well away from most Touhou-centric areas of the internet because of this.
I drove 40mph in a 30mph area for a few seconds before I realized where I was and slowed down.
>>949
I wasn't in quite in as bad a way as you, but I got a careerish job after NEETing for two years after college at 24.
I'm procrastinating instead of finishing a picture of the DQN lobby.
Every day I remember about it and feel ashamed. I can't do anything because of the shame!
I'm completely disabled by a sense of guilt. I can only manage to lie down and cry.
So, as the Earth keeps spinning around and about mercilessly, I find myself in shortage of stories about age-mates whose personal lives resemble train wrecks.
That's what helped my loser mentality stay afloat. This realisation makes me quite sad, really. As planet's rotations push me closer to the title of "The Ultimate Loser", I just don't know what should I do and what can I do. I don't even know how to learn this. I just panic when I see the whole picture.
You might be wondering, "What does the Earth has to do with it? What would change for me even if it stopped?" Well, such a spectacular tragedy would change pretty much everything. Certainly I wouldn't have time to pity myself.
I'm posting in the wrong thread.
Or am I?
I took a big shit and took a photo of it on my phone, then set it as my phone wallpaper
>>960 Did you ever see the South Park episode "More Crap"?
Anyway, I sometimes worked with guys who would show off their biggest crap. I never had any impressive craps.
I forgot to fap today, now I'm at a higher risk of prostate cancer.
>>961 I have seen that episode yes. It's not the biggest I have done, but it was just to show my girlfriend, she likes to see my progress
>>964 No, I burst in once when she had diarrhoea and it was messy but she got really embarrassed and I felt bad.
If I ever got filthy, unbelievably rich, I would probably run out of hedonistic pleasures pretty quickly and just bankroll Everybody Loves Clonepa Productions or something.
I don't have a girlfriend. I'm not looking for one. I don't mind it.
All that trouble and annoyance for a price of getting banned 4 times from "the most funny" webforum online!
>>970
Yes, Windows 8 should be banned from the "most funny" webforum online's ex-sub-forum Helldump.
https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=36188
Who is lame now, Windows 7?! BRB, installing Windows ME on my Windows 8! #YOLO. #Swag.
When someone says "honk honk" my first thought is Gamzee rather than Chen.
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!! ( > ω < )
>>973 My first thought is Harpo Marx.
Can't go wrong with the classics, man...
>>976
CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
Yama no Susume was so beautiful it brought me to tears.
wat
I just misread "cunning lies" as "cunnilingus".
I just misread "cunnilingus" as "cuntaluffigus".
I haven't seen a film I haven't understood.
When I was registering my new cool Bamboo Pen, I couldn't get the software key working. I mailed all my info to support, the guy said that the key is fine and asked me to check whenever I had the right model selected. I wrote that it was fine and the key wasn't working even thought I tried replacing W with VV, etc. So, that support guy asked me to check it again, but this time he specified to look at the model number. He was right, I selected the older model instead of "Bamboo 3. Gen. Pen".
That was deeply embarrassing. I can't get myself to draw anything due to the stress.
>>989 silly billy, don't let it get to you though, turn that embarrassment and stress into some profound artwork
I really hate this board. It annoys me that there's such a great English text board site out there, and most of its posters are hanging out on what is basically the "forum games" section. Months go between posts on the topical boards, but people post here every day. While I don't want the boards to be lightning fast (and slow boards are generally higher quality), I think you're all doing the site a disservice by playing around in the worst board and not contributing to the pretty interesting threads going on in others. Even worse are the people who liked "ITT: we role-play as grandpa ( ´ω`) [AA] [VIP]" so much that they spun it off into its own site.
It's not that I mind catchphrases or having fun, I just think you're squandering a great website and I hate every single one of you.
I think >>992 is dumb not because his opinion differs fol mine but because he doesn't understand why the other boards are dead.
>>992
Having fun is a more noble cause for a textboard like DQN than any other. I mean we still have good discussion but we're not USENET, not to mention that this is basically what the 2ch VIP boards are like.
Sometimes I don't stick on topic in this thread.
I find Disney princess pretty hot.