Today, I crossed the street in the middle. I did not check both ways.

I'm currently on my school computer browsing DQN, in an effort to kill time while I wait two hours for someone to finally care enough to come take me home.

Oh, to be an otaku...

>>540-san, you should become a NEET. It has a certain benefit of not having to wait for anyone or even making others wait, because you won't be able to manage your time properly.

／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣\
|　Don't think. Feel.
＼
／￣￣￣|／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
| 　And you'll be NEET.
＼__________________＿＿_________________/＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 .＼|

　　　　　　　 ＿＿／＼＿＿
　　　　　　　＼TANASINN /
　　　　　　　　　CHANNEL　　　☆
　　　　　　　　　|／　　＼|
　　　ｧ'∴´´´^ゝ　　 　 　 (⌒ヽ　ﾉl_　　｡☆
　 　 ミr'(∴｀ｿﾘ　　☆。　 〃´￣∴　く ’
　　　`(l∴´∴｀ﾉ　　 　 　　ﾉ/j/{"}∴ﾘﾄ　+ *
　 　 ./T∴∴∴h　 　 　☆ /＾ﾙ(∴ﾟ∴ﾟﾉヘ、
　　　| .∴∴∴：|.|　　　　　｛：∴∴}i兆〈ﾍ.：｝
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

>>541-chan, there's no way I can do that.

I have pressure to succeed, and my family would honestly destroy me before letting me disgrace them as a NEET.

>>544
It's also possible to be depressed because of a constant realization that you're a burden/not achieving/useless/helpless. While it might sound emo, it's not really like that. It's more like turning yourself into a passive observer, watching how trends go past, how your friends become successful, how time slips by... It's an attempt to fade away, to disappear. A social suicide.

By the way, I must say that "Un homme qui dort" was a very interesting experience.

I browse DQN in the boardroom.

I stole $600 from my dad because he just moved to NZ.

Wait, that's not particularly lame. ;D
_________________
>>547 is awesome.

>;D

DISGUSTING.

>>548
To be honest, though my job is great, girlfriend etc, I don't have that much time for friends.

DQN is one of the few 'friends' I keep in daily contact with. Am I *pizz*ing my life away?

When I was a kid, I had a small crush on Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service.

>>550
I know a guy who is just like you. Are you that guy?

And relying on DQN instead of friends is alright, I find much more
interesting stuff in CTRL+V thread than they tell and send to me.

I havnt visited DQN since they implemented captchas.
I didnt miss anything.

>>553, either you did or you don't belong here.

HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans

>>556 this post gave me a pang of happy nostalgia

I am scared to touch dirty underwear

I'm bisexual.
No one knows it IRL.

I continued a character thread, once.

This is the first time in two weeks that I've brushed my teeth.

I've come back to this this board after months only to find out that I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. Did I change? Did DQN change? Meh...

I used the term "mobile oppression palace" in a serious paper and it made perfect sense because it was about colonialism.

( ・-・) Does the "mobile oppression palace" have an elitist superstructure?

I like to sniff solvents. Not to get high, just for the smell.

I like to sniff my farts. Not to get high, just for the smell.

( ・-・) Let's back up. I'm trying to derail this thread. >>566, do you do this in the "mobile oppression palace?"

I wish Everybody Loves Clonepa was a real show. I'd watch it religiously.

>>566 Do you have a hybrid car?

Every time I smell one of my own farts, I think of the South Park episode titled "Smug Alert"

Every time I visit the Elitist Superstructure, I refuse to leave until I have replied at least once to every thread on the front page.

>>570
People like us keep DQN going.

I need to pee.

I haven't brushed my teeth today.

>>571
DQN was going just fine without people like you

I have never felt "brain freeze." Probably because I was a really nice kid with a limited access to cold drinks.

But now... Nothing can stop me now!

>>574
If you keep being rude, it will certainly go nowhere.

>>576
Physician, heal thyself.

I didn't shower today and slept with my cloths on.
I've got class in 20min; I'll just rock an overcoat and call it a day.

http://youtu.be/ErMWX--UJZ4

Whenever I watch this, even if I was in a bad mood before I feel a little bit better.

God damn adorable!

I just downloaded 31 gigabytes of nothing but Seinfeld.

Somehow name field lost that option with a cute SJIS face. So, I accidentally copy-pasted&posted it with !ESpeoN/nPA part. I feel silly and extremely regretful.

It's Saturday morning and I'm in a cubicle. ~_~;

My hand is on my penis.

>>584
You should let it build up for a couple of days. 3-4 works best for me.

Last night I masturbated so hard I sprained my hamstrings or something

One time in work, the manager I'm assistant to was out of the office. She left me in charge of East China's operations and customer relationship management for a day.

I freaked out and started thinking my whole life was a set up, that I didn't belong in a position of responsibilty, that I was a useless NEET hallucinating everything good that happened in my life after I was 16, that everyone around me were actors, and that I had somehow become lost in a simulacra of the world tuned to "not fail".

I locked myself in the bathroom and typed an incoherent post on DQN, begging Lain Iwakura for help, and for DQN to contact her for me. I figured DQN would know how to get to her. Then my phone couldn't display the captcha. It took me until after lunch to get sane again, and then my training kicked in and I chased everybody I needed to chase and typed whatever I needed to type. At the end of the day, my regional reports came up green and I had a long talk with the regional sector head about radiation and also about Chinese girls.

( ・-・) ...Going crazy and looking to Lain and DQN for help.

>>584 either really good or really bad. depends on what's actually happening.

I knew I had genital warts, now she's telling me I should get checked up because she found warts downstairs.

teeheehee

I copy and paste all emoticons ( ・-・)

>>590
(So does everyone else!)

I really envy those who can enjoy life.

>>592 JUMP in the air

>>592
Me too. In addition, I flat-out hate the emotion of love and all who feel it, mostly because it is something I am too cold-hearted to ever know.

I haven't studied for any of my exams this week

>>587
[slowclap.gif]

>>591
I IME them in! ( ´▽｀)

I have a massive collection of porn and hentai I only ever watch, never masturbate to. I don't actually even masturbate. I just like porn.

I only masturbate to hentai, 3D is pig disgusting.

I only masturbate to text files, binaries are pig disgusting

I'm an attractive hipster male. Girls love me. Sorry :/

I keep trying to find Natsuko "Gal" Sone taking a crap.

By the power of Greyskull... I HAVE THE POWER!

>>601 it's easy to big yourself up on an anonymous text board isn't it? i actually am a sex god though

>>604 actually it's pretty hard. You might end up in your own delusional world if you lie to yourself too much. In this case everyone WILL call you an aspie.

>>604 an image board embiggens the smallest man.

My lame soundcard ensued in a computer crash when I tried to play the first track of the first DQN album too loudly.

>>605
At least he's not that one guy that doesn't get the clue that tripcodes are for jerks. Ahaha!

>>609
They aren't. For example, Sparky4 wasn't a jerk. And usage of WinME as a server OS was hardly delusional at all.

Anyway, DQN is the elitist superstructure. Tripcode is a great tool for establishing elitism across the globe!

Well...I came here

>>610
Sparky4 isn't a jerk only because he doesn't realize how annoying his senseless ramblings are, as well as his inability to defend against criticism, resorting to attack, albeit very weak. His actions are mainly unintentional and unpremeditated.

I just lost my ship in EVE Online in a rather silly circumstances. And I AM MAD AS HELL now (and I'm not going to play it anymore).

I exceed the FDA-recommended daily allowance of internet every single day!
Impressive, I know.

>>614's head is going to be fat with memes.

I'm just a worthless genius using my talents to impress people because I want them to like me. And when they do, I ignore them, as I quickly become bored with all pretenses of friendship and romance.

I still laugh at "Microsoft Sam reads stupid Windows errors" videos.

Im 19, not too ugly or fat, and never had a girlfriend probably because Im too shy and its expected for men to make the first move.

>>618
Come back when you're 29 and have the same problems.

>>619 I promise you I will and give you a status report.

I occasionally spend up to eight hours a day browsing omegle insulting people. Not even to troll or find conversation, just insult people

I'm off to buy overpriced weed!

from the Wizard, >>622?

623, did you mean "Wizards of the Coast"?

>>624, did you mean "blizzards on her toast"?

captcha: dead urk-

I kind of like Windows 7.

>>626
Press Win+Tab. It will totally blow your mind!

I released the emergency mittens without it being an emergency.

I can't bring myself to post in all-caps in the ( ˃ Д˂) Post Angry Things!! (340)
thread because I'm shy and I can't force myself to act less shy on the internet! It'd
be so out of character and so embarrassing.

If you were to meet me in real life you'd think that I'm trying to roleplay Fluttershy.
Saged because I don't really want anyone to read this.

I fondle myself in my sleep.

I fondle >>630 in his sleep.

I pretend I'm a sleeping >>630 so that >>631 will fondle me in my sleep, while fondling >>630 in his sleep. The testimonies of both of them always match, so I'm a perfectly invisible relay.

>>629
If you were really shy you would post anonymously.

>>632
You're basically doing a MitM attack on their sleeping connection. Evil!

I must have a pretty good immune system because I stick my finger up my bum and then lick it all the time and I never get sick.

I keep my fingers far away from >>635's bum.

It is possible that >>635 just has a clean asshole.

Always stretch after doing sit-ups. I used to skip stretching, and had developed incontinence.

>>638
Good thing that I don't exercise at all!

I slept 14 hours last night

I slept with a 14 year old last night

I slept alone and unloved last night

Pff, sleep is for dummies. See, if you skip all that boring nighttime nothing-doing, then you can get much more accomplished. Just look at my success!

>>643 You're about as successful as beady eyes. Get out of here!

I frequently use my colourblindness as an excuse to wear odd socks, despite the fact I can tell them apart quite easily.

I'm on kind of a field trip away from the big powerful conputer. But all I do is experiencing the free unlimited wireless internet access on my kindle.

Oh, to whom am I lying?.. I'm staying in the town where I grew up. The flat's full of stuff that brings back childhood memories. And broken promises...

Damn it, hometown visits even in pokemon games aren't this depressive!

I horribly failed my own tripcode. For this I'm extremely regretful.

Somehow this thread has transformed from its original glory into another diary/chat thread.

On topic, I must confess that I care way too much about this.

Today I ate a piece of bacon and didn't tell anyone else

>>649
Oh hey, I stole some bacon from work the other day. Also I enjoy eating various scraps of meats and cheeses when adventuring to the walk-in freezer for portions to restock the back line.

>>650 doesn't care if it rains or freezes
As long as he has his scraps of cheeses.

>>651 built one in a cave.

WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!!!

I kind of enjoyed the Bloodrayne movie.

>>648
But it's kinda lame to have a severe internet addiction. Anyway, DQN is all about back pats and mutual insults nowadays. It's just like AA (not SJIS one).

Also, I used "conputer" as a joke. It's like "con artist", but "puter"! I'm not sure what does this mean.

Today I drank a bottle of beer even though Im trying to die

diet*

>>656 I liked "die" better. That was unintentionally hilarious.

I dislike Xboxs

>>654
pretty and cuter?

I post stupid replies in other threads so that other users will not bother replying to them and instead look at my own thread. it works!

I believe that I'm cursed in some way.

I believe that >>661's thoughts about his alleged cursed status suffer from confirmation bias.

I believe that >>662's curse is to perceive confirmation bias wherever he looks.

sometimes I don't use home row when I type

I made a pointless post so I could 666GET.

vc: ruteness. Yes, I suppose it was.

666GET

I wanted to get the 666 GET. ＿|￣|○

I met the love of my life by introducing her to the asshole she dated before me.

>>668
You met her by introducing her? How does that work?

>>669 You say "Hello [person b] meet [person a]" or something along those lines.

Ｉ ａｍ ｓｏ ｖｅｒｙ ｆｕｌｌ ｏｆ ｈａｔｅ

I bumped this thread just to knock out the closed one from the list.

I wrote a paper that was supposed to funny, but the more I think about it, it seems more retarded than funny. But I've already sent it to my instructor.

My life is RUINED.

I know who >>673 is and I read his paper. I pray for him.

>>673 let us see it. Let us judge you.
It's better us than your instructor, isn't it?

I shave my feet.

>>676
I never heard of or saw people with visible hair on their feet, but now I Googled it and it seems common. Weird.
Anyway, I really don't think you should be ashamed of it.

>>676 is a hobbit.

I shave eveything (except my hair), because I can't stand the signs of being male.

>>679 did you also shave off your penis?

I love >>679 because he shaves his skin and eyes and tongue and a bunch of other neat stuff!

I feel so bad being an alpha-male on Omegle that I fucking draw girls' portraits (the ones who stay on cam anyway) in order to get them in successively less clothing.

I have cancer.

I also have cancer.

I have a big tumor, but it's not cancer.

It's not a tumah!

Actually, it is. The MRI showed swirly bits inside it too.

I have a tummy! It's full!

>>687
Is it a good thing? Swirly bits are usually tasty!

Sometimes I just skip the whole teeth brushing thing.

I have foreskin, and I'm proud of it.

Once again i'm drunk and i've slSAHED MYSELF UP AND I DO'T Care thAT I ACCIDENTALLY HIT CAPS LOCK

I have to be up and running in a couple of hours, but I'll just give up on studies today. I just can't get a hold of myself.

Orgasmed without cumming

I should go to class today but I won't.

>>695
I started to do this too often due to a peer pressure of posters on DQN. I'm going to have some major problems if I keep this up.

Actually I'm in the world of shit already.
My schedule is screwed up. I don't sleep enough, I can't concentrate, I get anxious, I skip classes, I get even more anxious, etc.

I blame all you for this.

I mean, hey, could it be my fault that I lost control over my life? Obviously not.

>>697
You're not the only one. I blame you for setting a bad example.

I don't have time to sleep because I will either not have enough time to do homework or I'll be late for class, so I spend all day on being tired instead.

>>698
So do I!

>>700 GET

I'm the guy who does the "VORUDEMOTO" bumps.

vc: low

I post a lot about my life here.

I checked out other boards for a change and I saw a whole new world.

I want to become a Wikipedia sysop!

My past is more exciting than I tend to think it has been.

I just spent 3 hours watching nyan cat videos.

I've lost control of my life.

I've spent the last three weeks of my life playing Monster Hunter Tri. I've only made it to HR 48, but I'm not going to stop there.

You guys are the only friends I have anymore.

And half of you hate my guts half the time.

I threw up in a rice field, threw a beer can in it and drove home extremely drunk the other night.

i stopped in the middle of masturbating with 20 different porn sites open to come and make this post here.

I haven't posted here in ages.

I came crawling back.

>>709
I don't have real friends. I feel the same way.

Also I've been using this place to talk about myself because it is the only persistent medium I have for doing so. On one hand I don't like cluttering up DQN with my shit but on the other I'm glad there are people who understand and support me in such a small corner of the internet.

I've turned DQN into one huge lame confessional thread. I'm the worst...

Back in the day, when I used to browse THAT PLACE a lot, I got into loli. I used to worry that I was going to be a pedo for life, but now I realize the girls I was guiltily masturbating over weren't too far from my own age. As I grew older, loli lost their appeal.

On the one hand, I'm glad I didn't turn out to be a pedophile. On the other hand, I secretly miss that juicy arousal I was once able to achieve so easily just by reading loli doujin. In fact, H-manga in general just feels too distant from reality these days.

I feel like the people on DQN and SAOVQ are the best friends I've ever had, but I'll never know any of them. This makes me sad.

>>717
Same to you, pal.

>>715
H-manga is by virgins for virgins after all.

I honestly prefer using aptitude to synaptic.

Last night, I actually got somewhat of a high from reading about IUPAC organic chemistry nomenclature.

My iPod is full of songs I don't actually like. The only reason why I got them in the first place was because they had become a meme on Nico Nico Douga.

I dislike this thread but feel the urge to say something about myself every time it comes up.

I keep my DQN Electronics in a separate playlist so I can turn scrobbling off when I listen to it.

>>724 awww that's no fun, i like to read up on people who scrobble dqn tracks

I say that I'm a NEET online because it's too shameful to admit that I'm actually a full-time student that holds a part-time job with a girlfriend of 8 months.

I say that I'm a full-time student that holds a part-time job with a girlfriend of 8 months because it's too shameful to admit that I'm actually a full-time worker that studies when he has time with a girlfriend of 9 months.

I mentally read "ITT" as "in this topic."

I'd her socks.

It makes me sick to my stomach to see "of" written where "'ve" or "have" is meant.

I use the like/dislike buttons on YouTube videos to affect future suggestions, not as a display of whether I liked the video or not.

People that post in threads with sage when DISPLAY_ID is false make me angry. If you don't like a thread, don't post in it. If you don't think your comment is good, don't post it. Seriously, people. It's not a difficult concept, is it? Sage isn't some magical tool that'll make a thread go away! If you post a comment worth anything at all, someone's bound to reply to it, and chances are that he won't use sage, or the person that replies to him won't, or a person replying both of your posts won't. ARGH!

>implying sage isn't magical and doesn't make 4-ch a magical place

>>733
Who are you quoting?

>implying that the proper pronoun isn't "whom"

Please stop doing that. Remember what website you're on, or, more specifically, what website you aren't on.

>implying that people shouldn't ever post things they are slightly afraid to post

>>737
That gets annoying after awhile, you know?

>implying that not every one of us are 4channelers to the core.

Dont' worry. He'll go back there soon enough. It's the only place he belongs anyway.

Yesterday I jaywalked in front of a cop car.
Fuck the police.

>>741
I got a ride in the backseat of a cop car once. The trunk was filled to the brim with shotguns.

The suspension was really nice.

>>742 I had to ride in the backseat of a cop car. I was being taken to the psych ward of the hospital.

>implying greentext isn't the new meme

Dear DQN, I participated in this ">implying" affair. I don't think it was a right thing to do.

i slept for 12 hours

I have anger issues...

>>743
I was handcuffed in the backseat of a cop car after being arrested back in high school. True story.

I was handcuffed in the back of a police car once for vandalising a local supermarket, and they searched me, she asked if i had anything dodgy in my pockets first and I said no, no i don't, then she found a bottle of amyl nitrate in my pocket and was like "hmmm what's this for?" and i said it's to get a headrush, but it's legal, it's legal! and she said "hmmm what do YOU use it for?" suggesting I liked to take it up the bum, which I didn't at that point in my life. I was quite wasted on various drugs and they said "are you on something, you seem quite spacey" and I got away with it by saying hmmm i'm normally quite spacey or so my friends say, it's just the way I am. Also I pissed myself 10 minutes before I was arrested.

I invaded private propierty.

>>746
That's not lame, I do that all the time.

My first martial arts instructor was named--and I swear to god I am not making this up--Jim Kirk.

I have a problem with using my charm and good looks to lure most girls I meet. But relationships are repulsive to me. Sometimes I just enjoy their affectionate advances. Other times I'm bored.

My friends tend to envy me this. I see it as just another skill - of which I have many.

>>753-san's post makes me bitter, but only because I have an inferiority complex and can't accept other people being good at things without being all misanthropic about it.

Despite the best efforts of documentary film makers, 20th century history is dreadfully boring me at best.

I used to draw a shitty comic of vulgar jokes. At first the characters were called Butt-head and Dorkus. But then I decided that Butt-head sounded too reminiscent of Beavis and Butt-head, and found out that "Dorcas" is a real (albeit old-fashioned) GIRL's name that sounds just like "Dorkus". So Butt-head became Ass-head and Dorkus was renamed to Peter F. Dick (who was also going to have an uncle called Harry Dick, but I never got around to actually writing him in...)

I also named my half-orc in Angband "Dick Halflong" once during a late-night sleep deprivation session. It kind of became a tradition for me, and as characters die a lot in that game, I got up to like Dick Halflong XIV or thereabouts.

Whenever I watch a live-action movie these days, I tend to get dreadfully bored within minutes. I suspect that all these years of watching moeblob anime have ruined me for looking at real, non-exaggerated human facial expressions.

I started to learn Japanese eight years ago, all so I could enjoy untranslated eroge. In hindsight it was so not worth the effort

>>758,759
Are you both early-to-mid-twenties who began learning it as a young teenager? I ask because I, too, tried learning around eight years ago, at which time I was fourteen. This would seem like the common age for intelligent otaku to take a stab at the language.

I still can't read it either, however :/

I started in middle school, personally (age 13). While I originally did it for the eroge, I have actually ventured out into reading more mundane/useful things over the past 11 years....

I can read (not write) about 1000 kanji fairly well now. My grammar will be awful forever. I kind of half-assed the studying, you know?

If the whole programming thing doesn't work out, I do have a shot at translating vidya gaems.

>>759,760
It seems I'm older than >>760,762. I seriously started at age 19, though I did make some half-hearted attempts before then. Currently I can read some 1400 kanji, and write maybe 900 without a reference. I'm still a college undergrad, but having Japanese as major subject helps me not be too half-assed about it. It does have the disadvantage of having to write boring essays about the economic history of tiny villages in Aomori, though. The biggest grammar problem I struggle with is matching politeness registers inappropriately to the situation.

>>763 I started learning when I was 19 as well but I only did it for a year and then my Japanese teacher lost her job and had to go back to Japan. It was heartbreaking, she was a lovely jolly little lady and she started crying in class. So I only really know hiragana and katakana and very basic vocabulary, which I'm forgetting because I haven't studied in 3 years. Which is a shame but I don't have the time...

Every time I spot a translation error in a fansubbed anime/drama, I get the urge to send a correction to the translator. But since most of the stuff I watch was aired and translated several years ago, I figure nobody would give a damn about my corrections anymore, even if I did have a way of contacting the fansubbers. And so the error remains uncorrected, and deep inside I feel guilty for not speaking up.

I self-consciously insert Americanisms into my speech whenever I post on a US-dominated online forum, even though I've never spent more than two weeks in the United States and find it frankly distasteful.

>>766
I do this too. The problem is that people insist on pointing out whenever you use a Commonwealth spelling or idiom, but never when you use American speech. I suppose it's understandable given that these sort of sites are predominantly American, but you'd think people would be more tolerant or at least get bored of pointing out you put a "u" in "colour".

I cheated at "pin the tail on the donkey" at my fifth birthday party.

Whenever I see a highly-rated YouTube comment saying "Thumbs up if condition foo is met", I vote it down. I don't like random strangers telling me what to do.

>>769 there are certain imperative statements on the Internet I am willing to tolerate, but I will never oblige those. Another one I will never oblige is the single word "Elaborate." Yes, what I said was fancy, also get off your retarded high horse if I wanted to say more I would say more; maybe if you were polite about it I might, but ah-ah-ah you didn't say the magic word.

whoops I think I mistook this thread for a chat thread my bad

>>769 I do that too. And "x people didn't y" in regards to the number of dislikes on a video. Youtube memes in general.

>>769,771 Yup, same here. Idiot thumb-whoring is pathetic. The only one I ever voted up was something like "Thumbs up if... You know what? Never mind. 'Thumbs up if' comments suck.".

>>770
See also: "Discuss.".

I kind of liked the Uwe Boll Bloodrayne movie (the first one, I haven't seen the follow-ups.)

It may have helped that I'd not yet played the game when I saw it, of course.

Speaking of Uwe Boll, every time I go to the local video rental I have to force myself to ignore the Postal movie on the shelf. One day, I need to research just how much revenue a director gets from a single DVD rental. Maybe then my internal conflict will be negotiated to a satisfactory conclusion.

>>769
Obviously it's the younger generation and I'm willing to forgive them for that (I doubt I was better at 14), but I hope the Internet as a whole outgrows it.

Makes me wonder if similar things happened when other means of communication were invented. It must have taken a lot of bickering and oh-for-fuck's-sake-give-it-a-rest before things like written communication became what they are today.

>>769
Whenever I see a comment like that, I vote it up. I secretly hope that somebody "loses it" and assaults somebody else AFK in a feat of rage. I dream about this headline in the morning news: "A dork kicked two butts over a silly youtube comment, before getting his ass whooped by a jock."

These dreams of schadenfreude make sifting through comments more or less tolerable.

I also made a few "arrow in the knee" jokes and rather successfully upset a bunch of "arrow in the knee" haters with a "sword through the chest" variations.

>>775
It only goes downhill from there.
I'd rather avoid reading "written communication" between two youngsters. Amateur radio has its share of pirates and people who can't get it right (however, it's a rather strict community). Phone pranks are increasingly more popular as recording tools, sound boards and other things become more and more accessible. And, well, the Eternal September.

I don't read anything Espeon posts.

I posted with this name. Again.

>>777,778
I take my joy in your suffering.

I must admit I feel a bit sorry for her. How much do you have to hate yourself before you begin trolling a place like DQN?

>>780
Who knows.

>>780
Some people don't deserve sympathy.

So as not to be entirely off topic, my lame confession is that I overuse semicolons.

I felt relieved that DQN still has people who can understand my point of view, like >>780 did!

Wouldn't be able to do much without anyone's support actually.ww

and that's why we will hunt down the collaborators, and send them to the Island of Perpetual Tickling

I overuse em dashes.
Perhaps this is a good thing since ASCII/keyboards don't have a dedicated dash and people seem to have forgotten they exist.

>>785
Yes ― you're doing a good thing〜.

Every time I read a Cracked.com article and a smile passes over my face, I imagine a frat boy giggling at the exact same lines and feel bad about my amusement. I guess the Elitist Superstructure really is the perfect place for someone as snooty as me.

I can extrude hair, but I can't retract it.

I come off as intelligent and witty online, but without immediate access to Google I am nothing.

>>789
Don't people become suspicious about your response times to certain messages? If I noticed a consistent delay followed by an erratic, too-quick typing rate I might start to wonder what could initially be taking so long.

>>790
I rarely do real-time communication these days, but people are more forgiving of a minute delay in IRC or MSN than they would be over the phone or in real life. You might have less time to look something up between chatting, but on the plus side people don't expect you to type up a ten paragraph essay either.

Of course with email and message boards, it's easy to write long posts making yourself look knowledgeable about anything.

IRC is the best form of communication

I find XKCD to be unfunny.

I'm 21 and I threw out my back today cutting down thorn bushes with swords.

I unironically enjoyed High School Musical.

DQN would eventually lose itself in the recesses of my memory if it were not the browser home page.

>>795
I've lied and told everyone who has asked whether I've seen it that I actually have, only so that they can talk about it while I enthusiastically agree instead of creating the awkward, disappointed silence which follows a lack of awareness of something one holds dear.

I feel guilty bumping threads after several consecutive sages.

I could not get the >>800 GET.

My captcha for this post was, fittingly, inane

>>800
I do. Between the theft of my GET and the reuff talking, ignorant dokyun, I feel like my life can't get any worse.

I tried to sage a thread on my phone and bumped it instead.

I have never seen Revenge of the Sith.

I have never seen any of the Star Wars films. Not even one.

For my high school's senior class president election, I ran and used Emperor Palpatine's speech in front of my entire class, mocking his voice.

I almost won.

>>807
Oh yeah, that was me a while back.

Consider this another post for this lame thread- I posted a video of myself on the Secret Area.

I don't get why qwantz.com is so popular among my friends. The guy has been using the same six frames of mediocre clip-art on a plain white background and combining them with walls of mostly unfunny text in a shitty font for years. What is it about that so-called webcomic that I clearly must be missing?

>>809
Are your friends 17-years-old and/or pseudo-intellectual, perchance?

I'm not good at talking to women.

>>806

Which Speech?

>>812
From Episode III when he becomes Emperor

I haven't watched My Little Pony for a few weeks and I kinda miss it.

I go to 4chan's /mlp/ board and post fluffy pony fanfiction anonymously. Unlike most "fluffy pony" stories, which are about someone torturing the stupid little beasts horribly, yukkuri style, mine attempt to go for the inherent surreal black humor of the "fluffy pony" concept. Everyone ignores me. [spoiler];_;[/spoiler]

I like to massage my breasts with my bare feet.

I spelled "tattooed" wrong...

>>816
Not possible. Pics or it didn't happen.

I am not in elementary school, but I sometimes play games on easy mode.

I actually spent thirty seconds contorting myself to try to recreate >>816's acclaimed feat.

>>820
I just tried, too, but I'm too flat.

I once ended up in a strange AIM conversation with a friend as to whether she could lick her own nipples. She attested she could if she pulled her breasts closer to her face, and did it there and then, describing the act. To her it was an innocent bit of fun. To me it was a chatlog I've had saved for almost ten years.

>>822
That's just depressing.

>>822
I would have done the same.

>>822
I want you to post it.

>>822
How old were you when you saved it, and why did you delete it in the end?

>>822
One of my ex's said she liked to lick her nipples in the shower.

I'm licking my nipples right now and I'm not even female.

I frequently fart on my boyfriend's dick while spooning

>>829 That's weird.

>>829
gross

CAPTCHA had the word shit in it

>>830

I can't help it I have really bad flatulence...

>>832 go to the fart thread in 4chan's /d/ board. People in that thread love stories about women farting on their boyfriend.

>>833

> Go to [...] 4chan

NO THANK YOU!

I play all video games on the lowest difficulty setting.

I don't know how to italicize here

>>835
I continually cheat at video games. In fact, I won't buy video games unless you can cheat.

Post too long. Click to view the whole post or the thread page.

>>839
Were you on /jp/ earlier too?!

>>840
Err, no. I only go to *chans when somebody sends me a link which is quite rare. Anyway, what happened there? Rob was 19 again and everyone was having a blast, weren't they?

>>841
He's 19? I thought he was like, 17. I vaguely recall Jkid ``blackmailing'' him for being underage.

Someone mentioned demoscene, is all.

I don't know who you are talking about.
Rob is jarig is a mighty fine demoscenish meme: ttp://www.pouet.net/prod.php?which=7084 - just look at the list of release parties.

I fell for >>838.

>>844 me too, it was wonderful

I must confess that Skyrim has deeply affected me.

After playing as khajiit for some time I decided to take ALL THE SALMON! And I did so, stealing, catching or just taking - the way of obtaining it didn't matter. I always have around 200 pieces of it in this game and eat the surplus.

As a result, every time I see salted salmon in my local supermarket, I can't help myself but buy one. Thanks god, I'm not a kleptomaniac AFK.

(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！
(」・ω・)」うー！(/・ω・)/にゃー！

I just searched someting using Bing and I found what I was looking for.

My name isn't Andrew. I feel so out of place.

I'm David.

So am I.

Ah, screw it. As a great man(?) once said, "shit lets be david".

>>852 [sic]

Andrew is a good name.

I'm Andrew.
>>852
Shit, lets be santa.
I'll be your mister claus.

Can I be the Santa from "Dragon Pink"?

>>855
...and we'll fade away on~ christmas day,
in a jpeg impression loss.

do do do de de do do do dee do dee

VC: joy

I used to tolerate people that read Homestuck and watched My Little Pony.

I like ST: Enterprise better than ST: Voyager.

I like ST: Voyager better than Deep Space Nine.

Every once in a while I notice the words "Blue Moon" in the stylesheet list and get that song stuck in my head.

I get very sweaty from even the least difficult exercises and minigames on Wii Fit.

Sometimes I get impatient with /dqn/ and reply to my own posts in threads about the previous poster. Afterwards I often feel guilty without quite knowing why.

>>863
same. sometimes multiple times in a row

I avoid using the word "ironic" because I'm afraid that people will tell me I'm misusing it.

That's very ironic, >>865.

I use a tripcode on other boards.

I am trying to learn how to program the 6502.

That isn't lame, >>868. Similar 8-bit CPUs are still in widespread use in embedded systems. I daresay you might even get a job programming the 6502 with that skill. I demand lamer confessions.

>>869
What if I told you I'm only trying to learn it because of being a rabid Elite fan?

I watched Cyber City Oedo for the sole purpose of confirming or denying my suspicion that Benten was in fact the vampire being talked about in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2Q6AwrGUkQ

I mean, look at him. (But no, he isn't.)

I intentionally dumb down my writing on IRC and most boards.

It's not that I'm intelligent or anything, I just type properly and I don't want people to think I'm somehow arrogant.

>>872 me too kind of

>>872
What do you mean by "dumb down," like typing in lowercase? That's not being an idiot, it's being more practical... less time and effort with the same message expressed in the end.

>>874 I beg to differ. Consider the classic example "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse", which expresses quite a different meaning when written completely in lowercase.

I continually make redundant statement continually....

>>877
Life itself is one big redundancy. Maybe.

I continuously get "continuously" and "continually" confused.

Oh well, at least people can imply what I mean from the context.

>>872
I only that do that if lowercase is most prevalent, eg., in #4chan. With different friends however I'll mimic their writing style to the fullest extent.

>>880
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1057

>>880

>#4chan

>>879
infer a penny, infer a pound

>>874
I actually type faster in sentence case, because that's how I'm used to typing. It takes more time and conscious effort to lowercasify what I type.

You are the kind of person I am worried about, though. I don't want to look snobby when everyone else is using shorthand and all-lowercase, then I come along and type in proper English, (apparently) putting more work in.

I make replies in threads that shouldn't have all that many replies.

I defaced a public bench today with the words “BUMS DO POOS”

>>885
Please don't do that.

>>886
Good work.

>>887
To disambiguate, I make replies to specific posts in threads that shouldn't have replies to specific posts. You should be ashamed!

"lame" is an anagram for "meal." That is suddenly fascinating to me this morning.

"Lame" backwards is "emal".

That's kind of like "email" or "eval".

I care.

I just lied to this girl I chat to online about being naked.
I'm actually wearing a pair of boxers and a watch.

If I'm talking about a serious or academic topic, I often dumb down my spelling and grammar so people won't take me too seriously if I turn out to be wrong.

>>891
Why lie?

swim is nearly the same upside down!

I'm afraid of woodlice. It isn't quite a phobia, but even so.

i went nearly a month without reading /dqn/ and now feel guilty

>>897
You missed nothing of relevance, anyway.

>>896 me too, and many other harmless bugs, because of the scarab beetles in The Mummy films

I don't like country music except the ones that are enjoyable in a dark comedy / schadenfreude / cynical sort of way. Those ones are hilarious.

(if you aren't familiar with the genre, by the way, sardonic humor is actually a bigger part of it than you might suspect)

I'm severely addicted to the WWW

I have, in the past, had long baths with candles and a book, massages, weekend retreats; all sorts of supposedly relaxing activities - and none of them were ever as relaxing as two minutes of sitting watching the emergency mittens floating down the screen.

When I was a kid, Mom said I had spent way too much time on the computer playing the game. The game said I had only like 8 hours, and computers don't lie, so I called her BS and we got into a big fight.

Only later did I find out that FFVIIPC runs the clock at half speed.

(I started at "7" hours, by the way)

I spend ~18 hours online a day

I spend ~18 hours in bed a day

>>907 qq

I can only barely get through stage 2 of Perfect Cherry Blossom without dying.

It annoys me that my favorite cultures are among the most racist.

I have this guitar, but I don't know how to play it.

I went to the bathroom today and I didn't wipe.

our singer writes the worst fucking music and I don't want to tell him without hurting his feelings because he's a whiny bitch like that but god damn it this song is terrible i haven't practised it at all
and when he tells us to rehearse it i'm just going to say
fuck you
let the people who play the instruments write music for the instruments
you fucking untalented hack
you can't even sing
die in a fire
or something

My computer is too slow for the aforementioned social games I do not have friends who play.

I've masturbated to pictures of dissected brains.
Why do I feel slightly proud of myself ?

People's insides really gives me a chubby.

Whenever I'm bored and have an erection I play a game called "What can I jerk off to?" I'll just think about totally random things or look at various objects in my room and try jerking off to them. My research indicates the answer to be "Anything."

>>916
I used to play that game too but I've found the older I get the harder it is to get off.

>>913 oh man I've been there

The only time that I remember
Talking to a girl at schooool

...worried that she might say no!

I tripped a girl once and made her cry.

I tripped a guy once and made him really angry.

Ever since someone complained about people derailing the short novel threads with nonsense, I like to do just that to spite him when I otherwise probably wouldn't even post in the thread.

I am far more excited about the upcoming 7000th of September than about Halloween or Christmas.

I've turned my young schoolgirl lover into an addict with weird synthetic powders

>>924
It's supposed to be sequential nonsense, that ties into itself nicely and perhaps touches on the main themes of GSL and Daddy Cool.

Since I lost my job I was waking up well past 11:00, which feels me with a pure hatred of myself every time. I keep trying to wake up earlier, but it doesn't happen. I'm in a hermit-like state as a result.

One time I was playing with a Stretch Armstrong toy with the little sister of a classmate who I didn't like, and when Stretch was stretched out far enough that she began to lean back to stretch further, I deliberately let go so that she fell on her ass.

I get really angry when people post Tumblr links on DQN and then chat in the CTRL+V thread. I bet it's the same guy doing both.

I fucking loved Madoka, however it has forced me to come to terms with the fact that you could probably create just about anything involving cute girls wearing frilly dresses and I'd call it a masterpiece.

I haven't contributed a good post to DQN since at least September 5500.

I didn't understand what "hotglue" was until recently. I thought it was actually hot glue (like from a glue gun) and some people just liked the idea of figures being submerged in it (hey, there are weirder fetishes).

I feel so naive. It's like the time I discovered dakimakura were sex toys and I'd been doing it wrong for years.

If I ever have a kid I want a smart girl because I hate boys and stupid people, but not too hot because I don't want to worry about being attracted to her.

I would quite like to have a daughter that I could dress in frilly dresses and whatnot, sort of like vicarious crossdressing.

While I find the thought of sexual activity in a purely recreational form appealing, the actual process of reproduction is revolting to me.

>>934
That's not lame, that's the kind of good thinking that keeps the population in check.

I accidentally replied to the whole mailing list instead of the sender yesterday.

i would welcome a DQN into my home

I don't have a lawn. I don't even have an ambition to get a lawn.

I'd buy a patch of turf just to let a goat feel welcome, should one visit.

I'm so hungry I could eat a goat

I read the entirety of http://archives.4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1184219871/, and the ending nearly brought me to tears.

I have just finished reading the story of Boatmurdered. I am deeply touched by it. I feel slightly desperate.

>>943
What are these powers? I'd like to check whenever I have them as well!

>>942
I read both the sequels straight after that just to fill the gaping hole in my life. Took days. Fucking killed my grades but totally worth it.

Kryptonite is my weakness.

I missed with my mouse and accidentally pooped the perfect rating on someone's picture on pixiv.

I hit my lips pretty hard when I was lifting my hand in shame and surprise.

I murdered >>0

>>256
I am now nearly 26 and, despite having obtained a university degree, gotten a basic training certificate (and working towards a more advanced one) and started training in a third language, I am still yet to hold an actual job.

Jesus Christ.

>>948
That's a rather drastic confession, this is clearly not lame.

I broke 4chan's linking system in order to sabotage the republic.

>>950
it's lame because i didn't actually murder >>0

Whenever I was going through the complete collection of NES ROMs that I downloaded, I would pass over "Sweet Home" because the title made me imagine some overly saccharine house building sim or something equally "kawaii" that probably wasn't even translated. Even when I heard it referred to as being creepy a few times, I assumed it was people being sarcastic or just one of those Japanese things that's "too weird" for a western audience. It was only when I saw it referred to together with Clock Tower (which I recently played and enjoyed) that I decided to actually give it a try.

I genuinely get slightly upset when people sexualise Touhou. Needless to say, I keep well away from most Touhou-centric areas of the internet because of this.

I drove 40mph in a 30mph area for a few seconds before I realized where I was and slowed down.

>>949
I wasn't in quite in as bad a way as you, but I got a careerish job after NEETing for two years after college at 24.

I'm procrastinating instead of finishing a picture of the DQN lobby.

Every day I remember about it and feel ashamed. I can't do anything because of the shame!

I'm completely disabled by a sense of guilt. I can only manage to lie down and cry.

So, as the Earth keeps spinning around and about mercilessly, I find myself in shortage of stories about age-mates whose personal lives resemble train wrecks.

That's what helped my loser mentality stay afloat. This realisation makes me quite sad, really. As planet's rotations push me closer to the title of "The Ultimate Loser", I just don't know what should I do and what can I do. I don't even know how to learn this. I just panic when I see the whole picture.

You might be wondering, "What does the Earth has to do with it? What would change for me even if it stopped?" Well, such a spectacular tragedy would change pretty much everything. Certainly I wouldn't have time to pity myself.

I'm posting in the wrong thread.

Or am I?

I took a big shit and took a photo of it on my phone, then set it as my phone wallpaper

>>960 Did you ever see the South Park episode "More Crap"?

Anyway, I sometimes worked with guys who would show off their biggest crap. I never had any impressive craps.

I forgot to fap today, now I'm at a higher risk of prostate cancer.

>>961 I have seen that episode yes. It's not the biggest I have done, but it was just to show my girlfriend, she likes to see my progress

>>963 Does she show you hers?

>>958 Hey want to hang out some time?

>>964 No, I burst in once when she had diarrhoea and it was messy but she got really embarrassed and I felt bad.

tfw no gf

If I ever got filthy, unbelievably rich, I would probably run out of hedonistic pleasures pretty quickly and just bankroll Everybody Loves Clonepa Productions or something.

I don't have a girlfriend. I'm not looking for one. I don't mind it.

• I coughed up 40 bux back in the day and bought Windows 8.
• I installed Windows 8.
• I broke all apps by stopping sharing Users folder.
• I had to look everywhere on the web, eventually finding fixes through obscure websites (though downloads were from Microsoft).
• Fixes didn't actually fix the broken apps and I had to reinstall them, thankfully I had only default ones.
• I couldn't be arsed to actually reinstall all of the apps.
• I'm struggling with the learning curve. Probably learning how to be like a pro in Linux terminal is easier.
• I don't want to read a manual for Windows 8.

All that trouble and annoyance for a price of getting banned 4 times from "the most funny" webforum online!

>>970
Yes, Windows 8 should be banned from the "most funny" webforum online's ex-sub-forum Helldump.

https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=36188
Who is lame now, Windows 7?! BRB, installing Windows ME on my Windows 8! #YOLO. #Swag.

When someone says "honk honk" my first thought is Gamzee rather than Chen.

>>973 i think of a car or titties.

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!! ( > ω < )

>>973 My first thought is Harpo Marx.

Can't go wrong with the classics, man...

>>976
cute

>>976
CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

Yama no Susume was so beautiful it brought me to tears.

>>980
I can't wait for the shower scene OVA.

wat

I just misread "cunning lies" as "cunnilingus".

I just misread "cunnilingus" as "cuntaluffigus".

I haven't seen a film I haven't understood.

When I was registering my new cool Bamboo Pen, I couldn't get the software key working. I mailed all my info to support, the guy said that the key is fine and asked me to check whenever I had the right model selected. I wrote that it was fine and the key wasn't working even thought I tried replacing W with VV, etc. So, that support guy asked me to check it again, but this time he specified to look at the model number. He was right, I selected the older model instead of "Bamboo 3. Gen. Pen".

That was deeply embarrassing. I can't get myself to draw anything due to the stress.

>>989 silly billy, don't let it get to you though, turn that embarrassment and stress into some profound artwork

I really hate this board. It annoys me that there's such a great English text board site out there, and most of its posters are hanging out on what is basically the "forum games" section. Months go between posts on the topical boards, but people post here every day. While I don't want the boards to be lightning fast (and slow boards are generally higher quality), I think you're all doing the site a disservice by playing around in the worst board and not contributing to the pretty interesting threads going on in others. Even worse are the people who liked "ITT: we role-play as grandpa ( ´ω`) [AA] [VIP]" so much that they spun it off into its own site.

It's not that I mind catchphrases or having fun, I just think you're squandering a great website and I hate every single one of you.

I think >>992 is dumb not because his opinion differs fol mine but because he doesn't understand why the other boards are dead.

>>992
Having fun is a more noble cause for a textboard like DQN than any other. I mean we still have good discussion but we're not USENET, not to mention that this is basically what the 2ch VIP boards are like.

>>992
Someone's grumpy about #11!

> Modified /b/ meme
> 4-ch

facepalm.iff, >>996

Sometimes I don't stick on topic in this thread.

I find Disney princess pretty hot.